Over 40's TTC lots of baby dust to us all 6

[Chatbash72]

New thread ladies 💕

@Chatbash72 that's interesting - do try not to worry though. My GP said procedure for mid cycle bleeding was check smear history first and ensure all up to-date, then swabs for infection, then check cervix for ectropion and then send for follow up if needed. Apparently the cervical thing is really common for causing bleeding - have they done that with you first?

@Namechanger0800 had my smear in February so it's all looking good..

Sending big hugs to all you ladies
#babylossawarenessweek

I’d like to echo that @Chatbash72 Big hugs to those who have experienced losses. Also hoping those who haven’t never have to go through it. I won’t be the same person after my two but it’s made me feed even more blessed to have my little boy. Xx

Hey there...

I think you are the group I've been looking for..

I'm 43 with 2 beautiful boys (8,2) and am currently experiencing an early miscarriage (6 weeks) as I write this. This is the second failed pregnancy I've had in the space of 4 months.
I unexpectedly fell pregnant during lock down which ended in a very drawn out silent miscarriage which I delivered at 14 weeks... (In June) Flawed me, to say the least. Although the baby wasn't planned, I'd always thought I'd like a third child. This confirmed it. As soon as my cycle returned I started using ovulation sticks (for the first time) and to my surprise, fell again very quickly. But also, lost again. This time - much sooner.

So here I am girls...Now longing so hard for a 3rd bubba at the grand old age of 43 with an empathy-lacking mother..

....... Have I passed initiation!?!? 🖖

@Dollymixture77 hi im very SORRY for your lost its really hard that something so precious and very much wanted can be such a struggle i do wish u the best of luck .your story along with others is very touching i had a miscarriage at 12 weeks back in april 5 days before my scan devastated was/is an understatement. U mentioned theres no empathy with your mum in what way ,what has see said to u xxx

Hi ladies, just wanted to join a group as I am 40 and ttc number 3. Something weird has happened this month. 3 days before as at 11 dpo has some black spotting for 2 days. Af is now 2 days late but pregnancy test yesterday was not pregnant on a digital. Anyone exp anything like this ? X

Feeling very negative today. Got my peak yesterday and felt very obvious ovulation pains but has bleeding after sex so worried there is some hormonal issue. I really wish I could rewind time and have started trying after I had my DD rather than waiting two years. Terrified it isn't going to happen. I know the odds are against me anyway.

Sorry for being so miserable.

Got a bfp then started bleeding 😢

@idreamof2more

🤍

I'm so sorry..
I'm with you right now

And to every heart that is breaking or has been broken by a bub that never made it to our arms 🤍

Thank you so much! 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Just checking in smf sending love to all of those who have experienced loss. Blaw.

Hi can I join this group? I’m 40 and have started trying for my second child, my first has just turned three.

Anyway I was very excited about ttc until my period decided to put a spanner in the works it arrived on day 18 of my cycle! I’m usually around the 27,28,29 day length ( it used to be 28 days like clockwork until I had my son but it was still Fairly regular)

Should I be worried? Is this menopause ???? Have I dried up???

Please give me some encouraging words !!! My husband says it could be stress or just one of those things .... but ... I don’t know :(

Hi lovely, perhaps it’s just a one off. I recently had lots of tests done to determine early menopause so there are tests out there but I’m not sure sure they would arrange just after 1 funny cycle. My go would not but yours may be more understanding.
I am also 40 and never really track ov but have had some weird short periods. This month it came 3 days early but then I realised I was pregnant (chemical). I would say relax and see what happens next cycle. Good luck with ttc baby number 2. I am ttc number 3. Have 2 ds ages 15 & 4. Xxx

You are quite right ! I should just chill ! But you know how these things are!! Good luck with ttc number 3.

Also out of curiosity how did you know it was a chemical? I’ve heard people talk of these before and I’m just curios

As I lost the baby at 4 weeks after getting bfp. It’s a loss before 6 weeks. After that it’s a mc.

For all those beautiful stars that we never got to hold but always love...
sending lots of love to you lovely ladies
Welcome to @Jonesydocandjr @Idreamof2more @Dollymixture77 and anyone else I have missed..
so sorry for your losses.. 💕💕💕💕💕

Thank you 🥰🥰🥰

@chatbash72

🙏 Thank you x

@blessinghearts

So sorry, only just seen your message. Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm so sorry that you have lost a baby too. It's such a huge amount of emotions to deal with isn't it .. I hope you have much love and support. Will you try again?

In answer to your question, my Mum just isn't good with dealing with difficult situations. She almost plays down the event by focusing on what I already have and it 'could be worse'. When sometimes you just have to acknowledge the pain and work through it.. No matter how hard it is..

Sending love to all those out there on this challenging journey 💖

@Dollymixture77 hiya its ok at least u seem like u are coping well as hard as it is.yes im still trying had a few chemicals after that but im still being positive and grateful for my 2 kids i have.no body in there right mind wants to have a miscarriage /loss but the way how i see it is that its not fair to conceive a baby that will have life long issues despite that baby being a humun being life /some people can be so cruel to others with health /disabilitys its so wrong its not nice for that child to suffer so thats why people say things happen for a reason .sometimes there are no real reasons why it just happens its painful so u just have to think positve have your chin up and hope for the best .ha ha my mum would also say the same its the case of why do u want more u have 2 already the funny thing about it is that its hypocritical as she longed for a son and wouldnt stop untill she got what she wanted desipe struggling with money ha ha joke so i just dont tell her nothing on my affairs.

AND too all the ladies out there dont give up never give up always be hopeful and positive xxx

Hi, I hope you don't mind me posting. I'm 40 y/o and 5 months (as in old, not pregnant ).

I'm trying to decided whether to freeze my eggs. If I start ttc in 12 months then it's hardly worth it. I'm struggling to find rates of success with frozen eggs for 40-42 y/o. I found a statistic of around 3.5% for 36-39 y/o. The clinic I spoke to (Lister) quoted a study that had a rate of success (live birth) for women who had 20 own eggs frozen at 42 as 37% and said the stats I had found are old data. I'm not sure I understand their statistic, as it is very high, it must because its multiple cycles or maybe the eggs were frozen younger.

I am finding it hard to decide what to do as egg freezing is around 5k per cycle. It then could become 'in for a penny' to get as close to 20 eggs. This is eye watering, at least for me, and would need to be financed with a loan. Plus further cost down the line, less if I went abroad.

I had a scan last week and my AMH is 15 pmol and I had 10 antral follicles.

In my heart, it gives me more joy to think about not spending all the money now and putting all my energies into finding a partner, but I'm also painfully aware that the fertility level I have now may not be what I have in 12 months+. I suppose fertility level can be boosted with IVF if I had trouble conceiving, but quality of eggs are less. So possibly swings and roundabouts?

The data I have seen on natural pregnancy was 5% for 40-42 y/o and 9% for 40-42 y/o with IVF, although these might also be old stats.

I suppose I'm asking what others who may be a few years on would do in my position? Obviously the answer is get on with it and find someone (I have ruled out donor sperm). The cost and low chance of success puts me off freezing my eggs but I am worried I will regret not doing it. I have moments when I am all for it and moments where it doesn't feel enough, and a very expensive 'not enough'.

@beachywalks it's a tricky one! Would you consider donor eggs if you don't freeze and find someone later along the line?

@beachywalks I know you said you'd ruled out donor sperm but this is the option I would advocate for if you really want children - that's where I'd spend the money. Sounds like you have reasonable chance at the moment from the tests you've had but it's undoubtedly more difficult as you age. I had no problems conceiving in my late twenties - could pick the month we wanted baby to be born kind of ease. Come 38 started to have mc. Then took a year and another mc. Another year and was very lucky to have my DD at 41. Now nearly another year of ttc and not a snifter and again even if I do get a BFP there's the high risk of mc - I am feeling positive and hopeful but also need to accept this may be it for me at 43.

If you really want children and are already 40 then do whatever is your best shot but I would urge you to start now actively ttc

Thank you both so so much @lucieloos and @Namechanger0800 for taking the time to reply. I am needing to hear all different perspectives and I really appreciate it. I am very much going to get on with it (dating) with my eyes open that it could take years to conceive. I wish you both (all) positive baby making vibes.