Over 40's TTC lots of baby dust to us all 6

[Chatbash72]

New thread ladies 💕

Hello. New here and would really appreciate some advice. In my 40s and have 2 children but desperate for a third. Doctors have said not to ‘waste time’ trying naturally but the two fertility clinics i have spoken with have said there are a lot of positives in my case so it is worth a try. We havent really been trying for personal reasons so I have no known fertility problems - just the age (i am 44 so I realize it’s a long shot). I realise that abnormalities are a much higher risk with older mothers but some of them can be spotted pre-natally. But while googling i saw a few headlines about a “much” higher risk of autism in IVF children. I was just wondering if anyone has any knowledge of this and whether there have been any more or less conclusive studies here. I appreciate the higher odds of autism in children of older mothers but hadn’t head about IVF specifically being a risk. Was just wondering if anyone had any insights. Thank you in advance!

OnaTop3
Do you need IVF for some other reason? As I understand it, for women in their mid 40s with children and no previous fertility problems, chances are massively higher trying naturally than with IVF because your body does a better job selecting the right egg etc. I had my two naturally at 41 and 44 and I'm with you with the desire for a third.

Hi Petra - really?! That is amazing to hear. Everyone (well apart from one doctor actually, my regular gynaecologist who i suppose is probably the most impartial) told me the chances of conceiving naturally at 44 are minuscule so rather than ‘wasting time’ trying to conceive naturally I should do IFV to give it a ‘proper shot’. I also considered a natural IVF option at Create but then was told ARGC have much higher success rates for women over 40 so.. spoke to them and they said no, best shot is a ‘proper’ IVF. As far as I know i have no fertility problems - it’s just that we didnt try for various reasons (including actually separating for a time). I also just had some polyps removed which apparently may also have been an issue...other than that there are no problems. Just the age. I would absolutely love to avoid the whole thing of course but I suppose my fear is spending some time trying naturally, failing, and then the chances of even IVF succeeding getting ever smaller..... So..you are trying naturally now for another one? Thank you - it’s amazingly encouraging to hear you conceived naturally at 44. I just assumed it won’t happen now.

Hi there! How wonderful to hear about the natural conception at 44! I’ve been told the same thing (conceiving naturally may be easier than through IVF at my age). I tried naturally throughout lockdown with limited success (one CP) and now doing a few rounds of IVF on the basis that it is more time-sensitive, and if it doesn’t work I can keep going naturally afterwards. Also I am worried that we may be locked down again, in which case natural will be the only option on the table...

Anxious - can i ask if you are going ‘normal’ or natural IVF? One clinic (admittedly specialising in natural IVF) told me that is better at my age, the other said no, normal is better and natural only appropriate in certain situations but not mine (i only really have the age as an ‘issue’). So I am still struggling to decide which route to take. On IVF vs no IVF i have thought like you about IVF being more time sensitive and also possibly not being available if we go into further lockdowns....so tempted but literally now on the cusp of having to decide.

I am doing normal as still had a reasonable response last time. Let’s see what it looks like this time

Everything crossed for you. I am just on my way to take my bloods for the ‘monitoring cycle’.

Hi all, I used to be a member of this thread but now just read and keep my fingers crossed for you. Reading & seeing that some positive news might be needed I just wanted to let you know that I am another one with natural conception at 41 & 43 (born 2 days after my 44th birthday). it is possible. I found an ovulation monitor helped to know that things were still working . Good luck to you all.

That’s lovely to hear. Thank you!!!!

@OnaTop3 thank you! Fingers crossed for you too. And @janed9388 - how very lovely to hear. Depending on how this cycle goes I might stop panicking and just try!

Me too! 😊. I am just ‘monitoring’ this month with the clinic which will be informative. And I guess also need to stop panicking, and decide if I then go ahead, or delay and try naturally.

Ladies would really app your wisdom. I am 7/8 dpo. Tested negative with first response early today but got these results with clear blue early. The cb is not supposed to be as sensitive so I am so confused and driving myself mad. The first picture was straight away and the second after time limit.

I have no wisdom to impart but I can definitely see a line

Same here! looks very pregnant to me! :) finger crossed!!!

I agree! Looks very promising! Ladies on a separate note, does anyone have any experience with PGS? I have been told by one doctor that it is 98% accurate, and by another that the range of false negatives and positives makes it useless...

Thank you what is PGS? Xx

Only know v little re PGS sorry - no experience. Both doctors (from the two IVF clinics I have spoken to) don’t seem to be recommending it unless previous recurrent miscarriages or multiple IVF failures (not sure how many that would involve!) or if parents are known to be carriers of chromosomal mutations. And according to HFEA there is no evidence that it is effective and safe; risks damaging the embryo, false natives/positives etc. So while it’s a really tempting idea I think you’d need to have extra reasons to do it if it makes sense and at this point while both clinics offer it they don’t think its merited. But then again, I have no previous failures as i havent had IVF yet! I guess problem is it’s hard to ever establish if it actually made any difference!

Watching the most amazing and touching program..
Me, my brother and our balls..
it’s on bbc 1. So a British production... but it’s so fascinating to see a program informing men about their fertility and what effects it.. following these brothers and their journey to become dads... heartbreaking at times.. but to see how emotional they are is refreshing to see, I guess we only have experience of how this journey effects us..

@MaryShelley1818.. I'm ok thanks. Just trying to accept my DS will be an only. Feeling so grateful we have him. We have TTC on and off for so long I forget! I had him at 41 and that was my time to shine I guess!

Good luck and baby dust to all x

Thanks. I should point out I conceived at 43 and three quarters. Just to be accurate but hopefully it still provides hope. I'm not trying now, have not even discussed it with DH. I'm lucky to have my two but in honesty yearn for another. Wishing luck to all!

@PetraRabbit and @janed9388 great to hear you conceived naturally in your 40s. Thanks for sharing. I conceived my ds at 40 after two miscarriages and am hoping to try again early next year when my c section is healed up at nearly 42. I’m finding the mental preparation really hard now knowing a lot more about pregnancy loss and what can go wrong. It’s so different now I have my ds to think about. Still hopeful it will all be ok next time. I do try and make decisions out of hope not fear! Wishing everyone on this thread lots of luck! Xx

Hi

Can I join - I think I actually am already on here somewhere but I have had a couple of funny months.

I'm 42 and ttc no.3. I have had 2 CP in the last 6 months so am paranoid my eggs just aren't up to the job anymore. I'd given myself a deadline of my 43rd birthday which is about 6 months away. Feeling really quite negative about it all now as people around me keep announcing their pregnancies.

Only on CD7 at the moment.

@Namechanger0800

Hi all - was on this thread a few years ago but hope you don't mind me popping up again. Was lucky enough to have baby at just turned 42, conceived at 41 but did have a chemical, mc and blighted ovum from 39-41. DD now 10 mths and we are not using any contraception.

My cycles have been weird though and wanted some advice. Have been bleeding/spotting on what I think is ov day (testing and get ov pain) usually around day 9 but last few cycles have then had another bleed/spotting on day 14. This then coupled with spotting on and off for a week before AF. Cycle was 26 days but last few cycles is now 29 and that's when the day 14 spotting started. I had read about vitamin B50 helping with spotting week before period and this is my first cycle with that but still having spotting on day 14.

The other change since having baby is with sore boobs- I used to get them a few days after I ov and then it would ease when AF started- in fact I new I was pg when the boobs didn't get sore after OV but started getting sore at time AF was due.

Does this sound hormonal or dreaded peri- menopause? Am thinking it's prob not helping my chances at all - does anyone have any suggestions?

I'm 42 and had my DD when I was 40. Pre baby I used to get sore boobs straight after ovulation until AF but don't anymore. I wondered if it was peri-menopause or if breastfeeding had broken them (!)

I also dropped from a standard 28 day cycle to 26 although I had a longer 29 day cycle last month.

@kirinm thanks for your response - it's all confusing isn't it! I've been to my GP about the bleeding/spotting and specifically asked about the other things I thought might be hormonal issues. GP was adamant it wasn't hormonal or a sign of perimenopause because my periods were still in the regular range and I had no other more common symptoms, plus said 43 was young anyway for entering Peri. She was actually quite reassuring saying if I hadn't had any children then they'd do some tests as a bit of an unknown but as I had a baby just under a year ago she doesn't think there's anything else going other other than it can take a lot longer at my age and it is what it is.

I had a blood test recently for other issues so she checked that again and said thyroid is normal and everything else good. Had some swabs for infection but all clear and ultimately she is saying it's a cervical erosion causing the bleeding/spotting - completely harmless but annoying. So I felt assured by that and am back to thinking what will be will be and feeling more positive. I am 43 and lucky enough to have children incl. my lovely baby so perhaps being able to conceive at 41 after 2 mc I've had my time? Anyway- am giving it another 3 months or so and then reevaluating.

Still symptom spotting etc but trying not to

@Namechanger0800 although not had a baby recently I did have a m/c in May.. I've had spotting in 2 cycles managed to get a referral for an ultrasound from my gp.. waiting for a date and pooping it.. must step away from google