Starting TTC again after missed miscarriage part two

[SkyBlue20]

Following on for from this thread, for all of us battling TTC after a MMC:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3910275-Starting-TTC-again-after-missed-miscarriage?pg=1

How are we all this morning?

I'm so tired after my daughter was up 10pm-2:30am last night, honestly it was enough for me to question my sanity on having another, I think it tipped my husband over the edge! Was meant to get up early and go for a run first thing but no chance, only just eating my breakfast while working 🙈

@Poppy10121 I get the frustration, we conceived first cycle with my daughter and without activity trying with my MMC so thought it would happen quickly too. Guess our bodies need time to reset, i don't think my cycle is back to normal yet.

@Threnody sorry AF has arrived, on to the next cycle! When does a short LP become an issue?

@Threnody my luteal phase is also only 9 days - the latest in my catalogue of worries! Have you always had a 9 day luteal phase or is it since MMC?

@Workingmama1 that’s a good way of looking at it, that we are still resetting and just need to have patience. My cycle seems the same length but lighter and I have no idea about luteal phase/ovulation day compared to normal because I didn’t used to obsess over it... ah those carefree days.

ANOTHER friend announced their pregnancy on Facebook today. I sometimes feel like the only person I know who didn’t get pregnant in lockdown.

Started ovulation tracking with the ClearBlue advance this month so at least that’s something to do every day...

@Threnody sorry to hear that. Some wine & gins (or whatever your tipple is) over the weekend & a fresh start after.

@Poppy10121 @Workingmama1 we also conceived first cycle with DD & cycle 3 with the MMC, so I understand the feeling that it ‘should’ happen again quickly, but you have to keep perspective & remember even without a MC our bodies don’t necessarily work that way. We’re all extremely lucky to have conceived that quickly, I have friends who it took years despite no fertility issues, then they had MCs, then it took years again. They all have babies now which is amazing, but I constantly remind myself I have NO IDEA how hard it really is to try & try & try for a baby. Up to 6 months seems long for us, but in reality that’s really quick compared to many. Fingers crossed for us all!

Is it ‘bad’ to have a short luteal phase then? I’m new to all of this. But just ovulated on CD24, so now conscious AF will be quite late & likely come around CD36+ (based on my google that most women’s AF comes 12-16 days after ovulation). Seems like such a long cycle, so a shorter LP makes more sense.

Luteal phases are usually between 10-17 days, average is 12-14 days. I haven't tracked that many cycles, but my shortest was 6 days, longest 14, most are 9. Your luteal phase length is dictated by progesterone levels, when levels drop it triggers af, a short luteal phase may mean not enough time for the egg to implant.
Mine hasn't been a problem for conception, I've been pregnant 4 times, first attempt, but apparently low progesterone levels can cause miscarriage, so I was worried that may have been my problem.
I should probably stop worrying, since that's not going to help anything!

I'm also trying to prepare myself (and my husband)for it maybe taking longer to conceive again - I know how lucky I am that it's been so easy for me. I really assumed it wouldn't, my Mum took 4 years to conceive my sister, and my sister couldn't have children naturally, and adopted. I did all of the tracking on our first cycle and was so surprised.

AF still not here CD34, I'm getting impatient. I know the first cycle after MMC can be a bit off, but like all of us, I want it to get back to normal - for TTC and my own sanity. Irregular cycles make me feel anxious and that's the last thing anyone needs now! I don't feel it coming at all, no usual PMS. How annoying.

Threnody has already explained all about the short LP. I think unfortunately it might be one of those things that are a short-term legacy of MC. I had several cycles after my first MMC with shorter luteal phase, around 10 days. It's then gradually gone up to 11-12 and it tends to be around 12 days now. I have no idea if it's just self-regulated in time or if it's because I was eating healthy, exercising, lost a bit of weight and was taking Vit B complex religiously for several months. I really think this whole TTC thing is so random

Morning all!

@Threnody Sorry AF arrived 💕 Next month is a new month and a whole new chance - I'm sending positive vibes for your next cycle 💕

@Workingmama1 Urgh, sounds like an awful night's sleep! Hope the day flies by for you and your daughter sleeps tonight!

@Poppy10121 There do seem to be SO many people pregnant at the moment, more so than usual. Someone I know announced her pregnancy on FB yesterday, too and she hashtagged #rainbowbaby, which I thought was lovely - she obviously didn't want to talk about her loss directly but it was a nice nod and as someone who has suffered from loss, quite reassuring to see (though obviously really wish she hadn't been through that). It's her fourth child, all quite close in age, she's a braver woman than I 🙈

@PurplePansy05 Hope you get some answers soon, know how frustrating it is waiting and waiting and waiting!

On a half day at work today as off to help my dad with something this afternoon and so glad about it - I've not had a day off that wasn't for a hospital appointment or MVA recovery (for which I took a day plus the weekend) since February so even this half day feels good, even though I'm essentially going to work with my dad! Might take a random day soon just to go on a day trip or something.

@Poppy10121 I'm glad you feel encouraged by the BFP's and I’ve said this to you before but I know you will get yours soon. You're doing the right things; just have to give it a bit more time and you'll be in the other thread moaning like the rest of us before you know it! Plus I don’t know if it will help but look at it this way - you’re giving your body a chance to fully heal. There must be a reason some doctors say to wait 3 months after MC right?

@PurplePansy05 Do yours usually come by now after your MCs? I think it’s much more common to come around 6 weeks, but I know it’s annoying waiting around for AF so hope it arrives soon!

I feel you @Workingmama1 Why do you think I waited this long to try to have another!? I still wonder if I'm going to cope day-to-day. Sleep-wise, we never trained DS so he’s never been a great sleeper and sleeps late.

Spoke too soon! The witch is here!
Actually delighted, a 34-day cycle is not too bad after the MVA. @Sakura54 My period usually arrives 35-38 days after the MC, so this time no reason to complain. And fingers crossed it's a sign of some normality setting in soon, it was concerning for me that my body has been through so many ups&downs in a short space of time and that my recovery would be a lot longer now. But 🤞 it's not going to be the case. Big relief all round.

I'm off for a few days now which means I can enjoy my gin tonight and have some fabulous coffee or five from our local, I'm easily pleased! 😊

I might invest in OPKs for next month to see if I ovulate, I think I do. If so, then I'll be able to see if the date has moved. I guess even a slight change in the length of my cycle can affect it and tbh I can't really be bothered to have so much sex, so maybe a little helping hand 😂✋

@Threnody thank you, sometimes it feels like it's been ages ago and other days it still feels quite fresh. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!!

@SkyBlue20 stick around, though I hope it goes well forward without issues this time! Time will fly and you'll have your first scan - and hopefully you'll see your baby growing on it

@SkyBlue20 & @ALew15 Congratulations on the bfp's 🤞🤞🤞🤞

Morning all!

@PurplePansy05 Glad you have got some clarity with AF arriving and it seems normality is back in terms of your cycles.Hope you enjoyed your gin and coffees! Fully understand the OPKs so not have to have as much sex - I was tempted for my next cycle had it not happened on this one 😂

Thank you @Nyanya, that's so kind 💕 I'm so sorry about your MMC, mine was in March, too (also my first pregnancy) - it feels like yesterday in some ways but also like a lifetime ago in others, though it never really leaves you, does it? I'm wishing you so much luck on your TTC journey.

Thanks @JoJo58995 🥰

How's everyone doing today? xx

CD8 for me today and desperately trying to hold in a wee to do a an OPK in a bit.
Hoping my daughters teeth come through soon as she was up till 11pm and then woke at 2-3 again last night. Guessing I'm getting close to my FW and no idea how we'll be able to dtd if she keeps on like that! Have a banging headache and feel sick from being tired, if I hadn’t just had my period would be wondering if I am pregnant!

@SkyBlue20 how are you feeling? Has it sunk in yet?

Hope you managed to hold in that wee, @Workingmama1! Oh your poor daughter and poor you with that sleep schedule, hope she settles soon.
I’m ok, thank you for asking. Hasn’t really sunk in, no. We’re going to tell the mums tonight but I’m holding off making any medical appointments for a couple of weeks yet, after that it might feel more real. I’ve just been really busy, too, so kind of keep forgetting. Very happy but very cautious. We have, however, said that we can be pessimistic or we can be optimistic and regardless of which we choose, if the worst happens, it will devastate us anyway, so we may as well err on the side of optimism for now. Easier said than done though 🙈

Hello everyone,
I had miscarriage on April 6, it's been 3 cycles after my miscarriage. I am thinking to try now but worrysome is my cycles is getting shorter. First month it was 31 days long next month 28 days and this month 26 days, as per my ovulation and apps I will have 24 days cycle this time as I ovulated on 10th day. My periods were regular at 31days before MC.
So this decreasing cycle length is something I have to worry or is it quite normal. Please help me on this

Sorry @Shinea, I don't have much advice. Before my MC my cycles were between 25-27 days and was considered normal. Maybe it'll settle soon.

Today is CD15 for me and I don't think I've ovulated yet. Is that normal? I think I ovualted 2 weeks after my MC, (had CM) so I was excited by that but nothing this cycle. Maybe I just won't ovulate this month or it's coming later? My period was much longer than normal so maybe I just have a much longer cycle now. I didn't go to the doctor in the end about the black spotting. It stopped soon after I posted about it so didn't want to waste time/take the risk going to the surgery. I now have a really sore throat so think I might need antibiotics if it's strep-throat :(

@Nyanya and @SkyBlue20 I agree, it feels so recent, and yet I'm so impatient it also feels like such a long time.

@PurplePansy05 hope you enjoyed your drink, and fx for this cycle for you.

@Workingmama1 what was your opk result? Hope your daughter's teeth come through and you all get some sleep. I was up 3 times in the night with my daughter for various reasons (thirsty, bad dream, is it morning, can you turn the light on!), so very tired today.

@SkyBlue20 very good plan on the optimism!

Hi @Shinea, sorry for your loss. I'm afraid I don't know about short cycles. Mine have been getting a little bit shorter since the miscarriage (from 33 down to 29), but they're usually quite varied anyway, so I hadn't paid it much attention. I think if you are ovulating, and your luteal length isn't changing, it's probably ok, but maybe best to talk to your dr.

@LRboop I ovulate between CD18-21, which I think is quite late - it depends on what is normal for you really. Are you tracking or using opks? Sorry you are feeling ill, hope you feel better soon.

@Shinea Cycles between 21 and 35 days are considered normal I believe. It is also normal the length changes after the MC, this might be temporary. It's the lenght of the luteal phase that it's important so that the fertilised egg has enough time to implant. From what you're saying, yours is perfectly fine.

@LRboop That's also most likely fine, you may have a longer cycle. I have around 32-day cycles and ovulate between CD19 and 21. Don't worry just yet, things may still be a bit out of tune after your MC.

I'm having hell of a second day of AF, had to skip my C25K run again as I just can't exercise today. Fingers crossed for tomorrow!

How are we all today?

@Threnody Thanks, x-posted with you! Gin was lovely! How are you doing?

@PurplePansy05 That's good. I skipped my C25K run today as well, for the same reason! Just had a walk instead. Cramps are just ugh, and I'm still sad everytime af shows up as a reminder. Otherwise doing OK, thanks. Started taking extra vitamin c on top of what's in my prenatals, just in case it helps!

@Threnody and @PurplePansy05 my leutal phase is being 13 days always but I was bit worried if I ovulate on my 10th day will eggs be matured enough.
I checked with my doctor and she said it's quite normal

@Threnody oh no I hope she sleeps tonight! It took 1.5 hours of boob to get mine down tonight and I'm betting 50% chance of waking up in the night but having a gin to soften the blow!

@skyblue20 how did your mums react? I failed to hold the wee, got a 0% from that one on the Femometer app but did another one later and got high so things she moving in the right direction. Had more CM (though not egg white) today too.

@Shinea sorry for your loss. My cycles have been a bit shorter too, and think a few of the other ladies have experienced the same. It's really surprised me as I'm still breastfeeding so thought they would be longer.

Morning all, hope everyone’s doing okay. For those worrying about shorter & messed up cycles, I seem to have the opposite. Didn’t ovulate till CD24, and yesterday/today (CD28/29), I’ve started spotting, so pretty sure AF is on her way. That said I’ve spotted randomly throughout since the MVA on 15th May (see pic, red dots are spotting, the 2 red squares is proper bleeding - so only 2 days of proper period, and was very light). Very odd but will see what happens with AF & hope it stops next cycle. As we all say again & again the MC’s obviously mess us all up, just in different ways.

@Starfish762 I had this kind of bleeding/spotting after in my first AF after MC. I had spotting for almost 15 days alternatively then periods for 4 days which appeared again from 7th day.
My doctor said that's quite normal as your estrogen level decreases after MC bleeding decreases she said.
But after 3 cycles my periods are quite regular and consistent for 5 days but as I said earlier I have shorter cycle length now.
Guess it will settle down with time :)

Morning all! Hope everyone is doing well. I had a few bad days this week but I finally spoke to the counselling service yesterday and waiting to hear from the person they've assigned me to for 6 sessions starting next week, so I am feeling positive that I am taking some control and working on my mental as well as physical health to be more resilient next time.

@Starfish762 You're completely right of course, conception is not usually something you can just decide to do one month, and I need to get out of that mindset. I'm going to do ovulation tracking this month and then I might have a couple of months off the obsession and just see what happens (unless this month gives me a different ovulation date to expected, then I'll probably fall in a Google hole again!)

@Threnody it's reassuring that you have conceived successfully before with similar luteal phase to me. I sometimes wish I hadn't started reading up on all this stuff, there are so many factors to worry about if you set your mind to it! Sorry that this wasn't your month either, I have fingers crossed for us both for next time!

@PurplePansy05 Enjoy some days of drinking and eating whatever you like this weekend!

@Nyanya I'm sorry you are in the same boat, sending you lots of luck and hoping that not too much patience is required!

@Shinea my cycles haven't quite settled after MMC yet (in April) and my doctor said that it can take a few months, I've also noticed through ovulation tracking that things have been happening on different CDs still so I think it can take a while to settle. But if you are worried you could speak to your doctor?