TTC 12 months buddies please

[Whilstwewait]

Hi,

We have just hit the 12 month mark of TTC and looks like AF is on the way I am on another thread that's really supportive but I do find it disheartening when people get positives on the first couple of cycles of trying. So thought I'd start a thread for anyone around about the year mark. It'll be good to share things and get advice from people who are at a similar stage to me. Im 34 and my husbands 36. We are TTC number 1 x

@Whilstwewait, I recommend a "gin no tonic" which I do, slimline tonic and squeeze half a lime in over ice, tastes exactly like a gin and tonic to me! I am doing ok, trying to focus on other things as we have stopped "trying " now but i don't actually think I've ovulated this month anyway. I'm putting my weight loss first ready for our wedding at the moment, could only help fertility matters in the long run as well. Fiance has his SA on 3rd September and I've been told we'll be referred to sub fertility after that.

@Whilstwewait thanks, seems promising to me too! It was actually on 9 DPO! 🤞🏼erm no, my cycles seem the same I think but I feel more relaxed so that's good. Oh definitely will be peace of mind with the scan, I'm glad things are moving forward. Still haven't had the letter for the fertility clinic though so will chase that up if AF starts this week.
Are you having acupuncture? If so, do you think the acupuncture could make you ovulate earlier this month? Xx

Hi, can I join? This seems like a really supoortive group of ladies and that's what I'm in need of! Currently on our 12th month TTC baby number 1. Both me and my husband are 34 years old. Had SA, bloods and ultrasound with no massive issues found. GP wants us to consider trying for a few more months before referral to fertility clinic. I'm not sure what to do for the best.

Hii sorry ive been quiet ive felt rubbish all weekend, just needed some me time,
@Whilstwewait so glad to hear the ball is rolling with the fertility clinic hopefully things happen quick for you 🤞🤞 sounds like acupuncture could be working for you

Morning, how is everyone?

I am approx 12DPO and I took an IC this morning and got a BFN. 😔 I also took a pregnancy test on my CBFM and got a BFN (which would've been expected either way as it only detects HCG from 50 mIU/ml).

AF arrived so into month 15 for me 😳😳 honestly never in a million years thought it would take so long

@Fran2020 sorry about bfn :(

@Fran2020 sorry to hear about that. Its so tough when you don't test for a while as you get your hopes up a bit. You're still not out till AF shows though.

@Annny27 I know the feeling. I remember all the way back in cycle one saying to my DH "that's crazy, we just made a baby!" (We had not). If only it was as easy as everyone pretends it is.

@Jellybean8 hi! The waiting lists are so long at the moment I'd push forward with it now and by the time your appointment comes it will be a few months down the line. We waited a couple of months after month 12 as we were moving house then Covid happened, so now we're on month 20 and still waiting for an appointment!

I think today I might have ovulated on CD14 - which has never happened for me. I'm not "due" to ovulate until Thu/Fri (and getting a massage tomorrow to help me relax/aid ovulation). I think having come off my other medications has had an impact. Let's see if it's been worth it 🤞

@PlanBea hahaha love that. Yep I was basically cradling my belly 1dpo on our first cycle 😂😂😂 I think it doesn't help that alot of people come off contraception like 6 months before they "officially" try a different they only count the time from when they were "properly trying" when really if you arent using contraception you are trying haha!

When we eventually get our rainbow i will be very open and honest with people as to how long it took us!

@Annny27 thank you! If AF arrives, I will be in cycle 15 too.

@PlanBea thank you! Really tough 😔 true!if AF arrived this month, I think it'll hit me hard as I've had some interesting symptoms this month. I hope coming off the medication does help you!

Morning all 😊

So today's the day we get OH further test results looking into his low count 😬 counting down the hours until we get our phone consult!

Can I join, ladies? Cycle 20-something for me. I had four failed IUIs, during the last one they said I'm likely not ovulating all the time, but only sometimes. I had a chemical in March, so I ovulated clearly at least once. It's weird though because my cycles are very regular. Also found out that my body doesn't absorb progesterone suppositories. Now I just started ivf journey, on my second week of birth control. After two years, it's definitely my only option.

Hi @KatBeCool welcome. Sorry you find yourself here as well i have my first consultation with a clinic on Friday considering going private we are only 15 months trying at moment but im 34 and just not doing my mental health any good. Good luck with your first cycle

I've cried twice in last 24 hours girls. Im so stressed. I feel im always going 110 miles an hour at the moment. Work is really stressful and I've found out today i have a job interview Thursday so now a mad panic to prepare

Last night we DTD but my husband couldn't finish and i ended up crying saying i don't want sex anymore. I was so tired and felt poorly and was so fed up of only having sex because of ovulation. I'm also fed of doing acupuncture ,vitamins and everything when whats the point if no sperm there. Bless him we always get there in the end i was just over it

For those who asked before had my gynaecology appointments today. Basically i need a pelvic scan which NHS still arent doing (I could pay £85 private but would need to travel 2 hours)and also my tubes need testing which they also aren't doing anywhere. Once both done if no issues found we will be referred to fertility clinic but they wont do anything for 12 months and the 12 months dont start until ive had both tests done and one you still cant even get done. So bit pointless really. My spotting before my period could be a polyp so scan would confirm and may need that removed but also could be completely normal. My FSH test is just high end of normal at 9.8. Nationally they like it under 10 but some clinics under 8.9. So my body may be having to try harder to release an egg. But she said im not too old yet i still have plenty of time. Think we will go private though. Just for our mental health really

@Hayley19835 how did you get on?

@Fran2020 how you getting on? Think acupuncture will take me back to day 18 from 20 so that's good for now

Sorry girls if I've forgotton anymore. I haven't even had chance to pee today apart from on an ovulatio stick haha

Well we didn't get good news. Seems IVF is now our only option which as OH already has a child from a previous relationship we have to fund ourselves and right now that's not an option.
They want to repeat his SA again for a third time I'm not sure what they are expecting to see and then talk to us again in 2 months at which point she'll point is in the direction of clinics in our area that can help us further. I'm just feeling like life is pretty unfair at the minute as they can't give us a definitive answer as to why his SA is so bad as everything else came back normal. I'm trying to stay strong as OH feels awful as he is the issue but inside my heart is breaking 💔

@Hayley19835

Well we didn't get good news. Seems IVF is now our only option which as OH already has a child from a previous relationship we have to fund ourselves and right now that's not an option. They want to repeat his SA again for a third time I'm not sure what they are expecting to see and then talk to us again in 2 months at which point she'll point is in the direction of clinics in our area that can help us further. I'm just feeling like life is pretty unfair at the minute as they can't give us a definitive answer as to why his SA is so bad as everything else came back normal. I'm trying to stay strong as OH feels awful as he is the issue but inside my heart is breaking 💔

Oh @Hayley19835 😢😢

@Whilstwewait - it's so hard when things are stressful and it does affect mental health let alone the rollercoaster each cycle. I sympathise with you as trying makes mental health worse but it's something you really want to, it's an awful circle. How awful for you you've got some much going on and it's frustrating when there's things that can be done but aren't or need to pay for.
@Hayley19835 that's so frustrating isn't it as you don't have any of your own, I hope a solution comes up, would a crowdfund be something you could consider?

Lots of hugs to everyone!

So I'm pretty sure my pre-AF spotting has started this afternoon. I've had very small amounts of light brown or pinky brown when I've wiped. Which is pretty standard for me before AF. I know I'm not out until AF properly arrives but I'm pretty sure it will arrive now. I had a cry earlier as I was so hopeful this month and had lots of promising signs. 😔

@KatBeCool Welcome to the group! Really sorry to hear about the challenges you've experienced. Wishing you all the luck for your IVF journey.

@Whilstwewait I totally agree with everything you wrote. I'm 33 and TTC for 14 months now and my mental health is really suffering. I've cried a few times today too. I totally get what you're saying about DTD. I can't imagine how difficult it is with your husband. That's frustrating about the scan, I don't understand why the NHS is saying different things all over the UK. It makes no sense. That's good about the acupuncture. Pretty sure AF is going to start in next couple days due to my spotting 😔 But if it does come, I can call hospital to arrange my ultrasound.

@Hayley19835 I'm really sorry to hear that 😔❤️ Make sure you both look after each other xx

@Hayley19835 so sorry to hear that. Is it his count that is low or another problem? Please don't discount IVF privately. From my research its not as expensive as you think, especially if you can get a lot of tests done on NHS. I think ABC fertility do naturally modified IVf for about 2k. The clinic we are choosing is 3k for IVF but need medication and tests on top. Many do multi cycles. I think I priced 2 cycles with as many frozen transfers as required for about 10k. I know it is a lot of money for many but may be worth a loan for one cycle. Also cbeck out access fertility they offer deals and you can use them to get IVf in many different clinics. Give yourself a few days to process everything ❤

@kerrym87 thanks for your kind words. I've never suffered with mental health before but TTC is definitely testing me. Just one of them months when everything is busy it really doesn't help. I have acupuncture tomorrow so hopefully relax me a bit

@Fran2020 sorry. Its so bloody shit isnt it but we are in it together and surely we have to get some positives on here soon. We are definitely due some. I see so many people get their positives cycle 17 ,18 etc it really can happen. Although doesn't feel it. Its mad how some places are doing scans and some not. Its stupid they really need to start them up soon. So unfair when we can go to a pub and not get a scan. The lady today told me i still have plenty of time and im 34 nearly 35 so maybe we should both stop worrying about age. Got my Amh test result Friday so hoping that's positive and will stop me worrying xx

@Whilstwewait yea so he has a low count 3mill but his motility is shocking so that's what are problem is but they cant find any obvious reason why which is even more heart breaking.
We had a chat about using doner sperm a while back and he was keen on that idea so we might look into that. For now I'm just trying to process that I'll never conceive naturally it's such a blow xx

@Whilstwewait I hope you're feeling a bit better today. TTC is such a headfuck. It's always on my mind, always. Then to be stopped by covid still is painful. It sounds like you're really informed on private IVF. Would you consider doing the testing privately for your tubes? In the scheme of things it can't be much money and at least a fertility specialist would be able to give you some advice while you do private IVF if you decide to go down that route

@Hayley19835 oh, that sounds awful! Poor you. Fertility is so focused on women I don't know whether there's much info for improving sperm motility naturally. He has managed it once though, I wonder if with a bit of help he can manage it again?

@Fran2020 sorry to hear you're spotting. While it sucks, sometimes it makes the heartache of AF a bit less when she does appear. Though the wait to start the next cycle when you know you're out but don't have CD1 is almost as bad as the TWW.

I've made the mistake of deciding this cycle is the one. I ovulated on Saturday (CD12! Thata so early for me!) So AF is due on the 29th. Our wedding anniversary is the 1st. I've already imagined handing over a positive test wrapped up as an anniversary gift. I know this is almost certainly going to lead to disappointment but I'm too far down this rabbit hole. I think coming off my medication has made a huge difference. I've been off it mostly for about 6 weeks and I have ovulated twice in that time, which is as much as I ovulated in the previous year.

I had an interesting appointment with the pain management clinic yesterday, and I'm being referred to a geneticist for testing to see if my fibromyalgia is actually EDS. As there's a genetic component to it the consultant thinks it would be beneficial to know if that was going to be something to consider while we're TTC. Either way at the moment I'm avoiding the painkillers and feeling rough most days, but it'll be worth it if I get a BFP.

Hope it all works out for you @PlanBea!
I wanted to do similar as our first wedding anniversary is on Monday and I'm due on tomorrow. Took a test today and bfn so no such luck for me! Onto cycle 13 we go! Had day 21's back tho and all is normal. Got day 3's in for Friday and Dh has SA tomorrow. We'll soon have answers hopefully...

@PlanBea

I've made the mistake of deciding this cycle is the one. I ovulated on Saturday (CD12! Thata so early for me!) So AF is due on the 29th. Our wedding anniversary is the 1st. I've already imagined handing over a positive test wrapped up as an anniversary gift. I know this is almost certainly going to lead to disappointment but I'm too far down this rabbit hole. I think coming off my medication has made a huge difference. I've been off it mostly for about 6 weeks and I have ovulated twice in that time, which is as much as I ovulated in the previous year.

I had an interesting appointment with the pain management clinic yesterday, and I'm being referred to a geneticist for testing to see if my fibromyalgia is actually EDS. As there's a genetic component to it the consultant thinks it would be beneficial to know if that was going to be something to consider while we're TTC. Either way at the moment I'm avoiding the painkillers and feeling rough most days, but it'll be worth it if I get a BFP.

🙋‍♀️ hi fellow fibro / eds person 🦓

I hope to do similar ish as its our 5th anniversary on the 6th and that's when I'm due on but think it's a massive long shot with us waiting for repeat SA results

@claireb707 hello fellow zebra! I've been on NSAIDs for the last 4-ish years, high dose twice a day. When I asked if it interferes with ovulation I've been told no, but now I've come off them I've ovulated twice already. Might be something to check out for you?

@notyetamumbuttrying was it a FRER? It's still a possibility until AF arrives. I had thought I'd be able to do the same trick in January when we got the keys to our house. I know it made AF even harder to deal with but we need some kind of joy to look forward to or the entire process would be miserable!

@Annny27 good luck! Hopefully the stars align and September is the month for all of us! 🤞 It certainly would be nice to get some more BFPs in this group!