TTC first baby thread 25

[Annny27]

hi ladies,

Setting up a new thread for all of us ttc our first baby!

Will tag all the names I can remember from top of my head (I.e easy to spell haha)

@kiza
@lozzlepop
@orangeloo
@lottiepink
@timswifey
@XjustagirlX
@lizzie198

Graduates:
@whatsthecraic91

13dpo and spotting now so onto month 20? Who knows ;p

@orangeloo excellent news :D :D will the end of feb be the start of the ivf or will it be a little bit after that?

@thislittlebird its rubbish isnt it when it takes so long! Yeah its good to get tested privately if nhs wait is too long! I am 29 so have some time I guess so I am not overly concerned with the nhs wait times although if its ridiculous like a year then I am definitely going private!!

@Annny27 yeah I would be less panicked if I wasn’t 37 already. But here we are, can’t turn back the clock but I do wish I’d decided to try a few years earlier. I took the trying time for granted, I guess.

I would definitely go the nhs route initially if I had a few more years but I’ll see what the private clinic says in a few weeks and go for there. Hopefully good results will come back from the tests!

@thislittlebird yes exactly I wish I had started at 25 but there's no way you can turn back time so no point dwelling!

My period arrived today on 16dpo so onto the next cycle 😭😭

How is everyone doing? Had my partners 2nd sperm analysis through which showed an improvement on all results which is good :D hopefully one of those meets my egg this month haha

@MIW01 sorry to hear you're in such a bad place emotionally and have so much going on. Have you considered some counselling as an outlet?

@Annny27 that's great news that your partners SA has improved. On the ivf thread I'm on there's lot of women with MFI and some of their partners have been put on medication I've never heard of such as Impril and Clomid 🤷🏼‍♀️

@orangeloo great news.. would the next appointment be your treatment planning appointment?

So my IVF journey has been emotional, I was on long protocol and scan showed I only have 6 follicles left, of those only 2 responded to stims, of those 2 only 1 produced an egg 😩 we felt so deflated. However that 1 egg fertilised and turned into a top grade day 2 embryo and was put back inside me today! Which is also DP birthday! So happy after such initial devastating news and grateful the hospital proceeded as often they cancel the cycle if there are less than 4 follicles stimulated.
So now in the oh so wonderful 2WW with twice daily progesterone suppositories to give me all the pregnancy symptoms and mess with my mind 😆

Hi everyone,

Sorry for my slow reply. I’m in that stage where I can find no end to things to read on the internet about PCOS and overwhelm my brain with!
Perhaps I was a bit niaive - few more hoops to jump through and queues to get in for chlomid it seems :( At least I’ve got myself in the clue though, as DH keeps telling me.
In the meantime though, still no AF!

Fingers and toes crossed for you @Kiza!

Morning :)

Wow that sounds like a tough journey for you @kiza and what a rollercoaster of emotions! I am so pleased you now are in the most important and exciting TWW! When will you be testing?

Yep my boobs felt so sore and big when I was taking progesterone suppositories!

Did they do ICSI in the end?

@acciobaby sorry no sign of AF of ovulation:( could you go to a private gynaecologist to prescribe clomid if financws allow?

@Annny27 test date seems aaagges away on 5th Feb so a good 16 days since EC. No symptoms from the progesterone so far but it's only been 4 days. Yep they ICSI'd it

@acciobaby have you tried accupuncture for PCOS? Maybe someone who specialises in fertility?

@Annny27 good news on the SA fingers crossed for you

@Kiza that it truly is a roller coaster. Hope the tww isn't treating you too bad. Yes progesterone gave me all the symptoms!!Fingers crossed for you lovely.

@Kiza @Annny27 I'm not sure if next appointment is planning appointment. Everything is done but I don't know if they'll have an appointment in between. I feel like it will be a March or April start.

I thought I was totally over trying naturally and I am but this month we DTD at roughly the right time but I'm not using OPK's now. Well in the run up to AF - I of course had symptoms and thought it could be possible but of course it wasn't. It just reminded me that this journey will have messed with me forever I think. Any dtd around the time I will always think what if? and us long term ttc ers can't help but be so aware of our bodies any natural surprises are out the window. We will always know roughly when ovulation is and when are periods are due. Any potential baby making will never be a completely innocent surprise. If I'm ever that lucky.

Thanks @Annny27 they only offer talking therapy ad I've already tried that and discovered CBT is not right for me. Can't afford anything privately (including fertility treatment).

Sorry to hear IVF journey so emotional @Kiza

@thislittlebird and @Annny27 my family are fertility factories so no reason to believe we'd have any issues TTC absolutely devastated we are going through this. No reason to consider age a factor and consultant said to me nothing wring with being 35. No funds saved because didn't anticipate this at all. NHS need to get their act together!

I'm testing with OPKs again and bought clear blue digital in hope we can ensure timing is right.

So had HyCoSy in November on CD10 and consultant also performed endometrial scratch. That cycle was 26 days, then next cycle was 35 (usually 28 days on the dot). Did OPKs and Ovulate on CD19 so had 21 day progesterone done on CD26 instead and was normal! So glad about that. I think HyCoSy disrupted cycles a bit and have read that is quite a common occurrence. I am just hoping HyCoSy and endometrial scratch will improve chances of conception so am going all out on TTC from this cycle onwards.

@MIW01 did your consultant say much else about age? I’m so worried about having left it so late. We started trying when I was 36 and it felt like enough time, especially when all my friends were conceiving in a few months, some older than me.

My sisters have a lot of kids between them and (they’re older than me) even their kids have a few kids but it did take my sister and my mum a while to conceive their first. My sister needed clomid to conceive her first and then she had a few more after without the clomid.

In my head I’ve kinda discounted the nhs option for now because it’s taking me so long to get a referral. Two months waiting to redo a test because my periods have gone haywire (and much lighter, which is also stressing me out ) before they can refer me (and then presumably months of waiting). Private AMH test and scan is this week and consultation next week so I’m bricking it a bit, but fingers crossed they’re good.

What was the scratch for? Just to increase chances? I feel so lacking in knowledge on all this still, hoping it just works in the next few months because I’d rather not go this route but hey ho.

I bought a clear blue fertility monitor and started using that as well as temping this month. So far it tells me “high” every day but I read it can do that for the first month, hoping it improves next month. I think I may ovulate a bit later so hoping to work that out if my body cooperates.

Forgot to add...did you give the CBT a try @MIW01?

Hello @thislittlebird so the consultant explained that, although traditionally throughout history women started families much younger, they continued to have children well into their late 30s & 40s even, basically until menopause happened! Because before modern medicine infant mortality rates were much higher so big families of 10 + children was common. So what he was saying was that it is still a perfectly reasonable age to have a baby at 35 or 40, it's just if there were underlying fertility issues, they would have been left unknown a lot longer.

There's a lot of controversy about endometrial scratch but basic premise is they slightly damage the lining which triggers it to repair itself and therefore supports implantation chances. HyCoSy is meant to flush out tubes so increase chances due to that.

I did my first round of CBT back in 2012 and had 2 other sessions since then. The last one in 2016. I found the whole thing incredibly patronising and unhelpful but I've been told that's all the NHS will offer. Though 1 of these sessions was part of my ME 'treatment' which is just not the right approach for ME in mine and many others with the conditions opinion. ME is not caused by unhelpful thought and negative thinking, it's a neurological condition. Thankfully, there's been a few developments since then to address this by NICE. So, I think my opinion of CBT is somewhat tainted by that. Also, it's too much of a one size fits all approach. The medical profession need to recognise different people respond differently to different things.

@MIW01 I wholeheartedly agree with you regarding mental health and emotional therapeutic support from the nhs. I work as a psychotherapist within the Nhs and chose to work in CAMHS rather than adults as we can be much more flexible in CAMHS offering a variety of approaches and there is no timescale.
I know that there are some non-nhs therapy services that offer means tested or low income therapy, some as low as £5 per session, but it would be a matter of researching these and where they are. Also a number of us are still seeing people face to face where possible.

There are also charities that offer free counselling- particularly related to miscarriage or infertility, again you would need to research your area though.
I really hope you find some beneficial therapeutic support that you connect with.

Hello @Kiza thank you. That's really interesting that you work in CAMHS I used to be a research assistant and that was part of what I was researching. It's fascinating and sad that the system is so strained. All the professionals I spoke to were doing a tremendous job with so little resource. I considered going down this road myself but with the ME it was just too much (I had to give up teaching and that was a major factor in my decision, very sad).

I think my mental health is really adversely affected by all the external factors atm. If it was one or a few things, I could handle it OK I think. It really is the bombardment of so many stressful triggering things at once in both my work and personal life thats cumulated and led to me struggling. I feel I have no respite from it as there's also issues with not being able to enjoy my hobbies and downtime for one reason or another. So it is a case of there always being something 24/7. I think I'm being as resilient as possible and as soon as there is some let up in the situation I will start to feel better!

That’s good they were positive and I agree, I didn’t think it would be a problem but I guess now my fear @MIW01 is that I have underlying ~something~ but hopefully not. It would be nice to know there’s no obstacle but I’ll find out soon. Have your results been good so far? I saw you say you’re waiting for clomid. I don’t know if that’ll be an option for me yet but if it is I’ll be happy to try it.

I’ve seen endometrial scratch listed as an item you can pay for with ivf on the fertility clinic price list and briefly googled it before but didn’t realise they’d do it like that, interesting.

I have to agree about the CBT. Don’t get me wrong, it was useful for teaching me some exercises when I’m really suffering with my anxiety (which is a lot lately) but it didn’t do much more than that, which is not enough for a lot of people.

I have been struggling with my mental health with ttc + everything else and it feels particularly hard because there’s no escape right now. It’s a shame there’s not more available, but I hope you can find a therapy of some kind and might feel better soon.

When I looked online I did see the local nhs service say they offer more than CBT for infertility but I didn’t look any further into it because I thought I’d wait a bit longer before I went that route.

Sorry ladies haven't had a chance to look st threads recently!

@kiza any symptoms or side affects or the cyclogest? I am hoping and praying for you (or putting positive thoughts into the universe - whatever suits your beliefs best ✨✨🙏🙏)

@MIW01 yep I have had talking therapies before and didn't find it very useful either.....! It might be worth speaking to your gp and saying you have had CBT and it doesn't suit your needs and ask if there's anything else they can offer?

@orangeloo 100% I will know exactly when I ovulate so no "whoops" babies for us.....well not on my part anyway haha. It may seem like a whoops to my husband 🤣🤣

@thislittlebird yep my aunties and cousin (older) had babies in their late 30s :D

Sorry to hear talking therapy wasn't helpful for you @Annny27 I've asked and been told that's all the NHS can offer. We are unfortunately in this perpetual culture of patient blaming when it comes to such things!

@thislittlebird they haven't found anything wrong with either of us and just putting it down to stress. We both live a relatively healthy lifestyle. I'm a bit cross about the Clomid as told I could just ring up to get it in new year but tried several times to get through and nothing just got a random telephone appointment for March! Not what I was expecting. I don't think it'll help much anyway as no ovulation issues found.

So we are going all out atm TTC. I'm temping, now doing One Step and clear blue advanced digital OPKs, checking CM . . . Hopefully reducing the stress factor! Fingers crossed it happens for us soon.

Dis they tell you could have the clomid despite ovulation issues @MIW01? I’m not sure if I have ovulation issues or not yet and in the back of my mind I’m hoping clomid is an option we can try. Have you had any luck getting it yet?

We went all out too! I’m temping and I have used a clear blue fertility monitor for the first time this month and I got my peak which was exciting (OPKs never worked for me). We also dtd every day for seven days in a row leading up to the ovulation day so I’m hoping it will increase our chances. Also just went for a transvaginal scan and they saw my recently ovulated egg, so the temping/monitor/scan all seem to agree on timing.

*despite no ovulation issues I mean

Hello @thislittlebird yes they did because unfortunately it took so long for them to put my referral through that I am no longer eligible for funding for IVF through the NHS and that's the only thing I can get on the NHS! That whole fiasco is absolutely disgusting I was misinformed for over 18 months about it. The area I was in stops funding at 35. I turned 35 in September and wasn't contacted by the infertility team until October to be told you have to have started treatment before 35, not been referred like I was told by My GP!

Omg @MIW01, that’s so awful. 35 is a young cut off, especially these days, seems so harsh. What was the 18 month delay, waiting for the referral? It’s ridiculous. I ended up going for private tests and consultation because getting a referral is taking so long. Had tests in the summer but they never told us there was a problem (there was, with my 21 day test and some questions about his SA). They didn’t bother to tell us and just told us they were fine, then I did some digging months later when we hadn’t had a BFP and it turns out they were not “fine”. I was furious that I didn’t find out until I especially requested the breakdown of results in December. It’s a really subpar service that they need to improve, it’s not fair that that it’s a bit of a postcode lottery.

Looking for some help! If yesterday (Wednesday) was my strongest lines on OPK would that mean today was my ovulation day and tomorrow is 1dpo??

Hello,
I'm new to this. Myself and hubby are TTC for our first baby so all is very new to me

So sorry to hear that @thislittlebird you would expect if you were paying for it to receive better service! So initially when I had an ultrasound they thought they found a polyp so I was referred for a hysteroscopy. Then while I was waiting for that I was diagnosed with diabetes and they wouldn't put me under anaesthetic as my blood sugar levels were too high so I had to wait then covid happened. So I ended up waiting over 6 months for a hysteroscopy to then be told they didn't find a polyp anyway amd everything looks really healthy! It took so long that then all our blood tests and SAs were out of date so we had to repeat those. And we're in this perpetual cycle of repeating tests because everything takes so blooming long! I first walked into the GPS office aged 33. I will be 36 September this year. I'm absolutely furious! And as soon as I have the energy I will be taking it to our MP etc.