First time TTC - help please!! Any one else TTC for their first time?

[BeeR2009]

Hi everyone,

Me and my husband have made the decision to try for a baby - we had a talk last month after I thought I might be pregnant (we weren't actively trying) and after 12 years together feel that now is the right time.

I'm feeling really excited and a little nervous - I know it may take a while and I just want to be as prepared as possible and be doing as many of the right things as I can.

What do people recommend for trying to get pregnant? Is anyone else in the same boat and would like to keep in touch/progress?

I'm due to finish AF in around 2 days and due to ovulate around 28th according to my tracker app - I've got folic acid and vitamin D arriving tomorrow that I can start taking, what else can I be doing to prepare as much as possible? I know it sounds silly, but do we just start 'trying' as soon as my period is over?

Look forward to speaking to you all soon!

Thanks,

Bee x

They are so lucky @Peach1204!!
Hi @Summertime1992 I use Flo and found it accurate but started using ov sticks to make sure as always struggled detecting the egg white cm. it did match up so what I do is poas the day before ov is due according to Flo so that I'm not burning through sticks! I use the CB ones which are expensive but best on the market. My minds at rest then that I'm not missing ov day.

@Peach1204 thanks, my current place barely offers above SMP as it is. I do get a small maternity package above SMP but like most places I’d have to go back for 3 months and that fills me with more dread than not having the small additional maternity pay. I did a bit of a calculation on the gov.uk website and if we got lucky in the first month (and the baby wasn’t premature) we’d just be covered by SMP, so marginally worse than If I stayed in my current job but at least. If we time it wrong, we’ll work it out I’m sure... we’ve got expenses we can cut plus some savings from our cancelled holiday (guess there’s a small upside to covid). Tbh though, I’m not holding out much hope. I’m not exaggerating when I say I’ve been applying for years. I’m in a really niche, technical area and my confidence has taken a real hit. I’ve said to DH if I don’t get this job, we’re going hell for leather on TTC, not spending the additional money and I’m not going back. I want to keep working but I have absolutely no idea what I’ll do... If I’m not googling something baby related I’m googling how to retrain as something.

@summeritme1992 I had the implant years ago. It was my first and only try with hormonal birth control. I think it’s very marmite. My friend absolutely loves it, she’s on her fourth I think. I barely made it halfway through mine before I went to the doctors and begged them to take it out. In that time, my hormones were so out of sync that the doctors had prescribed me two different lots of the contraceptive pill to try and calm my hormones because they were all over the place.

@Summertime1992 hi! I use Flo and it's been accurate for me in terms of my cycle so hope it works for you too. Xxx

@RaspberryToupee Mat pay is so poor isn't it?! I'm only entitled to the norm too. I didn't realise how bad paternity was until recently so hoping to use holiday instead. I hope you find a job you will love soon. It's not nice having to go to work where you're not happy. Xxx

@BeeR2009 I will have to give them a try next month if nothing happens this month. I have looked at them and they do seem good.

@RaspberryToupee I know I left mine in for three years (because am lazy) but I was bleeding for 2-3 weeks and then periods every 4-6 weeks so was on a period as much as I was off a period - very annoying, but I also know people that do not bleed at all so depends on how your body reacts.

@Peach1204 Hi Thanks, I have my fingers crossed. I know its unlikely but would be ideal if I could conceive sooner rather than later with how my holidays correlate with maternity .

Hi ladies,

Is it too late to join the party? My partner and I have recently started TTC. It's been about 3 months. I'm currently using FLO but my periods have been irregular, so every time I'm a week late (like this month) I get super excited and look at baby things - then the witch comes along lol.

I haven't started using ovulation strips because I can imagine myself going a little crazy if I do. It's a shame these apps can't be more reliable.

Is there any other way of knowing you're ovulating without urinating on a stick or checking your basal temperature? Quite a few people have said you're more like to TTC when you're not charting but more relaxed. I'm actually considering this month to not look at the app but just go with the flow.

@Peach1204 thanks Paternity pay is awful. DH doesn’t get anything, he would get the statutory paternity amount for his two weeks. He’s on a pretty decent wage and in normal times would be able to do holiday buy back for up to 5 days. He worked it out that holiday buy back would cost him about £80 per month. Not ideal but doable. If he took statutory paternity pay for two weeks he’d lose about £500 in that month. So it is cheaper for him in the long run to do statutory paternity leave but that’s a big hit when you’ve just had a baby! Unfortunately, DH’s work aren’t letting him accrue much holiday due to coronavirus but he has been there for years so he has a generous holiday entitlement so hopefully he’ll still have some left. Otherwise the other added benefit of a cancelled covid holiday would be that he’s got loads of leave that needs using.

@summertime1992 thankfully my periods weren’t that long but I seemed to have a period every 10-14 days with spotting in between. It would only last a few days but it was really unpredictable. The thing that did me in though was the mood swings and how much I was crying. I think the straw that broke the camels back was when I had to pull over on my drive to work (really busy dual carriageway way) because the news mentioned a story about a baby dying and I cried so much I literally couldn’t see. It took me 20 minutes to get myself under control enough to drive again.

@Peach1204 sorry, got my numbers wrong! DH would lose about £1000 on SPP for two weeks. Buying back 5 days over the year would be £960. That’s SPP at 10 days and buy back at 5, so they’re comparable. Holiday buy back is certainly easier to manage in the monthly expenses though!

Hi @FairyLights2 👋🏻

I'm a bit the same, I'm tempted to read up more about ovulation strips and tracking but reckon I'll go a little crazy too! The whole point of my P.C. app was just to monitor periods but I found myself checking it all the time last month to see which days were best.

I couldn't be sure I was even ovulating after just coming off the pill, but now I have AF I at least know I was - just can't be 100% sure when!

Any advice from you ladies with experience using opks etc would be fab! X

@Daffodil21 of course it counts! Hope we can all get out soon so you can see your new home more! 😘

@notyetamumbuttrying, agree with the others here in that yes, it's just us ladies with age! We have a time limit on reproduction, whereas men can have children until goodness knows when!

@RaspberryToupee hope you find a job that you love soon!

Welcome @Summertime1992 and FairlLights2! 😃
I'm not totally clued up re: ovulation symptoms (I have so much reading to do! 🙈) but I believe checking your cervical mucus is a good indicator! it's also been suggested to make sure you're DTD every 2-3 days anyway to increase chances!

@Summertime1992 🤞🏻 we were going to start in September so booked loads of things to do before then purely because I didn't want to be at a concert/theatre and chucking up! Due to Covid everything has now been cancelled or moved to next year so we decided we might as well try now. I'm just coming off period no 2 after being on the pill for 11 years so hoping it is sooner rather than later too. Xxx

@M4v3r1ck I have a lot of reading up to do too! Just read up about cervical mucus (I did wonder how on earth I was meant to track that on the app!) and it seems like a relatively easy way at home to check without having to buy and wait for kits etc. Will maybe give that a go this month! Wow there is so much I didn't know!!

@raspberrytupee there so much to think about isn't there! I'm hoping my DH can carry holiday over (his boss let his other colleague do this. One colleagues has a baby due next month and his boss has said he will re furlough him for 3 weeks - I'm not sure that's completely fair but guess they have been lucky with their timings). DH job is commission and bonus based and due to current situation these are on hold so if that continues it would be better for me to go back to work and him to do Mat leave. It's not something I've ever thought about but it would be a difference of nearly £500 a month between our salaries and I wouldn't want financial pressure on top of having a baby. I'd rather do it but if that's the circumstances I'd sway to him doing it. Xxx

Hi all

Have been watching the chat but been a bit too tired to reply (not a PG symptom unfortunately). There is just so much to think about isn't there? My OH is self employed so I think he would only have about two weeks off - back like when I was a baby - as no idea how we would afford it. Luckily my maternity pay is 6 months at full - although I have just had to take a 20% pay cut so that's not ideal. I think if you add everything up and think about all of the things, we would just never end up TTC!

Agree with all your posts about delaying events etc. Does anyone have holidays booked that may (hopefully) become baby moons? I was meant to go to the euros in Budapest in June but that isn't happening. I don't want to tell my parents (who booked the trip) that I am TTC but at the same time I need to make sure they don't rebook the tickets for next years. It's difficult to judge when you don't know how long it will take to conceive.

@HJen22 I am still learning! I thought I was more DPO but downloaded another app yesterday and may have still been in the fertile window so was clearly not as far into my cycle as I thought so I am entirely confused! I will just aim to DTD every 2 - 3 days for my first cycle and hope for the best!

@LennyAndToots think we all are! I had no idea there was this much to it! Yeah I downloaded Flo last night after talk about it but it had different days to the P.C. app I'm using too! But only by a day. I was actually surprised that my cycle came back so quickly after being on the mini pill for years, "it might take months and months" were my words to my OH 😂😂

You're right though, we can't be 100% sure of days if just using the app so DTD as much as possible is the best bet for now!

Wow this chat has really got going since last posted nice to read everybody’s experiences!!
I’m 6dpo according to the Flo app. @FairyLights2 @HJen22 I’m the same as you with ovulation tests, I would go crazy and think I would stress myself out. I am only on 3rd cycle after coming off the mini-pill which I was on for years with no AF so my head is telling me that body needs to adjust and I guess that I’m hoping it happens easily! Im in no rush but know I’ll be doing all the at home tests in a few months if it doesn’t happen!
Has anybody given you any old-wives tricks to getting pregnant? Like keeping your legs in the air after DTD.

@LennyAndToots it's a really difficult decision isn't it. I've always told people I want to be financially ready and they have always said you will never be ready. We are absolutely fine but I always worry about money so even if I take the mat leave I'm thinking 6 months max and going back full time. I left a job that was 6 months full then down to half pay to somewhere where it's sat mat pay but as it's a nursery I'd get a discount on fees. Even with a discount though I'm hoping grandparents will do it (my MIL would be desperate to do it as she loves children). I work 4 long days so thinking MIL for 2, my parents for 1 and a nursery day just for socialising. Obviously everyone has to do what they want so hope no one poops on this. Reasoning for going back FT would be so we can then take our child places and give them experiences. I've already done the calculation on how much we need to save each month to take them to Florida when they are 11! Lockdown and being a super planner made me do this!

We were supposed to go away last week and have changed it to July. It's Scotland so only hotel booked at the moment, that will probably get cancelled though. We had a lot of concerts and theatre trips booked (all before September as that was our original TTC date) and they are all cancelled or moved to next year. Budapest is on my list of places to do! Do you think you could use Covid to delay your parents until next year? Maybe say we don't know how things are going to go in terms of economy and safety so why don't we leave it until next year before looking to book?

I just realise I talk so bloody much! 😂 xxx

Hi girls,

I’ve just been browsing whilst everyone has been chatting so I won’t tag you all because I can’t remember who said what but I’d 100% recommend opks, you don’t have to get pricey ones, I got ovaview off amazon but decided to get easy@home which are also off amazon, and then download the pre mom app as you can take a pic of your opk on the app and it tells you when you’re high, low, peak etc, (I’ll tag a photo in to show you all). I didn’t really use opks until this month and because my af was irregular for the first few months I had no idea when I was ovulating, but this month I’ve known exactly when my peak was from using opks, I still have flo app as well as premom and my Fitbit, but I suppose it’s whatever works best for you! I’d start testing with cheap opks the day after af finishes for your first cycle of using them so you know what kinda pattern you’re in and know what days you get that strong line so you will know for sure the next month!

As for holidays and events I have 3 holidays planned this year July, August and September, and the one in August is a girls holiday, which my accommodation has already been cancelled for due to covid but looks like my flights are still going ahead, but if you always think “well we can’t start TTC because we have that event, we have that holiday” you never will, sometimes we’ve just got to do things that are right for us, and if me having my own little baby means I can’t go on holidays this year so be it!

As for work and mat leave pay, it really is shocking isn’t it, thankfully I’m in the position I’m in were I’d be okay, and my OH has been at his company for 11 years so has a generous holiday entitlement and also gets extra holidays for every weekend and bank holiday he works (and he works every other) with him being there a long time he gets certain benefits, so he can take 4 weeks holidays paid, 4 weeks sick and then his pat leave if he really wanted, and the 4 weeks holiday will only come off the days he got back for doing weekends, not his overall holiday entitlement! I know how awful other places are for mat leave, it really isn’t fair!

Hope my advice on opks helped, I by no means know it all, I haven’t been trying long myself and I this is baby number 1 for me but if what I do know can help someone then that’s a bonus!x

Hi @SK2970 👋🏻

I know - I already found myself slightly obsessing over the app when tracking ovulation hadn't even crossed my mind when I came off the pill 🙈

I am aiming to do the same, let my body get back into a routine for now.

Haha I was reading up about that wondering if I was meant to be doing that, I didn't but waited a little longer before going to the loo each time 😂

Sorry forgot to attach the pic of the premom app

@SK2970 I think it's my fault as I talk so much on here 😂 you ladies have to take all my gibberish as no one knows we are trying!

You are the same as me! Came off the pill after 11 years and it was the one where you don't tend to have periods. I am just finishing month 2 of AF after having a withdrawal bleed and AF in April. I don't know if it does work but I have been keeping my legs up! I also heard someone say don't rush to the toilet straightaway after DTD so I've also tried not to do that too. I'm taking seven seas trying for a baby and yesterday ordered wellmen tablets for my DH (his idea not mine - guess it seems fair that we are both trying to do our bit) and then a lubricant that helps with sperm flow. I ordered this based on other threads where people have said 1) it helps the swimmers and 2) if you're DTD every other day it might just help so you aren't sore.

I've read about people eating the core of a pineapple? Not a fan of pineapple unless it's with cheese 😂 so don't think I'll try that one.

What are you doing? Xxx

I've totally lost track of everything going on 🙈 @LennyAndToots my OH is self employed, as am I, so I think we would be similar - he would only take 2 weeks off, and maybe I would only be able to have about 6 weeks at the most and then would need to go back to work part time, but that would be OK as I work from home anyway.

We've had both our hen do and stag dos cancelled, and most likely the wedding too. It's a funny old year isn't it. I think the only reason I've not felt truly awful about all the wedding stuff is because we've decided to focus on TTC instead.

Would defo recommend tracking CM to anyone that's not keen on OPKs and the cost involved. TBH you probably don't even need to carefully monitor everyday, as I realised straight away when I had EWCM last month, without needing to investigate, so to speak. Hoping the same thing happens last month.

I'm on CD13 today and should ovulate in a few days if my apps are right, so am feeling excited but anxious too! Xx

@Peach1204 haha thanks I will bear your tips in mind! It actually hasn't been officially cancelled but the football has. I am just waiting for the trip to be cancelled... which will likely be within a few wks especially as I would now have to quarantine.

My issue is because the football will go automatically to the next year sooo I'm trying to think of excuses so that I can say I want a refund - my parents think I'm mad because they think going to the euros would be an amazing experience so why would I want to miss out!? But I can't have my life on hold for an entire year when I don't know how long it will take to TTC.

I would quite like a baby moon in Budapest so happy for it to be bought forward but we shall see!

I'm dreading AF so thanks for the tips on OPKs. It feels weird but as my tracking has been awful, I'm kinda expecting AF (I am a pessimist though)!

@Peach1204 haha the chat is good to read!!

I haven’t done the legs up but my sister-in-law swore by it! But done the waiting a little longer before lol! I’m taking Boots conception vitamins at the moment, they give me terrible nausea some days but got about 2 weeks left of them so might try something different! I’m struggling with acne and I am convinced it’s the Biotin in the vitamins so thinking of just trying folic acid and vit d alone but then don’t want to miss out on other vitamins at a critical time!!
I had seen about the pineapple but not ventured to it yet haha maybe in a few months!!
I keep getting little butterflies in my stomach at the thought of the possibility of getting pregnant, it’s a bit surreal when never done it before!
When is AF due? I’m due on 1st and I have a week off work, DH cancelled his leave as our holiday got cancelled, so although he WFH too I’m going to be bored and know will be stressing about waiting and not knowing!