First time TTC - help please!! Any one else TTC for their first time?

[BeeR2009]

Hi everyone,

Me and my husband have made the decision to try for a baby - we had a talk last month after I thought I might be pregnant (we weren't actively trying) and after 12 years together feel that now is the right time.

I'm feeling really excited and a little nervous - I know it may take a while and I just want to be as prepared as possible and be doing as many of the right things as I can.

What do people recommend for trying to get pregnant? Is anyone else in the same boat and would like to keep in touch/progress?

I'm due to finish AF in around 2 days and due to ovulate around 28th according to my tracker app - I've got folic acid and vitamin D arriving tomorrow that I can start taking, what else can I be doing to prepare as much as possible? I know it sounds silly, but do we just start 'trying' as soon as my period is over?

Look forward to speaking to you all soon!

Thanks,

Bee x

@Daffodil21 it's my sister in law (DH sister) she's a very shove it in your face kind of person who can irritate me quite easily so if I don't rise above it then it would probably get me down so I'm just the happy auntie! We have a history of her permanently trying to get one over on us so this is not the first occasion of me feeling like this 🙄

I think I will look into that SMEP some more. Also some lubes that people were chatting about- DTD so often could get a bit sore.

Aw sorry @AlisonLew15
Still nothing here, AF is now 5 days late. I've decided I'm going to test again on Saturday!

Who here is doing smep? We set out to do that but as it's our first month I'm not properly tracking ovulation just using my app so we've dtd every day of my cycle as we don't wanna miss it.. 13 days in a row so far and still going strong 😂

@Mrskcam we are (really cannot be bothered tonight 😂)

I had an email from amazon yesterday asking me to review the early pregnancy test strips I'd ordered - I thought I'd order ovulation strips! 🤦🏼‍♀️ I hadn't opened the parcel as I was in no rush. Also hubby asked when AF was due and I said Sunday/Monday then thought oh shit, he would expect a test Tuesday meaning I can't surprise him! I'd already bought 5 tests so considering I had another 3 I thought I'd test this morning as they are early response strips - 2 BFNs. Only second month of TTC but it's shit. How do you guys pull yourself out of this? I've gone from being casual to obsessive! I now don't want to do my exercise but know I should because it will help. Just disappointed more then I thought I would be. Sorry if you're following a couple of threads I'm on as I'll be repeating this there! Xxx

@Peach1204 sorry to hear about your tests! Your still early testing so not out until AF is due! I'm same as you though with only 2nd month, I couldn't believe how much of a disappointment the first time was but I kept telling myself that it's not over yet! I'm just into FW so a few weeks behind you, I purposely haven't brought any tests and will try order them closer to when I need them so not tempted to test early!
Stay positive!!

@SK2970 thank you for being so kind. I think I find it more difficult because I had a bit of a bleed for a few days back (mainly light and brown so not AF) and thought it might be an implantation bleed. I've definitely not felt well either so I think I did get my hopes up. Will test again if AF is late but if this isn't the month I don't want to early test again. I take my hats of to people who go through this for many cycles (feel selfish getting annoyed after 2nd cycle!) Sending lots of luck your way! Xxx

Hi everyone, so I'm spotting this morning, assuming AF is coming. When I spoke to GP yesterday, she said that she thought I might have a very early miscarriage (chemical) because of the negative test I took yesterday, after 4 faint positives earlier in the week. Surprisingly I don't feel so bad today because I knew it was coming, yesterday was horrible though! At the Begining I never imagined ttc would be such an emotional rollercoaster. Took 7 months to get a positive, hope it doesn't take another 7 😐.
On a more cheerful note at least I can drink gin now!

Sorry for the long post just wanted to vent and update incase anyone reads this and is in a similar position.

Up to this point I have only tracked CM, anyone use ovulation tests? Is it worth the hassle? After this months cycle being 42 days it would be interesting to see when I actually ovulate. If anyone has any insight or recommended brand it would be really useful 🙂
Hope you are all okay today❤️

@Peach1204 I'm sorry you didn't get the news you wanted. It is a tough old journey and to be honest, it doesn't get any easier. 19 months down the line and I cannot believe I let myself get that crazy in the TWW again. Although I think ovulation testing is a good thing if your cycles are out of whack, I actually think it's very detrimental to your mental health. Personally, I find knowing your cycle to the day, and know when the earliest day you can start testing from increases the stress and anxiety. We are trying SMEP for our last month of really really 'trying'. Next month I am ditching OPKs. I will still take my folic acid and make sure I'm healthy, but I will expect to get my period, and if by some miracle I am pregnant, I will be able to tell pretty early on (I'm sure it varies from person to person, but both times last time I took a test because I noticed some definite changes, not little niggles which could have meant anything), so I took a test. I couldn't tell you when AF was due those months, and I certainly didn't spent all month looking at my calendar for the earliest day I could test, because I had no idea. Everyone's experience with TTC is different, but the sense I relief I feel now, just knowing that we are going to stop being so intense is massive. It probably helps that we are looking to explore different avenues, and not pin all our hopes on a natural conception (and tbh, pregnancy terrifies the fuck out of me) but we don't know that we will be accepted for that either.

@Bam27 I'm so sorry to hear that. It may take a little while to adjust to knowing that, if you feel helpless or a little lost, that is totally normal and you can always talk to us on here. Make sure they register it on your records, just in case you need it down the line. I severely hope not, and I'm so sorry to even suggest such a thing, but just in case

Sorry for long post again!!!!

@Bam27 I meant to add - if you do use OPKs I would absolutely recommend clear blue. Definitely on the pricey side, but no messing about because you get a clear digital reading. If you go for the slightly cheaper pink ones, which show you your 2 most fertile days instead of 4, make sure you test morning and evening close to the time you think you may ovulate because those ones are easier to miss the beginning of the peak as they only detect one hormone instead of two (the blue CB ones detect 2, and show you the days leading up to ovulation as well as your peak). If your cycles are varying and you have no idea, I would recommend that for at least a month or two you invest in the 4 fertile day ones

@Daffodil21 thank you lovely. How are you still sane after 19 months?! Pregnancy scares me too. I'm very much a glass half empty person so even before we were trying was worried something was wrong (with no reason at all) and I really don't anticipate enjoying pregnancy if it happens as I'll be worried about everything. Xxx

@Bam27 sorry to hear about your chemical I hope you enjoy your gin! Xxx

@Peach1204 I'm not 😂 not anymore anyway!

Despite my personal (and not very common) experience), do try and enjoy this time though. It should be fun and exciting. Yes it can drag on a bit and sometimes feel a little unromantic with semi planned sex, but in a way that is the most romantic thing - You are trying to create a life together, and with time (hopefully not too many months!) you will get there. Being pregnant is amazing thing, so when you get there, yes, be wary of things to look out for, but in all honestly if a MC is starting there is nothing you can do to stop it. It's good to be aware, but worrying about the possibility is going to do no good.

I really really hated reading this advice to begin with, but I think there is a lot of truth in it: just try to relax a little. I hate myself for even saying that on this board 😂. I just thought after last months TWW, no wonder I didn't get pregnant, my whole body was completely stressed out and on edge in the anticipation

@Daffodil21 thank you so much for your advice. I'll try and chill out a bit going forward. It's nice to have someone who can give you tips xxx

@Peach1204 I know how you feel I also took a frer test this morning apx 10 DPO as per my app and mine too was a BFN so dissapointed I feel like am loosing the plot because I have had soo many symptoms I have never notice before but its obviously all in my head.

@Summertime i've done the same 2 months in a row.. gotten to the point where i don't trust anything I feel at all!

Getting ready to get going this month, CD 4 here. After AF arrived I took a few days to forget about it all and just relax and eat what I liked and drink what I liked. Not feeling as upset, stressed and anxious thankfully. Feeling ready to get started with the next month and my ovulation strips have finally arrived! I've bought the cheap ones so far this month so now it's just a matter of figuring out how to use them hahaha

Also I'm really sorry for everyone who got bad news over the past few days xx A few days ago when I was feeling upset I spoke to a friend who's a gynae and he said that it's perfectly normal for this process to take 6 months, even a year without any cause for concern.

@Summertime1992 I think if I hadn't have had what I thought were symptoms I'd be feeling better. Keeping fingers crossed for you and @SaraVB for next time round. Xxx

@Peach1204 @SK2970 We are also at the end of our second month of trying. CD2 here, AF in full swing. Can't believe how quickly I've become consumed with TTC.

@Bam27 I used the Clear Blue advanced digital ovulation kit this month, it was really easy to use although a little pricey but I definitely think worth the money as it gives you definite answers. I will be using it again after AF buggers off!

I've just bought some Preseed online, going to give that a go. Anyone have experience with it?

DH and I had a serious chat today as I was a bit upset yesterday after AF arrived. I felt so sure that my body was feeling different so it was a big disappointment when I realised we weren't. DH has done some research of his own today so think he's more clued up on frequency of DTD during fertile week. Wish us luck! Xx

@AlisonLew15 I didn't think it would hit me this badly. Doesn't help that I don't have any distractions right now as I'm furloughed. Hope you get some good news soon! Xxx

@Peach1204 I'm off work for another 4 weeks then in for 3. I work in a Dentist, nervous to go back to all the new changes!

So today my sister in law is planning an adults only couples trip to Madrid for May next year, I'm hesitant to add on as we are actively trying for a baby. It's a bargain at £300 so if we did have to drop out it wouldn't be that much of a loss. I should stop thinking ahead so much... no way I could leave a baby few weeks old though

Hi all just about to read through the messages, work was crazy! I had a funny turn and went dizzy and nearly passed out (lucky I work in a hospital) and obs were fine so 2 of my co workers both pulled me to the side (separately) and asked me if I'm pregnant! I'm only 3dpo so god knows if that was related. But the main thing today is I feel very swollen down there and ngl I've got a horrible case of fanny daggers 😅

@AlisonLew15 I hope it all goes ok. Everyone will be aware of new measure that are in place so should abide by new rules. I could work from home but not needed. Xxx

@Mrskcam I hope you're ok! Lots of illnesses people seem to point straightaway to pregnancy don't they?! Xxx

Eugh I'm on CD 37 and still no AF... Testing tomorrow.
In other news I've just found my favourite chicken (Poppy, hence the username) dead :(

@AlisonLew15 I go back to the office on Monday too. Feeling a bit nervous as well. Going to try to walk to work to avoid public transportation and hoping the heat doesnt kill me!

Madrid is really fun but even if you haven't just had the baby, there's a chance you might be in your last trimester and unable to travel. Is there any option to change the dates or get a refund if you're unable to go? might be an option and then you could just go on a trip with your partner later instead.