Penguin huddle 🐧🐧🐧 TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 35 - time for some sticky BFP's

[SomeBunnyovertheRainbow]

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to give and receive support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy or baby. Pregnancy and child loss is one of the most difficult things we can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

I have found so much comfort from the lovely ladies on this thread and I’m hoping for lots of BFPs in coming months!

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

Yippee! I'm bloody knackered.

@peperethecat it sounds so stressful! Have you tested again today? Totally get the peeking on opks for something to pee on! 😊

@SomeBunnyovertheRainbow I hope the fact you aren't having pmt is a good sign 🤞

@Mumlili9 sorry for the bfn, it's still so early though, so don't be disheartened. I'm going to try hard not to test early this month.

@VenusStarr Well done! SMEP is tiring! I think we only tried it once but had a few cycles where we dtd nearly every day during FW and it is exhausting - physically and often emotionally too as I can get anxious that we’re not doing it enough at the right time! Hope it is worth it - Good luck 🤞

Hope everyone is doing well today

@VenusStarr Today's line seems to be exactly the same darkness as yesterday's. It hasn't got lighter or darker. What does this meeeeeean?!

OPK? @peperethecat

I think that sounds promising @peperethecat! 🤞 Is it more stressful to wait until tomorrow, or yo try a 3/4 hour hold later today?

@SomeBunnyovertheRainbow the opk thing has never worked for me when I've been pregnant, but then none of them have worked out.

No, it's an HCG test @SomeBunnyovertheRainbow, but I had three shots of Ovitrelle (last one on Saturday night) so at the moment I have no way of knowing whether it's the trigger shot hanging around or a new pregnancy. For the last few days they were getting lighter and now this morning's is the same as yesterdays.

@peperethecat Oh I see. Sorry for being slow. Will you keep testing?

What do you think? These are the last five days of tests starting Sunday morning, so until today they were clearly getting lighter. I will keep testing every day until Tuesday I think.

I’m agree today’s looks no lighter than yesterday’s, could almost be slightly darker

I keep telling myself that if the HCG from the trigger shot is leaving my system then if it's the same darkness then maybe that means my body is making new HCG at the same rate. But I don't know, maybe I'm just kidding myself! This is torture.

@peperethecat I get it. It’s hard not knowing. I hope it is new HCG but time will tell🤞

Sorry @SomeBunnyovertheRainbow I thought you meant using an opk to test for pregnancy! 🤦‍♀️

@peperethecat I've zoomed in (serial squinter!) and today's looks a shade darker, I think. The cheapy tests are like a drug for me, if I have them in the house I will do a couple a day! Personally, I'd be holding and trying again later - NOT recommending you do that though :)

Don't encourage me!! I tend to think that when HCG is this low you're unlikely to see any real difference in a few hours and if it's lighter or darker I'll be obsessing about that even though it would probably just be down to how dilute my urine is.

When I was pregnant before Christmas I had the faintest of shadows on 9 DPO (couldn't even see a line, just enough of something to crack out a FRER which confirmed it) and by 14 DPO I had a strong line, so logically I know that in a few days I will have an answer one way or the other. But this waiting game is so hard.

It is really hard, have you got something that can keep you occupied today.
You are definitely right, it's actually just a waste of money in these early days to test more than once a day - my logical brain goes on holiday during the latter part of the tww 😂

Only work, but it's all gone quiet over the last couple of weeks. It's really annoying because my company made us take five days off to ease the wage bill in April (our holiday days get paid from a separate fund that was all paid up last year), and I was so busy in April I was having to take calls on my days off and work crazy hours on the other days, and if I'd chosen to take those days off and hadn't been going away I probably would have cancelled them due to workload, but because of the company policy I had to take them. And now pretty much since the end of April everything has gone quiet and I'm twiddling my thumbs!

Oh no, that's not good. What are the restrictions like there, can you go out for a walk or anything?

Yes actually lockdown has been officially over since 11th May, although we still need a special authorisation to travel more than 100km (which I wouldn't be doing anyway) and we have to wear masks on public transport and in a lot of shops etc.

Bars and restaurants are still closed but the weather is nice now and people just seem to be recreating them outside. I went for a walk last night and saw lots of groups of people playing pétanque, some people gathered around a park bench having some drinks, huge crowds of people having picnics round the lake, teenagers making out in cars and a group of people who had gathered outside a bar (the doors were open, I think it must have been the owners and their friends) drinking beers and eating takeaway pizza.

Frankly they might as well just reopen the bars and restaurants!

I think the virus is here to stay for a while so we might as well go almost back to normal and just try to keep ICU admissions to a manageable level. But I might feel differently if I was high risk or knew someone who was. The current transmission rate and daily death rate is pretty low in France at the moment but I guess there's always a lag of a couple of weeks, so I guess in the next fortnight we'll see whether the easing of the restrictions has caused a second wave or not.

I wonder whether people are making the most of their relative freedom at the moment because they're worried we'll be back on proper lockdown in a couple of weeks.

@VenusStarr I think we both maybe got confused

Interesting to hear how things are there @peperethecat

Work is keeping me sane!

Fingers crossed @peperethecat !

I’m reeling I’ve just had a call telling me the post mortem results are back, which is waaaay sooner than we’d been prepped for. So of course now wondering what that means. Got to wait for The bereavement midwife to ring me with an appt time with her and a consultant to go through them now. Was completely out of the blue, we were told it would likely be July maybe even early August so a bit thrown now. I hope we don’t have to wait too long for the appointment.

Handhold for you, @marmitecheesetoast.

Thanks @peperethecat.
I just can’t believe it can be so soon. I think this must mean they’ve found something?? But who knows. I’ve had to pour myself a wine to calm down

@marmitecheesetoast

Something similar happened to us. We were told the result would take about 12 weeks but we were waiting longer. Then I got a call offering me a same day appointment and it made it sound like it was urgent so we worried something was wrong. It turned out they’d just offered us a cancellation because they I’d chased for the results.

I hope you have a good bereavement midwife. It helps. Getting the results is never going to be fun b it I hope you are not told anything that could make things harder for you and I recommend writing down any questions as you’ll otherwise forget them when you’re there.

I don't really know what to say in case I say the wrong thing, but I hope you get some answers as soon as possible.

Thanks both. I’m still waiting for her to call, might not be til tomorrow as I know she’s in clinic all day. I Imagine the appointment will be over the phone with current covid situation. I will have a think and write down any questions but I imagine most of the questions will come as a result of what the actual PM says

I am just worried it may throw an additional obstacle in our course