Penguin huddle 🐧🐧🐧 TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 35 - time for some sticky BFP's

[SomeBunnyovertheRainbow]

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to give and receive support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy or baby. Pregnancy and child loss is one of the most difficult things we can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

I have found so much comfort from the lovely ladies on this thread and I’m hoping for lots of BFPs in coming months!

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

I’ve heard of people doing them by video call as well so that’s something to consider asking about. I only say this because I was at a Sands meeting recently and one person complained they’d had results over the phone but someone else in the group had had their meeting as a Skype or Zoom call which they found more helpful helpful. Might not be an option everywhere or course.

You’re right and I wouldn’t necessarily go out of your way to think of questions. I was writing them from almost the day she died. Every time I thought of something, I wrote it down, and it helped me to do that but they were all answered anyway.

Hi all,

I hope you don't mind me joining this thread, you all seem like such lovely people.

My story is I've been TTC since Sept 17. I had a chemical pregnancy in March 18, then an ectopic pregnancy in May 18. We stopped for a few months as advised after that and then struggled to conceive for many months. I then conceived again in November 19 and miscarried at about 6 weeks and then caught again the next months only to find out that was ectopic and had surgery in Jan this year to remove the foetus and my right tube.

I don't have any children.

The reason I've dropped a message is because I've had a positive test on a FRER at 11 dpo today (I attached the pic) and I'm now super scared for the next few weeks with my history. It's hard as I don't want to get my hopes up but I really want this one to stick.

I'm 36 now btw.

Hi girls, is it okay with you all that I join? Im 37, no children (yet 🤞) A week ago I had an ectopic pregnancy at 7.5weeks, required surgical management & I lost a fallopian tube 😭 This was my third pregnancy in 12 months, the ectopic the same week as my mmc 12 months prior.
1st BFP April 19 MMC 10.5 weeks
2nd BFP Sept 19 MMC 7 weeks
3rd BFP April 20 Ectopic 7.6weeks

The procedure I had was a "salpingectomy" which means I still have two apparently functioning ovaries but only one tube. The surgeon also removed three "spots" of endometriosis which I did not know I had. Hoping this will help our efforts carry a baby to term. Still feeling so so sad to have lost an otherwise healthy bean that implanted in the wrong place. But we are hopeful for the future. Any of you have any positive stories for me after ectopic? If this post is in the wrong thread im sorry, im new to mumsnet and, well, forums in general! 🤦‍♀️

I forgot to say im sorry for all of you ladies that are here and reading through some of your posts and losses really shows what a sh*t time we have all been through in varying circumstances of the same sad outcome.I hope we all get the precious baby we so dearly long for, gotta have hope!!

Aww @Rayray17 huuuge congratulations to you!! Of course you are worried honey, thats totally understandable and prob expected. Sending you calming and healthy vibes for a healthy sticky little jellybean rainbow baby...You totally deserve this to be your time now!! 🌈❤💕

@marmitecheesetoast 💕 I hope I haven’t said too much. I know how difficult it is waiting for PM results.

@Rayray17 I’m sorry for your losses. It’s understandable you would be worried. We do have a sister thread for our ladies who have got their BFPs. Hopefully someone can link it in case you want to join.

@Babytobe I’m sorry you find yourself here and for what you’ve been through but it is a lovely group.

I had some spotting yesterday and again today which is how AF usually starts so not feeling as hopeful now. I even read that not having PMT symptoms can mean you haven’t ovulated!

Also can I ask who else gets spotting before their periods? At least since I had my angel DD I seem to have this every cycle eg don’t read if TMI spotting on Monday, spotting on Tuesday then light AF on Wednesday, medium AF Thursday... I was reading all sorts last night like that this can mean progesterone is low which is obviously an issue if TTC but there seems to be conflicting info as to whether it’s even considered spotting if it’s just the start of AF.

I still count CD1 as the first day of proper bleeding rather than spotting, which is what Ovia does too.

Also I didn’t notice any EWCM this cycle. I noticed some CM but didn’t seem to quite get to fertile CM so maybe that’s another I didn’t ovulate

Sorry I’m obsessing a bit now but I know it’s probably over once I’ve see the spotting!

How are you @Mumlili9 @peperethecat @VenusStarr?

Thank you @somebunny. It sure seems like a lovely group, thanks all for having me! And with such similar age groups aswell which helps (smelly cheeses indeed - I had a good old chuckle at who ever said this in previous posts!!)

Ive always had spotting about starting 5 days before AF. Sorry for tmi but just for clarity sake, when I say spotting I mean when wipe only, not enough for a liner. I think thats the distinction between it and AF - if its requiring a pad change then its mother nature in all her glory! I looked into the low progesterone also and sure enough my levels were borderline low.
Also, with me I sadly developed a friable cervix/ chronic cervicitis following surgical interventions for past failed pregnancies. After a colposcopy to confirm it, it now means that I am extra likely to spot when when using the ladies so thats another added confusion. Funny thing is, thats definately related to my menstrual cycle and.only ever in luteal phase

@Babytobe Thanks for your reply. Yes we are all similar ages which is nice. Yes it is only when wiping. I had a daughter last year who died before she was born and since having her and TTC again I’m more in tune with my body. Before then I didn’t track so I don’t even recall whether I used to have spotting. Our bodies are amazing and confusing aren’t they?! The friable cervix must make things more confusing for you but hopefully it won’t prevent you getting your rainbow baby.

I might speak to my GP because it is now 9 cycles since I my second pregnancy (which was 6 months after DD and ended in mc) as they do say to speak to your doctor if you’re over 35 and trying for more than 6 months. Not sure what they can do at the moment.

@somebunny im so sorry about the loss of your daughter. I cant bear to imagine how difficult that was and is for you and your family. Defo pop along to your Gp, especially after all you have been through and 6 mths of trying. They might do some hormone levels and vit D levels etc ( v important for cycle regulation and ovulation). Progesterone is checked CD3 and CD10 usually so at least this could be done for you now x

Congrats and good luck @Rayray17

@SomeBunnyovertheRainbow I get spotting for 2-3 days and read that it should be counted as day 1 if it's directly before AF and a nurse also said this. If not then I've been tracking my cycles wrong all this time lol?! I think it's a normal thing though. Yes, deffo speak to your GP to get help.

AF came properly yesterday after 3 days of spotting which I've been waiting for following my MMC so right on time!

@Babytobe I was tested for vitamin D not long ago and was low so I’m taking vit D and I’m taking high dose folic acid. I called the GP this morning but wanted one particular GP who was lovely after I’d had my stillbirth and MC. At the time she told me I could call in to speak to her any time even if reception said she didn’t have any appointments but I haven’t spoken to her since. Apparently she’s in on Monday so I’ll call then. It’s helpful to know when progesterone is checked. Thank you x

@SomeBunnyovertheRainbow hi hun I'm OK.

I had a blazing bfn this morning at 10dpo so I'm considering my self out this cycle. Totally gutted as it's technically my first "normal length" in years. Bding was perfect for ovulation too. This pesky one tube isn't doing its job. On to cycle 4 😔. The only time I've ever had a later bfp was with my ectopic and that put me through hell so I don't want to see one later because I'll freak out. Does that sound stupid?
@Babytobe lol that was me (cheese). It's true I've been here forever, occasionally I get to leave for a few weeks and jump over to the sister thread (pregnancy one) but I always come back. Sorry you find yourself here.
Congrats and good luck @Rayray17
@marmitecheesetoast I hope your appointment date isn't to far away. I'm hoping for the best outcome under such circumstances (I hope you understand what I mean), hand hold coming your way x

@mumlili9 you are one hilarious lady!! Definately think a sense of humour is the one thing that keeps me and all of sane atm 😂 Thanks for that earlier giggle!

Sorry to read of your BFN. Also very sorry to read of your past ectopic - this is me right now and its been an ordeal. Have only today received my hosp notes after I put in a freedom of info request. No particular reason just I want all the answers I can get and have to had, its oddly reassuring actually.

The only thing is 10dpo is still considered "early", so dont give up hope yet or worry if a bfp arrives later. It may not be over (or bad) for you at all now. sprinkling healthy sticky baby dust in your direction, just incase x

Thanks for the hand holds and support lovelies. My bereavement mw actually called last night and confirmed the PM is there but that she’s not made a date with the consultant yet so she’s going to get back to me with that. I really hope it’s not too long away. She rather unhelpfully decided to share snippets of the report with me. So she’s confirmed that DS didn’t have congenital abnormalities and that we haven’t been referred for genetic testing. She also confirmed that I hadn’t had one very rare serious placenta condition. Then basically went on to say she didn’t want to tell me anymore as it might send me googling off down the wrong path. Argh so patronising, I wish she hadn’t told me anything as it feels even worse waiting now. I feel like they have found something from what she said, and I do wonder if she’d just have told me if it was inconclusive. Anyway, back to waiting game.

Sorry for this mornings bfn @Mumlili9. Can understand your anxiety around seeing a BFP later given what’s happened previously. I’ll still have my fingers crossed for you for tomorrow morning.

Sounds like it’s worth getting in touch with the GP @SomeBunnyovertheRainbow just to get the ball rolling and see what the situation is at the moment. It does seem like things are starting to open up more.

I asked about a video appointment and the midwife said they don’t have that technology available at the moment so it will just be a phone call on speaker phone in her office with her and the consultant which doesn’t sound ideal.

Hi @Babytobe sorry you find yourself here.

Congrats @Rayray17

Still barely getting a shadow of a line on opks. Have had a couple of days of EWCM although that seems to have gone now. My cervix moved up and I felt much more amorous than normal, so all signs that I was gearing up for Ov but nothing on opks and no ovulation pain which I previously had every month (was very handy for timing things previously). So now I’m convincing myself I’m not ovulating.

Sorry crossed post @Sakura54

I use Ovia and I put spotting in today and yesterday but it doesn’t count af until I put in period, if you see what I mean. But I’ve also read it counts as your period if it’s at the start of AF 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m pleased your cycle seems to be somewhat back to normal.

@mumlili9 Thats disappointing but not doesn’t sound stupid at all.

I think I’m out too since I’m spotting and thinking maybe I just didn’t ovulate this cycle. Here is to next cycle!

🌈 💕

Witch is here 🧙‍♀️

But it’s a beautiful day - I hope you all manage to enjoy some sun ☀️

@Babytobe how do you get your notes. I want to do this because I'm so angry that they perforated my uterus twice during my operation and I want to know why, how and who

@Babytobe also do they send copies of the photos they took during the op. When I went for my post op with a doc who wasn't my doc ( covid is a twat) they said they took a section of my tube and the doc briefly flashed a picture at me, but before I left the hospital the nurse told me they removed my tube, so I'm super confused

@marmitecheesetoast I am so sorry I didnt see your post above until now, how rude of me. Im am so so sorry to see what you are going through with the loss of your little boy. I hope you get the supports you deserve to help you.

@mumlili9 applying for your medical records should be a fairly simple process. And yes, you are legally entitled to request a copy of everything, lab reports, pictures, histology reports, medical and nursing notes...absolutely everything where a clinical record was made, even be it on a post-it, it relates to you you have the right to access it. Im in republic of ireland and it was just a matter of filing in the request form for the hosp and emailing it away. They have to respond and furnish all here within 30 days, im not sure about your jurisdiction so this might differ somewhat. If you want to message me (if thats poss on this?) I can talk you through it or help you find the right links. I advise anyone and everyone to get your notes. If you are not of a medical background, perhaps you might know someone trusted who is who can advise you of terminologies etc.
Two perforations in your bowel sounds horrific. If I can be of help let me know xx

Sorry @Mumlili9 I see you said two uterine perforations, not bowel. But still, you deserve some explanations i should think

Sorry not been able to get on until now, been interviewing all day, via Ms teams! Bit weird. The last person dropped out, which I'm glad about as I hadn't realised it would be triggering. It was for a perinatal mental health lived experience role - so heard very personal stories of loss and episodes of mental illness, so have logged off and am in the garden ☀

I'm sorry the bereavement midwife shared some information like that @marmitecheesetoast ❤️ I hope that you get your meeting soon, sending you lots of love xx

Sorry to hear af arrived @SomeBunnyovertheRainbow it think it's worth chatting to your GP, maybe they can do some bloods. I don't get spotting before af, but I think it can be normal. The blood tests can confirm ovulation.

Sorry about the bfn @Mumlili9, 10dpo is still early so I wouldn't count yourself out yet 🤞

I'm sorry for your losses @Babytobe ❤️ I've had 3 losses in the last year too. How's your recovery? Welcome to the group :)

Good to hear your cycle seems to be back to your usual timings @Sakura54, even though its horrible for af to arrive, I do try to think that it's a positive that things are working as they should, plus it's the start of a new chance :)

@SomeBunnyovertheRainbow @marmitecheesetoast I wouldn't worry that you don't see much ewcm - you'll likely be having it, but it's up by your cervix. I know it's a faff, but I do like temping as it confirms ovulation for you, it just take a while to get into it. Only do it if its helpful, you don't want it to be a stress.

@peperethecat how are you today? Been thinking of you ❤️

@VenusStarr Hello, thanks for asking! This thread has been moving pretty fast over the last day or two.

I'm super stressed because my cheapies aren't getting any lighter or darker so I have no idea whether I'm pregnant or not. My FRERs arrived from Amazon today so I'm hoping that if I use a couple of those between now and Monday I'll be able to tell if there is any progression either way. I hate not knowing whether the line is from the trigger shot or a new pregnancy, and I would really like some wine tonight if I'm not pregnant!

Hello to all the new people. Sorry you find yourselves here.

That does sounds stressful @peperethecat, are you 11dpo now? Did the doctors say how long the trigger would be in your system? Hopefully the frer will give a clearer idea :) are you doing one today, so you can have wine? I don't think a small glass would hurt, but it's entirely personal if you'd rather not.

Yes, well remembered! Doctor told me not to test until Monday and go straight for a blood test and then repeat on Wednesday, so it sounds like he wouldn't consider a positive result definitive until I'd had two blood tests and my HCG was definitely rising. But the lab is closed on Monday so it's going to have to be Tuesday and Thursday.

I feel like if I were pregnant I'd have a darker line by now. But I also feel like I can't drink just in case. These trigger shots aren't good for my mental health in the TWW!