Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Starting TTC again after missed miscarriage

993 replies

Smilingdonkey · 15/05/2020 20:02

Hi,
Just ovulated for the first time after my missed miscarriage at 13 weeks (baby had stopped growing at 6-7) and wondered if anyone wanted to keep me company while we go through the ups and downs of ttc all over again! ! Xx

OP posts:
Thread gallery
22
Workingmama1 · 18/05/2020 22:32

Noticed it yesterday Confused will see how it is tomorrow and might give the EPU a ring just in case. It's stressing me out!

33Carr · 19/05/2020 02:05

@Workingmama1 I spose it's always safter to get things checked out! That's what medics are there for anyway!

Original poster
Smilingdonkey · 19/05/2020 15:07

@workingmama1 how are things?

I did another test and it's the same darkness. Driving myself silly trying north think about it.

OP posts:
SkyBlue20 · 19/05/2020 16:19

@Smilingdonkey What time is your appointment tomorrow? Not long now and you'll hopefully have an answer, I can understand how it must be sending you crazy.

@Workingmama1 Did you speak to the EPU?

Workingmama1 · 19/05/2020 19:36

I remembered that I had the option to speak to a GP through work so did that, and she thinks given I had a clear scan and miscarried naturally the most likely reason is bacterial vaginosis. She said sometimes it can clear up on its own but sometimes needs treatment somis sending me a prescription for antibiotics. Hopefully if that is what it is it will clear it. Although as I'm still breastfeeding she has given me a pessary version rather than tablets so that's probably dtd out the window for the course!

Hettie1981 · 19/05/2020 20:18

@workingmama1
I had been prescribed antibiotics (metronidazole) after my MMC, but nobody told me why. It was about a week after my MM. When I tried to Google about what it would be used for after MMC, BV was all I could come up with. Like you I'm hoping that was the problem and now I ve been treated it may not be an issue next time. I read that pregnancy itself can cause BV so will test myself if/when I am pregnant if its safe too.

Hope it goes well xx

Workingmama1 · 19/05/2020 20:33

@hettie1981 yes the doctor said the tablet form is very specific and BV is pretty much all they use it for. Did you have swabs taken where they could diagnose it from? Hormone changes such as pregnancy can cause it, and it also has a small chance of increasing miscarriage risk i think.

@Smilingdonkey I hope your scan goes well tomorrow

Hettie1981 · 19/05/2020 20:39

Yes I had vaginal swabs. The letter I had said I had aerobe infection. The lady I spoke to thought that those were from swabs rather then blood or urine. When I spoke to the GP she said she thought it could have been a significant factor. But nobody has actually said BV.
I will never know for sure I guess and this would be wierd but I kind of hope that it was that x

Rutennotou · 19/05/2020 20:45

Hi ladies, hope you don't mind me joining in. I had a MMC in February, next period arrived right on schedule and have been regular since. Have been TTC since then too. I've tried OPKs and have started BBT. I've gotten peaks but just not sure I've ovulated. BBT I've only started but not done a full month yet. Had a drop in temp around CD14 and it went back up again and pretty much the same temp since that. First month since MMC I've had good watery and ewcm though so I'll see what happens. Have 26/27 day cycle.

33Carr · 20/05/2020 07:06

Hi @Rutennotou Sorry to hear about your loss!

Good luck today @Smilingdonkey with your scan xx

Original poster
Smilingdonkey · 20/05/2020 13:02

Right so had the scan. Bit weird. Firstly there is no retained product which was main worry so thats fantastic to know. But they then did a test and it was negative - even though I had had another postive one this morning! They acted like I was lying and said that their tests were the most sensitive you can get. Clearly not! I have had 4 positives at home now. He said he couldn't see another pregnancy but it's not always possible this early and I have fibroids which were causing problems in scans (or have done for me before) I am assuming just still positive from miscarriage but It's weird how their's said negative. Don't think I'll relax until I get that negative at home now!

OP posts:
33Carr · 20/05/2020 13:27

@Smilingdonkey At least you're don't have to worry about the retained products anymore, I'm sure that's a great relief. Very strange about the negative tests though. Yours must be more sensitive regardless of what they say, it's so bad that they made you feel like you were lying 😖 Hope the scan has brought you some peace of mind

SkyBlue20 · 20/05/2020 13:36

@Smilingdonkey Glad there’s no retained product to worry about ☺️ When do you think you’ll next test? Their tests must definitely have been a different sensitivity to yours! Hope you’re feeling a little more at ease now having had some answers 💕

Original poster
Smilingdonkey · 20/05/2020 18:37

@SkyBlue20 @33Carr i'm so relieved all is ok! Was dreading being told bad news.

But just looked it up and it says that hospitals use normal sensitivity tests for 25 whatever it is of Hcg and my tests are First Response which can detect as low as 6.5. So basically they were lying! Just used these initially as I had one left and then wanted to use the same brand for comparison... Had no idea it would be so different! I've made so many fuck ups! Should have just used the cheap crappy ones! Why don't they just give us some proper guidance??!!

So either these positives are the tail end or the very very beginning of a pregnacy - you can't see a pregnancy on an ultrasound until Hcg reaches 25/30.

Guess I will test in a couple if days and see if they get lighter or darker! I suspect lighter but either way the waiting should be over soon.

OP posts:
Workingmama1 · 20/05/2020 18:39

@smilingdonkey so glad they didn't find and retain products. How are your tests looking, are they getting any stronger? Would you dare a CB weeks one so you can see if it goes up?

Hi @rutennotou sorry you find yourself here but welcome!

SkyBlue20 · 20/05/2020 19:11

@Smilingdonkey Be gentle on yourself - they’re not fuck ups and you weren’t to know, we get so little advice after everything we’ve been through, it would almost laughable if it weren’t so serious and frustrating. I can only imagine how frustrating it must be, I hope you get answers soon 💕

I’m wondering if maybe my period is coming soon - this may sound ridiculous but the week before my period I usually have a lot of self loathing, thinking I’m fat and flabby and basically being really mean to myself and I’ve realised I’ve been doing that the last few days. It may be nothing (especially as I’ve not really been craving junk food which I usually would, though I have been eating a lot through lockdown anyway!) but equally it may mean my period is on its way. I’ve never wanted it so much! My willpower is being severely tested to not do the pregnancy test, too. Though as much as I want to do it, I’m also scared to, which is why I think I’ve been able to wait. Friday is the day, fingers crossed for a negative! 🤞🏼

Original poster
Smilingdonkey · 20/05/2020 20:24

@workingmama1 how are you feeling? Are they antibiotics kicking in yet? The tests all look the same to be fair. I suspect they will start tailing off soon.

@SkyBlue20 thank you. I do need to be nicer to myself and not let this make me feel less in control. It's so hard isn't it?!

I also feel quite periody - All sorts of cramps and things. I guess out bodies are also just swimming with hormones at the moment too. Fingers crossed for a BFN... Seems so weird to say that! Only two more days. I will try not to test until Friday SmileXxxxx

OP posts:
Original poster
Smilingdonkey · 20/05/2020 20:26

Excuse the typos I'm on an old phone and it's impossible to type and so so slow!

OP posts:
SkyBlue20 · 20/05/2020 20:37

@smilingdonkey Yes, so hard to be nice to yourself and accept the lack of control! I’m a massive planner and am really impatient so the whole pregnancy and miscarriage thing has been really hard in that sense too - I hate not being in control!
Yes, bodies must be all over the place, I imagine. I do feel back to normal for the most part I think so will be surprised if it’s still positive but then you just don’t know, do you?! Once again I’m just being impatient now and want my period to arrive and leave so we can start TTC. I’m also wanting to DTD as it’s been SO long (we didn’t do it at all through pregnancy as were too nervous 😬) but am a bit nervous to until I get that negative - I feel like that will draw a line under everything and be the end of the miscarriage and mentally I can’t do anything until then as I’m worried about infection. It’s such a rollercoaster!!

Britannah · 20/05/2020 21:16

@Smilingdonkey I’m so sorry there are no retained products, must be such a relief but I can imagine until you get either a negative or a definite new positive your mind will be all over the place.

Just wanted to say that they were definitely lying about the NHS tests. When I tested post MVA I tested on a First Response twice and kept getting a line (although it seemed to be fading slightly!) when I spoke to the EPU they said that the NHS ones weren’t as sensitive and as long as I got a negative on them I was fine. How frustrating they told you otherwise xx

Original poster
Smilingdonkey · 21/05/2020 10:19

@skyblue20 learn from my mistakes! Don't Have unprotected sex until you have that negative! I'm going crazy here... caved and did another frsp with second morning urine and it's a tiny bit stronger than yesterday... But cheap tests show BFN. Bloody nightmare. I'm trying so hard to not be hopeful... Can't even tell my partner how crazy I am going. Honestly starting to make up pregnacy symptoms now - I really am making them up I'm sure! All for a massive disappointment when period arrives which is so stupid became a week ago I was desperate for it to come! Agggggghhhhh!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Smilingdonkey · 21/05/2020 10:23

@britannah why can't they just say? They could have saved a whole appointment and stress if they had had this conversation with me over the phone. I know the Nhs is chronically underfunded but they really do waste resources sometimes! I felt like they felt I was wasting their time - but had they talked to me about test sensitivity they could have wasted until I had a positive on a normal test and then scanned!!

OP posts:
Sakura54 · 21/05/2020 10:57

What symptoms are you getting? @Smilingdonkey still getting stronger, that's interesting. I can understand why you don't want to be hopeful but surely HCG shouldn't be increasing. Did they say to call them back next week or has it been left like this?

@SkyBlue20 still waiting for my period and hoping my cycles will regulate fairly quickly. Hope you get a BFN tomorrow! I'm still not going to bother testing.

Original poster
Smilingdonkey · 21/05/2020 11:13

@Sakura54 well done for the impressive willpower! It's very very slightly stronger. Probably nothing but impossible to ignore Confused they said nothing really. I will call Gp on Monday if this continues xx

OP posts:
SkyBlue20 · 21/05/2020 13:44

Afternoon all!

@smilingdonkey So is each one getting darker and darker? How dark are they now? Are you just doing first response now or less sensitive ones too? Sorry, all the questions!

@Sakura54 Hope your period is here soon 🤞🏼 I still wouldn’t be surprised if mine rears its head soon as feeling very bloated and horrible which is always a sign but equally trying to not get my hopes up. The bleeding seems to have been fully stopped for around a week now so hopefully it’s all going in the right direction!

It’s just occurred to me that we’re now on the conception board rather than the miscarriage one and it gave me a little smile - how far we have come, ladies even though at times it really felt like we’d never get here 💕