Starting TTC again after missed miscarriage

[Smilingdonkey]

Hi,
Just ovulated for the first time after my missed miscarriage at 13 weeks (baby had stopped growing at 6-7) and wondered if anyone wanted to keep me company while we go through the ups and downs of ttc all over again! ! Xx

@33carr no twins in the family but they thought they were identical which is completely random rather than genetic. It was very odd as they just weren't sure. First scan showed just the sack no embros or heartbeats, second she found one embryo but never mentioned a second, third found what clearly looked like two embryos and two yolk says but by the the forth everything was disintegrating so couldn't confirm.

@Dipsy77 I had the same thing, they scanned me after a few weeks and said retained products, but then things carried on for another 4 weeks and I finally got a bfn so they said no point in repeating a scan as it must all be clear despite me still passing bits....I don't know whether you can have retained products if you have got a bfn but I have definitely wondered with the persistent bleeding....

@Smilingdonkey I've been told lots of different things about when to ttc, my mother in law is a midwife and she said wait 6 months, the EPU said wait 1 month but from everything else I've been told the only reason they say to wait is for dating reasons so I really dont think anyone knows and I know multiple people who have conceived within 1 month of miscarriage and now have healthy children. As it's been said I dont want to get your hopes up but if you're getting stronger positives then it might be a new pregnancy?! My positives after miscarriage were faint and definitely got fainter each time. Fingers crossed for you xx

@Smilingdonkey If the tests are getting darker you may well be pregnant again. You are especially fertile after you miscarry so it is a fair possibility. I know it’s easier said than done but try not to stress too much that you didn’t wait. My friend didn’t wait after her miscarry and fell pregnant with DC2 straight away and all was well. Could you get one of the clear blue tests that state the number of weeks on it? Just thinking that may help. I have everything crossed for you!

@workingmama1 I hope your Dh is ok. Will there be a long recovery time? I hope it's nothing too serious. My first baby was conceived when we were 'trying but not trying' if that helps!

@Britannah @jojo58995 nothing showing on Internet cheapie bur definitely stronger (slightly) on first response - even Dp agrees. But I have no idea of my cycle and I didn't get anything on the cheap tests for ages last time. I am just assuming it's old hormones. There is the obvious hope but I'm trying not to let it grow as I know it's unlikely. Going to call the Gp today as was given no advice about this at the hospital when they discharged me.

Hope you are all well this morning?

Xxx

@Smilingdonkey Hope the GP can offer some advice and give you an explanation x

@Smilingdonkey getting stronger would suggest a new pregnancy but you just can't be sure as our bodies work in mysterious ways! That would be amazing for you though. The GP might possibly tell you to wait another week. I think it’s ok that you didn’t wait to TTC as so much time has already been wasted.

It hasn't taken me long to conceive each time but never without trying though. Would be great for it to happen without effort.

Could I ask you lovely ladies when you started to have sex again after your miscarriage? I just want to feel close to DH again but unsure if we should be using condoms for a little while or abstain completely for any specific length of time. I was only told to avoid sex until the bleeding stopped and it has, I’ve just got slight brown discharge now but my MVA was only last Thursday.

@littletandme Yeah I got told to wait untill bleeding had stopped and pain was gone. I had very little bleeding, the MVA was on a Friday and I think we DTD again on Tuesday/Wednesday. Not to TTC though. How are you doing?

@33Carr thank you for replying. I am doing well, I found out at a private scan originally, I was 7+3 but baby only measuring 7w with no heartbeat. Not nice to find out without DH as he was home with DD. But eventually after another private scan two weeks later (EPU refused to see me as there was no bleeding or pain, would only offer medical management at home if I really pushed for it) luckily I had a lovely sonographer who also worked at the hospital and she got me an appointment two days later and told me MVAs were still available so I just pushed for that as I have history of haemorrhage and retained placenta after DD’s birth so I was very concerned about medical management given the risks.

So desperate to TTC again though, I really wanted just over a 3yr age gap and this pregnancy was going to be 3yr 4m so I feel under pressure (entirely from my own head) now as it’s going to be at least 3.5yrs if not more.

@littletandme I'm glad you finally got the treatment you wanted. As for the age gap, I know it's easier said than done but try not to put too much pressure on yourself. They do say though that you are more foretine after pregnancy so it might not take long at all! As long as you feel mentally ready as well as physically!

@littletandme We still haven’t DTD and it’s been 2.5 weeks since my MVA - I feel overly cautious for some reason! I think subconsciously I’m waiting for a negative test and was told to test three weeks after, which will be Friday. However, I ordered the tests online and was expecting them on Thursday but they’ve just arrived and I’m so tempted to do one, I don’t think I’d do well if it was still positive though so should just wait...

I have read in a few places that you’re to wait for two weeks but the hospital didn’t tell me anything at all about it so who knows! The main risk is the risk of infection, so once the bleeding has stopped then in theory your cervix should have closed and the risk is reduced/gone? I could just totally be making that up though! Sorry, absolutely no use whatsoever! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Hi all. Think I am on a similar timeline to you op.

I had a MMC over Easter at 11-12 weeks, tested until BFN and now trying again. Think I've ovulated a couple of days ago based on OPK and temps but waiting for Ovusense to confirm it.

Feel absolutely desperate to get pregnant again. The pregnancy which resulted in MMC took us 15m to get there so feeling wary we will have a long road again. Already have one child who was conceived quickly with no problems!

Good luck to everyone.

@SkyBlue20 annoyingly I’ve got a bit of spotting again today and more aches so I think my body is still catching up with what has happened. The gestational sac was still growing right up to having the MVA even though the baby had stopped at 7 weeks so I think it’s going to take a while for the hormones to get back to normal and probably to get a negative test. I feel very PMS-y today which I suppose is a “good” sign that things are progressing.

@littletandme Same here (ish) - I found out at 12 weeks that the pregnancy had stopped progressing and the sac was measuring 9 weeks, however after three weeks of waiting (they made me try expectant management first) and nothing happening, I was made to do medical management (I say made as I would have gone straight for an MVA/ERPC but they had diff processes in place due to covid-19). The medical management didn't work and when I went back a week later for another scan, the sac had grown to 10 weeks (which then cast doubt over whether they'd do the MVA at their cut off was 9 weeks but thankfully they did!), so although not growing at a 'normal' speed, it was still growing. Perhaps that's why they told me three weeks 🤷🏻‍♀️

The PMS feelings are good! Hopefully a sign your body is getting back to a regular routine. I'm going to try and hold off doing my test until at least Wednesday but preferably Friday, the longer the better I guess - I really don't want to see a positive, I feel like I'm getting back to 'normal' and a positive would tell me I wasn't.

@littletandme It's my understanding that you must wait for 2 weeks and bleeding has to completely stop first to prevent infection. If you want to TTC without waiting for your period then no need for condoms; I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way. It might make things confusing though.

Same here about the age gap! There would have been 3 years 3 months between mine as baby was due Nov, so I was so disappointed on top of what I was already feeling, but I then thought about the positives of a big gap (4+ years) and have accepted it as there’s nothing I can do now. I’m in no rush and being patient but offcourse would like a baby sooner rather than later!

I also feel like my period could be coming back soon. Nearly 3 weeks since my MVA so it’s possible. I didn’t track my cycle straight after having DS so not sure how consistent it will be these first few months, but in general my cycle is regular.

@33Carr @sakura54 thanks - I'm trying not to go down that road in my mind! I know its unlikely and I don't want the inevitable disappointment! I have a scan on Wednesday late morning to check for either retained placenta or new pregnancy. I'm terrified will have to go through the surgery under spinal again. I've ordered some more frsp tests too so will test again when they come - I figured I'd be needing them next month anyway if I don't end up needing them.

@littletandme my only advice is to try and avoid this situation I'm in and start Ttc after you have had a negative test. These positives are now driving me mad! I really wish I'd thought about it more!

@SkyBlue20 that's is exactly how I feel about the positive. I feel like it's set me back two weeks

@ellenpartridge... What an awful situation to wait 15m and then miscarry. We are meant to bed uber fertile now so fingers crossed! X

@smilingdonkey You must feel in a sort of limbo, I’m glad you were able to get a scan in for relatively soon and hopefully it’ll be good news 🤞🏼The fact the line is getting darker is a positive sign as I imagine it’d stay the same with retained product but can fully understand why you wouldn’t want to think that way yet. Hope Wednesday rolls around quickly for you xx

@Smilingdonkey Aaah I'm so pleased you have a scan on Wednesday! I'll keep everything crossed that it's good news, but ultimately either way at least you'll know and won't be in limbo!

@Smilingdonkey so pleased you have a scan booked for Wednesday. I pray that either way you get all the answers you are looking for and I have everything crossed!

@ellenpartridge So sorry for your loss, such a horrible situation to be in and I understand your desire to fall pregnant again soon - sending you baby dust as I am to all these ladies

@littletandme I didn’t DTD until about 4 weeks post MVA because I was desperate for a clear BFN and wanted to ensure all bleeding had stopped. This was in Jan following the op in Dec, but we decided to wait and this month is our first TTC cycle. AF due tomorrow.... Hope you fall pregnant soon but you must do what’s right for you!!

Thanks ladies. I'm pretty sure it won't turn out to be anything sinister or exciting but I'm glad they are scanning me as it will allow me to know with confidence all is ok

@smilingdonkey so glad you've got a scan on Wednesday, hopefully it will let you know where you stand, it must be so frustrating.

For those debating dtd I'd wait, I'm now 3 weeks since natural miscarriage and bleeding stopped at the end of last week. We dtd Saturday and last night and now have some odd smellong discharge so worrying about infection. Although the intimacy was lovely the worry I've now got isn't worth it!

@Workingmama1 Oh no! How long has it been like that? Hopefully it's nothing and will clear itself up. Sorry you now have this worry too...