Starting TTC again after missed miscarriage

[Smilingdonkey]

Hi,
Just ovulated for the first time after my missed miscarriage at 13 weeks (baby had stopped growing at 6-7) and wondered if anyone wanted to keep me company while we go through the ups and downs of ttc all over again! ! Xx

AF just arrived, earlier than expected but atleast I know where I'm at and no more questioning every twinge I feel! (Untill next month anyway!)

Hi, can I please join? I'm sorry there are so many of us here but at the same time it's nice to 'meet' people in the same boat.

I had an MVA on 1st May and tested earlier this week and got a negative test. I'm hoping to ovulate any day now really - I used to ovulate around CD18.

Fingers crossed for us all

Welcome @adventurer2020 nice to meet you even if these are horrid circumstances. This thread will hopefully be a positive place though xx

On that note ...
So I am worried there is something wrong. Just took a pregnancy test to just give me peace of mind that it is all gone and it's positive. It's been 4 weeks since bleeding started and nearly 4 since ERPC - should I be worried? They didn't tell me to take one or give any advice and info online seems so vague and varied.

@Smilingdonkey After my MVA they told me to test 3 weeks after I stopped bleeding which I did, but told me not to worry too much of it's still +ve as it can take up to 6 weeks in some cases (if the pregnancy progressed longer) to get a -ve.

That's odd @Smilingdonkey - is there any chance you could be pregnant again? I was told 2 to 3 weeks for a negative, depending how progressed the pregnancy was. It's hard though isn't it as we are all told different things by different people, and then you throw Dr Google into the mix and it's just 🤷🏻‍♀️🤯. There is no consistency in the medical advice!

@33Carr oh thank you that's really good to know xx

@adventurer2020 I guess it's possible but I think it would be way to early for a positive test. There seems such variation im.hoe long the positives go on for now I have asked around a bit. My friend says she was getting them for 9 weeks!!!! I can't believe how inconsistent care seems to be around the country - madness! How are you feeling? Xxx

Hi all, sorry to hear about what everyone has gone through.

I had a mmc at 12 weeks on April 13th.
I think AF has just started today but it seems very light and has started to turn brown already. We had been TTC since I stopped bleeding but I had a feeling that we wouldn't catch again right away. I was actually quite glad to see AF starting, hoping my cycle gets back to normal soon.

Never used opk's last time and it took about 8 months to get my bfp, so hoping it doesn't take so long this time.

@Smilingdonkey I feel ok actually, I'm just really ready to be pregnant again. I feel really empty, if that makes sense. What about you? Are you hoping to get pregnant again straight away?

@nizo1245 hey! Glad things are getting back to normal for you. I keep reading/hearing that we are more fertile after a miscarriage so hopefully it happens quicker for you this time 🤞🏼

@SmilingDonkey Try not to worry too much. I was told to take a test 3 weeks after MVA too and it was still positive, was told to take another one a week later and not to use a sensitive brand such as clear blue or FFER and it. I was told that as long as the line was fading then that was a good sign x

Hi can I join ?
Had a MMC in February I was 9.5 weeks baby measured the right size so had just happened. I chose medical management but had retained product so had to have another lot of meds, so didn't get my first cycle till April so it's been going on a long time. I'm now CD5 of my 2nd cycle and hoping to try SMEP this month it's sad that this is so common in the past I'd thought BFP meant baby but I know when/if I get a BFP again I'll be so nervous x

Morning ladies! Hope we are all ok?
Weather seems to improving and I've just gone for a run which has helped my stressing! Although I did run past the temporary C19 morgue which was a bid depressing!

@Britannah did another test this morning which was stronger ... Going to monitor this week and if it doesn't get fainter call the docs. I need to stop googling retained placentas!

Hey, I'm so sorry to read what you've all been going through :( I really hope it's ok that I've joined this thread, I'm just desperate for someone to talk to about all this. I had a missed miscarriage at 11w end of Feb, after my morning sickness disappeared we found out our baby had died at 9w after having had a normal scan at 8w. I had medical treatment which resulted in an incomplete miscarriage (scan showed retained products) but the EPU said it should pass it just might take some time. I basically just continued spotting and passing bits for nearly 6 weeks after treatment when I finally got a negative pregnancy test. The EPU didn't want to scan me again as I had a negative test they said it should be complete. About the same as getting my negative test I suddenly started bleeding more heavily which was approximately 32 days after miscarriage treatment and appeared to be my first period so I hoped it was things getting back to normal. It got lighter and heavier over the following 10 days but then I continued spotting for another week or so after. After it finished I had no bleeding for a week and then started bleeding again which was roughly 35 days after the last onset of heavier bleeding but I really don't have a clue what would even count as day 1 with all of this being so intermittent. The bleeding was on and off, and after a few days of nothing it was suddenly heavier for a week which again I thought might be more my actual period, but now I have carried on spotting again with intermittently slightly heavier. It is 2 + 1/2 weeks since this round of bleeding started again and is showing no signs of fully stopping. I'm getting quite a few cramps and slightly different pains, nothing 'serious' but I am now nearly 3 months post miscarriage, definitely still bfn and have only had about 10 days in total where I haven't been spotting or bleeding to some degree and I am finding it really difficult as I desperately just want this to be over. I got pregnant straight away after coming off the pill, first pregnancy and we were hoping we would be able to try again, but this is just making it impossible to see how that could happen. I have read about people having to go back on the pill for a month to regulate things and I suggested that to my GP last month but he said it should settle and not to do that if we want to ttc, but I just don't know how long it might take to settle down and it's really hard to find people who have had similar issues post miscarriage as lots of people seem to cycle relatively normally afterwards :( any help or advice would be so gratefully appreciated.

Hello, marking my place too.
Still waiting for first period after mc on 22nd April
Good luck all x

Hi @JoJo58995 I'm sorry to hear about your loss and the prolonged uncertainty. I don't have any advice unfortunately but didn't want to read and run. Hopefully someone else might have some useful advice and the bleeding all settles down soon!

Hi ladies, I had an MVA 3 days ago so early days but will be TTC again ASAP, not really sure how long to wait! Fingers crossed for everyone.

Hi @jojo58995 I'm so sorry you are going through this. I am increasingly angry as I read people's stories with how bad care after miscarriage is. We should not have no choice but to 'bleed it out' or just wait and wait with no reassurance. If men went through this I guarantee there would be scans after a miscarriage at the very least. And if they bled for weeks and weeks non stop they wouldn't just be told to wait. This happens to a friend of mine after a D and C and 6 weeks later they discovered it was an ectopic after all and not a miscarriage. I'm. It saying this is the case with you at all as this is very rare I think and it's much more likely things are just settling but it does happen. I have no medical knowledge at all but I really don't think going on the pill for a couple of months will affect fertility. I would be tempted to go and make a massive fuss and tell them how awful this is and how upset you are and how you are not coping and see if that helps. It's so awful that it comes to this and we have to 'not cope' and put so much effort into getting support. My brother (30 year old white man) has health anxiety and while I'm not belittling the illness he has you wouldn't believe the expensive procedures he has had for no reason but to put his mind at rest when we all know there is nothing physically wrong with him.
Sorry I hope this does not just come out as my ranting at you!
Xxxxx

@JoJo58995 sounds similar to me only longer. My bleeding
Asked from 17th feb to 17th April. I had retained product that was found by an internal scantHt was the beginning of March I didn't get my BFN till beginning of April. It. At be worth checking to see if you have an infection ? I had a swab done but it came back clear but in the past I have had bleeding in between periods that turned out to be an Infection.
I also have a cervical erosion which may have contributed to my bleeding. I've also started spotting a week before AF and after DTD something that didn't happen prior to MMC x

Hope you can make sense of message !🙄

Can I join? I had retained products after an erpc. Has taken about 3 months to get a negative test but finally I have!

@Smilingdonkey I was only saying to hubby earlier that I feel a bit left to deal with it all without any info on what is normal. The EPU were amazing with their aftercare while I was still getting positives, but once I had a negative they said I needed to see my GP about the continued bleeding as there wasn't anything they could do. Then the GP said it should stop and to wait for another 4-6 weeks....perhaps it will but it isn't showing any signs of that currently. The EPU said we were safe to ttc once I'd had my first period, and we have been DTD because I thought it had all stopped but I can't believe I could even be ovulating with all of this going on, and I do worry about what sort of lining I could even be building up to support a pregnancy if I did somehow manage to conceive!

@Dipsy77 I'm sorry you had months of it too! Did they scan you to confirm everything was complete or did they go on you getting a bfn? I wondered about whether I could have an infection....I plan to speak to my GP tomorrow and ask them whether they will investigate for me. I don't know what they will be able to do with everything going on at the moment but I can at least ask. I read about cervical erosions but I don't know much about them, how did you find out that you had one?

@BenScalesIsAGod I'm sorry you've had months before your bfn but I'm glad its finally arrived!

I feel a bit abandoned too. The staff were all lovely and luckily for me I have had no ongoing issues. Told to wait for BFN if I wanted but only for dating. Had a random letter from hospital 2 weeks after my MM saying I needed antibiotics. I had no infection i was aware of, I rang up and they said yes I needed them as had tested positive to aerobes? Nobody knew if results were from blood, urine or vaginal swab or what the infection was. I ve took them anyway and hope that whatever it is has gone and that next time it won't be an issue. Would be interested to know if this ?infection was a factor or if the infection was caused by the MMC being there for 3 weeks before I knew x

@JoJo58995 I found out about the erosion during a smear about 15 years ago. When they did the internal scan they saw retained product that couldn't be seen on an abdominal scan,at that point I was still getting positive tests. I've never had any issues with my erosion but thinking now I may have to have it I corterised as it's starting to cause issues for me x

@jojo5895 I think I would feel the same in your situation. Definately get on the phone to your doctor tomorrow and let us know how you get on xxxx

I wish i'd understood the whole wait for your first period thing. Nobody told me to take a test or wait to TTC or anything so I merrily looked up that it was ok to start straight away and as soon as the bleeding stopped we started having sex. Now it's been a month since the miscarriage started and I have just tested and it's positive - tested again today and it was stronger. Now I'm worried that there is something remaining or that it is possible that I am pregnant again and don't know because I'm assuming it's old hormones. Just did the calculations and If I take first day of bleed as first day of this cycle (as suggested by Google!) then I am due a period around the 20th in 3 days so it's plausible that's what the test is telling me. It's torture as I know the likelihood is that's it's from the last pregnancy. I'll just have to wait.
Really wish someone had explained this to me!

@smilingdonkey it's all a minefield isn't it! I don't want to get your hopes up but if the tests are getting stronger it could be a new pregnancy? It's a really tough one, you'll probably just have to wait and see but if they are still saying you are pregnant in the next few days it might be worth seeking medical advice, in normal times they would probably do blood tests to check you levels but not sure what they would do now.

Hello to the new ladies, sorry you are here but hoping we can share our journeys together.

We might have a spanner in our ttc timeliness, my DH was waiting for an operation pre covid, but was starting to feel really unwell and the doctor has now said they want to do it within 6 weeks. He wants to wait until after then... But we dtd for the first time in two months last night, I think we might keep doing that but not actively "try".