Starting TTC again after missed miscarriage

[Smilingdonkey]

Hi,
Just ovulated for the first time after my missed miscarriage at 13 weeks (baby had stopped growing at 6-7) and wondered if anyone wanted to keep me company while we go through the ups and downs of ttc all over again! ! Xx

@SkyBlue20 I’m going to tell my parents and siblings when I go there, which is soon as I have my hospital appt. I’m still not happy about having to go in and be near people and getting my bloods done as I feel it’s too early. Last time I had my booking appt at the hospital and the baby had already died, which is a harrowing thought.

While I’m not that scared of needles, I’d like to avoid pointless blood tests as I’ve had enough of those in my life and the fact that the 2 blood tests can be merged but they refuse. I mean if I knew things would be ok then I wouldn’t care, but I'm kinda a pessimist as it is so there's no way I can think positively, especially after a MMC (which is what the midwife told me to do).

Also to add to my pregnancy issues, since last month my BMI has dropped, so now I’m classed as underweight (18.3) even though I feel like I’m eating normally (appetite has been only slightly lower) and you wouldn’t be able to tell by looking at me as I'm short anyway. I mentioned it to the midwife (she reminded me when she joked about gaining weight in lockdown) and I have an E-consultation with my GP to talk about other stuff too. I’m only less than 1.5kg lighter than last month, but it makes such a difference to BMI! The professionals may not think it's a concern seeing as its not a drastic loss so we'll see. Maybe it’s a sign I do need to go stay with my mum and eat her yummy food lol.

I realise how this may sound, but I hope it doesn't seem like I am bragging that I'm pregnant and skinny BTW, I'm really not. I'm just quite concerned. I'm kinda obsessed with weighing myself TBH hence why any changes (either up or down) are brought to my attention quick time and I monitor it.

Hi all, I need a little advice. I had a MM on 27th May. Was 12 weeks but baby stopped developing after around 5 weeks. I got my period on 25th June which was unusually long for me (7 days) and since I've been spotting black blood. Should I be worried? I should be ovulating soon but no mucus or anything showing on OPKs. I'm really eager to try again ASAP! Thanks

@LRboop Hi, sorry about your loss. Did you have a negative pregnancy test following your MMC or have you been scanned since?

Thanks @PurplePansy05. I didn't do a pregnancy test, thought it was such a head melter to wish for a negative result! Yes, I got scanned two weeks after the miscarriage, and got the all clear. I bled for around another 2 weeks, then 2 weeks later I got my period. I googled black spotting and it's not normal if it's 7 days after your period. I just made a doc appointment for tomorrow so just wondering if anyone knows of this. I'd say I'm stressing so much for ovulating it's being delayed.

Hi @LRboop, sorry for your loss. I have no idea about the spotting, it's good that you've got a drs appointment.

@PurplePansy05 well done on the run! I've never skipped a rest day as such, but I do go for a walk on the in between days, so not exactly resting. I'm sure it would be fine.

@Sakura54 well I've got the opposite problem, I'm still trying to get my bmi below 25! I am also obsessed. I weigh myself every day, and try to work out why it's gone up or down or not.
Would definitely advocate eating yummy food if you can. I am sure it's probably all the stress, hope the dr is helpful and nice.

Having a strange day, as my younger two are back at nursery today, so the house is very quiet.

@LRBoop OK, so if you got scanned it's unlikely you have any retained products. It sounds like it's either some old blood still finding its way out if it's so dark or perhaps your hormones are still not quite where they need to be. I think that's probably nothing to worry about, but it's good you're having a check over tomorrow just in case. Make sure you tell them all the details to ensure it's not anything else related to female health. Try not to get too concerned.

@Threnody Thanks! I'll see how I feel tomorrow. It's interesting how it affects your muscles, I could tell straight away my body was working harder than during a continuous jog.

Thanks so much @PurplePansy05 @Threnody

That's made me feel better. I don't have any other symptoms (fever, pain etc) so hopefully it's just my period taking ages. I used to have a short cycle but I'd say the pregnancy and MM have changed that. Glad I'm going to doc anyways, no harm.

Was reading this thread and I totally agree with the advice to go to therapy. I went for years and found it so helpful. I had three sessions after my MM and was great. I find myself having to mind the other person when I talk about my loss (say I'm OK, don't worry about me etc) but with a therapist you can lay it all out and just think of yourself, let them mind you.

Sending baby dust to you all, this TTC is rough...

Hi ladies! Hope everyone’s okay? Monday’s are always a bit crap but I also sometimes like them being a new fresh week to try to focus on little positives. I’ve had a few days off here as had lots of nice plans with friends, done me the world of good! Had more drinks than I planned on Saturday but I knew I hadn’t ovulated so thought why not I’m obviously not pregnant yet. Then 5.30am Sunday (very hungover) & CD24 - BOOM, static smiley! Woke DH up to DTD, he wasn’t too pleased afterwards when he was having to get our daughter up for the day so I could sleep the drinks off It’s been years since I done that! Was very much needed though. So @PurplePansy05 you were right about the late ovulation, thank you for recommending I keep testing. We DTD today too so suppose we’ll find out soon. Not sure if AF will now be later than my app says, or still at the ‘usual’ time 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Poppy10121 So sorry you’ve been feeling low. Some great advice from the others, I’ve also heard CBT & talking therapy is life changing.

@LRboop Sorry for your loss. I didn’t have black spotting, but I had random spotting every other day or so for nearly my whole first cycle (post MVA & first period). I think it’s normal for our bodies & cycles to take a little while to adjust. Let us know how you get on at the doctors xx

Thank you all for helpful comments, I am going to give the helpline a ring today after work. Like everyone else here, I got absolutely no follow up at all from the hospital, just some information about the Miscarriage Association. I think each time I get my period it brings it all back and I am really struggling. It must be partly hormonal, 3 days into AF I am starting to feel a bit more in control.

I've ordered vitamins for my OH to take now and decided to upgrade to CB ovulation tests this month instead of the cheap ones, so trying to feel positive about taking actions to help us. And in my final week of Couch to 5k this week, can't believe how quickly they get you running for 30 mins and it seems ok!

Is anyone trying to actively lose weight while TTC? I put on loads of weight at the start of lockdown when pregnancy meant shielding and I didn't move off the sofa for a month. I need to lose about a stone but not sure if it will interfere with conception chances? I wouldn't try to crash diet or anything, just get there slowly.

@Poppy10121 I lost a stone that I just regained in two months this year, whilst TTC. It actually helps with TTC and a good diet is particularly important with regaining your hormone balance. Exercise really does help with MH too, I know it sounds like a such a slogan, but I think together with counselling, healthy food and diet is what has helped me get back to normality, 100%.

After I lost weight, I got pregnant pretty much immediately twice. Sadly it didn't work out, but that's entirely unrelated.

*healthy food and exercise I meant

@Starfish762 Ah, perfect timing! 🤞 for you, it sounds like a great weekend all round. Just what you needed! I reckon your AF will be late (if it arrives) by at least 10 days now, it'll probably be CD37-38. At least you can stop the OPKs now, bloody fortune isn't it! Thinking about it, OPKs put me off POAS so much that I just gave up with very early hpts. How many times can you possibly do it, I'd like to use a toilet as normal for once, haha!

@PurplePansy05 thanks for that, will help stop me getting my hopes up thinking AF is late 😬

Just done a Boots order and ordered a pack of FRERs, my heart is pounding, I feel SO nervous - and that's only ordering them! It's ok though, I've probably just tempted fate and AF will arrive tomorrow, just as the tests do... I really don't want to test 😬

Off to catch up...

@Starfish762 I'm going by what's happened to me after late ovulation. 🤞 it'll be the same for you, plenty of time to implant then! Come on, two lines! ➕

Thanks @Starfish762, will do

@PurplePansy05 @Threnody I also had no idea running belts were even a thing until I saw someone on Instagram with one and thought 'that would make my life so much easier!' It's basically a small, thin pouch that straps around your waist that you can use for your phone, keys, etc. I usually run with my phone in my hand (for the music and tracking apps) but the other day was running in the rain and it was so awkward with my phone getting wet and slipping and my bottle of water in my other hand, it pushed me to finally order one. Have used it once, it's amazing! Only got a cheap one from Amazon (like £8) but it does the job!

Well done on doing your first run, PurplePansy 👏🏼 I only do two runs a week as I have dodgy knees so don't want to go too hard but I imagine doing consecutive days every now and then would be ok. Just don't overdo it - part of my knee problems stem from overdoing it running and not doing any strengthening exercises. So now I have a strict physio routine alongside running 😬

@Sakura54 Sending huge amounts of love, it seems like things are really difficult right now and that is completely understandable. Just take one day at a time and put one foot in front of the other - whatever happens, you'll be ok. You're clearly really strong to have gotten through what we've all been through in the past. I'm sure everything will be absolutely fine but just know that if it's not, you will survive it as you already have once before.

@LRboop I'm so sorry, I can't really help, but black blood is old blood, so I'd think that's not too much to be worried about. Glad you have an appointment to discuss it. I'm so sorry for your loss 💕

@Threnody Hope you've enjoyed the peace and quiet! Must be very odd after a full three months of having them there all the time!

@Starfish762 Sounds like you had a great weekend and well done on catching peak ovulation even with a hangover!! Fingers crossed now!

@Poppy10121 Hope the call to the helpline helps 💕 I think in terms of losing weight while TTC, as long as you aren't on any crazy diets (which I know you said you won't be) and it's done in a slow and sensible way, it can only be beneficial really - lots of veg and some exercise is a good thing.

@Sakura54 I'd love to lose 1.5kg, but I too would be anxious if it happened with no explanation. Definitely speak to them. Do you think it might be stress-related? Are you keeping hydrated as well? Could it be that you had water retention in your previous pregnancy?

@SkyBlue20 Thanks. I actually have a belt like that, but I didn't know it was called running belt 😂😂🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

When are you testing?

@PurplePansy05 Never? 🤷🏻‍♀️😂 I just don't think I'm pregnant so would rather not have the disappointment of the negative but will probably test either Wednesday. I'll be CD32 by Wed and last time I tested on CD35, which was 15DPO and got a nice strong line right away so would ideally like to wait until Sat but once the test is here, I won't be able to help myself. Husband is also dying for me to test and I said Wed was probably the earliest I would so would feel bad if I made him wait any longer 🙈

(That's assuming AF doesn't show, I'm a bit crampy so think she might)

@Starfish762 if you ovulated late you'll usually have your period late, your luteal phase shouldn't vary much each cycle (unless you're me). Fx, sounds like good timing.

@Poppy10121 I am trying to lose weight, I've lost 1 stone and 4 pounds so far, hoping to lose another half a stone really. Will be ttc from next cycle. I'm following a low carb high fat diet, which is supposed to be good for progesterone levels.

@SkyBlue20 I got my amazon subscription delivery yesterday, including a pack of hpt, a bit early since I won't need them for at least a month! Fx you get a nice bfp with your tests. I always get crampy whether I'm pregnant or getting af.
Think I'll have to get a running belt, sounds very useful.
I did enjoy the peace, especially after I rang nursery to check they were OK. Though by about 5 I was quite anxious to collect them.

@SkyBlue20 I’m excited for you, it all sounds promising!

@threnody I didn’t know that about diet and progesterone, interesting! That’s amazing progress you’ve made! What kind of things are you eating in a typical day? The only time I did low carb before was for my wedding diet and I basically just ate salad leaves and prawns for a month, not too keen to repeat 😁

@PurplePansy05 I think I eat quite “healthy” (nutritionally) - lots of fruit and veg and not much junk food - but I used to do a lot of exercise pre-pandemic both with my cycle commute and gym - and I now just sit on my arse at home apart from Couch to 5K. So I probably need to adjust my calorie intake and stop baking 🙈
I rang the helpline this evening and have been referred for counselling so should get a first session this week they said 🤞I am feeling a lot calmer today so I think it’s partly the hormones messing with my head. My period seems to have stopped already after 3 days so now of course that’s making me anxious that I’m not back to normal after all... anyone else have much shorter cycles after MMC?

Re diet, Mediterranean diet is supposed to be brilliant when TTC (and generally), olive oil, veg, fish, protein, antioxidants etc.

@SkyBlue20 I'm on CD32, still first cycle after my MVA. I hope this cycle isn't too long. I'm thinking about testing later this week too, but I don't think it's happened this cycle so I might wait it out. I'm feeling heavy down there this eve.

Aww I bet, @Threnody! Was it nice to have them home (for a bit at least 😂)?

@Poppy10121 Amazing about the counselling, really glad it’s so quick and hope it’s helping somewhat knowing that you have that plan in place 💕 I think cycles can be a bit messed up for a bit after a MC so I wouldn’t worry too much, it’ll all settle soon enough.

@PurplePansy05 I’m with you on not thinking it’s happened. I can’t tell if I actually think that or if I’m protecting myself though 🙈 my symptoms are very mild so think that’s why I’m leaning towards thinking that AF is going to arrive any minute now.

@SkyBlue20 yes, lovely have them home, they're not back until Thursday now.

@Poppy10121 good news about counselling, that's very quick.
Re periods, mine have been much longer since mmc, I guess it just messes everything up.

I eat lots of cheese, meat, fish, eggs and veg.
So for breakfast I'll have some cheese, or bacon and egg, or occasionally I make my own muesli from seeds and sultanas. Lunch maybe chicken soup, or a breadless burger, or salad, dinner just normal but without the carbs, so spag bol without the spag, or fish and peas but no chips, or curry without rice. I have had cauliflower rice instead sometimes. I also make room for a couple of chocolate buttons every day, cos I need my chocolate! It's surprisingly easy to stick to, just weird that fruit and fruit juice is bad, and if I want a treat like yoghurt or an apple I have to plan around it a bit.