TTC after miscarriage - March 2020

[TerribleImagination]

Hey everyone 👋🏻

This thread is for anyone TTC or testing in March after a miscarriage.

So sorry if you find yourself here, but you’re in good company ❤️

None of what you have said is petty or irrelevant! Loss is such a huge thing, and there are so many big aspects of losing a baby but each of the smaller things hurt just as much - especially when you just realise them out of nowhere. It's awful what we have all been through and we are allowed to feel crappy - none of those feelings are petty. Just let yourself feel them

And especially make sure you express them on these threads, as everyone else knows what you are going through

Dont know why i tested again this morning at 12dpo....must be glutton for punishment as it was ofcourse bfn 😭

Now just waiting for AF which will arrive either saturday or sunday!

@fizzl yep now it looks like I will be 29 minimum having my first baby (I started ttc at 27 so feels like ages!!)

@Annny27 i tested again too 🙄. I stared at it at every angle, under different lights and eventually I could see a shadow where the second line should be - but I'm not kidding myself it's clearly not there 😒

Ah thanks @Whiffle77. I'm just trying to keep some perspective and ultimately all I want is a healthy baby whether or not it's 2020 or I'm over 30 and that's what I need to remember

@Fizzl I am convinced we are the same person 🤣 I got my phone torch our shining it through and like you I could see a shadow but I see them in every test haha

Ahh @Annny27 I'd forgotten about shining torches. Guess what I've just had to go and do 🤦🏼‍♀️😂 no different. Can still the shadow where the line should be but it's definitely not pink

@Fizzl @Annny27 ahhhhh I was so hoping I'd see you both get bfps this morning. It's so frustrating. I haven't dared test again today as I don't think I can bear to see another BFN so I'm just going to wait for AF to show. I also shined my phone torch on my FRER yesterday. I couldn't even see the shadow of the test line so you got more than I did Fizzl haha!

I am 31 in June and I can't believe that that's the earliest I will become a mum. Always thought I'd be pregnant before I was 30...I was with my ex partner for 8 years and I thought we'd get married have children but then we broke up when I was 28... so that blew all my plans out of the water! Luckily I met my DP very soon and we've been together 2 years now and we're both on the same page in wanting a family. Just hope it happens soon!

Hope all the ladies who recently got their bfps are doing well? @ChampooPapi @scrumdiddly123 @triedandtestedteacher @Whiffle77 (sorry if I've missed anyone out!) xxxxxx

I'll be 35 girls before my first comes, so wouldnt worry about age too much haha! It's all just a number.
I'm ok thank you, just so hoping it sticks! A bit anxious about it happening again but not as badly as I thought I might be. I'm also panicking I will be house bound for the whole pregnancy, depending on what happens with covid! But we dont know anything yet so trying not to panic! Tentatively very pleased...

Well AF has just made a surprise appearance a few days early. Serves me right for testing early, if I'd just waited until 12dpo i wouldn't have wasted two tests 😂.

Oh well, off I trot to the April thread 😞 where I might just linger as we are thinking of waiting a little while now. Purely based on me needing more hospital appointments and blood tests, it just doesn't seem wise for us to be so reliant on the nhs right now. Neither of us are in jobs where we can isolate either and I just think the stress and anxiety it's possibly going to cause is too much. I'm not in anyway condoning anyone else who continue ttc by the way, if our circumstances were different we would very much still be ttc as I'm not particularly worried about the virus itself, it's more the bigger picture for us. This week I've been panicking at the idea of just leaving the house let alone having to regularly go to the hospital 😔. If we could isolate it would be a no brainer.

I'm feeling strangely neutral about it all. I'm sure we would have been thrilled to get a BFP but also not too disheartened now. I think it's forced me out of trying to be in control and think I can accept now I can't be a mum in 2020 nor until I'm 31 and it takes the pressure away a little. Gives me 12 months to crack 2021 💪

Ohhh bugger I'm sorry @Fizzl. I think you're making a very noble decision there and being very strong about the whole thing as I know how much you want this. It can't have been an easy decision to come to so I hope you're okay. Just know that it will happen for you when you and your DH decide the time is right. We'll all still be here for you!! xxxx

Glad you're doing okay @Whiffle77. Keeping everything crossed this one is a healthy sticky bean for you!! Please do let us know how you are getting on from time to time! And hopefully some more of us will join you on the pregnancy boards soon xxx

Sorry to hear that @Fizzl it's definitely a very hard time to be ttc at the minute (or to do anything really!). Glad you are feeling neutral!
Thanks @milscookie hope to only see you again in the pregnancy board xx

Thanks guys 😘. We're not completely decided yet but looking likely we will skip a month or two. As sad as I am that we will be getting so close to what would have been our due date (can't believe how quick it's gone, I hope it goes this quick with a successful pregnancy!) i know it will be the right decision and I'll just have to suck it up if I'm not pregnant by then. We're just gona see what happens over the next 10 days or so before making any final decisions.

I'm quite a believer in things happening when it's meant to be 🤞

All the luck to everyone still waiting to test this month 💐

Sorry thay AF arrived @Fizzl :( I am not sure what we will do next month tbh whether we will carry on ttc or not. We need to have that discussion really. Yep june 3rd is my due date and also the month that we started ttc in 2019!!!

@MilsCookie I am waiting for AF now, not wasting anymore tests. 0 pregnancy symptoms. Doesnt stop me googling "bfn at 12dpo then bfp" haha

@Whiffle77 all the best for you and your baby. You are right age doesng matter but you know when you have something in your head that you want to do something by a certain time or date. That's what's going through my head

Anyone else waiting to test or waiting for AF or is it just me and @milscookie left hah?

Oh of course, I completely get that. It's the same with all the milestones for this year when you shouldve been pregnant or with a baby! It is hard, I wasnt saying its not - just that time is on your side

@whiffle77 I doubt my husband thinks "oh she would have been x months pregnant by now" but I do haha

Any symptoms yet?

Ahhh no, I dont think so either - but he is sad when I tell him I wouldve been X weeks etc. Hes a good egg really, it must be hard to be on the other side too I guess.
No, nothing, just very hungry but I think that's the isolation haha - plus I am always greedy!

@MilsCookie I'm feeling a bit stressed. Had some brown discharge yesterday and today which happened with the miscarriage but just got worse. Helpless really. Hate the idea that it might be trying to grow and my body might just reject it. I'm taking baby aspirin, my pregnacare and I've cut down my caffeine. Not much more I can do

Thanks @MilsCookie I’m ok, just in denial still. I don’t think I’ll let myself believe it, the only thing I can see happening is another MC. I hate that I can’t feel excited or hopeful. I’ve spoken to the GP and they’ve referred me to EPU who have said they’ll scan me at 6 weeks so waiting to hear from them.
I was manically POAS and analysing every line which was causing me so much stress so have told myself I’m not testing again. What will be will be x

Wow that was a real pity post, sorry!
We had also decided that we would stop trying after this month due to what’s going on in the world so I guess that’s adding to my uncertainty.
Keeping fingers crossed for those still waiting for AF xx

@triedandtestedteacher sorry you’re feeling stressed. I’ve had some brown/pink spotting too. I’ve had this with all 5 of my pregnancies though (3 healthy babies and 2 MC) so it definitely doesn’t always mean bad news. I know exactly how you’re feeling xx

@scrumdiddly123 I thought about ringing and asking for an early scan but I don't feel there's much point. I had two with my miscarriage and was told everything was fine and a healthy heartbeat so whatever they said now wouldn't reassure me much. You're right though spotting is not always bad news. I had it with my daughter too and she's asleep upstairs

@triedandtestedteacher ah see I haven’t seen a heartbeat with either of my MC so I think that’s a massive thing for me. But of course as you say doesn’t mean you’re in the clear!
Have you moved on to another group from here? I’m not that familiar with mumsnet and don’t want to clog this thread up and annoy anyone by still being here x

No probably we should move on though! You're right

AF now a day late but tests could not be any whiter. Wish AF would just hurry the F up so I can have a nice glass of wine!!

I really hope you pregnant ladies have lovely healthy babies. I got pregnant after my MC so I understand the constant checking your underwear every time you go to the loo etc. I read somewhere that you should treat each pregnancy as a different one. It's unfortunate that your previous experiences have taken some of the joy out of finding out you're now pregnant, but this is absolutely wonderful news and I hope you enjoy it as much as you can. Much love and best wishes 🌈❤️

@Whiffle77 huge congratulations 🙌 I am really happy to log back on and see your bfp! Fantastic news 🌈♥️