TTC after miscarriage - March 2020

[TerribleImagination]

Hey everyone 👋🏻

This thread is for anyone TTC or testing in March after a miscarriage.

So sorry if you find yourself here, but you’re in good company ❤️

Bit of a pity post....my best friend popped round today as she wanted to rule out pregnancy as she’s been feeling crappy and knew I had a ton of cheap tests.
She’s on the pill, neither her or her partner want a baby yet and low and behold she did the test in front of me and those two perfect and very dark lines appeared 😔
She’s broken it to her partner and they’re going to keep the baby so I acted happy for her, and I know I am really, but f*#k that hurt.

@Moominmiss Eurgh that really really sucks, I’m so sorry you had that to deal with this evening 😢 Honestly I cannot get my head round how easy it is for some people to get pregnant! How is that easy for some?! 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’ll be testing around 4th March

@TerribleImagination I know right?! Like she was nearly in tears because she didn’t want to be pregnant, and I was there dying inside wishing that test was mine!
There’s me and my partner trying to make sure we’re both healthy, dtd enough, taking all the supplements etc, and she was there petrified because she’s been getting drunk every weekend, smoking, and doing coke!!
I just told her to start taking folic acid and to get herself booked in so she can start getting the right care.
Her main concern after deciding she’d keep the baby, has been that they have a holiday booked for 2 weeks time, and a festival in the summer. Both of which they want to get drunk at 😔

@Moominmiss that's hard! I would be upset too, does she know your situation? If she does I think she's been a bit insensitive. Two of my close friends have announced pregnancies over the past few weeks. Different circumstances tho as they're very much wanted pregnancies so I am genuinely happy for them but it doesn't take away that feeling of it should be me. I had a good cry one night (after my cousin also gave birth and the same day as one of the pregnancy announcements - seeing a new born baby plus a scan photo tipped me!) and my husband gave me a pep talk about how we can't change what's happened now so we just need to stay positive and move forward etc etc. He's so rationale and logical sometimes it's frustrating 😂 but I've felt better since.

Oh @Moominmiss that is awful and so insensitive of her!! You poor thing. Hope you are feeling better today.

@Fizzl yes, unfortunately she knows my situation. As my best friend she was one of the few people we told when I fell pregnant and she supported me through the miscarriage.
She even text me last night saying I’m really sorry it should have been you first, but somehow it made me feel worse, not better. Like it felt patronising. I know she’d be mortified if she knew how she’d made me feel though.
My oh is also very logical. I was in a down mood last night, but trying to act ok, thought I was covering it well, and my oh spotted it though and said ‘are you grumpy because is pregnant and you’re not’. Like he’s spot on but hearing him say it so bluntly made me feel like shit. Again I know he didn’t mean to upset me. He’s just so practical and while it’s one of the things I love about him, it’s also one of the things that frustrates me the most!

@Whiffle77 thank you. I didn’t sleep at all well. I just kept going over in my head that she’s pregnant so another person close to me I’m going to have to watch go through what I should be going through. It’s going to make a bfn this month even harder to swallow 😔

Sorry for the down posts. I’ll pick up again. I need some positives from you guys!

Oh and she took my pee pot with her 🙈 I have one pot I use to pee in and dip tests and she used it (it was clean lol) and took it with her. So now I don’t have anything I can use to dip my ovulation tests 😂

That's so hard to see @Moominmiss :( as much as I am usually happy for others and the not to be jealous, I have to admit that at the moment I am dreading someone I know announcing a pregnancy. And I cant believe how selfish that sounds to say out loud:( hate myself for being jealous!

I have one pee pot as well @moominmiss 🤣

Hi everyone, joining into March as AF came early last night. Glass of wine tonight and here’s hoping for a better month!
Thanks @TerribleImagination for making another thread!

@Moominmiss that’s an awful situation...she sounds like she’s being really insensitive even turning up at yours to do the test in first place and then to talk about wanting to get drunk on hols at at concert🤯

My bloke is logical too, which is helpful and pulls me back into reality a lot!!

I also have a pee pot haha!

Sorry @leok83 but enjoy the wine

Morning.

I'll start off by saying I had a termination in January when I was 7 weeks. It's was the most agonising decision I've ever made and regret it completely. All the reasons for doing so seem so insignificant in hindsight. I think part of the reason for the termination was not having an open and honest conversation with my OH about my real feelings and just going along with initial feelings. We've since had a really good chat and decided we would like another child. We've not been actively trying but not, not trying.
I think i had a chemical this month as I was getting faint positives on pregnancy tests, and this was after confirmed negatives after termination. I'm now on CD 3 and i know I should really give my body a rest for a month or 2 before ttc but I'm 35 now and really conscious of my ticking biological clock. Does anyone have any experiences of pregnancy after a chemical and was all ok?

@Moominmiss That absolutely sucks, I’m so sorry! I’d feel exactly the same as you, especially with the text. I mean, it’s not hard to get yourself to a shop for a test eh? 🤷🏻‍♀️ It’ll be all our months soon, I’m throwing all the positivity out there ❤️🌈

@Anny27 @Whiffle77 @Leok83 @TerribleImagination I feel so much better being able to say how I feel here. I knew you would all understand where My head is at. I feel like the worst person in the world for not being happy for her.

Now to find myself another pee pot 😂🤔

@Moominmiss the text she sent is like rubbing salt in the wound. I would maybe be honest with her and just say you wish her well but you're finding it hard hearing about her pregnancy right now. Hopefully she would take the hint.

I know what you mean about them being quite blunt sometimes. My husband started by asking why I was crying and I was like seriously?! But he just didn't really get it and he seemed kind of confused about why I wouldn't just be feeling happy for them. In his mind now it's in the past and we've just got to move on. I told him it wasn't that simple and he did recognise how I was feeling but I just don't think their emotions (and hormones!) are quite as caught up in it as ours.

@whiffle77 yep I've had lots of reality checks from him too! Which is good because I do need it sometimes 😂

@Moominmiss we're here for you, it's so hard. And to top it all there's someone who's just posted about actually choosing to terminate on just after your posts. I understand they regret it and must be really struggling, but timing was bloody awful.

@Moominmiss don’t feel bad about it..I was actually thinking ur a much better person than me cause I wouldn’t have let her in to my house to test and would have told her straight off the bat that she was being totally out of order..and the pee pot would have tipped me over the edge🤣

My apologies to @moominmiss. I didn't read through all of the posts and didn't see how insensitive my post may have been.
I was just looking for advice and somewhere to write down my feelings as it's not always easy to talk face to face to anyone.
I wish you all the best in your ttc journey, hoping you get your BFP. Magic baby dust to you xx

@Toddteenmum dont wlrry about it, you acknowledged that it was a little insensitive so its all good. I just saw it and felt bad for her as well as a few fellow posters who have been trying a while now. All the best to you and we are here for you too

@Fizzl I did feel like it was pretty insensitive of her Tbh. She’s text me about half hour ago saying her partner is now saying he definitely doesn’t want the baby etc etc and she’s asking for my advice. I’m trying to be the best friend I can be to her but in all honesty all I want to do is tell her to go find someone else to wallow with about this. I’d be over the moon to be her right now and she’s there thinking about getting rid of it. I do totally get that there are people who make these decisions fir whatever reasons and I would never ever judge. Nobody can compare their situation to another, but I’m just like ugh, really?! Talking to the wrong person here 🤷🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

@ChampooPapi thank you, honestly, thank you. Last night all I wanted to do was scream into a pillow. As much as my oh is there for me I know only women that have gone through, or going through what we have would be able to truly understand how I felt so I really am so unbelievably thankful to have all you wonderful lot.

@Leok83 I was actually just kind of taken aback by her wanting to test with me. And if I’m honest I don’t think I really thought she’d test positive. With being on the pill I just assumed she was coming down with something and that would account for the symptoms she’d had. I think I’m going to limit my contact with her for today at least. I need to get my own head in a better place. I’d been feeling fairly positive about my hopeful ovulation and stuff and now I know I’m just going to be more depressed than ever if I get a bfn in 2 weeks!

@Toddteenmum don’t worry about it. I’m glad you’ve found somewhere to talk about how you feel. While you might be here for slightly different reasons than most of us, the outcome is still the same. A loss of a baby.
I hope you’re able to find peace and get your happy ever after like all of us are searching for.

Xx

Hi all, I’ve joined from the February thread. I’m CD12 although my last cycle (first one after mc) was actually shorter than my usual cycles so just planning to DTD lots the next week and cross my fingers!

@moominmiss that is so hard, I don’t think I’d have been able to hide my feelings from her, especially with her talking about not keeping it I think I would have politely asked her to talk to someone else! Maybe give her some space and try to focus on yourself for a few days

Hey all waves just wanted to join from the Jan/Feb boards although I've been keeping quiet for the last month. I'm currently in the 2ww (6dpo) but DP and I have decided we're not going to do any early testing this month so I won't be testing until I'm at least 3 days late (although I'm not feeling too hopeful this month so AF will probably have arrived by then...) My cycles are 34 days long so I'm not due until 3rd March...which means if I stick to what I've said/AF doesn't arrive I won't test til 6th March!

Sending lots of baby dust to you all xxxxxxxxx

After advice. I'm on first 'proper' cycle since MC, CD17 and no signs of ovulation at all! I understand the cycle following MC would be all over the place but though this cycle would be back to normal. All OPK been negative. Have other people had longer cycles even after one AF?

@MilsCookie I am 5dpo and wont test till the 3rd so similar timings:D good luck lovely xxx

Hi all, just joining from Feb thread. I’ve been trying to relax about ttc so have not been checking in so much. I’m in the TWW now and app says to test March 1st but will probably wait a bit longer. Trying not to get my hopes up.

@Moominmiss can’t believe your friend is asking for your advice if she knows your situation, so insensitive