TTC for the Over 40s

[birthdaycake]

The first thread I've ever started.

Me age 41 and TTC since mmc in June. Anyone else out there.

Thanks hellymelly

Good news here, I have a positive OV test today! A bit later than normal CD 18 but hey!

Yay Cece! So what's your 'window' for bding then?
I worked out that if the egg is released 24-48 hours after the positive and then the egg survives for 6-12 hours, you have to bd for two or three days after the result.
We were supposed to bd on day 15 and 16, but day 15 (yesterday) was a wash-out, just ran out of time and opportunities because I didn't get home until 7:30 had dinner and then DS wouldn't go to sleep, until 10:15PM!
Today is day 16, so I would like to bd today, so we'll see what DP has to say on the matter.

LOL rowingboat. If only DHs knew how much planning went into it!

We have BD every night since CD 8 except CD 9 and CD 14. Planning on keeping it up (no pun intended) for at least another 3 nights! [faints with exhaustion]

Wow Cece, I'm not worthy!
We did manage day 16, so officially bding was twice on day 12 nothing on day 13 once on day 14 and once on day 16. Not a patch on you Cece. LOL!

Good job DH is younger than me LOL

Mine is nine years younger, but it doesn't make much difference. Before we had DS it was a different story, but now we don't have that much time together, he has always gone to the gym three or four times a week so we don't see each other until late, when I am half asleep. I told him, it's not the quality, it's the quantity.

Tell him he has to do his work out at home for a while

I don't think that would help him throw the discus!

maybe not!

I did it!! I went to the GP and told him about my unhappiness over the consultant's contradictory advice.
He said he could either write to the original consultant and ask him to meet me and go over his comments again. (Boooo!] Or he could write and request another consultant looks at my x-ray and gives me a second opinion - if they have all the details, and consider me for unblocking. (Hooraaay!)
He wasn't sure of exactly what records are held, so I suppose it could mean another HSG, which is fine by me.
The GP thought I was absolutely right to question the conflicting advice, particularly as it is so important to me and time is pressing. So I feel quite happy that I have acted. He said he would write a letter then send it to me and if I were happy with it then he would send it.
It wasn't as bad as I thought at all, what a nice doctor!
I was supposed to go for an IVF meeting this week, but the letter with the details has gone AWOL and they haven't been returning my calls to confirm the times, so I will have to phone again next week. Not very impressed with the lack of contact - the phone seems to be constantly engaged and when you leave a message, they don't call. Grr!
It doesn't look good for the IVF right now, prices have gone up so much and I just don't want more debt right now, I don't mind sleepless nights for a baby, but not because of worry about money.
Oh and it's day 19 for us, so just over a week until AF arrives - I bet.

Oh well done rowingboat!

I bet you feel better once it has all been clarified. At least you will know you tried your best to get help.

As for IVF - can you not get it on the NHS? I thought they said everyone would get 3 cycles who needed it?

Thank you! I do feel much better, even if there isn't an option for the tube to be unblocked, at least I know 100%.
I don't qualify for any help on the NHS because I have a child and I'm over 35. I'm just too scared about taking on another four grand's worth of debt on top of everything else we have to pay. Imagine if it didn't work - we would be paying a load of money for nothing.
I wonder if you get home IVF DIY kits?
Just watching big brother eviction - I don't watch it that often, but it's always the girls who get voted out, even if the boys are idiots.

Have just eaten a huge chocolate bar - that's not good!
But on the plus side, I have also just downloaded Pilates for dummies, so I can burn it all off.
I'm sure bars of chocolate are a great fertility aid.

Hi Ladies

Have been having a bit of a break from the computer - I seem to be finiding too much frightenging information so decided to try and relax a bit.

Thanks everyone for asking after me - 2 sticky beans still hanging in there - now 9/10 weeks pg (have lost count and believe that to be good news as I am not so paranoid). Feeling quite fantastic really - no nausea (but did not have it with my first 2 dc nor with other pregnancies), tired in the evening but seem to manage quite well during the day. I work mon-thurs so Friday is my day off - spent yesterday pigging out lying on the sofa!

No names yet for little ones except stupid ones - calvin & alvin, huey & louey etc. It looks like they are identical so either 2 more boys to add to the gorgeous 2 I have or 2 little girls (gosh I won't know what to do with those .

3 mums at school asked me yesterday if I am pregnant - obviously I am much larger than if carrying just one! Either that or its the doughnunts . It forced me to tell my boys the news at breakfast this morning (they are terribly excited) but now feel terrified that I will have jinxed things.

I went on to a website telling me about twin pregnancy/birth etc but ended up reading all terrifying information so decided not to read any more. My mother tells me that too much information is not always a good thing!

Had sex with dh yesterday morning (have been abstaining) and then felt worried all day that I might have encouraged a mc - still clinging on though. Lost one at 12 weeks so still got a few more weeks to go before I think I may relax and believe it.

We decided to press on with normal life and got ourselves a kitten 2 weeks ago - she's absolutely gorgeous and I think helps me to relax - I have another little thing to mother and nurture so it helps my anxiety about pregnancy (that's what I keep telling myself anyway).

Keep well all you lovely ladies. This website has helped me enormously over past traumas and current news.

Keeping fingers and toes crossed for us all.

xxxxx

Good to hear all is well minmooch

Hi Min, I am now thinking of silly twin names.
I'm glad to hear you are feeling well, and I think you are doing the right thing by avoiding all those negative things on the internet. As long as you take care of yourself, that's all you can do. Worrying about the babies isn't going to help anyone.
Take it easy!

That's great news min. Makes me feel better about having a crap time.

Crossing everything for you xxx

Fingers crossed cece. Go for it

Good for you rowingboat. You should absolutely try for second opinion to clarify everything.

Really pi@$ed off with myself about not bding. Am now contemplating the use of sperm in fridge / turkey basting options

Hi there

just popped in for a quick catch up. Been so busy with work that I haven't had time to think about ttc
Great to read all your news and well done Rowing for seeing your GP. You must be so relieved to be making some progress.

I have absolutely no idea which day I'm on now - maybe day 59 or something ridiculous. (Wonder if I will ever see an AF again??) Consequently, I've given up wondering when I might ov or when to bd so life actually feels like it used to in the good old days when I didnt worry about ttc!
I must sort out the missing AF I suppose, but I keep thinking that if I take a tablet to bring it on (as suggested by consultant) how do I know when to take it? Supposing I took it just as a fertilised egg was making its way down to implant??

Juicy, Cece, Fruitbowl, Daisy, Xserial,Rowing, lets all hold hands and cross our fingers (but not legs) for some ttc successes ! Positive vibes to us all

Roquefort - how are things with you?

Oops, P.s. Minmooch, its lovely to read about your little sticky twin beans It sounds as though you are doing the right things, not tormenting yourself with the internet and a lovely little kitten to fuss over. I miss having a cat. Maybe thats what I should do. Get a kittie.

Thank you JL2 and Gem2!
JL2 - that turkey baster idea, that's fab! So where would you keep the sperm until you need it?
That's next on the list of DIY fertility treatments, after my DIY IVF at home treatment.
Did you have a good holiday Gem?
I have noticed on other forums I visit that the American TTC'ers list their 'fur babies' which are cats and dogs, quite often they have pictures with hearts and things.
Kittens are very cute though and they are supposed to reduce your stress levels, so might be just the thing for helping with TTC.
I will keep you all posted on what happens with the GP.
It's day 22 for me and I feel PMS coming on. Was quite ratty with poor old DS this morning - he was being a bit ratty as well, but I'm usually a lot calmer with him.
Totally keeping fingers crossed Gem!

Hello everyone, not been on here for ages as things were still unresolved over my scans etc and have not really been feeling like talking to anyone .

Last week i was rescanned and they could only see a yolk sac (at 8+5) so thought it was a missed mc. Anyway over the weekend I started bleeding heavily and mc'ed - scan today showed no sac or anything so it is all complete.

I feel OK now tbh - it is a bit of a relief to have it all sorted and to have avoided an ERPC which I really didn't want to have. We are definitely going to wait until I get my next proper period before we ttc again and at the moment I feel rather unsure about it all - I'm not sure I can face the prospect of another mc, especially as i already have the other 3 children and this whole thing has been hard on them, not that they knew anything but I have not felt well, been upset, short fuse etc... don't want to go there again!

I will catch up with everyone's news later but minmooch, v. glad your twins are doing well and well done rowing for asking for that 2nd opinion!!!

Roque, I'm really sorry to hear that it is not going to be a pg for you.
It is definitely better for you to mc yourself though IMO rather than have some kind of medical intervention and all that fuss. Especially with the infection risks in hospitals.
Your family must be happy to have you back feeling a bit less distracted, but probably still sad! You are right about leaving it until you are ready and the first AF seems a good marker post, but only if you feel psychologically prepared.
Thank you for coming on here and letting us know!
Sending you a big hug.

roque - sorry to hear about your mc. I am not surprised you are going to wait a cycle. Even if your body is healed it is also important to feel emotionally up to it.

Roque I'm soooo sorry that this pg is not to be. Sending you some big hugs and a class of wine.

I've haven't said anything in ages, just been lurking. I've been feeling down since my last af and am now in another 2ww.

I've started the follow-on thread click here

Come and join me over there.

Heron, are you back from hols yet? How was it.

Gem how are you? Thanks for remembering me - no one else does

I am so sorry Roque.

Yes, a classy glass (bottle?) of wine not a bad idea

It is now three weeks since my mmc, and I am starting to feel a bit perkier which is nice and I am ready to fight the big fight - I feel really determined that I am going to have another child no matter what is thrown at me!

Hello fellow 41.5 year old xserialshopper - happy to join the thread.

daisy