TTC for the Over 40s

[birthdaycake]

The first thread I've ever started.

Me age 41 and TTC since mmc in June. Anyone else out there.

Congratulations nonickname and hope it all goes well for you

RL

hello to liztom and welcome.

jiucylucytoo hope you are having a nice time at your mums.

rowingboat sorry af got you . What a lot of decisions with what treatment if any to go for!

RL - sorry your scan looks like bad news. But you never know sometimes miracles do happen. Hope you get hold of DH soon.

minmooch OMG twins!

nonickname congratulations

minmooch - how on earth did I miss that you are having twins!! Wow!! Am v not to have said anything before - how rubbish am I...

RL - please don't worry - you have lots on your plate. Concentrate on yourself and take care of yourself. It's very hard having to go through these things. I have 2 ds and then 3 mc and now expecting twins. I think I can safely say you never know what is around the corner!

Still early days for this pregnancy so i have to temper my excitement with a reality check.

DH is rather shell shocked (actually as am I).

Nonickname - congratulations! Hope all continues to go well for you.

Its true Rowing, you have to look out for yourself and dont worry about offending anyone. Its your body and you've the right to find out as much as you can and lets face it they do make mistakes.
Were your tubes damaged when you got pg with DS? I know what you mean about your DS needing company. Thats what I want for my DD. My DS grew up as an only child as I was a single mum for most of his life and I really didnt want the same for DD.

Roquefort, I'm so sorry about your scan. The not knowing for sure is absolutely horrible. Thinking of you, I know how it feels.

Minmooch and nonickname, congratulations and WOW TWINS!! Thats a shock but exciting I would think!

Hello to Cece too

RL - sorry to hear about the scan. That is rough, having to carry on not knowing. On one hand you want to be positive, on the other you don't want to be too badly let down. Take it easy though, can you do some things to take you mind off, like rent some dvds or something?
Never mind work, at least you are there. They can't really complain!
Thank you for your input about the second opinion!
I know I am a wimp, but have horrid PMS at the moment and am shouting at DP, so I don't think this is the day to phone the GP about a second opinion.
'Give me a second opinion! NOW! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah'! 'Oh sorry, I thought this was the doctors' surgery...'
Min - OMG! That is such cool news, lots of stickies to you and your bumps to be!
Gem, thank you for your support! I have had quite a bit of stuff done because I had a very large fibroid, which had been check by laparoscopy ages ago. I was scheduled for an op to remove the fibroid when I discovered I was pregnant, but afterwards I did have an op. So I've had a lot of abdominal surgery. It could be any of those things that have cause the damage.

Hi Rowing, just wanted to say, you are not being a wimp!! I would be exactly the same as you and I absolutely agree that you need to choose the timing v carefully for these discussions to avoid coming over as a hysterical madwoman. Just know from other experiences (dd has SEN and we have seen lots of doctors for her) that no one really has your concerns totally to heart but you yourself, if that makes sense.

Thanks for sympathy re the scan etc. i am almost certain there is no hope - from all that I have seen, a scan at the stage I am with no fetal pole or heartbeat is 99.99% sure to mean the preg isn't viable. The problem is not being able to move on - I am having dreadful morning sickness and feeling so tired, and without the thought that it is all in a good cause. Just want it resolved...

Another - selfish - factor is that dh and I recently booked a weekend away which is now just after the next scan!! The idea had been that I would either be feeling more certain about the pg or would have miscarried so would need cheering up.. sadly it now looks as if I'll be somewhere in the middle. And, just to finish my moan, dh is finding it hard seeing me so upset by this, and after the earlier cp too he is questioning whether we should stop ttc - i think he is worried I will be too sad if it happens again and also feels that it is all getting in the way of us enjoying our existing dcs... I sort of see his point atm..

Rowing, hope the weekend sees off your PMS and you get lots of fire to ring that GP!

Roquefort, at least you can use the weekend to rest maybe and do something different to take your mind off of whatever is happening. Its natural to wonder if the emotional pain is worth it when things go wrong but I guess you just have to see how you feel when things are more settled.

I drove my ds into school for the last time today. I cant beleive the school run is finally over (providing his A level results are ok!)Feel a little sad about it - don't know why since I'm hardly going to miss the actual drive. Oh well, two years off then I cant start the next 10 years of school run with DD

Have a good weekend everyone

Thank you Roque and Gem!!!! I hope to feel more together and less gibbering by next week.
Roque - that is a catalogue isn't it. I was reading about your tiredness and then got to the part about your DH and started saying out loud 'Oh no!' it's all spiralling out of control!'
I'm not surprised that you are feeling like this and that he is feeling concerned, but you will look back in a few weeks from a different perspective, it's just so 'in the middle of things' at the moment.
I agree that this can cloud your enjoyment of your DCs, I have to remind myself sometimes of that fact. A weekend away sounds lovely though, and you might be able to get some peace.
Gem, it is the end of an era. Do you cry about those things? I'm awful, I cry when I read DS a story that I used to love when I was little. Boo hoooo! He looks at me strangely and asks me what's wrong.
You have a good weekend too!
Hugs to everyone on this thread, I feel very supported.

I spoke too soon. Had a scan yesterday and have a mmc/blighted ovum. Having an ERPC next week

BFP**GRADUATES

OrganicBirthdaycake
Hedgepig 41
Emmsy1 43
Fruitbowl 40
Ge orgially 41
Jassara 40
Heron22 42
Roquefortlover 40
Minmooch 41

TTC

Netty66 41
Mamalex 46
Rachel1963 44
Herbaceous 42
Gem2mum 44
Lionl ady 40
Giggly 41
Patty67 41
Lilibet 44
Triggles 41
Xyzabc 44
FranSanDisco 42
Meysey 43
Ble evR 44
Kd73 34
Nancy66 41
Rowingboat 41
Babyjane67 40
Jennykb 42
Sandiesx 41
Wigan 41
Lemonstartree 43
Cece 41
China11
Worrymerchant 42
Mistlethrush 39
Juicylucytoo 40
Loubers 39
Roquefortlover 40
Bambilocket 40
Undervalued 41
Duchesse 40
Missytabitha 41
Town&country 41
River5 44
Hopefor3 39
Vesela 40
Sensao 41
Xserialshopper 41 ttc #2
NoNickname 41

nonickname oh no I am so sorry.

So sorry for you nonickname. Rowing and gem, thankyou for your kind words - like rowing says, I really feel so supported by everyone on this thread, it does help. I'm sure you're right that we might feel differently once we are out of all this and we have said we will use the weekend away to have a bit of space and time to talk which will be lovely.

Enjoy the weekend everyone!

I'm sorry to hear about that NNN. I hadn't realised how tough you have to be when you TTC, it really shows the strength we have. Even just keeping on when nothing is happening.
I suppose you can have a large glass of wine or cold lager (my personal preference) without any guilt.
Roque, you sound a bit more positive. I'm glad!

Had several large glasses of wine last night

NNN = so sorry to hear about your scan. It's heartbreaking. Each time I have found out I am pregnant I promise myself not to get excited but can't help myself dreaming, planning etc. It makes it harder when things don't go as planned. the only thing i can say is to be positive that you did get pregnant and hopefully next time will be a good one.

My two sticky beans still seem to be there (after 3 mc's in case you don't know my history I am now expecting twins) - but still very early days - 7 weeks. My paranoia about checking for blood seems to be reducing slightly. Not sure if my boobs are hurting because I am pregnant or because I keep prodding them to see if they are hurting! I think this ttc lark has definitely sent me loopy

Off today to enjoy my youngest ds racing around a go karting track for his 11th birthday treat. My eldest son broke his leg skiing a couple of months ago so I will be paranoid about him crashing.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend ladies.

xx

Quite right NNN!
Was it very rainy last night where you are? My poor old DP ended up walking home miles in the rain, no taxis Saturday night. Helped sober him up though. [nodding]

hi all, just read all your new posts.

Roque, i am so sorry about your scan
NNN, so sorry to hear about your mc

CONGRATS Minmooch! twins! blimey!

i have been very slack at keeping up with all your news, i been so tired, falling asleep at around 7pm without even having dinner and then waking up at 11pm, starving

hi all, i am off on hols for 2 weeks, so will catch up on all news when i get back

good luck to all - here's to lots of BFPs!!!!!!!

I am new to Mumsnet. Just had a missed miscarriage which I found out about at 11+2 weeks - I was soooo close to being able to get excited about it but sadly my little one didn't make it past 9 weeks!

But then I had a dreadful premonition that things weren't right all along, and had kept quiet about the pregnancy except with two close friends.

I think I had a chemical pregnancy at the end of last year. All the pregnancy symptoms followed by a month of on-off bleeding, so am feeling flat and sad.

I am 41 (and a half) and thankfully, already have a beautiful 2year old daughter. I had a threatened miscarriage with her at 12.5 weeks, but an otherwise fine pregnancy. Thankfully my doctor thinks I am in great shape and reckons I have about 2in3 chance of next pregnancy being a healthy one, so here's wishing to the God of Small Things

Please add me to your list of TTC ladies.

Hello girls

Sorry to hear about the sad stories. As Winston Churchill used to say 'keep buggering on!' (though that might not be anatomically appropriate in our case!)

I have a question. I conceived four times, between 39 and 41, all within a few months of starting trying. Sadly, I lost them all to miscarriage. It's now been over a year since my last MC, and I still haven't conceived. How likely is it that something has gone wrong, such as a blocked tube, hormones awry? Is it worth getting checked out, or is it more likely to be old age (I'm 42 now)?

Have a good holiday heron, hope you feel well enough to enjoy it! Are you going anywhere special? Welcome Daisy, sorry to hear about your recent sad experiences. Everyone is lovely and supportive on this thread so feel free to moan as much as you like or equally share any happy/funny moments!

I am still in limbo atm, it's a week since my inconclusive-but-not-looking-good scan and so i have a week left to wait till the next one...No more bleeding or cramps and feeling very sick and tired, also done a sneaky HPT which is as strong as you like. Of course I know all this means nothing if it's an MMC so am sort of trying to stay negative minded so I am not too devastated next Weds !

Hi to everyone and hope you are all OK - has PMS gone rowing? How are you feeling minmooch with those twins - sick yet?

Hi all. I've been lurking for ages, but I've been feeling well fed up - so didn't post as I didn't want to pass on my negative vibes

I'm back on Clomid, had my 2nd tablet today. It's going to mess up my CB monitor but I've got to just give it another go

Roque so so sorry that things are tricky at the mo. I?ve got my fingers crossed for you

Liztom Hi and WELCOME

Minmooch have you got names for your twins yet? Or is it too soon/scary?

Nonickname so sorry about your m/c

Rowing af has got me too ?? again [sigh]

Heron22 have a great holiday

Daisy5 HELLO and WELCOME. Sorry to hear your sad news.

I?m 41.5 as well by the way

Herbaceous I think it?s time for you to get your GP to refer you to see a gyno. You definitely need to have your ?internals? looked into, and the sooner the better.

I'm having my tube unblocked in August. I'm not looking forward to it.

BFP GRADUATES

OrganicBirthdaycake 41
Hedgepig 41
Emmsy1 43
Fruitbowl 40
Ge orgially 41
Jassara 40
Heron22 42
Roquefortlover 40
Minmooch 41
NoNickname 41

Oh GOD.......SO SORRY NNN. Will try again

BFP GRADUATES

OrganicBirthdaycake
Hedgepig 41
Emmsy1 43
Fruitbowl 40
Ge orgially 41
Jassara 40
Heron22 42
Roquefortlover 40
Minmooch 41