TTC after pregnancy loss 32 - the penguin huddle

[ReeReeR]

New thread 🐧🐧🐧

I have accidentally created a thread 33 as well but will delete that!

Sorry @futuredreams I just read your previous message properly. Did they suggest you wait until the results?

Hi @ReeReeR

Yes, I have gotten pregnant every time I have tried. Been trying for a year but each miscarriage it took 3 months for my periods to return.

They mentioned they wouldn't be able to do the blood tests etc if I got pregnant again and I worry so much if I do this will happen again with no guidance or help to solve it. It could be an easy fix or a hard one but I'm so anxious. I could go ahead and try but then it could be another 3 months before I can try again. Am I silly thinking like this? I just don't know any more.

Sorry - I tagged the wrong person. Apologies. My head is a bucket @Pandora71

@futuredreams I’m also a bucket head as you can tell from previous post.

I think if your docs are willing to do some tests then waiting sounds sensible to enable this. Can I ask how many weeks you were at for your mcs?

@Pandora71 first one was a pregnancy unknown location. Waited about 2 months and had about 15 blood tests before they could discharge me. They think it was ectopic but it self resolved. I was 7 weeks when I was scanned. Next one was 7 weeks also but was natural miscarriage. Very soon after scan it happened naturally.
This one I was measuring 10 weeks at 11 week scan. Hospital couldn't confirm anything as it was a community one and I had to pay for a private scan to confirm it. Then waited 11 days for ERPC. It was a MMC. The wait was horrendous. Think I may have over shared lol sorry

Hey everyone, I have just posted this thread if anyone can help

Hi ladies. So sadly a month to the day after I got my BFP I'm sliding back here after miscarrying today. I'm 35, nearly 36, and it took me a year to conceive my first pregnancy. This was my second miscarriage in four months, both being between 7 and 8 weeks with the pregnancy having stopped developing between 5 and 6 weeks. This time round we saw a heartbeat at a private scan a week ago however it was measuring a least a week behind so I knew in my heart at that point that it wasn't going to work out. Unfortunately I started bleeding on Sunday, a scan this morning confirmed the loss and then I passed the sac this evening. I'm currently devastated though nursing a glass of wine which I hope will help me to have my first decent night's sleep in at least a week. I probably won't be particularly active on here for a while - we're at least a few weeks away from being able to restart the TTC journey, and I think I need to try to cut back on time spent on Mumsnet as it's not always been great for my mental health when anxiety has been high. I do however know that it has also been very helpful and supportive when I've been feeling at my worst and I hope to see all of you go on to have BFPs and rainbow babies soon x

@Avocuddles I'm so so sorry that you're going through another miscarriage in such a short space of time! It's such a physically and emotionally draining time, so make sure you take all the time you need to look after yourself! here if you want to chat xx

💜 @Avocuddles I am so sorry for your traumatic day yesterday. Our circumstances are so similar, so I should take notice of my own advice, but please give yourself time and be kind to yourself. I think I'll have another week off, been off two so far. I hope you managed to get some rest last night xx

@nicola18737 how are you feeling today? I think your emotions and reactions are totally normal. It's still really raw and what I've found euth grief is it can hit you at any time so don't put pressure on yourself to be OK xx

I saw our fertility consultant yesterday and the appointment went much better than I'd hoped. He's booked me in for a hysteroscopy under general anesthetic as there is a fibroid he wants to get out. I was due to have it under local in August but found out I was pregnant the week before.i was petrified of the procedure, so am happy with this. He's also referring us to the recurrent miscarriage clinic, which I'm grateful for as it's normally after 3 miscarriages. The clinic is one of a Tommy's sites, so feeling optimistic. Trying to focus on the silver linings out if this awful situation.

Really struggling with my diet at the moment, I'm literally eating my emotions and zero exercise so feel huge at the moment. Any tips on getting up and about would be gratefully received.

Hope everyone is OK today. Got a counselling session today, was supposed to be my last one but I spoke to her last week to explain what's going on so hoping to have a few extra sessions. X

@VenusStarr thank you for your message. I met a friend today and had a good cry, so I feel tons better. I think you are right ans that grief just hits you at different times. I find with me I seem to lock it away and then I'm totally disconnected from my feelings. That's great they have referred you to Tommy's, anything that they can do to help things is a good thing.

I am struggling with exercise and diet too. I just want to eat to cheer myself up. I think like @ReeReeR, I might take up Yoga. I do need to connect my mind and body as I'm just so disconnected.

@Avocuddles I am so sorry this has happened to you. The same thing happened to me, I was a week behind, yet saw the HB. I am still waiting for my first period since the MC. I ordered the Ava bracelet to cheer myself up, which has arrived today. I hope you can start to move on now you know whats what. I found the worst part was knowing something wasn't right, but waiting for someone to tell me that that was what was happening. Now it's over, I can grieve and heal.

@futuredreams no such thing as oversharing on these threads, it's good to get it all out. You're right, that wait is horrendous - knowing your dead baby is inside you. Waiting before TTC again will be hard for you, I imagine, but does make sense to do - hoping it's an easy fix.

Oh @Avocuddles I am so sorry. Please take care of yourself. Always here for you if you need.

@VenusStarr can understand the diet thing, I've been living off wine and cake for past couple months. Hope you can get a few more sessions, especially if you've found them helpful.

I've got a terrible ear infection, completely flooring me. On antibiotics. So sore it's spread into my jaw, neck and eyes. So I think that's me out this cycle as I'm in TWW now.

@Avocuddles I am so sorry to hear what you are going through it is heartbreaking we are all here for you if you need us xx

@Avocuddles I’m so sorry you are back here. I don’t think there is anything I can say but be kind to yourself and we are here for you.

Sorry haven’t RTFT as on train home

@Pandora71 It’s good you had a nice date night and dtd. DH and I are in a similar position but managed to dtd and enjoy it on Monday night. We were in much better moods yesterday!

@futuredreams It is difficult to wait when we already worry where we will get our rainbows and how long it will wait but I really do think a few months will be nothing in the scheme of things when we look back

@sadlycindy Yoga and just exercise in general is great for me but I need to work on eating less chocolate at work!

@TwittleBee sorry you are suffering with an ear infection on top of everything else

@Avocuddles I'm so sorry this happened to you again. Sending you hugs. Be kind to yourself and look after each other.

As for me still nothing to report
Baby dust to everyone xx

Hi ladies. Had my second acupuncture session earlier today and hated every second of it. Had the first session last week and loved it, so was excited to go back.. but this time round I found it so uncomfortable. The whole time I had the needles in I couldn't relax at all, I got so anxious and all I kept thinking about was how soon she was going to take them out. The lady who does it is really nice and she did say some sessions can be more tender - but that felt like torture! Has anyone else tried acupuncture and what were your experiences? Not sure if I will go back.. part of me thinks I'm better off paying for a nice massage instead! But I've heard so many positive stories about acupuncture & fertility I don't know if I should persevere!

Thanks everyone for your kind words. It's still very raw but I know (sadly) from previous experience that whilst the pain will never go away, it will change and life will hopefully become a little easier in time. I'm grateful to have some very good friends who are offering plenty of support, although the fact that three of my close friends who I've either met up with or had long chats with are on maternity leave waiting to have their first little one hasn't been particularly easy

@thelittlepeanut i initially had some similar experiences with acupuncture but personally think it's worth persevering. First time round it took me a year to conceive and my cycles were always 40+ days long. I started acupuncture immediately after my first miscarriage, my first cycle was long (50 days from my loss) but the following cycle was only 32 days long and I conceived. I continued to have acupuncture to offer pregnancy support and although sadly that also ended in miscarriage I do believe that it may have positively contributed to my falling pregnant again so quickly.
The first few sessions I felt acutely conscious of the needles in me and couldn't relax at all but now, a few months in, i don't even notice them.

If you aren't already it's worth signing up to a health scheme such as Medicash or simplyhealth - I signed up to medicash on a plan where I can claim back 50% of my acupuncture charges up to a maximum of £350 a year, and I've also been able to claim for glasses, contact lenses and dental. I'll be at least £300 better off overall after the charges are taken into account so well worth considering.

It's never easy @Avocuddles and having those close who seems so lucky with their little babies and pregnancies make it harder.

Acupuncture does terrify me @thelittlepeanut - if you are into alternative medicines you could try ypur local Chinese Medicine practice? I visisted mine when pregnant with DS1 and they really were interesting.

Interesting dip this morning (too early for implantation dip!?) but then I don't know of my other temps were high due to the ear infection and maybe I haven't ovulated yet

You never know it could be inplantation. I also had a dip no where near like yours but also on 5dpo

@TwittleBee opps forgot to tag you

@Avocuddles I'm so sorry to hear your update. Hope you're ok, considering. Sending you big hugs

@Avocuddles having friends who are expecting makes it all the more painful - but I hope they are sensitive to your situation and what you're going through, and I'm glad you have a strong supportive network around you. Like you said, in time you will heal.

That's interesting that you also felt the needles acutely during the first couple of sessions. Did you experience any prolonged pain in those areas even after the needles were removed? I hate the feeling when she goes around to 'stimulate' them. Does your therapist do that too? I think I might persevere for another couple of sessions - I can't ignore how positively everyone talks about it in relation to fertility, and if you stop noticing them after a while then maybe i just need to get over this hurdle.

Also, great tip on signing up to a health scheme - thank you! Definitely going to look into that as the sessions are not cheap, plus if you can claim back in glasses/contacts & dentals that's an added bonus! :)

@TwittleBee was it anything in particular they recommended for you that you thought worked worked for you? I'm not too into alternative medicine, but definitely willing to look into and consider all avenues to help promote fertility and healthy pregnancies!

@Avocuddles I'm so sorry to see you back here. Hope as others have said your friends are sensitive to how hard it must be for you, and that you're able to take some time and space to heal. Sending love.

@thelittlepeanut I had acupuncture to regulate cycles and stimulate ovulation (pcos) and I genuinely think it made a difference. I don't remember any problem with the needles (I used to fall asleep!), my acupuncturist used electric needles sometimes rather than doing the flick to twang them if that makes sense - you could ask about that? Although no idea if the two methods are supposed to have different effects!

@TwittleBee hope your ear infection has cleared up and your dip turns out to be implantation! Read your update re the appointment and am both devastated and furious on your behalf. I really hope the hospital is fully held to account.

@Russkispy any updates? 15 is fantastic!

@ReeReeR hooray for the jeans and congrats on your promotion! Hope you feel on the up at the moment. You've been through such a tough time, I'm not surprised you've been feeling the strain but hope there's a way through for your relationship.

Hello to all the newcomers and sorry you find yourselves here xx

Nothing to report here, mooching along dtd when I can persuade DH and waiting as long as possible before I break and pee on a stick. About CD20 I think, possibly about 9dpo.

@thelittlepeanut my acupuncturist doesn't flick - they just go in then she leaves me to it. There were a couple of times early on when I winced when certain ones went in, but generally I don't feel anything at all other than maybe a slight scratching sensation. She puts them in different places depending on where I am in my cycle - the majority are lower leg but I've also had stomach, wrists (my least favourite as how are you meant to relax in that situation!), forehead and top of scalp. She's also provided plenty of advice and support around lifestyle, supplements (keeping Amazon in business....) and relaxation techniques.

Drove over to another heavily pregnant friend today who is due to be induced on the 23rd - she's a very petite girl and currently about as wide as she is tall! The house was full of baby paraphernalia but surprisingly I felt ok with that, I guess because I've been seeing her regularly throughout her pregnancy I'm genuinely excited at the thought of meeting the little one. I have a suspicious that the next pregnancy announcement however will floor me - all my friends now have at least one little one (or one on the way) and the second babies will no doubt be on their way soon.....

Oh so hope it is a dip for both of us @Mumlili8 - going to test Saturday so then I know if I can drink on our night away or stay sober!

@thelittlepeanut she told me i needed to stop drinking cold drinks as my circulation was poor and that I was going to give birth in a couple days (and I did... at 37 weeks exactly)

@Noisysparrows had a phonecall today from head of Midwiferey apologising for everything that's happened. Think we are going to move hospital though.