TTC after pregnancy loss thread 31 - baby penguins are coming!

[strawberrye]

🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This is a wonderful supportive group for anyone TTC after the loss of a pregnancy or baby. Together we can get through he rollercoaster of TTC and get our baby penguins xx

Exactly! @Noisysparrows Doesn’t seem likely atm but we’ll see!

I’m sorry @TwittleBee Have you just had PM results? Don’t say anything you don’t want to but just do what you think will bring you some peace and help you to carry on

@TwittleBee that must be very difficult for you, but absolutely agree that if mistakes were made in your/your baby's care they should be admitted to and procedures put in place to prevent them happening again. And I say that as someone who has worked in maternity care. I hope your solicitor is able to make the journey as gentle as possible for you and the hospital don't push back. Hugs to you.

@FirstTimeMama91 I don't know ovulation dates exactly but I reckon earliest I've had a positive is about 8dpo, or at least dps (days post shag!). I'm possibly expecting ovulation this week or next - my cycles make it difficult to pinpoint and last AF wasn't a proper one but don't want to miss the boat so in my 2-5ww already 😂.

Thanks @TwittleBee and @Noisysparrows 💕 I ordered some frer today so they should be here by Friday when I'll be about 7 dpo. I've got some ICs too so I just need to keep myself distracted til then They waiting is awful! X

@TwittleBee I am so crushed to read back through and see how your lost your baby. I had no idea you had been through that. Unmumsnetty hugs to you

Definitely sue the hospital. My DD was fine when I had her but I was pretty touch and go and that was entirely due to medical negligence. Wish I had pursued it at the time. Unfortunately like child protection they often only seem to learn when things go tragically wrong.

Well I am back to the huddle. Started bleeding heavily at 4+5 so just a chemical really. Think it still counts as mc #3 even though early so off to request referral at GP I guess.

Thanks @Noisysparrows I hope so. I was so lucky with my son, conceived so fast. Think we’re in for the longhaul this time. Best of luck to you.

@TwittleBee I do hope the claim is successful and checks are put in place that make a difference now. I’m so terribly sorry x

@FirstTimeMama91 I swore off testing myself early! I was spending far too much on tests and winding myself up. Only doing it if AF is 2 days late now. I’ve also had a couple of chemical pregnancies so it saves me the highs and the lows of finding this out I guess

Sorry to see you back here @Pegase, have a hug. Can't see why it wouldn't count as 3, you got pregnant and it didn't stick so hope you get your referral ASAP.

Been sent 2 scan pics in the past week, both from family/friends I love dearly, I already knew they were pregnant and am honestly happy for them but seeing their scans has hit me in the gut a bit!

@Pegase I’m sorry you are back here again. I had a CP this month too and it’s a bit disheartening

@Noisysparrows That’s rubbish. I think most of us have days when things like that are difficult to take

Thank you everyone - I'll maybe speak about what happened once we get some concrete answers exactly why it went wrong.

Pegase I am sorry about your CP - certainly a MC still. At the EPU they told me CP isnt a term they recognise, it is a MC still.

Noisysparrows totally know how that feels

No clue what my BBT chart is doing, looks so whacky compared to how it usually does - guessing it is still only 8 weeks postpartum

I got my static smiley today but still seems unlikely DH and I will dtd. I think we’re both down and stressed - it’s 6 months since we lost our daughter, CP last month, both navigating being back to work plus other issues we maybe don’t see eye to eye on. Any of those things alone could be manageable but it’s a struggle at the moment. He doesn’t communicate well at the best of times. Hated seeing the static smiley today as it feels like a waste.

Hi, I haven't posted in a while, happy to see some graduates, sad to see some people returning and new faces.

I had my GP appointment today to look at my positive ANA blood test results after my miscarriage April. Looks like I may have sjorgrens syndrome, so need to be referred to rheumatologist. He confirmed this auto immune issue is linked to miscarriage so is also seeking advice from an obstetrician (he doesn't think they will accept a referral) so he could provide care and medication should I fall pregnant.

He has advised I lay off actively ttc, as the stress won't be helping, till I've seen a Rheumatologist but that if it happens it happens. So I'm a bit gutted as probably a 3 month wait (going to see if covered on DHs medical cover (think not) and phone to get some quotes to get a private appt, as at 38 I don't want to put things off!

Looks like cp again. I'm 15dpo and just got this this morning. I'm truly so fed up of this. This will be loss number 8. Why is this happening 😢

@Lilimum7 couldn't you just have ov'd late this month? Or is there another reason you think it's CP rather than just BFP? Sorry if I'm being dim...

@Kayjay2018 that's really tough, sorry you're having to wait - hope you can be seen privately much sooner!

@ReeReeR did you have any luck dtd in the end?

@Lilimum7 have you been tested for any auto immune issues? My mum tried for 7 years before having my, she got diagnosed with lupus when I was under 10 and at that stage they advised that she may have been having very early losses (cps) back in the days before she had me.

@Noisysparrows - thanks - I managed to book an appt with the rheumatologist privately for 3rd September so hopefully get an action plan from then.

@Kayjay2018 yeah I've been tested for everything, nothing wrong.
@Noisysparrows bfn 10 dpo till 12 dpo. Same thing happened in May and it was a cp.

@Lilimum7 can totally see why you feel negative about it given your past but still very much hope you ov'd late and this is a sticky one.

@Kayjay2018 fab, that's not too long to wait at all! Hope the appointment is useful/positive.

@Lilimum7 have they given you any next steps? Is there any other types of tests that can be done? I found one loss heartbreaking so I can't imagine the pain you are feeling

@Noisysparrows - I feel calmer now there's a plan. The advice to not try came a little late for this month, so have to see if I have caught this month. Apparently my combination of positive ANAs and the anti RO antibodies could, in rare situations be quite devastating and potentially fatal for a baby unless I'm treated. I'm feeling quite daunted with that fact, although it looks like with medication and serious monitoring and scans, things could be positive.

@Kayjay2018 next step will be to send any products if I make it passed 7 weeks for testing, other than that it's asprin and progesterone and fingers crossed

Afternoon ladies, haven't been on here for a while, and just caught up with the thread.
As you might remember I had a MC 2 weeks ago and bleeding finally stopped last weekend. And then fresh bleed began on Tuesday afternoon. Went to EPU for a follow up and my lining is back to normal size. Did urine pregnancy test which I knew it would be still positive. Did HCG bloods and it still high of 233. Have to go back next week for repeat. Must admit I'm sick and tired of that place! In the meantime our donor will start her IVF stims end of this week or so. And we're planning a little trip back home/to my clinic when DH will need to leave his deposit and I have an appointment with my doc.
@Pegase Read your good news and I'm sorry about CP
@Avocuddles Congratulations and wishing you all the best!
@Rumi1 Sorry to read this. Hope you've enjoyed Cornwall
@Dimblebimble Congratulations! Wishing you a healthy 9 months!
@Lilimum7 I'm still hoping you OV-d late and it's still a BFP. Fingers crossed!

@Lilimum7 That looks like quite a good line to me, is there any chance you could have ovulated late?

If you're still feeling like this could be another chemical, have you thought about having the Natural killer cells tests? I really recommend Dr Shehata in Epsom.

@Russkispy and @Pop1234 I don't think so according to my bbt chart and opks

No we haven’t dtd. Got static smiley yesterday so think we’ve missed this cycle now.I’m a bit annoyed at DH and think he’s being an unsupportive and selfish arse. And first day back at work today I was shocked when someone asked me “how is the baby?” I thought everyone knew. It’s not anyone’s fault but I wasn’t expecting it and felt bad as his face was a picture at my reaction. I was ok but felt distracted then so left an hour early. DH will probably not be home for another hour so I’ve made myself a quick dinner and going to get in the bath then bed. Don’t really even feel like dealing with DH tonight. Sorry post is all about me. Can’t focus on anything else.

Hi folks, just catching up with everything again after being absent for a couple of weeks. Was getting a bit obsessed with looking online at ttc stuff so took a wee break. I’m sorry to see so many of us going through yet more heartache. It’s just not fair after what we’ve been through already

@ReeReeR I’m so sorry that your colleague said that to you. I know it wasn’t really his fault but it’s the possibility of being asked such questions that makes going back to work so daunting in the first place. A bath and bed sounds like the right thing after such a shitty day. I hope your DH comes home and realises he’s been an arse and brings you up a nice cup of tea, some chocolate and a big cuddle.

Have you just gone straight back in to your normal hours? I’ve decided I’m going back at the beginning of September, I’ll have been off 3 months by then after my TFMR in June. I do feel ready but it’s people's reactions to me being back and what they might say to me and what should I tell them about what happened that I’m most worried about. I’m discussing a phased return with my manager so it’s all a bit more manageable. Would this maybe be an option for you?

@TubbyMcFatfuck Yes DH has been attentive. He came to see me, hug me, bring me a drink, even brought me a snack in bed.

I have gone back pretty much full FT but I have a lot of holiday so I’m thinking of using a day a week to work 4 day weeks and there would be flexibility and I can work from home too. I’ll see how it goes as I found today a bit harder and more tiring than I expected. Overall it was an ok today but three things I found difficult. 1 - in conversation with manager about workload (prompted by me inviting him to give me work and he was v nice about it) he mentioned giving me a colleague’s work when she goes off on mat leave. He didn’t say “mat leave” but I know she is pregnant and didn’t want to hear about that the first day back after my own mat leave. 2 - a v well meaning but talkative colleague was asking if they told us what caused our baby’s death. I didn’t want to talk about it and so I as vague but she sort of preserved with “so they didn’t tell you then?” She didn’t mean anything but I don’t want to tell people at work things like they. I need to just say I don’t want to discuss. And then 3 - the colleague who didn’t know asked how mum and baby were 🙁 I felt bad as he didn’t know and probably felt terrible.

Well done for making a plan to go back. For me that was the biggest thing. Do your colleagues know what happened? I still if a big place and is it a supportive place to work generally? You can tell people as little as you want really.

What I would say is that overall going back was a positive thing, despite the blips (which will happen), and everyone was lovely and I wasn’t overwhelmed by people getting in my face or anything. A few people came over to say it was lovely to have me a back and that was nice.

(Sorry that was long)

Well that was short lived the painful cramps have started. I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong. My tests were clear what is the matter with me