TTC baby #1 for 18months - losing hope

[Barles111]

Hi all,

Looking for help, advice and just friendly chatter .
Myself and my husband are 30, in good health and have been ttc our first baby for over 18months .
I have regular cycles and have been under Nhs treatment since June last year.
Hubby’s swimmers are all good too after testing.
I’ve had scan after scan to check ovulation, blood test after blood test, HSG to check blockages in my tubes! You name it- the Nhs have checked it. And apart from an 11 day luteal phase (some say that’s ok, some say that’s short) and inconsistencies in progesterone levels - I’m all okay.

I’ve been given 4 cycles worth of clomid incase I’m not ovulating regularly ...
and AF has just showed her stupid face today!

This is going to be our 3 round of clomid ... my consultant said the next step is IVF - which scares the life out of me.

I am dreading the ‘unexplained infertility’ words to come out of their mouths .

We’re both taking supplements, eating certain foods ! I just don’t know what else to do.

I feel like my time is running out ... any help or advice would go a long way at the moment.

Thank you all in advance !
X

Hun I have no advice because we are in the same position we have been actively trying for 17 months now with no joy. We went last week to the doctors to start the process of tests and referral to a fertility clinic. Fingers crossed for both of us that it is just a matter of time xx

Hey, I haven't had clomid as I went private but am currently doin my second round of icsi ivf. I'm happy to give u any info or just be a listening ear. I know how hard it is, I'm 34 and as you're aware after 35 conceiving is more difficult, it's been a testing time for our relationship too. Good luck to you and DH xx

Hi @Barles111 I'm in your boat. DH and I both 30, been trying for just over a year for #1, AF also showed her stupid face for me today, so I'm starting my second round of Clomid tomorrow. I have PCOS and DH has slightly low morphology but apparently nothing too serious. I have also been almost what feels like threatened with ivf if Clomid doesn't work. I never expected to be in this position and ivf sounds so extreme, obviously I know it's a fantastic thing and helps so many people, but I honestly don't think I could cope with the stress of the whole process. I hope you get your bfp soon! It's a new month...

Thank you all for your replies .
It just sucks doesn’t it ! I’ve had some brown mild spotting today but I know AF is due any moment ...
@willowjasmine funnily enough - my husbands test came back with lower than average morphology and when we asked what we could do they said nothing . They said it’s notning to worry about as everything else is absolutely fine .
I’m with you- I feel extremely lucky to have IVF as an option , as I know it isn’t for some, however it the last bit of help we’ll be given - and that seems very extreme . I’m dreading being told we just can’t have children .
I’m sorry AF arrive for you today . If you want someone to go through the journey with then I’m here for you!

@milly24 I hope the nhs work quickly for you and help you out . I’ve heard so many success stories with certain tests - especially the HSG, it’s just unfortunate didnt for us . Keep me posted how you get on as I can offer any help with that process.

@teddysmum7 - I didn’t think clomid was an option for me, as I had regular periods. I had low progesterone in some blood tests so they said it shows inconsistency and I may not be ovulated every month . Have you tried going through nhs ?

We’re contemplating paying for a private consultation to see if there’s any route we can take with them.

Keep me posted on all your journeys too. I have my fingers crossed for you all xx

By the way ... I am barles111 I managed to change my name on here ! X

I did however the threshold for bmi is 28 and mines 30 so slightly overweight although I don't look it so I went straight to private as their bmi policy is higher and I didn't have to wait 4months to be seen

Have you considered trying progesterone cream to give your levels a little lift? I had a slightly short luteal phase and spotting from about cd24 of a 28 day cycle so despite my day 21 bloods indicating ovulation I was worried that my levels were dropping too fast to sustain a pregnancy. I tried it for a couple of months and it seemed to help with the spotting and I am currently 5+1 after 18 months of trying. DH also had really poor morphology (0% normal) and he began taking proxeed plus 3 months ago on gp recommendation to help with this so that could also have been a major contributing factor. Good luck on your journey!

@mrflibbleseyes I’ve not heard of proxeed before so I will def look in to that - thank you! And congratulations !
I bought a small tub of progesterone cream, which cost a small fortune, a few months ago. I used it for one month and then my fertility doctor said not to use it as “we don’t know exactly what’s in it .”
I have been tempted to try it again but worried it will mess with clomid ?! Although I’m sure it can’t as they have different jobs at different times .

@teddysmum7 a four month wait for a slightly higher blood than ‘average’. If I remember rightly - mine was 29 when they weighed me back in June/July when I was first referred to the fertility unit .
I can’t help but worry why aren’t we pregnant yet? We’ve been told everything really is as it should be about from a few teething problems.
Xx

I'm not sure about interactions between the cream and clomid so probably best to avoid it, I wouldn't want to ruin your clomid chances! Proxeed also costs a small fortune unfortunately, we bought ours from Amazon but as the dose for men is 2 sachets a day it works out at nearly £70 a month and its recommended to take it for 3 as that's how long it takes to manufacture new sperm from scratch! I also brought the lady version which is half the price as you only have one sachet but I'm convinced it was worth the money!

Oh brill thank you.
We both used fertilaid for a few months (hubby had men’s one of course :) ) but that was around £40 each a month so it fizzled after 2-3 months. We both use the well woman /man at the moment .
I am looking bro proxeed as we speak !

Update on AF - I still haven’t actually bled as such yet, still just a slight brown smear when I go to the toilet . I couldn’t resist taking a test and it was a BFN so we’ll see when this devil woman called AF shows her face ! X

@Charlotte123l thanks, as much as I wouldn't wish this position on anyone, it's nice to know there are people who understand. We are taking the same supplements too, don't know how much difference it makes but DH seems to feel he makes better sperm?! Lol so can't hurt.
How many rounds of Clomid have you been given? I've been given 6 months, and potentially have HSG in 4 months. I also have no idea if Clomid worked for me as I received 2 letters, one saying it didn't and to have an AMH blood test, and another saying it has and just carry on? Need to ring them tomorrow!

Would be amazing if your af doesn't show at all and you're actually pregnant! Are you anything like me, where everyone you know is suddenly pregnant or had a baby?

I really feel like I've left it too long and too late and time has run out even though I'm only 30. As much as these MN boards are great, I keep seeing people my age ttc#2 or 3 and can't help but wish I got my act together sooner

@willowjasmine yes - everyone and I mean everyone is pregnant ! Even 14year Amy on Corrie is pregnant lol ! My sister is pregnant is pregnant with her second, my best friend is pregnant with her second, my other pregnant (who tried for years) is finally pregnant with her first. Having said that I am over the moon for them all- I just want one myself !

I’ve been given 4 months altogether - my doc said because we ‘seem’ to be ovulating each month she doesn’t want to give me too many months worth. She said we’d meet after the 4 months and she mentioned IVF - which scares the @&£$ out of me !

I feel like my time is running out too. But I can’t regret trying sooner as my husband and I were enjoying married life for a year. Try not to regret decisions . I do think everything happens for a reason . I just hope we get pregnant soon.

I’m glad you’ve replied on here willow as we seem to be the same . One lady once said to me that when you get your AF you should try and see the positive that it’s a sign you ovulated . Some women are dying to have their AF to arrive .

Did they scan you after your first round of clomid ? I was scanned for a few days until they could guarantee I had ovulated , I didn’t have a blood test though?
Xx

@Charlotte123l yep exactly the same, my sister is pregnant with her second too. Of course I'm really happy but extremely jealous lol.

My DH says the same thing about not regretting it. We made decisions based on our situation at the time, and as you said enjoying our marriage. It's just so hard not to think about what ifs and blame myself for not being "ready" sooner especially when DH has wanted to start trying much sooner...

I’m glad you’ve replied on here willow as we seem to be the same
When I read your first post, it was honestly like i had written it myself! I had a scan on CD14 of my last cycle but it was for pcos not to confirm ovulation. As chance would have it with the timing, the guy did say he could see a large follicle on my left ovary but couldn't say for definite if I had ovulated or not. You're right about seeing the positives of AF though - guess it just means another fresh chance!

Are we leading the same lives 😂 I suppose we’re lucky the Nhs are trying to sort us out .
It’ll be 2 years this May since TTC and I can feel it quickly approaching !

Do you know how many IVF cycles you’d get on the Nhs in your area ? I’m midlands so apparently we only get 1 on the Nhs. Such a scary thought !
X

Yes that's true, we are very lucky but it's so daunting. I honestly thought I'd get pregnant the first or second month we tired. It seems so easy when people I know have gotten pregnant by accident!

I'm in Manchester, as far as I'm aware we only get one cycle too. Tbh I haven't researched at all as I'm burying my head in the sand. I said to DH yesterday that if it doesn't work in the next year, maybe we should just say we don't want any children. Id much rather not have any out of choice than it being decided for me, if that makes sense? It sounds really extreme but it's so difficult when all of this is not in our control isn't it.

Yep I’m with you all the way . And I dread the questions people seem to ask all the time “so you’ve been married 2 1/2 years, when are you going to have children?” There are so many pregnancy announcements on fb and although I have no idea what the couples have been through, I just think god, another one preggers!
When I thought AF was here yesterday , I became upset properly for the first time . I’ve been down about it before but I actually cried about it yesterday and my DH said after clomid why don’t we enquire at a private clinic and see if they can offer anything different . There’s an open evening by us this week which will save us £250 for a consultation . So we’re going to go down this week and ask a few questions .
Keep going - don’t give up - not yet anyway. Why don’t we try and spur each other along in our darkest hours and keep each other posted ?

When my sister TTC with number 1 she came on here a lot apparently , and still speaks to some of the girls. Up until yesterday, haven’t really been on here . So I’m pleased I posted yesterday.
X

Same!! We have been married 3.5 years and people are literally just waiting for me to announce my pregnancy. I'm like trust me I want to too!!!

Sounds like a really good idea going to the open evening, especially if it will save you some money! What happened with your af then, anything after the spotting? Are you gonna take another test in a few days?

Will be really good to keep each other updated. I'm taking my first Clomid tonight of cycle 2, and when googling 2 has been lucky for a few people, so trying to keep an open mind!

Do you ever catch people looking at your belly as they’re talking to you . I get so close to saying - no I’m not pregnant lol.

Well I have typical period cramps and lower back pain - I’ve just noticed my light spotting is getting pinker and more of it so I think when I wake up tomorrow , AF will well and truly be here .
We’re away for a few days and I brought my clomid with me so I’ll be starting my third round in a day or two .
Last month I tried the ‘sperm meets egg plan’ - people have sworn by that so will keep giving that a go too .
So many things to remember to do or take !

I have everything crossed for you ! I noticed less side effects with the clomid the second time round. First time round, I had bad headaches

Will update you in the morning. It’s been nice talking to you today, you’ve actually helped me X

People are like "shouldn't you be thinking about a little one soon" and I want to reply and say it's all I fucking think about 😂 however I usually say something about enjoying life/holidays etc.

I've also heard good things about smep. Maybe that's a plan for this month. I sacked off opks last few months but might try them again for Clomid reassurance. Aww I'm so happy I have helped, it really does help knowing other people feel like you do!!! I hope either your af doesn't arrive and it's good news, or arrives quickly so you can get on with the next month! X

I’m always saying “we’re just enjoying our holidays at the moment”, we move house in 2 weeks, so my current one is “we’re focusing on the move.” If only I got a pound for every time someone says ... “ you know what they say don’t you? New house, new baby.” Ffs!

Well AF is in full swing this morning , it’s not my usual AF though which is strange , I’ve suffered with PMS all night and still cramping bad now.

I would do an ov test on clomid because pre clomid I was ov on cd15, and on clomid I’m ov on cd 12 so it’s changed my window quite a bit .

Good luck taking your clomid today- I hope you don’t get many side effects . I’ll be joining you tomorrow and starting mine again!

Fingers and toes crossed for us both !
How’s your DH coping with it all? X

Ooh ok, I'll order some more opks today then. I had a 32 day cycle, I don't know if that's normal on Clomid? I thought it was supposed to be 28 days. So otherwise if I did ovulate I think it was quite late?? Very confusing. I have to go to the hospital for more bloods today so I'm gonna go to gyne and demand some answers 😂 as politely as possible.

DH is very positive and calm by nature (opposite of me) and is adamant that these things can just take time. If he is worried, then I guarantee he's not telling me because he wouldn't want to stress me out. I ask him straight up about it and he's just like "it will happen when it happens, no point worrying". He is concerned about his morphology though, I keep telling him it doesn't matter if he has supersperm if I'm not ovulating anything for them to fertitlise 🙄 how about your DH??

How did you get on with your blood tests? Did you manage to speak to them and have any questions answered ?
My first cycle using clomid was a 23 days and I ovulated on day 12. This second cycle using clomid, was a 25 days long and I ovulated on day 13.

That’s good about your DH. Mine is pretty much the same. I’ll ask him if he thinks we’re a couple that can’t have kids and he’s like , no absolutely our time will come. Our results are all fine and normal apart from a few hiccups so he’s confident we will . He seems laid back. When I was upset Saturday - he said we should focus on moving house and getting this next month out of the way and book to see private. As I said before we’re going along to the open evening thurs . I’ll pass on any info they give to me incase it helps you too.

Last time we were at the gyn department discussing our options, my DH asked them what he could do to improve his morphology but they told him nothing. Just take your supplements and that should help.
Not sure whether to go down the proxeed route if it costs £80. Suppose it’s worth a try?
X

So I went to the dept and they said they aren't qualified to discuss results and I have to ring the Secretary. Which I did - of course she's on annual leave. Typical!
Ahh see i heard the same that Clomid is meant to shorten cycles whereas mine was the same as before so I'm really not thinking that I ovulated this month.

It's good you have the distraction of moving house - think of it as having everything all ready for when you're pregnant and baby comes. Will definitely be much easier than with a new born!

I've not come across proxeed? We've been using conceive plus which obviously hasn't made any difference for us but alot of people swear by it. I was also taking pregnacare conception but have now changed to just the folic acid. Not sure if that's a bad move or not but I did feel like my cycles got longer when on the pregnacare so worth a shot x

For gods sake ! It’s always the way isn’t it ? Is it all through the Nhs or have you gone private ?
I’m the same re. Supplements . I took fertilaid then moved on the pregnancare wellwoman conception and now I’m just taking folic acid and omega 3 (I don’t really eat fish and I hear eating fish helps ?!)

I think there’s so much out there that works different for everyone. I’m keen to try new things as like you said , nothing has worked yet so may aswell try it ! I get disheartened though when someone recommends something, swears it helped them get pregnant straight away - and yet it hasn’t for me !
So many people have told me how they ttc for 2+ years , fell pregnant first round of clomid ... and here’s lil old me going for round number 3.

Do you have long to wait for your results ? X