TTC baby #1 for 18months - losing hope

[Barles111]

Hi all,

Looking for help, advice and just friendly chatter .
Myself and my husband are 30, in good health and have been ttc our first baby for over 18months .
I have regular cycles and have been under Nhs treatment since June last year.
Hubby’s swimmers are all good too after testing.
I’ve had scan after scan to check ovulation, blood test after blood test, HSG to check blockages in my tubes! You name it- the Nhs have checked it. And apart from an 11 day luteal phase (some say that’s ok, some say that’s short) and inconsistencies in progesterone levels - I’m all okay.

I’ve been given 4 cycles worth of clomid incase I’m not ovulating regularly ...
and AF has just showed her stupid face today!

This is going to be our 3 round of clomid ... my consultant said the next step is IVF - which scares the life out of me.

I am dreading the ‘unexplained infertility’ words to come out of their mouths .

We’re both taking supplements, eating certain foods ! I just don’t know what else to do.

I feel like my time is running out ... any help or advice would go a long way at the moment.

Thank you all in advance !
X

You've done well to fit in all that DTD while moving house, well done! Hopefully you've covered it! Timing is so typical. We DTD last night but tonight we are going to stay with my in laws, DH is adamant we can't waste the opportunity, but I just don't think I can do it with MIL in the next room!

Now you're in your new house hopefully you can relax a bit. The universe will know that everything is in place and you're ready to have your baby.

I'm already saying to DH as soon as we have (and we will have) one baby, we should just start trying for the second. Feeling quite rubbish as it's exactly a year now since we started trying, honestly thought I would have a 3 month old right now!

Hiiii!
I know that feeling - we will have been trying 2 years come end of May- I’m dreading it . I’ve constantly calculated my potential due dates over the last 18months so I’ve stopped doing it.

Fingers crossed I don’t get to 2 years without a bfp and fingers crossed you don’t get near to it either !

Has work been any better for you and your anxiety ?

Did you manage to dtd with the mother in law in the next room ? Lol x

It feel so unfair doesnt it. One of my colleagues starting trying at the same time as me (although I didn't tell her) and she had her baby in January. I guess some people are just lucky.

Work has been about the same really. I can't seem to see any other option except quitting, I feel it would be so good for my mental health. But then now is the time to work and save before we do have a baby and have lots of extra costs.

We didn't manage to dtd lol! DH did attempt but think the pressure got to him! I'm worried we haven't done it enough this month. So far only did it on CD 10, 12 and 14. I wanted to carry on through the whole cycle but DH has taken the consultants advice to heart to do it between 10-14.

How's your weekend been? Is your DH back from the stag now?

Hiiiiiii ! How are we ? Are you nearing af dates ???

Have you had a better week this week?

Dh was back last Sunday so this is our first weekend in the house together. We’ve been out for a nice meal tonight and we’re both absolutely knackered !

My nhs fertility nurse emailed me back today as I asked to have more clomid as I only have one more cycles worth and my follow up appointment is end of April. She’s sent me a prescription in the post with is amazing ! Good ole Nhs ay

I didn’t do any ov tests this month as dh was away cd12 for 2 days and I normally peak on day 12. Trying not to symptom check or look when af is due . I’m sick of waiting - building hope , thinking I’m pregnant and then BAM... af shows her stupid face .
Xx

Hey! So I'm apparently 7dpo today. So halfway through this loooong 2 weeks. I don't feel remotely positive that it's worked this month though! Where are you up to in your cycle and how are you feeling?

Great news that you've managed to get more Clomid! At least you'll be feeling more proactive while you wait for your appt.

I know what you mean, every month I get my hopes up. I never thought I'd be one of those women who cry every time AF arrives but I've been doing it since cycle 2 😂 this month my hopes are not remotely up. Good on you for not keeping tabs and checking symptoms!!! X

I take pregnacare and dh takes well man conception. Couldn’t afford to keep up the fertilaid and I’m dubious about paying for proxeed as it’ll cost so much .
Is conceive plus the lubricant to help the sperm ? If so- we use that too but only twice close to my ‘peak’ results to try and cut down on costs. I sound such a tight arse ha but we’ve spent a fortune so far. You should see my supplement stock !!!

The house move has def distracted me- but af is looming next week so I’ll need another distraction ! I’ve found out another 2 people are pregnant this week.mega happy for them...another reminder I’m not!

How are you doing with it all? Really shit about the results ! Why can’t they just give them you! Hope you get it back soon so you know what todo next x

Lol I just read your message and I have a feeling you read one of my older messages in the thread and responded to that? As I got my results a few weeks ago 😂

I agree about the costs though. At first it was like "whatever it takes.whatverr it costs I'll.do it" and now it's like "why waste money when it probably won't even work"

2 baby bombs in 1 week... I feel for you!!! What date are you due AF?

Oh god lol what the fluff did I do there then !! I’ll blame it on the house move !

So you’re 10dpo ? How long is your cycle usually for ?

My cycle is anything from 23-26 days . Average is 25 days and I’m on cd23 today.

This is gross so apologies - but I’ve just been to the toilet and noticed a slight pink tinge so the bitch is def coming ! Ffs!

This weekend I was so hormonally agitated and cranky ! Hopefully this prescription comes in the post soon as I’ll be taking my last round when af is more definite .

I’m with you- it’s hard to stay positive . I’ve been positive for too many months and been disheartened so I just try and expect and accept af is on her way each month .

Keep me posted! It was this point in my last cycle I wrote the first post in this chat! X

😂 definitely the move!

So before my cycles were 35 days or longer. Last cycle which was my first Clomid one was 32 days. On 11dpo today and feel AF is imminent, got all my usual symptoms. So I think we both may be on to the next cycle.

Another baby bomb yesterday. Not sure how much more of this I can take. I received an appointment for the results of my ultrasound scan that I had, but it's not until next month. I'm terrified the consultant is going to say forget the Clomid and have ivf 😫

Hi, haven't RTFT but just wanted to say me and my partner stopped contraception when I was 21 as we knew we wanted a child, I thought I'd be pregnant within a year as we were so young but it just didn't happen!

We decided to just keep trying and eventually after almost 4 years of trying we thought we better book in to have some tests as we were getting nowhere. We went for initial checks of hormone levels/sperm count and all came back fine so were referred to the fertility clinic for further tests! The appointment was made for 12th October and we decided to book a holiday to Scotland in early September let us unwind and relax, got back from holiday and I knew I didn't feel right so I took a test and was 10 weeks pregnant

Our 12 week scan appointment came through and was also 12th October at the same time our fertility appointment should have been, couldn't beleive the coincidence!

We now have a gorgeous almost 1 year old little boy

So I just wanted to say don't give up hope! I had all my hopes pinned on the fertility appointment and thought we would have to go down the ivf route, but it can happen even after years of trying!

Good luck x

Least ivf is an option though. Keep taking clomid - it’s working it’s magic and getting things in order .

I feel like af is coming - no sign of her today.

Isn’t it strange that more baby bombs keep coming ! Suppose we’re more sensitive to it ! One day it’ll be our turn and their may be someone feeling as we are now - can you tell I’m trying my best to stay positive !!
Xx

@rubydudy26 aw thank you for your post !
It does help hearing other people’s stories !
I suppose we have no idea what others are going through.
I am keeping my fingers crossed af stays away!!! X

@Charlotte123l 😂 I love your positivity! Any more sign of AF for you today? I've started cramping since yesterday so pretty sure she's coming v soon. Had such high hopes for cycle 2 too...

@Rubyduby26 wow that's incredible! So spooky that the dates lined up to be the same too, it was fate. That you for giving some hope, I guess it's not over til it's over!

I’ve got people trying to make me positive as i don’t feel it so I’m passing that on to you.
I’ve had parents evening these past two days so I’m knackered ! Good job it’s not my fertile window as DH wouldn’t have a chance !

I’ve had slight cramps . She’s def coming ! Bitch ! What cd are you on now ? X

I don't think I've asked you yet, have you told many people you're ttc? Like family/friends? I haven't and don't want to, which i think makes it a bit lonely. I have told one friend but she doesn't really get it, despite her best intentions, as she's not there yet, which is fair enough. Just Keeps saying don't worry it will happen etc. Sometimes it doesn't feel helpful - you just want someone to say it's shit and that they're sorry this is how it is, to validate how you feel instead of feeling like it's being dismissed (Can you tell I've had a lot of therapy/counselling 😂)

Gosh that sounds like a busy week! Hopefully it has kept your mind off the wait. I'm cd27 and 12dpo today, still cramping and started spotting today too 😫 another month bites the dust... where are you up to???

Well I came on this morning . BAM 3 o’clock this morning the intense cramping began! Haven’t slept well. Lower back is killing too so just struggled to get comfy! Like you said, another one bites the dust .

Out of my family My sister and mom know. Dh’s dad saw my pregnacare tablets when we first started TTC and he just asked him but dh didn’t give much away.
We’ve been married 3 years in June so I suppose more people know that we must be struggling .
I’ve got a few friends that know. My best friend that is pregnant with her 2nd is brilliant . She tells me how strong I am and how she thinks I’m coping really well as it’s such a shitty situation. She’s very positive for me and says things to keep me positive too.

I’m not embarrassed by it however I’m aware that people are almost waiting for the pregnancy announcement . I have caught a Few women at work look at my stomach and I feel like saying - no baby... just fat 😂😂 and I think it’s awkward to bring up in convo - how do you randomly say- we’re TTC and haven’t so far?

Maybe you should try and talk to someone ? Have you got any sisters or sister in laws you could speak to?

I’ve also spoken to a few of my older friends at work- one of them is 45 with a 13 year old and an 8 year old . Took her 4 years and 3 miscarriages for her to get pregnant .

Has your spotting stopped ? X

I came on this morning too 😫 although I'm quite happy as this was an exact 28 day cycle which i haven't had in so long! So although I'm sad to be on, I'm happy that Clomid is working.

I'm glad to hear you have lots of support. Yeah two of my work colleagues know too, who have children of their own. I did mention it to my mum when we started trying, but with my dad passing away other it's a bit different now. To be honest, DH and I have chosen not to tell anyone else in the family, purely because it's such a personal thing. I do have siblings who I am close to, but not so close that I feel comfortable with them knowing about all the DTD 😂 DH is also convinced it's because of him that I'm not pregnant yet and doesn't anyone to know, which is fair enough.

Totally understand the people looking at your stomach! I have that all the time. I have put on weight since getting married, due to meds I was on, and people used to ask me all the time if I have "good news". Nope - just got a bit fat, thanks for pointing it out! We will be marred 4 year this year, and people are definitely just waiting. I wanna be like "we're trying our best!"

Somehow our cycles have synced and we haven’t even met each other 😂

If I’m honest, I feel too many people know . I’ve had people out right ask - and I haven’t been afraid to share bits but now I’m like- I still have no baby and people will start giving me that ‘head tilt concerned’ look.

My sister tried for years and I am really close to her . She’s helped me with certain supplements , ov tests etc as when we first TTC, I had no clue - apart from dtd of course ... that I knew.

It’s understandable that you and your family have had lots to deal with recently. Well least we can speak to each other on here and support each of our journeys as best we can!

This point in my cycle last month I was really, really upset but I feel ok at the moment. I’m wondering if it’s because I’ve been given more clomid so it’s prolonging the ivf consultation.

It is good news about your 28 day cycle ! Mine has gone from 23/24/25 cycle length to a 26/27 day cycle, which I’m pleased with. I had a short luteal phase so I was worried that af was coming early and ruining any chance of an egg implanting . So hopefully we have same chances of conceiving as any other normal couple !

How are your symptoms ? I’m still cramping and lower back is in bits ! I’m shattered due to the shit nights sleep I had too.

Not sure if you’re a love island fan (I am) ... I am absolutely shocked at the news of mike thallis !!! What is the world coming to! X

And I’ve totally spelt his name wrong :/

I know, it's so weird that we've synced up! I'm now definitely convinced we are going to get out bfps at the same time and be pregnancy buddies lol! I'm having exactly the same, cramps and backache, really couldn't get comfy on the sofa.

I'm glad you're feeling more positive, having the extra Clomid is definitely good news and reassuring. So is this cycle 3 Clomid for you now? We can remind each other to take it lol, I've set a reminder on my phone for the next 5 nights as I'm useless.

It's weird as I'm feeling the same. The other day when I started spotting I felt really upset but now it's just like yes another cycle and another chance! Are you going to do opks this month?

I know what you mean about people knowing and still no baby. I do feel like at family gatherings people are extra watchful of if im drinking alcohol or not etc. I think if we get to the point of starting ivf for definite then things will be different and I'll be telling most people, but still hoping it won't come to that.

I don't watch love island sorry (probs the first thing we don't have in common!😂) but my friends do and have heard of him. I saw the news too. And last week with luke Perry from Riverdale passing away, it's so sad. It does make you wonder, you never know what's around the corner!

Hiiii! How are we ? Af is just about over for me. I’m on my third day of clomid .

It is very weird how we’ve synced ! It would be a lovely story to tell if we do get our bfps at the same time !! It’s good news that the clomid have shortened your cycles .

What contraception did you have before? Sorry if you’ve mentioned it before ? I only ask because I had the copper coil (non hormonal) and was told once it’s out it’s out and won’t sffect TTC . These past 2-3 cycles have been like my periods before having the coil fitted . Wondering if I’m going back to ‘normal’ . Again, can’t you tell I’m still clutching at straws - no matter how small they are 😂🙈

It’s all so very sad in the news at the minute with all these terrorist attacks, suicides , deaths :( you’re right, we have no idea what’s round the corner .

When and if ivf comes then I will def speak to both parents and close family - maybe a few close friends. Think we’d need them around us, supporting us.
X

Yep I took my third Clomid last night too. I thought I was ok with the side effects but I had a mild breakdown at work yesterday 😂 hadn't had one for a few weeks, when I looked back to the last time it happened, it was on exactly the same day of my cycle! Which surely can't be coincidence?!

I used to be on the pill, I stopped taking it about 6 months before we started ttc. We get told there are no long-term side effects but I don't know. Because I have PCOS, before i went on the pill I didn't really have any symptoms and my periods were bang on 28 days, but I think my symptoms worsened as I got older and I didn't realise because it was masked by the pill. After we eventually have a baby, I've decided not to go on any hormonal contraception again.

Af almost over too... which means it's time to start DTD again! Must admit I have enjoyed this little break. Definitely going to do opks again this month..my next hospital appt is in a few weeks too, so will see what they say!

That’s good that you’ve recorded how you felt this time in your last cycle . I do that- it helps me tell myself it’s my hormones and not me losing the plot !!

I’ve got headaches at the mo- all in the forehead which I’ve read can be a side effect to clomid .

Our next appointment is 28th or 29th April . Will start the TTC SMEP on day 8 and what and see. This time last year we stopped trying for 3 months . 1- because I didn’t want a baby near Xmas and 2- we booked Vegas for our 30ths (dh and me are days apart) .
However, now I couldn’t care less when my baby will potentially be born!

Was it like a panic attack at work or feeing down/upset? X

Yep, we used to think of when we ideally wanted a baby to be born and now I couldn't care less, I just want one!

Definitely helped recording moods, I'm pretty sure it was you who recommending doing it, so thanks! Today has been ok. So yesterday was just a very stressful day and I could feel a panic attack bubbling beneath the surface, but then I was also feeling really weepy and upset for stupid reasons. I'll be so happy when we don't have to take Clomid anymore! I'm hoping it's third cycle lucky for me. My appt is in 3 weeks so I think I'll be on cd21, I'm hoping they can at least check my bloods or something for reassurance.

How was your day today? Has your af finished now?

Morning :)

Yeah I think I did mention recording your moods- it’s helped me over the years. If I feel a wobble of anxiety, I remind myself to look where I am and then it reassures me I’m not becoming a nutter 🤪

Af was over by early this week. Mine only lasts 3-4 days but I get spotting for a day or two before since taking clomid.

I’m currently cd 9- we dtd last night and he’s away until tomorrow with work, so think we’ll try the smep again. I’ll start the ov tests tomorrow on cd10.

We’ve got lots of changes happening in school and I keep thinking “hopefully I’ll be on maternity by then.” But I’ve been saying that to myself for over a year now !

I’m trying to tell myself that we’re def going to have to have ivf - if I think like that , it might help me relax a bit more and be surprised if I do get that bfp!

Hope you’re having a nice weekend ! X