TTC baby #1 for 18months - losing hope

[Barles111]

Hi all,

Looking for help, advice and just friendly chatter .
Myself and my husband are 30, in good health and have been ttc our first baby for over 18months .
I have regular cycles and have been under Nhs treatment since June last year.
Hubby’s swimmers are all good too after testing.
I’ve had scan after scan to check ovulation, blood test after blood test, HSG to check blockages in my tubes! You name it- the Nhs have checked it. And apart from an 11 day luteal phase (some say that’s ok, some say that’s short) and inconsistencies in progesterone levels - I’m all okay.

I’ve been given 4 cycles worth of clomid incase I’m not ovulating regularly ...
and AF has just showed her stupid face today!

This is going to be our 3 round of clomid ... my consultant said the next step is IVF - which scares the life out of me.

I am dreading the ‘unexplained infertility’ words to come out of their mouths .

We’re both taking supplements, eating certain foods ! I just don’t know what else to do.

I feel like my time is running out ... any help or advice would go a long way at the moment.

Thank you all in advance !
X

Hey! My af has been shorter since taking Clomid - not that I'm complaining! Have the 2 days of spotting too... So cd10 today, I started opks yesterday, got low yesterday and high today. Last cycle I got peak on cd14 so we started dtd from Saturday night, aiming for every other day. It already sounds tiring 😂

Well Fingers crossed you'll be on mat leave by this time next year! I think it's true about saying you're definitely having ivf to help you relax , it does make you feel like you have some control over things. I keep trying to visualise that positive pregnancy test. I think if I finally see that damn second line I will actually pass out! Another colleague has told me she is expecting and she only started trying 3 months ago 🙄

Everyone and I mean everyone seems to be pregnant!!
I cannot wait for the bfp- I literally crave that moment of finding out and being able to tell people !
We started on Saturday, dh is back tonight so will try and dtd tonight - providing he’s not shattered !
I haven’t done an ov test today! You’ve reminded me as I’m also on cd 10! Synced !!!!
This maybe our month- and we’ll have Christmas babies ! Jesus and Joseph 😝 x

Yep! Honestly it does feel like every damn person in the world is pregnant sometimes! I dreamt last night that I took 3 pregnancy tests - 2 frers and 1 cb digital and left them on my bedside table, woke up and they were all positive! It was so amazing. I can't wait until it's reality. I don't think I'll be able to believe my eyes.

Did you manage to dtd last night? We tried with all good intentions but I think the pressure got to DH a bit so nope. Tonight has to happen! Hope you had more luck than me!

An Xmas baby would be great! Any baby please!

Hi! Hope you’ve had a good day.

Had a text last night ... BAM someone else I know - pregnant ! In the nearly two years we’ve been TTC, this is her 2nd pregnancy ! When is it our turn !!!!!

Sounds like a nice dream - shitty reality when you open your eyes :(

I’m on cd 13- we dtd Saturday (cd8 ) and yesterday (cd12) . We’re hopefully trying tonight because I’ve had my peak result tonight .

How are you getting on? X

Oh man.. it doesn't get any easier does it, getting the pregnancy news. Especially 2 in the same time frame as you. That's so difficult. I will never understand why this is so unfair. I know someone with a 6 month old and she's already 3 months pregnant again!

Great news on your peak result. I've yet to get mine - on day 5 of high today so feeling a bit worried it's not going to happen as it's already cd14. Finally managed to dtd last night too. The 3 previous days DH just couldn't do it, I think he's feeling stressed with work. I felt so frustrated with him as we only have these 6 chances with the clomid and we're already halfway through and can't afford to waste cycles. I know he's more than a sperm donor lol but if it comes to ivf I'm the one who has to have all the treatment and synthetic hormones and operations. Was just really annoying. Thankfully though last night was all systems go lol. And it's Friday yay! Hope you have a nice day x

Hiiii!
Any joy with your peak result in the end?

My dh wasn’t able to dtd on Thursday- I got arsey with him but then I soon realised it’s pressure on him too. I’m not got a good feeling this month .

I’m on cd16 and today, I’ve felt so hormonal! Bit my sisters head off today 🙈 oops !

I just don’t get how easy some people can get pregnant ! It’s my birthday next week - 31... thought I’d be a mum by now ! Or at least pregnant !

Have you had a good weekend ? X

Hi! No joy at all. On cd17 and still flashing high. Think I'm going to give up. Really hope I've just missed peak rather than it not happening. I hope the clomid hasn't stopped working for me so yep I'm the same as you, really have zero hope for this month, just want to get it over with. God knows when to expect AF now!

How are you feeling about turning 31? And how did you find mother's day yesterday? Had to stop looking at Facebook because of all the super cute posts everyone with kids puts up.

Also, you never know! You may still be pregnant by 31 but just not know it yet 😉

Maybe you’ve just missed your peak . Is there a certain time you do an ov test? Maybe it’s down to timings . Just keep trying to dtd when you can! We only managed it 3 times in my window this month .
I’m ok about turning 31- just thought I’d have a baby by now. I panicked the day before my 30th! That was wobble !! Didn’t want to enter into my 30s at all- but now I’m in it it’s fine! Just make me a baby!!

Mother’s day was ok - had a nice meal with the family- luckily I wasn’t dwelling on things .
X

I always do the opk first thing in the morning. So hoping that somehow I just missed the peak. Going to keep trying to dtd every few days. Got my next hospital appt next week so feeling nervous about that. Yours must be coming up soon too?

I'm the same. When I was turning 30 i was convinced the universe would give me my baby lol. Honestly thought i would be done and dusted with 2 kids by 30! Found out yesterday some one I know is pregnant with their 3rd child. I just want one!

MAybe it’s your timing of the test. I’d read that you shouldn’t do the first urine of the day as it can miss the LH surge. I’ve just googled it to see if I’ve made it up (😂) and a few sites say avoid first urine - test anywhere between 10am and 8pm but test similar times each day .

Another baby bomb! Everyone is multiplying rapidly !!!

My appointment is 29th April - haven’t had my letter come through yet though. Is this appointment to discuss ivf or see how clomid is going ?
X

Oh really? Bloody hell I've been doing the test at the wrong time all these months 😂 ok I'm feeling better about just potentially missing peak then. I did get lots of ewcm so I just went with that instead. No more opks for me, I think it just stresses me out too much! DH said he's going to throw them all out lol.

This appt is to discuss the results of my ultrasound scan that I had a few months ago. And he had said if I hadn't conceived within 3 or 4 months of Clomid I have to have a test to check if my tubes are clear, is that HSG? Have you had that done before? I've heard it's rather unpleasant. My doctor didn't exactly have the nicest bedside manner so I'm not looking forward to seeing him again. But if he can help me get pregnant it's worth it.

So it's your birthday week! Happy birthday! Are you doing anything nice to celebrate or going anywhere?

Hiii sorry for the long reply . Can’t belive how quick this last week has gone !
It’s my hubbys bday this week too so we’re off out for a few meals.
We’re both full of cold- feel crap!

What day is your appointment ? Yeah I had the hsg so if you do have to have it I can give you the low down .

Where are you with your cycle at the mo? I’ve been spotting for 3 days and I came on this morning 🤬 so that’s more clomid for me .
Good luck with your appointment !
X

Aw sorry to hear you've been under the weather. Even more sorry to hear of AF

So you'll never believe it. My appointment was cancelled last minute so f-ing pissed off. So have to wait for yet another appt to come through the post. Which will now also delay the hsg. Starting to wish we went private now.

Cd25 here, I have a feeling it will be a 32 day cycle so still another week yet!

You’re kidding ! What a joke ! So bloody frustrating when you build yourself up to it and have questions needing answering !!
Hope you’re not waiting long !

Yeah af is fully in swing - was only a 24 day cycle this time. Back to clomid tonight !
X

I wish I was kidding! Got another appt through for 6 weeks time. It's gonna go very slowly!

How many Clomid cycles do you have left now? I'm on cd27 and tmi bit of pink when j went to the loo so pretty sure af is on its way for me too. Another friend has told me she is going to start ttc #2. I'm really happy for her but I'm pretty sure she will get pregnant and give birth and I'll still be here with no pregnancy and no baby!

Hiiiiii!
I am soooo sorry for the late reply! Hectic week with birthday celebrations for me and the dh , then we had a wedding tues so it’s been go go go for us.
Did af arrive ??
I’m on cd10- so we’re going to give it a go later. I have one more month of clomid . I’ve got my appointment on the 29th so not long until I find out what exactly will happen next.
Hope you’re okay x

Hey no worries! Sounds like a fun week though, great to take your mind off everything. Had a few days spotting and AF arrived this morning 😫 so I'm back to cd1. That was a 34 day cycle so I really don't think the Clomid is working. Feeling v disheartened as really hoped it would have worked by now.

Hi Willow ! Again, so so sorry for taking forever to reply! Bad bad virtual friend ha .

Sorry to hear you af has arrived and that is a long shitty cycle !! When is your next appointment ? They need to be scanning you to see if you’re ovulating on the clomid . If I remember rightly you haven’t been scanned have you, since starting clomid ?

I had an appointment on Monday- she gave us two options 1. Refer us for ivf straight away or 2. She would agree and prescribe a final 3 months of clomid as she said she’s seen some couples get pregnant after the usual 6 months on clomid.

We chose more clomid as I’d rather try all options the nhs Throws is before ivf. We’re meeting in aug/ sept time and if we’re not pregnant, it’s ivf. Scary, scary thought !

I’m on cycle day 24 today so I’m due on tomorrow. Since taking clomid, I’ve been spotting 2-3 days before my period and I haven’t had any spotting yet, but today I’ve felt af cramps- eurgh! So I think it’s all starting allllll over again for us !
Hope your dh is ok with it all too- I think it affects them more than they let on :(

Hope you’re ok x

Hi! Yeah I'm on CD15 now. I did have bloods to check if I ovulated on my first round but they don't do any further checks, just assume that if it's worked once, it's working. I've got a few weeks until my next appt, been quite good so far this month just trying not to think about it all for once.

It all does seem to move quickly with ivf once it's in place doesn't it. I would have chosen more Clomid too. I am starting to just think that ivf is inevitable though, I just can't picture in my head getting pregnant and taking a test and everything naturally.

Ooo could be a positive thing that you've not started spotting yet??? Everything crossed for you!!!!

Thank you.
I’m the same- I just can’t picture myself pregnant ! I want it and I want to picture the day where I get a bfp but I just think it’s not going to happen for me.
I think that’s why I kept forgetting to come on here as I’ve tried to not think about it much this month.
I’ve had a slight spotting today- was more of a smear when I went to the toilet (tmi) . I normally get this the 2 days before my period so I’m not holding on to anything .

Suppose it’s good that we’re trying to put it to the back of our minds. I have my sisters baby shower this weekend - excited for her but dreading a “when are you going to have kids?” Comment !
3 day weekend though! Going to have a drink tonight i think! Had a rough week- some young lad pulled out on me this week . Luckily no one was hurt- apart from my car!

How’s work been ?
X

It's really good that you have managed to keep your mind off it! I kind of thought (and hoped) maybe you hadn't been on because you got your bfp, so was sad to hear that wasn't the case. Anymore spotting today?

Work has been ok thanks. I've been ok recently in terms of controlling my anxiety, I think the longer and lighter days make a massive difference.

Sorry to hear about your car! That's a nightmare. Is there much damage? Hope the baby shower goes ok, I really hope for your sake that nobody says anything to you. My MIL made a comment a few weeks ago in front of the whole family about waiting for grandkids - I was fuming!!!

Oh no! That’s abit insensitive! I just don’t think people get it !

That’s good news that you’re dealing with your anxieties. Mine are abit heightened at the minute !! I was talking to a girl at work today and I asked if she had a good eve blah blah, she told me her friend who has been married 8 months is really struggling as they’ve being trying to get pregnant since their wedding and haven’t yet caught .
I don’t like to admit this but in my head I was like f 8 months is nothing / try nearly two years !!! But deep down I also get how frustrating, impatient and disheartening it all is.
It’s made me feel abit panicky As now I’m thinking, if she’s really struggling and having time off work because of TTC for 8 months - what am I doing nearly 2 years down the line .
This image of time being a mum is slowly fading away and I’m struggling to see if we’ll ever get our own family . 🥺

Baby shower was lovely thank you. There were another 2 pregnant girls there . There was a lady I used to work with there or ended up adopting after failed ivfs. That’s also made me think- shall I look into it !?
No one made any comments to me but one of my sisters friends who outright doesn’t want kids - whispered to me, do you get all those comments and questions about children all the time? So we had a little rant together about how nosey and forward people are !

Where are you in your cycle at the moment ? I have fingers crossed !
X

Ohhh I wish it had been 8 months! I think it's really normal to feel like that, when yuve been trying over 2x as long. Infertility is such a shit thing. I feel the same way about struggling to see it happen. I found out ANOTHER one of my friends is pregnant last weekend. Honestly everyone makes it look so damn easy. It's getting harder and harder to try and be happy for people.

Adoption is an interesting one. I think you're a long way off it, but i think it's a great thing to keep in mind. I don't know if you saw that film out a few months ago called "instant family", it was all about adopting a family and it really made me think about it. I would be open to but my DH won't even consider it, he won't say why though. Maybe something to do with having no siblings so his parents wanting a "real" grandchild? It would make no difference to me or my mum, she would see them as equal. What does your DH think about it?

I'm on cd22 today! I reckon still another 2 weeks until AF. No opks this month! How about you?

Hiiiiii! Wow how quick has this month flown !??!!
I’ve been rubbish these past 2 months messaging on here so i am sorry!

How are you getting on and where are you upto?

I’m cd 4... 🙄 af came on Tuesday , so it’s all systems go again as of next week !
I’m vastly approaching the months where everyone is due their babies. I am excited for them all, but I am also thinking will it ever be me !

We haven’t spoken a great deal about adoption but I think later down the line- if we’re no pregnant by our mid 30s and we’ve been down the ivf route then I think it’ll be a more serious consideration . I’m gonna keep going though before I even research that route. All so bloody frustrating ! Just let me be pregnant !!!

Considering acupuncture - I’ve had a few people recommend it . Maybe that’s worth a shot ?
Hope all is well your end ? X

... had another 2 pregnancy bombs this week ☹️ Ahhh it’s hard!!
Hope you’re having more luck than we are !
X