TTC after pregnancy loss - tread 28 - Bfp will be coming

[Lilimum6]

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Welcome to any new ladies and sorry for your loss.

Let's have a roll call ladies

[Dimblebimble]

Hi ladies, hope you're all doing okay x

On Friday it will be 2 weeks since my d&c (second one), but I've noticed a bit of an issue (sorry if it's a bit TMI). The bleeding will begin to peter out and go brown, but then whenever I, ahem, climax (not through intercourse) I start bleeding fresh bright red blood with some small clots. After I climax I also have a gurgling noise in my tummy for a few hours. I've noticed a definite pattern.

Do you think it's just the uterus contracting and squeezing out any remaining blood? Would it still be bright red after almost 2 weeks? Could it be anything more sinister (e.g, internal bleeding aggravated by muscles contracting?). Has this happened to anyone else?

There's no point going to the doctors until it's been 2 weeks, and last time he told me that even if you're still bleeding/ have a positive test after 2 weeks they just say wait another week and see what happens.

[Laney79]

@Catconfusion oh no, I'm so sorry lovely. Thinking of you and hoping it's not ectopic xx

@Dimblebimble sounds a bit strange-would make sense that it's uterus contracting. My bleeding post mmc number 1 lasted weeks and weeks so two weeks isn't unusual -I didn't have surgery though xxx

[Retrieversandredwine]

@AliceRR I'm glad your AF had returned and you are starting to feel a little better. I keep thinking of you- strange as it sounds, you're the stranger on the internet who brings me strength every day. You're doing so well xxx

[Nirupa]

@dimblebimble
I still have bright red blood after two weeks (although the first week I went for a scan and had a ‘viable’ pregnancy.. until I MC in the second week.
The dr at the EPU did however tell me that if strong bleeding continues after 10 days I should come right back.

Wishing you all a quick and painless remainder of MC so we can all move on without the constant reminder of our loss

[AliceRR]

@Nirupa Thank you. What we are going through is heartbreaking but I know I would have been devastated if I’d had a loss earlier on too.

@Retrieversandredwine Thank you. You’re very kind.

@InDreamland I am also grateful for the time I had with my baby during my pregnancy. I know I probably had a bit longer and my situation is may be different but I was the happiest I’ve ever been and the very sad fact that she is not wish us any more doesn’t take any of that away.

Obviously one of the things of being pregnant is the expectation of a future with your baby and that has gone, and I am grieving that, but she was real and the bond I had with her was real and it was wonderful 💕

@bluebelltulip I hope you are doing ok

@MyHeartIsBroke... Hope you are ok and finding the counselling helps. I know it’s easy to say but make sure you put your own health and well-being above work. I hope you have an understanding employer.

Hugs to all of you

[Bluebelltulip]

Hope you are ok Catconfusion.

Dimblebimble not exactly the same but I find if I climax the day before AF is due it tends to trigger it early.


Thank you for asking after me AliceRR glad your cycle is returning it's reassuring for you and tracking makes sense even though you are not ready yet.


It's been a tough week with my babies due date, can't believe it's now 8 weeks since she was born.


What I thought might have been implantation bleeding has given way to full AF. Still trying to be fairly relaxed about it but that's a lot easier said than done.

[Raincart2017]

Just a quick update on where I'm at. I tested yesterday and it was a BFN however AF still hasn't come it's now CD34! I'm really confused as I have been having vivid dreams and constipation plus more cm than i normally have before and these were early symptoms I had before BFP. I just want to know either way!

[Catconfusion]

Thanks @Bluebelltulip it wasn't ectopic thank goodness. Heavy bleeding and cramping after chemical pregnancy and first bleed since ERPC.

I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you've been through. You're so incredibly brave! Xx

[Catconfusion]

@Laney79 thanks and I'm ok, not ectopic. The GP was being cautious in sending me to the hospital but at least I got checked over. Xx

[Lilimum6]

Hello ladies @Dimblebimble hun I'm having the same problem though after sex. I've never had it before but I have had multiple erpc's so that could be the reason.

So I'm Cd6 today ( I know that doesn't sound like much but to me after struggling with 2 mmc in 6 months it's a huge mile stone for me) and cb advanced monitor asked for the first stick today. Let the poas madness begin. Can't believe I'm back doing this again for the seventh time now. I must be mental putting my self though this again.

[Laney79]

Morning ladies. Hope you are all ok.

So CD1 for me after a 32 day cycle...it's not right -my cycles aren't settling at all. I've had 53,35,28,24and now 32 after my second natural loss. I'm fed up and scared about what it means. I was already pregnant again by this point after my first loss (even with the long drawn out process to actually complete the miscarriage) after two 26 day cycles. Going to see the GP next week, and I've bought a female hormone check kit to do on cd3. And it's bloody painful too. Sorry, just feeling really low and fed up. Must've been bad yesterday, counsellor asked if I'd had suicidal thoughts (which I haven't...but I do want to "punish" my useless carcass). Suspect the depression is yet another issue linked to the obviously screwed hormones.

@Catconfusion so pleased it wasn't ectopic lovely.

@Lilimum6 you are incredibly strong. So much stronger than I think I could be. Ditto @AliceRR xxx

[Catconfusion]

Hi @Laney79 it certainly does sound like your hormones are making matters worse. It's so cruel how they mess with you. I hope you get the support you need from your GP. It's such a lonely experience not knowing what's going on in your body so hopefully you'll get some support in understanding it and some treatment options.

I was so relieved not ectopic. I could have kissed the ground. Today I've realised just how much my life has revolved around pregnancy and loss and it scares me. Just really lost myself through it. We're going to go away at the weekend to a 40th birthday and stay in a fancy hotel. I've not done anything socially like this since my wedding in Oct so I'm hoping it helps bring me out of my funk!

Xx

[Bluebelltulip]

Hope you have a good time @Catconfusion we all need a break sometimes.

[Catconfusion]

Thanks @Bluebelltulip

How are you feeling? I can imagine it's been really emotional getting AF after such a tough week. Thinking of you and hoping you get a nice and normal cycle. Xx

[Bluebelltulip]

Thanks Catconfusion I'm not feeling great, got some family problems now too, I feel like hiding away but it won't make anything better. It's a cruel world when we are wishing each other normal cycles.

[Catconfusion]

I'm so sorry to hear that @Bluebelltulip The last thing you need is more stress. I hope the family troubles resolve soon. Sometimes hiding away and getting some space from loved ones is a good option if talking doesn't help. Just don't let the lines of communication break down completely.

I know what you mean, normal cycles should just happen anyway. If I'm honest I cling to the fact I ovulated so soon after my missed miscarriage as something that was going right. Knowing now we conceived and that baby didn't make it either makes me feel like nothing is certain. I wish it could be easier to start a family. TTC after loss feels to me like being in a horrendous car crash and then trying to drive again when you can't stop thinking about the wounds you sustained last time.

I just wish I could be more positive! Guess it takes time. Xx

[Bluebelltulip]

Catconfusion I like that analogy, after a loss you realise that there is no certainty in TTC and bringing a baby into the world. It's something that goes smoothly for many, like traveling in a car, but for those that lose or crash a routine thing is suddenly much more risky.

[Lilimum6]

Just a quick one : it you use a 2 hormone opk how many days before your LH surge do you get your first flashy face on clearblue

[Laney79]

@Lilimum6 mine varies...it's been 1,4,2,and 7 days of flashys before peak on the clearblue connected. Those cycles have been 35,28,24,32 days.

@Catconfusion have a lovely trip away. TTC has become all consuming after my losses, I miss the lass I used to be.

@Bluebelltulip virtual hug. Sounds like a really tough time xx

[Pop1234]

Hi everyone

Sorry I've been quiet. Trying to keep a positive head after I got my BFP. AF was due today and lines are really dark now. I have an early scan booked at EPU in 3 weeks time. One minute I'm so positive, the next minute I'm struggling to imagine I'll ever get a positive outcome from being in the EPU scanning room at the hospital after 3 recurrent miscarriages since May last year.

Hugs to all and I will keep you updated when I can. Please keep your fingers crossed for me x

[Catconfusion]

Arh @Pop1234 it's completely understandable to take some time away from MN and focus on your own situation. Great you're having an early scan though. All you can do is ride out the time until then and try and be as positive as you can. Keep busy and don't be hard on yourself if you have a bad day. Pregnancy is so hard after loss and you're doing so well after your recurrent issues. I'm sure you'll have a more positive experience in the scanning room this time. I bet the hospital staff will be so happy for you when they see you.

Good luck and keep us posted! Xx

@Laney79 thanks so much. It really does change you! Starting a family is no longer an exciting experience. It's fraught with stress and grief. I too wish I could have the optimism I had before this but it's so hard! Xx

[ale2992]

2dpo here I think not 100% as my cycle feels like it's all over the place after my chemical. It even sure if I ovulated this month 👎🏻
I feel like I did but my opks didn't pick it up, I can't test between 8-4 when I'm at work though so hoping I just didn't catch it on a test? I got my usual ovulation pains. I was getting very anxious so I stopped testing as it was making me worse.
Af is due between 2nd and 4th according to my apps but again I'm still not sure...
I hate not knowing when to expect it

[Catconfusion]

Arh good luck @ale2992 I hope you're doing ok. Sounds like you did O so hoping you'll get a bfp. I've had a chemical since you were last on here. Am so nervous about what my cycle will do now I'm cd4. I had a very healthy cycle after my MMC and got bfp but it didn't stick so two miscarriages back to back. Xx

[ale2992]

@Catconfusion sorry to hear that, it is so unfair to have it snatched away so quickly.

[Laney79]

@Pop1234 do whatever you need to lovely, it's a really anxious time. I'm sure we'll all feel the same with any future BFPs. Wishing you the stickiest of stickies xx

@Catconfusion how's the pain now? Has it eased off? Hope it has so you can enjoy your weekend away etc.

@ale2992 fingers crossed for you. I too hate not knowing when af is due-I rely on my opks as I know she should arrive 12/13 days after ov for me (my luteal phase is the one thing that hasn't got too screwed by my miscarriages)

Cd2 here, heavy-ish and painful cramps yesterday, let's see what the witch brings today. If I don't catch this cycle I won't be pregnant by Bows due date in April, and I guess it's my last shot at a 2019 baby. Can I just say that sometimes life is an absolute b**tard and so bloody unfair. Thanks. Feel better for that.