TTC after pregnancy loss - tread 28 - Bfp will be coming

[Lilimum6]

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Welcome to any new ladies and sorry for your loss.

Let's have a roll call ladies

@KnitKitty thank you for asking after me. I'm OK still waiting for AF to show up and I'm starting to get upset by this waiting now. I've still not heard from rmc. How long does it normally take to get an appointment at rmc.

Everyone I'm thinking of you all xx

@KnitKitty I temp have done throughout the last 10 months it's on thing I have to focus on at the moment so it's been really helpful for me. It's never made me crazy. I use my phone as an alarm clock and I put the thermometer on the phone that way I pick that up as I hit snooze so never miss it. It does become habit after a week or so.

@Lilimum6 fingers crossed af comes shortly-how long did they say it was likely to be after your scan? The waiting is the worst. Xxxx

@Lilimum6 How long is a piece of string????? It will all depend on your area and waiting times. I heard from mine about a month after I was referred with a letter saying basically we know you've been referred but we can't get you an appointment yet. However, not long after that I got a phone call with a cancellation appointment a few days after. Then for my second appointment it will be 16 weeks after my first (was supposed to be 8-10 weeks after). I chased them up twice. Don't know if that had any affect on getting my appointment through or not, but you can always contact the department to check they've had your referral through if you haven't heard anything yet.
Thanks for the advice about temping. My thermometer should arrive on Monday.

I probably won't be around for a few days now ladies; I've been organising my sister's hen-do this weekend so I'm going to be too busy to pop in.
Hope you all have good weekends.
Massive hugs to those who need it at the moment. xxx

Thank you so much everyone for your kind words, it really means a lot. I had to laugh today- I’m looking for a job and a recruiter sent me something so bad it was funny. He said “it’s quite an unusual one but it’s something that people have found very enjoyable and informative.” Do you know what it was? Being a “patient” for medical students to do ultrasounds on! That’s a big fat no from me!

I have a GP appointment next week and I want to enquire about tests. But I haven’t had 3 miscarriages. I’m 35 but the worry I have is because we will go straight back on the ivf list, if I have an undiagnosed disorder we might waste our nhs round. Plus it’s very hard for us to fall naturally (dh low sperm count) and time is ticking. What sort of cost to go private for some blood tests? @laney79 I know you have gone through similar, it would be great if you could advise. Thank you x

No problem @Mistymeow

I managed to get the nhs to do some of the testing by begging my GP and hospital consultant/Epas nurse. I think they recognised it would help me mentally to try and rule out some of the more obvious causes. They checked my thyroid function, full blood count, hba1c (diabetes), vitamin d, folate, coeliac status, lupus and anticardiolipin. I also did a vag swab to check for any infection.

If you can't get your gp to test I've used both medichecks (they send you a little kit to do a finger prick test or you have to pay about £25 to have a blood sample taken depending on the test) for things like more detailed thyroid and vitamin D (repeat test) and then most recently I had a full thrombophilia screen at the Nuffield hospital locally. That was £199 but included the lupus and anticardiolipin as well as prothrombin, factor v Leiden, etc etc. Also got them to do antibeta2 glycoproteins which was another £50.

I have the list of "standard" tests Tommy's at Coventry do, and that's what I was trying to replicate.

If you want to DM me I can send you some more bits and bobs if it helps. Xxx

Well ladies I have my appointment for rmc which is bitter sweet it's the 14th May which is also my due date for the baby I lost in October you really just can't make it up

Hi ladies, I hope I can join? I had my first BFP on 2nd March that I was over the moon about after trying for 4 cycles, but started bleeding heavily and cramping on Monday. Had an early scan at EPU and then two blood test to confirm hormone levels that I did have a miscarriage unfortunately at 5 weeks..
I feel so confused now with such mixed emotions. Crying here and there (I almost started again when a pregnant lady sat infront of me on the train just now). Also feel guilty for already thinking about TTC again, even though I know I shouldn't. DH is gutted but I know he isn't as heartbroken as I feel which I don't hold against him as I guess it's different for women?

How long did you ladies wait before TTC again? I stopped bleeding yesterday, which has made me feel a lot better as well.

Sorry for rambling, it helps having an outlet to talk to people that might understand what I'm feeling right now.

@LokiCat I was in a similar situation I was 7 weeks and MC 4 weeks ago. We were told by hospital to not DTD whilst bleeding because of infection and to take a pregnancy test once it stops to check there's nothing left. Then there is no reason why you can't start straight away if your mentally ready X based on my normal cycle I was due to ovulate whilst on holiday so we DTD a few times but with no pressure which was nice and will focus on it properly if and when af comes which is due tomorrow in theory. I hope that helps x

I was upset to start but when I got pregnant I was under no illusion MC harken as so many people I know have had them so it took me about a week to get my head around it but I want to get pregnant again asap!

Ah @Lilimum6 that is so shit. But if you're wanting the positive- it's a date for you to focus on.

Also waiting for AF, but in the last few days with the stress of year end and work in general, we have decided to just stop TTC for a few months and take a bit of time for the three of us.

It sounds fairly naff, I used to eye roll at people who said stuff like that. But DH has been busy on the farm all winter, I've been busy with the horses and the added stress of this miscarriage amongst work and DS has really left a dint on us as a couple.

I'm going to put DS to bed, pour us a glass of wine and just focus on the many happy things in my life for a while instead of polarising on the negatives. I might not be on here for a bit - reading other people's fears and concerns sends me into some google deranged symptom spotter and before I was diagnosed with this latest infection, MN had convinced my I had cervical cancer.

Love and dust to you all xxx

@Raincart2017 that does help, thank you! I do want to get pregnant asap again, so I'm sure we'll start trying soon. We're going on holiday on Monday so that will hopefully help me relax! I found out I had PCOS just after I got my BFP (literally two days later) so I'm slightly more worried about difficulty conceiving again, but fingers crossed.

I've read quite a lot of suggestions about waiting for one period before starting TTC. Have any of you been told that?

Wishing you all lots of baby dust to get your BFPs and sorry to read about all your previous losses xx

@LokiCat they only say to wait a cycle to help with dating there is no medical reason to wait. I've read a few articles on this!

Hugs @Lilimum6 is it worth ringing to say you are happy to take a cancellation if there is one?

Welcome @LokiCat - sorry for your loss. These ladies are fab. In terms of TTC -we started as soon as my bleeding stopped (both times) -the only reason they say wait a cycle seems to be accurate dating of pregnancy.

@frillyfarmer sounds like a good plan. Enjoy your wine!

Well as for me I've had my private test results back, all appear normal except for an extra test that the lab did by accident (and hence I got for free!) -seems I have a mthfr gene mutation the c.1286A>C heterozygous one. Seems it's the least problematic of the gene mutations but I need to do more research to figure out if it has any impact.

@frillyfarmer take care, you are absolutely doing the right thing. Your mental health is very important and you have to do what is best for you. I hope you feel less stressed soon. Enjoy the wine!
@laney79 you are so kind, I really appreciate it. I may well DM and ask for that list but I’ll see what my GP says first. I suspect he will say the issue is more likely to be on DH’s side because of his sperm.
@lilimum6 sorry that the timing is so bad. Perhaps it will help you feel like things are moving forwards and you are making positive steps. Hope you can get an earlier appointment.
@lokicat sorry for your loss. It does get easier, I promise. It sounds like you’re good to go try again if you’ve stopped bleeding and had a negative pregnancy test.

We had a small bit of good news, DH’s sperm results have shown more signs of improvement. It gives me hope. It’s weird, I don’t feel any worse than I did after the first mmc. It’s more like the black cloud from last year is back. It will stay with me until I’m holding my own baby.

UPDATE : 😁 finally cd1 I'm now officially on the ttc crazy train

@Lilimum6 yay finally!! Hope you are feeling a bit more positive now.

No letter has come in the post today from the RMC however... at 10dpo I've just had a BFP! This will be pregnancy number 4 since May last year. Please everyone keep something crossed for me!

@Pop1234 fingers firmly crossed for you!!!!

Thank you @Raincart2017 I'm so happy but no nervous. The only difference this time is that I've had 2 cycles instead of just 1. Hoping it makes a difference!!

Congrats Pop1234! Fingers crossed for you!

I've been staying away from mumsnet for a while in an attempt to stress less about ttc. I finally got a bfp this afternoon at 13 dpo! AF not due until Wednesday. I'm so worried it's all going to go wrong again though...

Congrats @Pop1234 and @Beaglemum93 for your BFP. Fingers, toes, eyes and anything else I can cross for you guys that your happy news sticks ❤️

@Mistymeow sorry I don't know your previous history, but am glad you've received some good news.

@Lilimum6 again, sorry I don't know your previous history but glad you can start your TTC journey!

Thanks for the welcome guys, looks like we will start TTC soon. Haven't taken a pregnancy test yet, probably will tomorrow morning on fmu. Have ordered some more OPKs to start our journey again!

Received a letter this morning for my booking in appointment. Was horrible reading it as it started off with 'congratulations on your pregnancy'. DH was livid as he thought EPU would have made them aware.. it's going to be fun making the phone to cancel it 🙈

Congrats @pop1334 and @beaglemum93 lovely to see some bfps coming through. Stay calm and positive is my main advice, it will be scary but just take it one day at a time xx

@laney79 hope you’re keeping well. Glad you got all the results back, be interesting to learn more about the gene mutation. Are you going to stick with aspirin?

@lilimum6 glad you have appt date, perhaps the dates are good karma, new beginnings, the next one will be the one xx

Sorry to see new joiners here, it’s s lovely supportive group.

So I’ve reached 21weeks - unbelievable. For newbies I had 3 mc, went for tests, diagnosed with clotting disorder (APS) fell pregnant again and on treatment. Had 20 w scan this week and everything seems fine. Because of the APS they tested my blood flow to placenta aswell which was within normal range so no adjustment to meds. Still on aspirin every day, going back on heparin injections is the first step if they were concerned. So now we need to monitor growth as APS can restrict and could eventually get to a point that baby is better out than in, back in 2 weeks and 2 weeks again after that, then every 4 weeks up to birth if all normal. So far, so good. I’m already booked for induction on due date as they won’t let me go over, still doing acupuncture - she’s going to try and bring on natural labour from 36w onwards.

It can all be quite clinical at times but I’m getting used to it and feel more attached to baby and more like it’s going to happen, but I’m not gushing with emotion like I thought I would be. Haven’t announced on Facebook or anything which is one of those things you just expect to do! Listening to your body is key I think through all stages of the journey, the acupuncture and yoga has helped a lot with that xxx

@Yukka that wonderful news hun hope the next half goes just as well for you x ☓
@Pop1234 and @Beaglemum93 congratulations fingers crossed for h & h pregnancies xx

Aww congrats @Pop1234 and @Beaglemum93 fingers crossed for sticky healthy beans.

Oh @LokiCat That's bad-epu should've told them, mine certainly did. Hugs.

@Yukka so lovely to hear from you and with such good news too. Dead chuffed for you. Really pleased they are keeping a close eye on you too. As for me, I think I will still stick with the aspirin, most drs seem to stick to the it doesn't seem to harm but may help mantra so I'm going to give it a try. I need to do something different if I fall pregnant again. I know I've already got my vit D levels up but aspirin seems to help so many people it's worth a shot. Going to speak to the dr too about the mutation as it seems I may be better on methylfolate rather than folic acid.

@Yukka and @Laney79 this asprin thing is worrying me. I know yukka that you took it prior to bfp and it worked for you. I started taking it as soon as I got bfp this time but I still had a mmc. Should I already be on it before bfp. Do you think starting asprin after bfp maybe had an impact on the mc. I'm so undesired what to do. The epu said not to take it before 8 weeks but since most of my mc's happened before then that seems pointless. I'm torn. But I have to do something different next time.

@lilimum I can only go on my experience really. When waiting for test results RMC consultant said start aspirin next bfp regardless as soon as I get bfp - not 8 weeks. I did a bit of research and I arrived at the conclusion that taking before bfp would be better, because... if your an early mc’er like I was, then successful implantation could be an issue. If the uterine lining isn’t as habitable as it needs to be, then little bean will get partially in, I’ll get a bfp then a few days or a week later it will eject because lining is no good. I can’t prove this... but my logic was to start a fresh cycle on aspirin. My acupuncturist also said that as my periods were short and ‘clotty’ she could see the logic, that after all is the lining if your womb coming out. So I went ahead, fell pregnant, still pregnant today.

BUT I have to stress that I was then diagnosed with clotting disorder (4 days before getting the bfp) and I was so glad I’d taken my own advice. Perhaps if I’d tried aspirin on number 2 instead of number 4 I’d have a10 mth old or perhaps those mcs were nothing to do with clotting, just bad chromosomes.... being old... etc

I think it’s up to you and what you feel comfortable with. If you can face a ‘what the hell’ scenario and try everything then go for it. If you’re really not sure - wait for your rmc appointment, they will know more than the current person advising you.

I know it’s really hard, but equally with your number of mcs something mustn’t be quite right xxxx