The July '19ers - knocked down, but never beaten

[Frazzlerock]

Hey @TinselBee, @Rose68, @BettySwoll0cks

Here is the thread I promised us.

Somewhere for us to help eachother, pick one another up, cry, scream, laugh..

Some of us may be looking to try again, some may be putting things on hold. Whatever our plans, lets get through this together.

(I don't know whether conception was the right choice of topic, I can always have this moved to a more suitable topic if anyone would like me to)

I will look through our threads again and see if I can @mention anyone else who might like to join us

What the actual fucking hell @TwittleBee !! This is horrendous, no wonder you're having a drink. Like @Rachyrach83 says I too thought you both may have the same thing given you're so poorly too, no?

I cannot believe your MIL said those things. Honestly! What business is it of hers anyway!?

What a time of it you've had recently 😢

A big hug to you Twittle, what a shitty run of luck. Sounds like your MIL is being a bit of a witch too; FWIW I had a nightmare with my MIL for a good few years but now I look back and realise that she was really struggling with other stuff going on in her life and it just made her impossible to deal with. Which is not to say that your MIL's behaviour is ok, but just maybe you can leave it with her while you concentrate on the important stuff like your DH's illness, your kids and your own health xxx

DS and I had his last breastfeed before bed tonight. Has made me feel a bit emotional. He says he understands that he's a big boy now, and big boys don't need their mumma's milk, but I have my doubts that he'll still feel that way at bedtime tomorrow 😭

Oh my goodness Twittle that sounds awful, I hope you're all OK. MIL sounds like she's definitely not helping the situation. I'd definitely call in sick if you can.

I had an awful night's sleep last night. The electricity for our whole street went off at 1am and is still off now (9am) meaning no air con so the house was unbearably hot. Couldn't even open the windows cause mosquitos kept coming in. Despite being really hot my temperature was low-ish when I woke up so I'm less confident ovulation happened.

Oh @Twittlebee, you poor thing and your poor DH. What an awful thing to happen. I really hope they can find out what is making you both feel so unwell.

@BettySwoll0cks that's a massive thing for you both. I hope it goes well today when it doesn't happen.....

@Kinsters - urggghh to the rubbish night sleep. I am still not sleeping well for the last 2 weeks and it is getting to me now. I hate it when my a/c goes, although it is a lot colder here at the moment so not so bad. I hope you get power back soon. Maybe the temp was just because you woke up loads?

I have SUCH a heavy AF - it's awful. Day 3 now and no letting up. Sorry for the info, but big pieces of tissue/clots. I didn't sleep well last night as I was so worried about leaking everywhere. Painful cramps (not horrific but worse than I normally get). My doctor did warn me the first AF would be heavy but it's pretty bad.

edidxb could it be retained products being expelled do you think? Might explain why you didn't ovulate. And yeah, I think my temp this morning is unreliable. I was up at 3:30 talking with DH about the electricity and then tossed and turned until 7:15.

I'm really dreading the first period. I didn't have one for 7 years with the coil in then only had a couple of light ones before getting pregnant (nothing I even classed as heavy on FF, just one day of medium the rest light).

We're booking a ski trip! It's last minute (2nd week of Feb) and stupidly expensive and will be ridiculously tiring but I'm looking forward to it. It'll also be a silver lining if I'm not pregnant by then, all the apres ski and falling over for me please!

@TwittleBee hope you and DH are doing better today?

Another one to add to the no sleep wagon. Feel like I was waking every 30 mins all night.

This is smerlin btw, decided to have a new name for 2019!

@twittle big hugs to you all! Think you defo deserved that drink last night!
@bettyswall0cks aww think you deserve to be emotional over the last feed, it’s such a big milestone and step that it’s only natural.
@kinsters don’t know how your dealing with the lack of sleep I am actually evil if I don’t get mine haha I’m not a morning person at the best of times but if I’ve had no sleep I’m beat to be avoided for a few hours until I’ve adjusted!
@edidxb hope the pain lessens today! I am also dreading the first period as I’ve heard quite a lot of people say it’s really painful! Hope you’re looking after yourself and taking it easy!
Happy Monday to the rest of you. Is it wrong that I already can’t wait for bedtime or preferably the weekend? Off to work today and willed myself not to cry. Also stepped on the scales this morning after my weekend of treats and had an eye watering shock so I’m going back to extra extra good eating and drinking this week! Think I have put more weight on in two weeks of drinking and eating out than I did in the last three months. I have to go out for a restaurant meal tonight as my best friend got engaged on New Year’s Eve and could actually cry at the thought of more food. But she’s worth it. Determined from tommorow though. Hope you all have a good day x

Nice new name Pegase !

I've had 3 hours tops sleep as DS woke at 2am and I couldn't get back off due to the pain and DS kept waking up anyway. Could barely move to help him. God knows how I'm gonna do at work. I didn't do my temp obviously as no point.

Also DH has sent me a text this morning saying he doesn't want another baby... He said he doesn't want to try anymore and that we've both been so ill lately and he hates doing the nights. Feel so heartbroken but I know deep down maybe he's right, idk how I would even cope with a baby if I'm still in this much pain plus my job extended my probation due to me having 2 days off for the MC

Twittle I don't know what to say. With illness, work, your DS's sleep and now TTC wobbles from DH you're having a really shit time of it. I hope things start to look a bit brighter once you're all feeling better and the days start getting longer and lighter.

Prosecco I'm OK with not too much sleep and am a morning person anyway. Just a liiitle bit more grumpy than usual. But impossible to know how much is cause its Monday, I hate my job and I'm not pregnant anymore when I should be 12 weeks today and how much is broken sleep.

@Kinsters, we are going skiing at Easter, I can’t wait! I’m so sorry you hate your job, that must be tough.

@edidxb I agree with Kinsters, sounds like you might have some retained products.

@Twittle I wouldn’t read too much into what DH says right now. Both of you need to take some time to recover & see how you feel then. I hope you are okay. xxx

Rose where are you off to? We went to Hakuba in Japan last year (quick and easy for us but snow was apparently a bit slushy - I'm a total beginner so had no idea!). This year we're going to Val D'isere.

I've hated my job since I started but don't see the point in changing as my main problems (being the odd one out and not speaking the language) won't change wherever I work.

@TwittleBee that sounds horrendous! I'm sorry you're having such an awful time! Hopefully he changes his mind after you're both feeling better, maybe he's just feeling a little overwhelmed... my DH decided two mcs ago that he didn't want to try anymore... but not he's saying we will just keep going until we get our rainbow.... hopefully yours will be the same!

So I've come on my first period since the d&c and it's light atm but bloody hell the cramps are crazy! And getting worse 😩 I've got so much to do today aswell!

Has anyone else had a period since the mc?

@TwittleBee I think your MIL is comparing notes with my MIL they sound like the same person! Good on him for being a modern man with taking the double barrelled surname... I think my MIL would have a heart attack 🤣

Morning ladies
@twittle don’t read too much into your DH, mine told me a week ago he wants a divorce during a row... he doesn’t, they just don’t deal well with stress and illness. Just shelve the the ttc talk until you are both better and then I’m sure it will pick back up. Get yourself to dr too!!!

You lot with air con.... I’m jealous of the climate! I’m in fleecy pjs in brushed cotton sheets with duvet and I’m cold!! Lol!!

Princess / edidxb I had my ‘period’.... wasn’t painful but boy was heavy on 1 day.... no clots just thin blood (nosebleed type). Hope it’s our bodies sorting out xx

Just catching up....
@rachy I am dying at the scrambled egg/fanny juice... that's absolutely fucking hilarious! I haven't even told my DH about different types of cm let alone studying it, he would be traumatised...!

Twittle god poor you and your poor DH. Your MIL sounds like a bat out of hell. How is your DH today? It does sound like you've had the same thing. I wouldn't worry about drinking until you see a line... you're certainly not going to do any harm at this stage, if you are, and it sounds like you definitely needed it.
One of my friends suggested that I deal with my MIL by understanding that she's a mean, stupid, nasty old cow - once I understand that's who she is, and expect her to say mean, stupid, nasty stuff in 99.9% of situations, she can't upset me anymore. Bit difficult when your DH is in hospital but it's worth trying... has massively helped me.
Work sound awful. I would definitely get some advice on that - is there a union you can contact? I'm sure once he's feeling better he'll come round. It must be stressful for him knowing you're also not well, have DS to take care of, work...
Hope you feel better soon too, look after yourself xx

Lovely new name @Pegase

@princessbala yes I had my first AF on Christmas Eve which was 31 days since the MC. The cramps I had were horrid too.

@Kinsters I'm so jealous. Val d'isere is stunning and just a really lovely resort. Arguably my favourite. Would love to go again. How was Hakuba? I would really love to go there too. My DH hates skiing - probably the only thing I would change about him if I could - so I'm not sure how many times I'll get to go again.

Morning all,

@Twittle oh love. What a further kick in the teeth I agree with the others though. Hopefully you will both be back on form soon and TTC again. I would hate anyone to go through the hell I did while DP refused to try again. But then you seem on board with his decision right now, and I most definitely wasn't.
I really feel for you guys right now Great advice from @Betty re MIL though!
Your employer extended your probation because of your MC!? What the hell?And you only had two days off FFS. That is insane, so how much longer is your probation now?

Betty oh that must be so hard . I hope things go well tonight. How old is your DS? It's great that he is old enough to understand (so far anyway). I imagine it is very hard on you too.
I might take some BFing tips from you if I am able to have another baby, as you've managed it for a long time. I couldn't even get my milk to come in and it destroyed me at the time, even now I struggle with coming to terms with it as I always wanted to do it and assumed it would just happen when my babies arrived. No one tells you otherwise!

Sorry you had such a shit night's sleep @Kinsters but yay for ski trip!

@edidxb I don't remember my first AF following previous MC's. I don't think they were especially heavy. Although my first was surgical management so imagine they are more likely to get everything out than a natural MC? I don't know. My second I bled so heavily for so long afterwards (weird given it was much earlier than with Emily or Popsy) )that I think my first actual period was probably a relief in comparison.
Maybe, like others have said, you still have retained stuff in there.

@Pegase nice name! I had to google what it meant though, is it linked to Pegasus?

@ProseccoBee I am in the office for the first time today too, though I WFH the last three days of last week. It is a bit of a shock to the system doing the commute again. And I am with you on the weight gain! It sucks. But it was worth it. I think once we are all back into routine again it will fall off.

@princessbala I haven't had a AF yet. I didn't even ovulate until late so now in TWW and expecting AF in the next 10-12 days I reckon.

I still have terrible back pain and I think being sat at my desk at work is not going to help!

Thank you everyone, think DH is probably just really unwell atm and I am too etc so with that and DS' 18 month Sleep Regression its all just a bit much for him, especially with the worries over jobs. I've made it to work and feel a lot better for getting here actually, only in till 4pm too as made it in by 8am so I shall swing by hospital after work to check on DH. We did have this before, when we first started TTC and DS went through a sleep regression then too and DH just said he needs sleep more than another baby.

I'll be taking a test Thursday, I'll be 10dpo so should expect a FRER to pick something up. If there is nothing then I'll be finishing off the bottle of Bailey's that evening.

Kin cant imagine how hard it must be not speaking the language where you work. How do you manage in meetings and social spots like the kitchen etc?

princess ah sorry your cramps are horrid! Hopefully they'll ease for you and this will be a swift AF visit

Rachy I am the same with being wrapped up and still cold!! DH laughs at me when I am wearing thick PJs under the duvet with a blanket too!

Rather that is a good way to look at MIL, just assume the worse and then nothing will surprise me

ratherbe Hakuba was...disjointed? I'm not sure what most ski resorts are like because that was my first ski holiday but you couldn't walk to restaurants or bars in the evening and you had to pick one mountain and stay there for the day which was OK for people who could do all the runs but I got a bit bored doing the same two greens over and over. Also the snow wasn't great - we went end of Feb beginning of March and by the end of the holiday grass/tarp was starting to show through. I didn't mind this so much though as I found slush quite forgiving to ski on!

I also may be biased because I got very bored as we were in a fairly small group with snowboarders and very competent skiers so I ended up alone most of the time. Val d'isere will be a much larger group and varying abilities.

Frazzle they said its because they wanted to give me the chance to decide if I really want to work or if I would prefer to focus on TTC and be a SAHM. It is until 1st April now. Feel like they've done it so they can easily remove me if I get pregnant again.

Good luck at work today, hopefully your back eases up despite being sat at a desk!

Twittle the working language is English so meetings and in the lift etc. are fine it's just socially. There are three main racial groups in Malaysia and everyone hangs out in their group so I don't fit in anywhere. I fit in best with the Chinese as my DH is Chinese but I don't speak Mandarin or Cantonese so its tough to integrate.

Cross post but Twittle that's awful and surely discriminatory? Do you have it on email or is this just a conversation? Either way that's dreadful of them.

Kin ah I see, yeah it is surprising how much socially fitting in and mixing plays in whether you like a work place! I dont think it is discriminatory because I was still in the probation period. Basically you have 0 rights whilst on probation and you dont have full employee rights till you work somewhere for 2 years

@Twittle, if it isn't discriminatory, then it doesn't sound like a very forgiving place to work. Might be worth looking for other jobs?

@Kinsters I don't know how you manage that at work. Mnd you, most of my colleagues are sat with their music in their ears most of the time so I end up talking to myself most days.

Talking of work, the heavily pregnant one is here and don't we know about it I thought I'd be okay (and have been until now) but already feeling shit again about not having my three babies. I can safely say that other pregnant women triggers this off for me.

I just had a very very pale pink wipe and had a very slight temp dip this morning. Clutching at straws that it's implantation. I've checked my preg cycle and had exactly the same then at 5dpo and again at 7dpo (which I am today according to FF). I am trying not to build myself up for failure though.

Frazzle idk, I really like my colleagues here and do feel supported. I think it is just their business outlook maybe? If I am not pregnant now I might consider a move... just it would mean 3 jobs in space of 14 months which will look so shit on my CV.

Oh that does sound so bloomin positive though Frazzle! Keeping my FX this is the one