The July '19ers - knocked down, but never beaten

[Frazzlerock]

Hey @TinselBee, @Rose68, @BettySwoll0cks

Here is the thread I promised us.

Somewhere for us to help eachother, pick one another up, cry, scream, laugh..

Some of us may be looking to try again, some may be putting things on hold. Whatever our plans, lets get through this together.

(I don't know whether conception was the right choice of topic, I can always have this moved to a more suitable topic if anyone would like me to)

I will look through our threads again and see if I can @mention anyone else who might like to join us

@Rose68 we're the same- no way could I part DH from caffeine in a million years so we'll live with that minute risk! The grumpiness would definitely put paid to any DTD!

@smerlin
Are you still getting high on CMFM?
I’m Day 14 now and no peak!!

@Rachyrach83 I honestly don't know how anyone can "stop obsessing & let it take over" - how can something you want more than anything in the world, that your body actually craves, not be an obsession? Surely if you weren't obsessed, it's not a good sign?! Sorry to here it's been rough lately. You're not impatient. It sounds like he's struggling with it all too.
It's a stressful time for everyone...

Rose & Rachy - I think his struggle is keeping it up for a longish period under pressure, so I, erm, helped... then just as he was about to ejaculate, he got the pot ready. We did it again this morning too. It's not romantic but 🤷🏽‍♀️ it's better than nothing 🙈😂

What vits is everyone getting the men to take? DH isn't a huge coffee drinker - my issue is tea... we don't drink too much except over Christmas so think we're ok there & we do eat really well.

@Rose68 I was about 9.5 weeks... but the baby stopped growing at around six weeks... ended up having a d&c because I was still having symptoms and my body wasn't going to let go any time soon.... but I'm with a recurrent miscarriage clinic so they've said they need to do more testing before I can conceive again, my sil has her baby on the 31st so everyone in my family has just forgotten about me now, and I just want to start trying again!

When did all you ladies start thinking about trying again?

@Rachyrach83 yes still just high. I am CD9 though. Definitely worked last time I used the CB OPK sticks as in I got a peak eventually. I think it says 1st cycle you are likely to get a lot of highs.

The cycle I got pg then mc, I wasn't tracking but must have ov around CD22 or later as we didn't have much sex that month!

@princessbala we just kept having sex from when the bleeding stopped. Didn't track anything though as knew residual hcg would mess everything up.

ratherbe it's so unhelpful when people say just stop thinking about it and stop obsessing. I think it's basically impossible to do! We're trying to make babies here... I think that deserves some thought /effort!

Re vitamins both DH and I are now taking pregnancare preconception (his/hers). Before that I was only taking folic acid.

princessbala we've started trying again straight away. That must be really hard with your sil.

Don't get my started on people who say "stop trying" !! Feel like punching them. Did find taking a break from charting helped though.

Oh if anyone is interested I managed to chop off the bit of my chart in fertility friends that was from whilst I was pregnant. I wanted to keep the pre and post ovulation data but get rid of the six week pregnant stretch. You just have to split the pregnancy chart in two and then delete the second chart which seems like its only possible on the desktop site . Took me ages to figure out!

I guess maybe it would have been good to keep so I could compare if I start spotting in a hopefully future pregnancy. I hated seeing it when I flicked back though plus it made the chart comparison not so easy to look at (especially cause when I ovulate i'll want to compare my successful luteal phase to the current one so can't just exclude the pregnancy chart!)

Maybe everyone else has already figured this out and I'm just slow!

Completely agree kinsters! My favourite is when people do the faux understanding nod & impart the wise words of, "It will happen when you least expect it...."

😫

I seem to get.... well you know you can be pregnant! Well that doesn't really help if I can't carry it to term 😒 or people asking what you think you did wrong!?

@princessbala how many mc have you had? I think most of us on here started trying again straight away. I was among the first to mc, my due date was July 2nd, and I knew by 7.5 weeks that it wasn’t viable. I am 43 so that will be the reason why. My cycle post mc was 28 days exactly, we didn’t really try that month but we didn’t do anything to stop it. This is my first proper cycle now... but I’m not holding out much hope. I can understand why you would wait, but I don’t think you have to, I guess it depends on lots of things. xxx

DH is taking pregnacare conception and vitamin C.

So I don't think what I have is hand, foot and mouth. Think I'm proper ill. Since boxing day I've been having hives over my body but Piriton settles it. Now though I'm in agony in bed with swollen joint, high temp and a rash that's mainly on my hand and feet but spread everywhere else now too. Feel so so so rough, can't even walk as the pain is too much

I was actually due June 28th, but they pushed it back to July 4th at my first private scan... I still think I was June 28th and the baby wasn't growing properly at that point.

The scan on Nov 26th showed the heartbeat had stopped. (I was 9+5)
It gets to me when people are told the baby stopped growing at 5 weeks etc.... my baby measured at 5+5.... but was still growing up until 8+6. So I wasn't carrying a dead baby for any more than 6 days... but if that had been my first scan and there was no heartbeat I would have been told the baby died nearly a month before, which simply isn't the case!!

I get 'at least you can get pregnant' from my MIL... great!! I can buy a surfboard, but it doesn't mean I can go surfing!! Getting pregnant and having a baby are worlds apart - and you don't know that until you've experienced this :(

@Rose68 this is my 6th loss, I have blog which clots very easily which was found at my recurrent miscarriage clinic, which means that a blood clot will form and oxygen and nutrients won't make it to the baby, so I have to inject myself with blood thinners next time I become pregnant, but these aren't without risk! I have to have my bloods taken 6 weeks apart to check my levels for this antibody so they know how much of the heparin (blood thinners) to give me, but they aren't taking the first lot until the end of January! I wish I could start to ttc again but I know that this would just happen again, I think my hubby should start taking some supplements too.

@TwittleBee that sounds horrible! I hope you feel better soon!

@Rachyrach83 you're totally right, I've had so many hurtful comments from well meaning people who just don't understand. I've decided to keep it to myself so I don't have to deal with these sorts of comments

Oh Twittle that sounds awful. I hope your DH is taking good care of you xx

@princessbala I'm really sorry for you, how traumatic. I do so hope that you'll have a little one soon.

@Rachyrach83 your comment made me laugh, my mil has said the same thing a few times now. I might give her that line next time 👏🏼

I have had a lovely afternoon to myself & had so much planned... instead I've been deep in threads from as far back as 2008 reading about home insemination success rates 😫

Yes Rachy, the misinformation is tough although I guess there's no way for the dr's to know what happened unless they do earlier scans (which I think should be more routine) .

I don't know what they'd have told me - I saw the baby at 7+5 with a good heartbeat, then at 8+4 it had no heartbeat but it was there and definitely embryo shaped then by 9+0 there was just an empty sac.

Twittle that sounds awful - can you get to your gp or out of hours?

Next time, when it happens (not if!) are you all still going to opt for early scans? We saw a lovely strong heartbeat at 6+3 but lost it 8 weeks exactly.
I naively felt no anxiety after our early scan. Not sure what we'll opt for next time...

princessbala sounds like you've been through a lot. Hopefully 2019 is a better year.

We have discussed this.... I’m going to go for early scan at 8+ weeks
Not a day before

Argh I keep cross posting! ratherbe I've been thinking about this loads but on balance think I'll go for a scan as early and often as I can because I'd want to know as soon as possible if things weren't progressing properly so I could prepare myself.

I don't think I'd trust if they said it all looked fine as that was what I was told this pregnancy so I don't expect an early scan would provide much reassurance.

God its so hard. Having written that maybe you're right Rachy and a scan only after 8 weeks would be better, less chance of false hope because seeing it on a scan earlier than that would definitely give me hope no matter how much I tried not to let it.

I guess I'll cross that bridge when/if I come to it.

Oh my goodness me. I have been absent for a day and it's all been going on!

@Kinsters, @Rachyrach83 and @ratherbeshowjumping I have thought about scans a lot too. I have decided (at the moment as things might change after another BFP) that I won't go for an early scan again. I would want to wait for at least 8 weeks if not 9 or 10. My first mmc I saw a strong heartbeat at 8+4 and the chances are so slim after that yet still at 10 weeks it had gone. This time I had a scan at 4, 5 and 6 weeks and then a 2 week break until 8 and a half when it was then non viable. However, the dates and growth wasn't matching up at 4 weeks and it was just so stressful knowing there could be an issue. I would rather not know. It's the same with the progesterone for me too. Unless it is crazy low I won't take it again as I think it just delayed the inevitable miscarriage and I can't take that again.

If I can make it to 9 weeks that is crucial for me and therefore that's the date I want to wait for until a scan. If anything were to happen before then then hopefully it would make itself known.

@princessbala - welcome to the group.

@Twittlebee you sound really really unwell and I am really worried about you. I hope you can get to a doctor tomorrow or at least call the NHS line?

I keep getting the "at least you can get pregnant" from my boss. And I've had the "don't worry". Well neither help.

@ratherbe and @rose68 I have thought a lot about the turkey basting as my DH goes away quite a lot. But I don't think I could persuade him to do it. A bit like many of you, he doesn't like everything to be about TTC and that really is. Even though he wants to TTC......he's a difficult man at times but also a pretty typical man I think listening to similar stories on here! After my miscarriage in March we didn't DTD at all for 3 months and it almost broke me. He said he just needed a break from it all. I think in hindsight he was grieving as we got pregnant the first month TTC and this was his way of taking control over something.

In other news - I spotted today! It was with ewcm earlier so I thought maybe ovulation but it is turning red so maybe it's a period???? It's possible but I would never normally have ewcm before a period so that's weird.

But nothing is unheard of in these first cycles with us all!

Oh how our bodies like to confuse us ey? edidxb

Regarding the early scans. I'm gonna book 2, one at 7 weeks and another at 9.5 weeks.

Dads taken my to the Walk in Clinic after 111 suggested it might be shingles (ffs!)

Omg @twittle I hope it’s not!!!!
Shingles is horrible
If they confirm it ask about TTC because one of my colleagues had it during IVF and they wouldn’t do the implant for 45 days after she was clear as they said conceiving with shingles was incredibly dangerous xx