Waiting to TTC Graduates Thread

[rollerskaterdata]

Hi lovelies!

A thread for the graduates of those who were waiting to TTC and are now actively trying, or very soon to be actively trying! Apologies if I've forgotten anyone or tagged the wrong people, please do join in or join later as necessary! Hoping we can continue to support and keep each other sane in this TTC madness!
@cupcakesandglitter @NoseringGirl @Pinkroseuk @BusyBee27 @Hofty @Jxtina86 @Jelliestogether

@dottydally the low progesterone is a total guess. I had a positive OPK but my temps were low a few days after then went up a bit before falling again. If AF does show by tomorrow then maybe it could be that? It's a theory based on a little knowledge and a lot of guessing. I spend far too much time googling to try and work out what my body is doing. I thought if my body only produced a little then maybe that's why I had delayed temp increase. It could just be caused by hormone shifts from failing to ovulate.
As far as exercise when TTC and being pregnant goes, you're generally okay to continue at your current level especially when TTC. Once you're pregnant it's important to listen to your body but still good to exercise. I found I preferred different types of exercise in pregnancy though. I lived in the pool when I was pregnant with DS1.

@Pinkroseuk York is one of my favourites for long weekends. Loads to do. I also love trips up to Edinburgh. I'm in Newcastle so both are handy for me for short breaks or even day trips. Newcastle is obviously brilliant too
The Lake District is a great place for a relaxing long weekend.

@NoseringGirl I'm feeling really rough at the minute so just lurking but I didn't realise you are in Newcastle, before I moved I was in County Durham, about 30 minutes by car from Durham city and half an hour by train to Newcastle.

@NeverHadANickname small world! I love Durham, beautiful place. I'm always jealous of the snow County Durham seems to get. I'm just outside Newcastle on the coast and while it's my home and I adore it, we don't get enough snow!

@mussie I've never thought about a walking holiday before but I love the idea. Where do you do them/how long are they? Yes keep mentioning it, they give in eventually! DP wants to go skiing but we've never done it.

Are you more inclined to go for classes/swim/gym?

Hopefully your boss will be supportive. Are you telling them what happened? I don't know what the hospital would put on your sick note in those circumstances? It's good she goes mad though, makes sure people don't overdo it!

@Pinkroseuk you can do it! Is your next hospital appointment the next goal? We are all cheering you on and are proud that you're avoiding the cake. I second the lakes - we spent a long weekend in a lovely log cabin, hot tub, fire, that kind of thing. Was nice to get a bit of couple time sounds so naff without the distractions of being at home.

@NoseringGirl I was going to say, I'm very uneducated if you know all that! Any sign of AF? Do you do OPKs or rely on temping?

I have caved and ordered OPKs. I've assumed it's unlikely to happen first time so I'm planning for next month. I don't like this unknown thing and it's killing us DTD so often! We've done every other day since CD8. I'm CD21 now and still have 12 days to go. I think I might actually be ovulating today as I'm still getting a lot of EWCM. Argh too confusing!

@dottydally well we don't do anything hugely organised - don't like camping, so can't really do the John muir way or the Camino or anything like that. But we tend to hole up in a cottage in the countryside, and then go on a long country walk every day for a week 😁 we've done Isle of Skye and Lake District recently, and also Aviemore. Might branch out further south for the next one - maybe Wales or the south west. I usually do yoga classes, I used to do the gym more, but the cheap gym near me is so small that it was a bit claustrophobic 🙈 and yeah I've been keeping my work up to date - I didn't want to try and maintain a lie, and I didn't want my sickness record affected. I took a day off for the miscarriage in October and didn't say anything then, so I'm wary of taking any more non-pregnancy-related sick days. I need to phone them actually - just got my day 7 hCG back and it's dropped properly! Which is fab news, so glad that it's all nearly over ☺️

Thanks @NoseringGirl and @dottydally.
Ooh where in the lanes did you stay?

Yes next hospital appointment is the 7th March so trying to be really strict until then- weight in this morning I was 0.2kg up so it's not going well!

Just browsing holidays again- Newcastle looks like a must for a weekend :)

@dottydally I use an Ava bracelet which records temps, heart rate, breathing and HRV ratio. I also do OPKs. I may have a slight data addiction

Ok I have an AIBU, but I don't want to post in AIBU and get rightly flamed by the den of vipers 😂 I told my boss the good news about the hCG dropping as it should. I then said that I was probably not going to be able to cover my overnight on calls for the first few days of me coming back, as I've been really exhausted. She said that if my sick line ran out then that meant I should be completely fit for work, and I couldn't just pick and choose when to work, and we would need a meeting to discuss how exactly this pregnancy has made me unwell. This made me really upset, because it made me feel like she didn't believe that I'm not well, and didn't empathise at all with what I've been through. I've not had to explain myself to anyone so far, everyone has just understood how bad it must be to go through. It also made me feel like I'm not welcome back at work until I'm ready to hit the ground running, which is a big ask. I've now been weepy most of yesterday and today, which is a huge step backwards, I'd been fine before that conversation. At the same time, I know that of course you do need the proper documentation for these things and if she's doing things by the book (which she always does) she would need an updated sick line about a phased return. AIBU for thinking she was too harsh though? Or am I just being over sensitive about something that's not personal? As it happens, due to the step back I really don't feel ready to get back to work now. I asked the doctor to just extend the sick line to Sunday. The receptionist says they only do in blocks of a week so it'll be til next Wednesday 🙈 which I feel super bad about. But I just don't feel I can face them now 😢

@mussie I don't think you're being unreasonable to expect a little more empathy towards the situation. My workplace will usually do things by the book (big company) but they still have discretion on these things, as I imagine your boss does. In reality a good boss would be having conversations with you about how to get you back to work in a way that works for all parties - that's how it would be where I am anyway.

In reality a business with sense would see that having an employee back for some time is better than none at all, which she now has as you've been signed off for another week. Does she have children? I don't but I'm struggling to understand how someone could ask you to explain how this has affected you. I would like to think that almost anyone could understand the impact. . .

I guess you could also call the doctors and ask whether they can issue a note that says you need a phased return?

@mussie YANBU she sounds very insensitive. I can understand wanting to do things by the book and asking for a fit note with amended duties on it but she could've gone about speaking to you in a much better way. I'm sorry she's left you feeling so rubbish

Aw thanks guys that has made me feel better. I had asked the doctor last week to put the amended duties on my current sick line (ie off for a week and then no overnights for a week), but he said he couldn't write that in advance. He recommended just chatting to my boss, and if I had an issue, to just speak to him again this week, so now I have. Yeah I did think she might want it to be official, but I had hoped it would be more like 'of course, no problem, just hand me the sick line when you've got it' rather than making it an issue. She even said that if I got an amended duties sick line they would 'try to follow it as best they could within the needs of the business' which is just ridiculous. It literally says on the sick line that if your work can't amend your duties as suggested, then you can't work at all until the sick line expires. She doesn't have children, no. But as you say, I don't think that's an excuse - I don't have children, and I would never have spoken to someone like that.

The receptionist left it at 'I'll speak to the doctor about it' so I think I'll need to phone again this afternoon to see what the doctor has decided. I know they had agreed on the 'no overnights' thing, so the worst that can happen is I'll have to go back to work Friday, but really it should be either Monday or Thursday next week. I spoke to a colleague and she gets it, so I'm glad I have my team's support. Just another stress on top of everything else 😞

@mussie I echo what the others have said, YANBU. She sounds delightful 😐

Checking in for a bit of company through the TWW. I'm either 4 or 6 DPO but I wasn't using OPKs at the time so I don't know for sure. I've used a couple since they arrived and there was faint lines Wednesday and no lines today so something must have happened. Hoping to get to Monday Wednesday before testing when I'll be 9 or 11 DPO. AF due 11th March. Felt a bit crappy over the past couple of days as it dawned on me there's nothing I can do now

Awh everything okay, @dottydally? I bet you've done all you can for your first cycle, I get the feeling though!
As long as you DTD over your fertile time then you've as good a chance as any! 🤞🏻

@PastaSauceHoarder I'm ok, I just find things easier when I can do something about them! We DTD every other day for a couple of weeks so have done all we can. I'll be reporting back from Wednesday

How are you doing?

Sounds like you're well covered and you couldn't have DTD more. They recommend every other day anyway, wishing you a big bunch of luck for Wednesday!

I'm good thank you, I have my dating scan on Tuesday morning. I've had a private early scan already and all was absolutely fine, but I'm still quite nervous. Just want everything to be okay. 🤞🏻

@PastaSauceHoarder good luck for Tuesday! How was your private scan? Have you had many symptoms?

I'm expecting a BFN on Wednesday but I know I'll struggle to resist poas! Hopefully by this time next week I'll know.

The private scan went really well thank you @dottydally, I was absolutely shaking when I went in though - I was terrified they were going to say something was wrong! But baby was there and healthy, with a lovely little heartbeat. I burst into tears when it was over, I was so relieved!

I was just a bit worried because she measured the baby back a whole week, but apparently its hard to accurately date them when that small (plus the baby was curled up into a little ball). Symptom wise I've mostly got morning sickness every day, and I've already got a little bump though I suppose thats because its my second pregnancy and everythings already stretched!

I hope this week goes extra quickly for you, have you been symptom spotting at all or would you rather not pay attention? Its very hard to stay distracted during the TWW!!

@PastaSauceHoarder that's amazing! How early was your scan? It must be hard to date things when you're that early. Have you told people yet?

I can't decide. Some days I think about it obsessively and other days I'm so busy I only think about it occasionally. I keep telling myself it's too early for symptom spotting and I don't want to get my hopes up unnecessarily!

I thought I was 10+1 weeks but the sonographer put me at 9+1 instead. She didn't seem concerned though so I'm just hoping and wishing that everything turns out okay on Tuesday! So far we've told our families and a few close friends.

I know what you mean actually, sometimes symptom spotting can be more trouble than its worth! Its great that you're able to keep busy on some days though. Are you definitely holding out testing until Wednesday?

@PastaSauceHoarder really nice to have an early scan though. Fingers crossed for Tuesday but I'm sure it'll all be ok! Please update us once you've been. Were your family surprised?

I think I need to wait until Wednesday at least. I could only be 9DPO then (though I might be 11DPO) so I don't want to cause unnecessary upset. I know it's easy to say that now though. . .

I've got 8 internet cheapies and 2 FRERs in my drawer. AF due on the 11th so I can't really afford to start testing too soon

@dottydally you can wait til Wednesday! We believe in you 😁 maybe you should pretend you're waiting until Friday, and that way when you test two days early, you'll make it 😂

Had my first day back at work today after the ectopic. I have a nice quiet week of catching up ahead. Boss was really kind actually, offered to lighten the load before I even asked. Colleagues have been lovely. Just hoping I can keep pace ok! Still nervous about a rupture, but only a week or two to go, and then I can relax. My BBT is STILL high. I'll probably only have two cycles between now and 22nd May, at this rate. Which is good, it won't be easy to watch fertile weeks pass me by, so I'm glad there will only be two instead of three!

Good luck for tomorrow @PastaSauceHoarder!

@mussie Im struggling!! The temptation is too much I keep thinking 'I could do tomorrow' but deep down I know it would be a waste. Wednesday is the minimum really, Friday would be ideal! I think I need to sit on my hands the next four days. How early is too early to symptom spot? I'm sure you don't want the grizzly details of what's going on.

I'm so glad your boss was nicer to you than we thought. It is good to have such nice colleagues too! I'm sure you'll be fine but make sure you take 5 minutes for yourself if you need it. Two cycles is definitely better than three, it makes it seem more manageable!

@dottydally I know it's hard but I would try waiting until Friday if you can. I know the temptation is ridiculous, I was in your exact same position the cycle I got my BFP but I knew testing early and still not being sure because the test was ambiguous or inconclusive would drive me even more mad!! 11 or 12dpo is a good bet, I got a nice clear positive at 11dpo and any earlier you may still be in limbo land despite testing. Deffo not trying to tell you what to do, just sharing my experience of being in the same agonising position! X

@rollerskaterdata I will try to get to tomorrow, then Thursday, then Friday. One day at a time! If I could wait til Saturday I could treat myself with a FRERlike hell am I going to make it to Saturday.

I appreciate the advice. I almost feel like I need to get month 1 out of the way (if it doesn't work) and then I might find it easier as I know what I'm expecting. Either way, AF is due in about a week so this time next week I should know.

How are you?