TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 25 BFPs for all!

[strawberrye]

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Another new thread! This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

strawberrye
Age 27
TTC #1
MC#1 5-6 weeks January 2018
MC#2 5 weeks April 2018
TTC since October 2017
Cycle 5 TTC since most recent MC, cycle 11 TTC overall

@doddlebobs yes my cm has gone a bit more like ewcm. It was thick yesterday and this morning but now a bit wetter. Think maybe I need to start paying more attention to it. I'm not too sure what is normal for me pre AF. Sorry for the tmi.

@Littleray84 sorry to hear that. Hope your body gets back to normal soon
@Lilimum4 what a relief! What does high hcg levels mean? I hope they agree to scan you but if it makes you feel any better I had morning sickness with my ectopic and none with my DS. So lack of symptoms does not mean EP! Perhaps a private scan in a few weeks could ease the anxiety.
@Newbie21, @keebo, @doddlebobs and @Melpops it is totally understandable to want to be pregnant again before your due date but be kind to yourself if you're not. I've passed two of them now sadly and whilst it is very hard you are strong enough to get through it. Taking the time in the day to say a goodbye to my angels helped me through it.
@Bobzybaby what a lovely saying ❤

So many of you due this week! Fingers crossed 🤞🤞🤞

I ended up having a longer surge after saying I always have a short one so ovulated yesterday and am now in the tww!

@Boboelephant you are very right. And good luck to you starting the craziness of the TWW.

Oh dear @Pancakes7 it's a tough day for you, hopefully tomorrow will be better. I too have good and bad, mostly it's my hormones. My DH thought I was a bit bonkers earlier and asked me if I'd had a late afternoon coffee (coffee sends me a bit wired) ha!
@Bobzybaby Lovely saying! I do believe things happen for a reason, but you can't help but feel like the world is against us! Why me is something I think a lot 🤔

To everyone else coming towards the end of the TWW - you're not out until Aunty Flo shows up! This is what keeps me going, although I'm convinced I'm not in with a chance this month, which I'm at peace with as it would only be 4 weeks since my MC so I'd be bloody amazed! I'm planning to temp next month as I did this with conceiving my DC and it seemed to help?! I have to say, those who are feeling very non symptomatic, both of my pregnancies have had my mind blown, as my symptoms have been nothing more than my normal pre AF symptoms! All this 'symptom spotting' and I've had a complete surprise both times 😆

So AF is here bang on time according to my first month of temping. No birthday ovulation baby for me, no pregnant by the due date, just another ugly uncomfortable few days. @kisses4u have to say I agree with you on non symptoms- my Dd I had no clue until I tested at 5 weeks and similar with my MMC (which had been a wee surprise). Nausea and tiredness kicked in not long after I have to say.

@doddlebobs I am so sorry, it really sucks. I also share your pain. I'm 30 on Friday and always thought I'd have my children by the time I was 30. Also my first due date is this month 😢 My period is so heavy again. Was hoping for a better week this week but I started it by falling down the stairs and now my bum is black and purple so I can't sit comfortably and I've hurt my back and neck. Happy birthday to me! 🙈 Sending you lots of love and hugs xx

@Pancakes7 Welcome back and so sorry you're feeling so low too. You never know you might have done enough this month. Totally get the just want to be pregnant again feeling. It's all I think about and my head feels so busy. You're not alone no matter how hard it feels xx

@Bobzybaby Thanks for sharing the quote, it's lovely.

Boboelephant fingers crossed for you.

RedRobin7 Ouch! Hope the bruising and pain goes away quickly! Sorry AF is heavy again. xxx

I thought AF was going to start yesterday after spotting a tiny bit on Sunday, but nothing so far. So looks like I'm having another longer cycle this month. Maybe this is my new norm? I am properly considering OPKs now and will talk to OH about it when AF shows.
I've got no pregnancy symptoms at all, so not getting my hopes up. Just think I'm having a long cycle again and don't want to test like last month and then get upset. Would rather AF just turn up.

Feeling a bit like death warmed up this morning, got a sore throat and runny nose (there's a cold doing the rounds) and slept really badly, so feeling sorry for myself.

Sorry everyone is feeling crap today with af etc.

Thanks @RedRobin7 and so sorry to hear your fall has added to your woes. Sounds like a nasty one :( arnica is meant to be good for bruising - I think you can get tablets from health food store/neals Yard. Do you have plans for your birthday? You should do something special just for you. Be demanding! Early 30s were my favourite time of life so far. Hoping the start of 35 and descent in to late thirties is just having a shitty start rather than literally being down hill from here!!

@KnitKitty sad to hear you're sick too. Colds are so rubbish.maybe compounded by early preg symptoms? You're defo not out yet!

@Lilimum4 I tested again just now with an IC and got BFN, but don't want to use another FRER just yet so will wait a few days to see if AF shows up first. I have sympathy with all those waiting for AF, it's driving me crazy! I never normally have to wait this long, and I never thought I'd be wishing for my period to arrive!

Hullo all, Checking in after being away from the thread. I've missed loads but was just checking in to see how those in the 2ww were doing.

@doddlebobs Really sorry to hear af arrived, cycle twin. Same thing happened to me, AF came on Sunday after I thought the signs were good (I always think the signs are good) and really painful this time too- just to add insult to injury!

Forgive me a hippy moment, but I went to a yoga class on Sunday after af arrived and the teacher was saying that in yoga, September is the month of new beginnings. I found that helpful and I hope that works out for all of us on here, not just in terms of BFPs - though they would be great!- but I also liked the idea of renewal and healing.

Hello ladies how are you all?

I'm still poas bloody doing my own head in. Although I'm convinced the lines are getting lighter and still no sickness. Guess I'll just have wait and see.

Hi ladies, I’m back! Took a break from mumsnet and everything, feeling much better now. It’s been 4 weeks since I delivered Charlie, bleeding stopped a couple weeks ago, negative pregnancy test last week. So feeling back to normal. No idea when first af is due at all, just a waiting game! My OH and I only started having sex again last week but stupidly one of those times we got too carried away and weren’t safe but I’m not too worried, it was just once and have no idea if I’ve even ovulated yet so just waiting for af right now, whenever that may be due!

Massive congrats to everyone with bfp’s recently ❤️ @zarala @Lilimum4 so happy for you both! Hope you have healthy and happy pregnancies and to anyone else I’ve missed 💕

Sorry to anyone having a rough time atm, I totally understand although I’m feeling better. It’s sad to see some old names still here and so many new names popping up. I hope we all have healthy pregnancies in the very near future. I can’t wait to TTC again but I’m so scared as I don’t think I’ll ever relax in a pregnancy again. Charlie was doing perfectly (from his scans) until 12 weeks which terrifies me. I hope no one here has to go through another loss. It’s so unfair.

Hugs to everyone 💕

@hayleyfx Welcome back! Glad to hear that you are feeling a bit better. Sending hugs.

Some brown spotting for me today which I always get a couple of days before AF (due AF on Thursday) so I think I'm out this month. But onwards and upwards, it would have been a real surprise anyway.
@robin78 I like the sound of September already! Looking forward to adding temping to the agenda 😊
Hope you're ok @Lilimum4 It's horrible all the worry we will now feel with our pregnancies. Any pregnancy is full of worry but nothing like after MC 😔 make sure you are using same brand of test as different brands will have different sensitivities so can't be relied upon for line darkness / lightness... imo.
@hayleyfx so sorry for your loss. Beautiful name. Good that you are feeling positive and DTD! Baby dust to you and all
@mostimproved best to stick to same brand. I had bfn then bfp then bfn when I kept using different ones. The internet cheapies seemed pretty reliable and were very sensitive (same as frer) but Asda (and Tesco etc) we're giving me BFN early on. Later they became bfp tho but I was over a week late by that point

@hayleyfx gentle ((hugs)) what a lovely name you chose

@Lilimum4 fingers firmly crossed for you

Hope everyone else is ok too

I’m on day 4 of flashing smiley face CD19 not sure whether to DTD tonight or wait for proper smiley face?!

Thanks doddlebobs I am such a wuss when I have a cold. I can handle physical pain, but colds and flus, nope. Currently wrapped up on the sofa drinking cammomile tea.

robin78 I always feel I should be starting something new in September because of the habit of school starting again I think... Although I left school 14 years ago, so no idea why I still feel this way at this time of year! Must be the change of season.

Lilimum4 no sickness isn't a sign of anything going wrong. Every pregnancy is different, even if you've had early sickness before, and often it doesn't kick in until around week 8, so try not to worry. Step away from the sticks. Try to enjoy little peanut and soak up being pregnant again. Sadly, we all know there's a chance there won't be a happy ending, but there's also a stronger chance that there will, so hold on to that for now and try to enjoy the journey. Take your mind off the worries. (Easier said than done, I know, but try). We're all here for you no matter what. xxx

Nice to hear from you hayleyfx. It sounds like your body has done amazingly well to get back to normal so quickly. I hope AF doesn't take too long to show so you can start TTC a brother or sister for Charlie. xxx

Well I'm descending slowly into madness.
My last three cycles have been thus: 29 days, 28 days, 35 days and I am currently on CD32. Felt like I was going to come on at the weekend with a tiny, tiny amount of spotting. Had a pad in for two days and nothing happened. Now don't feel like I'm going to come on. Not bloated, nothing. Also don't feel the slightest bit pregnant and feel like I would recognise the symptoms this time round, so really don't want to test and get disappointed again. But I've started googling things like "no symptoms in early pregnancy"... Sigh. All rationale goes out the window when TTC, doesn't it. How I wish I could just get pregnant by accident!
Just hope AF shows up soon so I can get on with a new cycle.
Also feeling like death which isn't helping my mood.

@knitkitty sorry you have a cold that sucks. Hope you feel better soon. Think I may be getting it have had an ear ache on and off since the weekend now got sore throat and headache and just feel run down. Getting so fed up of my body at the mo at least the uti has cleared up.

@hayleyfx welcome back.

@hayleyfx ii'm glad your body is physically on the mend and you are ready to start TTC again. Baby dust to you and to all xx

@doddlebobs sorry it wasn't your month but hopefully this is your body resetting and next month is your lucky one.
@RedRobin7 sorry for the fall, that sounds very painful! I hope you manage to enjoy your birthday.
@KnitKitty thanks love. I'm trying to remain positive and not let other people's journeys affect my mood. This is a long road for me so must keep looking forward and be ready for when it happens! I do so hope it's your month. I think the sickness and spotting sounds promising but also don't want to get your hopes up because I do that to myself every month. So I will quietly cross my fingers for you. Hope you feel better soon and put the googling finger away! 🙈
@mostimproved hope the next few days pass quickly.
@Lilimum4 try and stop POAS hun and just enjoy day by day. As others have said sadly we dont know how things will end but for now you've managed to get pregnant and for today you're still pregnant and that is a wonderful thing.
@Robin78 I love that. Although we do know that I love the hippy dippy! Here's to new beginnings for us all.
@hayleyfx hello hun. I've been thinking about you. So glad to hear you're doing ok. Sending big hugs.
@DartmoorDoughnut if DH is good to go I'd get a sesh in tonight but I basically go for it for about 5 days before. If it's a case of tonight or tomorrow only, maybe wait until tomorrow. You are most fertile a few days before ovulation so extra shags can't hurt!!
@Blondcat hope you feel better soon.

Looking forward to my chart line tomorrow for 3dpo. Ahh it's the little things! 🤣

Thank you @hayleyfx and it's so nice to see you are back and you are feeling better. Really hope af shows soon and helps cleanse and restore your body...
It's wonderful to see you're still radiating positivity and happiness! Truly amazing lady !
I'm hardly on here anymore- but really nice to hear from you!

Sending everyone lots of baby dust and positivity! 💕 this whole journey can be so difficult and traumatic- but going through it together with you all really helps!

Sorry don't have time to message everyone- I have not been keeping up at all- kind of (trying to) taking a head buried in the sand approach to this pregnancy- and trying to block out any negative associations of my past experiences so I can try and move forward fresh....(it's very difficult) but that's why I've not been here so much. (Sorry if selfish- but survival tactic)

Sending hugs and to all!

Hi everyone!
MMC Due date tomorrow and AF due. Feeling a bit shite. Temp still up a bit though. Can anyone give me any insight to my chart? No worries if not. Love and best to you all

Gosh so much to read and catch up on. Sorry everyone, I'm not able to keep up. Sorry for all those feeling rubbish worth AF turning up and/or having anniversaries out due dates coming up. Sending lots of hugs!!!!!

Also sorry for those feeling under the weather! There's definitely something doing the rounds. Hope you all get better soon.

@RedRobin7 that sounds so painful! Hppe the bruising subsides quickly and you can enjoy your 30th!

@zarala it's not selfish, it's self preservation and trying to stay calm in a stressful and anxious time. Hope you're feeling well and baby is all cosy and healthy and happy in there.

I'm still so up and down emotionally 7 weeks post mc. Also am in tww now, I think I'm 2 or 3dpo. Kinda good that I'm away this weekend so hopefully that will distract me. I'm also not feeling great and think my body is trying to fight something off, woke up with swelling in the left side inside my mouth this morning but it subsided quickly after brushing my teeth, I can still feel something but it's not as bad this morning. Then this afternoon head stated feeling funny like I have a headache coming on but it never really properly came on. My skin is also flaring up with my eczema. So being miserable. I think I'm going to end up trying to symptom spot but know I shouldn't. Someone needs to slap me!

@Boboelephant sadly I was exhausted last night - my youngest wakes up every time at the moment when I put him in his cot so didn’t finish bedtime until 8:30! No naps for him today - so fingers crossed tonight will be enough, DH is on notice 😂

@InDreamland the emotions are hard enough when TTC let alone after a MC so no slapping from me

@Melpops36 ((hugs)) on the way

@zarala not selfish at all and makes total sense. You have to do everything you can do to stay a happy positive space for baby to thrive!
@Melpops I'm so sorry to say this hun but just going from your chart it doesn't look like you ovulated this month. FF can't find a shift either which is why your chart doesn't have a coverline. If the two positive opks you've recorded are correct it looks like your body geared up for it but didn't complete the process. However it is hard to be completely sure as the last 9 temps you've taken have been out of the recommended 30 min time scale. Taking temps at different times can skew the temps. Have you charted before? Do you usually have a clear temp shift? I think from what you have it's going to be hard to predict when af arrives but hopefully it's soon and then you can start a fresh cycle when your body has regulated a bit.
@InDreamland sorry you're having a tough time. Symptom spotting is the worst as it's so easy to do! Hope you have a lovely weekend away and start to feel better.
@DartmoorDoughnut don't be hard on yourself, ttc with kids is hard! There's always tonight! Did you get another flashing smiley this morning?