TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 25 BFPs for all!

[strawberrye]

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Another new thread! This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

strawberrye
Age 27
TTC #1
MC#1 5-6 weeks January 2018
MC#2 5 weeks April 2018
TTC since October 2017
Cycle 5 TTC since most recent MC, cycle 11 TTC overall

Sorry AF turned up @Tobebythesea. Hope next month is your month!

Thank you

@strawberrye
Its not hard, I followed a tutorial on you tube and then wrote the pattern down from there. Just type in 'call the midwife blanket.

Thanks everyone😊

@KnitKitty the burpyness sounds promising. I agree with ignorance is bliss. Fingers crossed for you.

@Boboelephant Hope you ovulate over weekend, we can go mental in the tww together 😂

@Melpops36 sorry for the bfn, they are the worst!

@Tobebythesea sorry for af, have a treat over the weekend. Lots of baby dust for next month.

@KnitKitty @Boboelephant Thank you! Gynaecologist was lovely and I have faith he will be able to help. He did an internal scan and said my uterus is slightly heart shaped which can cause miscarriage or preterm birth. He said not to worry too much as he doesn't think this is the reason 🤷🏻‍♀️ He can put a camera in to check how much it dips but I've read it can cause complications so I don't like the sound of that.

Lots of blood tests to have done - hormone screening and blood clotting. It's quite expensive 😬 He didn't say not to try yet just said if I get pregnant in the meantime to let him know. The tests need to be done next week when I'm on CD 2-5 and then it takes a month to get the results. So I guess we should wait until October to TTC when we have a better idea what we are up against. I hate this waiting game!

Have a feeling my period is going to be late because I've stressed about being pregnant so much my body will trick me!

@YellowDaffodils86 I hope so too! Thanks! Especially as this is both of our months- it will be good to be as close together as possible. 😉
@RedRobin7 glad the gynae was nice and hope it gives you some answers.

A question for anyone who has had all the day 3 blood tests done. Does anyone know much about the FSH and what it might mean if your results are 'normal' but on the lower end of normal?

Gosh this thread has moved on quick lately.
Congratulations for the bfps sorry for the bfns.
I’m only dpo 3 A’s I ovulated 5 days later than normal. Hopefully that will help this be a good month and I will get my bfp.

Great blankets! As above, this thread does move too fast for me
I've had the due date of my 1st MC passed this month. Like others, everyone seems to be pg - including my hairdresser (her due date is around due date of my 2nd MC) and physio... what can you do- life goes on.

On a positive note, I've found LH surge! I used OPK sticks last month for the 1st time, they were cheapie ones from amazon and didn't get anything (possible bc I was testing wrong?). This time I have CB ones (2 fertile days ones) and got a smiley this morning (CD13). I've also had pains on my lower tummy that may or may not have something to do with ovulation? Now just need to DTD

@RedRobin7 I too have a heart shaped (bicornuate) uterus. It was spotted when I had an early scan with ds and although they mentioned the risk of mc I thought nothing more of it and went on to have ds with no complications. But both the pregnancies that I’ve lost have been in one of the ‘horns’, although I was told both times that it’s fine and I know women have had healthy pregnancies with babies in the horns so fx we’ll be fine.

Cd 25 (after mc) here and pretty certain af is on her way- and I can already tell it’s going to be awful as the cramps are already killing me 😠

Same as @Russkispy I wasn’t expecting any miracles straight after mc but it still sucks. It’s like another reminder that you’re no longer pregnant. I need to try and adopt Russkisp’s PMA too!

Melpops36 I know it can feel so hard to wait to POAS, but doing it too early can be really hard too... Hugs xxx Don't give up hope because you're testing too early to get a reliable result, but just gently prepare yourself for AF if she does come. Think of a nice treat to do/have when she arrives. How long have you been trying?

Boboelephant hope you get a lot of fun JKSing in this weekend! ;) Best of luck xxx

Thanks Blondcat. Sorry about your foof problems... Our bodies certainly do odd things, don't they?

Bobzybaby sorry, not a clue what's going on? Sounds very puzzling. Could be weird ovulation symptoms. Do you use OPKs? I felt a bit sicky for a couple of days around when I think I ovulated this month. Maybe your hormones are super strong this month and making you feel nauseated and causing the spotting?

Thanks YellowDaffodils86. Does everything look back to normal so far for you this month? I have my fingers crossed for you.

RedRobin7 That sounds like it went well. Don't worry about the heart-shaped uterus too much. Slight abnormalities like that are quite common. So long as it's not virtually split in two it shouldn't cause any problems, and even if it were split in two, that can cause some problems but it doesn't make it impossible to have a baby either (I know quite a lot about weirdly shaped wombs because they thought I had a bicornuate uterus, but actually have uterus didelphys and I find it all fascinating).
Maybe a forced wait until October is what you need. It'll give you chance to heal a bit more mentally. You've been through so much, giving yourself a longer break from TTC might be a good thing. Although I totally understanding you feeling like waiting is not what you want to do, I think I'd feel the same. But I think the reassurance from the medical checks should help you when you do get pregnant again. I'm feeling really positive on your behalf about all this. I've got the good vibes flowing your way. xxx

@RedRobin7 it's great that you're getting tests and hopefully answers and any support if you need any for the next pregnancy.

@boboelephant fx you ovulate this weekend worth plenty of jks now I know what that means.

@Martydog fx for your BFP this month!

@coffeist hope this is your month too. Looks like I have a tww buddy as I got my static smiley on the CB OPK this morning too. Just need DH to get his butt up here for DTD. Glad you mentioned pains in lower tummy, I'm getting them too and wondering what it was. I've never been in tune with my body before with feeling ovulation.

@rdm10 hope AF isn't too mean if she turns up.

Thanks @KnitKitty yeah I use CB digital tests. I reckon it must just be hormones 🤷🏼‍♀️ I'll just add it to the list of crazy things my body does 🙄

Hi everyone, mind if I join you on this thread? I'm so sorry to read about everyone's losses and to see how many of us are in this unfortunate club, especially when society doesn't really acknowledge our existence. Great to see there are some BFPs coming up though. Congratulations! My info:
Age 34, DH is 38
No dc
1st mc April (medical management) at 11 wks
2nd mc Aug (surgical) at 9 wks
The second pregnancy took us completely by surprise because the first time it took 1yr of ttc.
I'm yet to have my first post-mc period so not actually ttc atm but you all seem so friendly and helpful I thought it would be good to chat everything through.
I'm so with you all on looking at pregnant people. 3 colleagues are due around the time my 1st pregnancy would have been (no actual due date thanks to hugely irregular af). I've been on hols for a bit and am dreading seeing their bulging bellies next week.
Redrobin7* it's really interesting to hear what your gynea said, I've just convinced the gp to refer me. Irritatingly, they could have referred me after mc1 because it was technically at 11weeks and potentially saved the heartache of mc2. It's an nhs referral though so who knows how long I'll have to wait. I'm hugely impatient and can't imagine not ttc whilst waiting to have tests.

P.s. I'm quite new to the forum (and a fraud as obviously not actually a mum - yet) and get a bit lost in all the acronyms. Pls bear with my ignorance!

@keebo I'm so sorry you find yourself here. You've had a very tough time by the sound of it. You are certainly in the right place for some support. I have found it very comforting at times. I hope you get your appointment confirmed and it's not too long to wait. I can understand not wanting to wait before TTC again. Every month when AF turns up there is that initial sinking feeling of "here we go again". However, I wouldn't want you to have to go through any further pain so if getting some answers first is the way to go then waiting may be best. Do whatever is right for you x.

Welcome @keebo and so sorry for your losses. I hope you get your appointment soon. You'll get used to the acronyms soon, just ask if you're not sure. A few to get you started:
2ww or tww- two week wait (time between ovulation and period
AF- aunt flo/period
BD- baby dance, DTD- do the deed or JKS- just keep shagging
POAS- pee on a stick
OPK- ovulation predictor kit
BBT- basal body thermometer
DH- dear husband, OH- other half
DS/DD- dear son, dear daughter

Also you're not a fraud. Lots of people on the TTC boards don't have any children yet. You will!

Thanks @YellowDaffodils86, @KnitKitty and @InDreamland! Got my positive opk this morning- woop woop! I have quite a short surge and as test line is darker than control I expect I'll ovulate this evening. The change from last night is crazy!! (Top one last night, bottom one this morning)

@Boboelephant woo for an amazingly positive opk! You are only 3days behind me.
Well hopefully, if i got my ov date right.
JKS! 😂
And yes this is our month!😜

@KnitKitty hopefully more normal this month, i think i had late ovulation last month and didn't realise, hence why af seemed late.
Im hoping Iv pinpointed it better this month.

@Martydog same here 3dpo!

@rdm10 Thank you for sharing your positive story, it definitely helps to hear. So sorry you went on two lose two babies though.

@KnitKitty You always have such kind words to say. Thank you xx

@keebo Welcome to this awful club but it's full of wonderful ladies who keep each other going! So sorry for your losses. You have a similar story to mine:

MMC at 12 weeks in March (Surgery at 13 weeks)
To our surprise I got pregnant first time trying again in June but natural miscarriage in July just under 7 weeks. My company have kindly added to my health insurance so that I can have tests done privately as they've seen how much of a mess I am and probably don't want me to keep having time off work! Feeling very lost right now but trying to remain hopeful. We are here for you so please feel free to lean on us xx

Great opk @Boboelephant! That was like mine this cycle - almost nothing and then boom! Dye stealer line days ahead of expected ovulation! I didn't realised that strength of line indicated how close you were. If my line the following day was still strong but less than the test line do you reckon that suggests I ovulated on the first day?

@Coffeist @YellowDaffodils86 @Boboelephant @Martydog hope the 2ww goes well you and you had some well timed bd!

@Melpops36 You're not out yet then in bfn at 8-10. Ill tell you what we all know on respect of other people's cycles but don't trust in our own... you're not our until the red lady shows!

@keebo sorry for your losses - you'll be very welcome here, I hope you find us useful
And comforting.

@KnitKitty It is a good place to work - my team like their cake!! Which makes the stress easier to bear! I'm waiting for the therapist to call me - the one I've picked does reflexology and fertility massage so hoping she can make me feel better/more relaxed whatever else happens!

@InDreamland Glad your counselling is going well. I hope feeling better mentally will help prepare your body for a baby! Can I ask if you are doing it privately or nhs? I keep thinking it's time for me to ask for some help but not sure where to start xx

Ahhhh this moves to fast!! I'm sorry I can't keep up with everyone!

@mostimproved I'm sorry you've found it tough going back to work. I'm hating it to but largely because I just don't care! I was so looking forward to more mat leave and I'm now totally unmotivated at work.

Totally understand you saying "this crushing sadness and anxiety" - it's just there all the time isn't it?

And I can't remember who but whoever described reading Facebook pregnancy stuff as like a car crash - I totally understand that! It crushes me every time I see something and yet I can't look away! I have been on to peoples pages to, to have a nose around at any updates, although it never makes me feel good. Although I have unfollowed and blocked in some cases where it is just too painful.

Good news here! My period arrived and is in full PAINFUL swing! I knew it was coming yesterday as could feel the cramps. So I'm hoping for a good clear out and am ready to get back in the saddle so to speak!

@knitkitty @doodlebobs @yellowdafodils86
Thank you for your messages and anyone else who mentioned me.
Been testing with OPK everyday as I’ve yet had a positive and was worried. Yet got a positive today?? At 9dpo Fmu?? Weird, AF due in 5 days. Be pleased to be out of this TWW. I’ve driven myself bloody mad second guessing everything.
Love to all, this group keeping me sane xx

@YellowDaffodils86 woohoo! It is definitely our month! Positive thinking will get us there. Will you test early or wait?
@doddlebobs not sure it's scientific but as it gets darker and then line fades after ovulation I assume it's soon for me. As it was so dark at 8am I figure it would have already been positive for a few hours. Mostly as well that I know I usually ovulate about 12 hours after pos opk whereas some people take the full 48 hours after. I would assume you ovulated the second day as most people usually get the pos opk the day before. I'll confirm tomorrow if it's tonight as I temp too. Good luck with your fertility massage etc. I figure it all helps and at least puts you in a good relaxed state for baby making! I would also recommend some therapy/counselling. It's important that your head is in the right place too. You can speak to your GP for a referral.
@SuperSharpShooter82 I'm glad that you're onto your new cycle and hopefully this gives you the clear out you need. Hope it's not too painful for long though!
@Melpops36 are you sure that you ovulated when you think you did? If you never got a positive opk why do you think you are 9dpo? Sorry as I know you probably don't want to be further behind than you are but MC can really mess with cycles and often make them longer for the first few months. Just don't you want you driving yourself crazy if you're actually ovulating now.

Welcome @Keebo and please don't feel like a fraud, I still don't have children, only my little angel bean I miscarried almost 7 weeks ago.

@boboelephant yay for +OPK. Hope you're enjoying your weekend ...........JKSing.

@doddlebobs I initially went through NHS Healthy Minds, then they referred me onto specialist pregnancy loss and perinatal counselling charity which is giving me 6 free sessions. If you are ready to ask for support then I suggest you start with your GP who can advise on referral to counselling. Mine was a self referral once my GP gave me the details. Google NHS Healthy Minds, you might be able to refer yourself too. Hope you can get some support soon.

Had a lovely massage today to relax. Ready for more BDing tonight after my static smiley yesterday morning. Then into the tww I guess. I have FRERs, dare I use them? I've never done FRERs before. I'm away next weekend with a friend so hoping that will take my mind off it.

Sorry I’m rubbish at keeping up but I am sending lots of “get pregnant and stay that way for 30 weeks” thoughts to everyone

I have a flashy smiley this evening on my clear blue OPK, CD 16 since first day of bleeding with my lost little one and I ov’d on CD18 then so hopefully things are on track

FUCKING fat fingers!!! Obvs I meant 40 weeks