Over 40 ttc - August baby dust for me!

[Orchid222]

Ladies, here's our 2nd summer thread :)

Sorry for the massive post. I haven't posted for a while....

Morning ladies - sorry not posted for a while but I check in on this thread all the time. WEASLE. ORCHID, CLEO AND TAXGIRL I so get where your at. Feel exactly the same and here I am now at the beginning of yet another 2ww! I keep telling
myself this is the last time and this time I really do feel maybe it should be. I am now 49 the oldest on this thread and although I don’t feel my age one bit, every now and again the reality hits and give me a bit of a jolt However, my periods are still regular and I am still ovulating and I remember people such as Liz Earle and think maybe........? God it is so hard to actually say that’s it - no more. On a positive note there is a lovely positive and uplifting article in the November issue of Woman and Home about having a first baby at age 46 - have a read if you can as I’m sure it will cheer you all up

@Rose68, @Dabo and @LittleMimosa ... thank you for your best wishes, every day is a joy and a worry tbh, but I’m trying to relax as much as I can given my history...

Dabo - here is some info on what I did, including Zita West Consult... it took me about a year, once I started to really do it all properly ..

Stopped drinking
Cut down on caffeine
Went for a fertility MOT
Went to see Zita West for some advice on conception over 40 (see below)
Took the following vits:
Ubiquinol/CQ10
Vit B complex
EPO
Good quality pre natal multi-vitamin
5mg Folic Acid
DHEA - 50mg per day
When I knew I was ovulating I used Fertility Check (sperm friendly lubricant)
TCM - did acupuncture for 6 months and Chinese Herbs for 5 months
Used Progesterone Cream up until ovulation
Tracked my cervical mucous monthly to figure out my fertile window
Tried Clomid (private prescription - didn’t work but might have kick-started things....)

In terms of the appointment with Zita West, she is a midwife who has done very well for herself ... She isn’t a Dr but she’s made a lot of money gathering experts who know their stuff.

She basically said - she believes that the main reason most over 40’s can’t get pregnant is because they simply aren’t having enough sex...

So have lots of sex... and not just in your fertile window.. As we get older we ovulate earlier and so she recommended at the least having sex from day 6 of your cycle up until day 14 is necessary .. 😝

Also read your EWCM monthly as it changes.

And that over 40 there are key vitamins you need to increase your egg quality, and build up your lining. She doesn’t recommend IVF for women in their 40’s - says its a waste of money with your own eggs.

Said try to improve what you have, and look at vitamins to help with this (she suggested her range of Folic and Inorsitol) I never took these but I was on the verge of ordering them..

I also tried to surround myself with positive affirmations and images (changed my passwords to uplifting things etc, so I had to keep typing them daily)
This is a pic of what hangs in my car..
Its actually an Xmas dec but I find it so helpful each day. .. 🙏🏻

Hi all,

Does anyone have trouble convincing DH to be up for it every month over fertile period? We have always been quite active in that area but now it seems that i really have to instigate it and the spontaneity is lacking. How do you do it month after month? I figured we are in this for the long haul so best to try and prepare myself.

My sis who is 46 and pregnant, i don't think it was ivf but not sure if she had any other assistance. She is really private about it, which is why it was such a shock for us when we found out.

I am currently on DHEA i was taking it in the 6 weeks prior to falling pregnant with DS. But symptoms can include insomnia and greasy hair if i take all 3 x 25mg doses and the last one late in the day. I am also doing wheatgrass shots.

I am not sure if either of these things have affected my cycle but i am now ovulating on CD14 instead of CD11/12 which i was before pregnancy. So i am ok with that.

Currently in my fertile week, DH and i call it the 'love week' but not sure how close to that it is atm as we are both so tired. I find this bit the most stressful, i.e. trying to get timing right amongst everything else. Wish i could relax more and just enjoy the special time we have together.

Faith- hope you're doing well! I'm not sure about Zita West's theories...ie nit enough sex-we've tried since very early in the cycle with every day during the fertile week a few times and still nothing and you do hear of lots of over 40's being successful with ivf using own eggs...
Can I ask- you can take DHEA throughout the cycle correct?

Good to hear from you orchid. Hope you are doing ok. I'm also back on the expensive TCM. Have you booked your IVF for November? Will you have to have more tests etc first? I have been considering IUI, as one of our problems is that DH has a mild 'dysfunction' so can't perform too often, meaning we sometimes miss-time things as it's hard for me to predict when ov will happen. Sometimes it's same day as +opk, sometimes 2 or 3 days later. I hope being monitored would clear up that situation. Although I don't know how it works for collecting the semen?

Sorry to hear you are struggling taxgirl, it is so hard when we have our hearts set on these things. Now the subject of Christmas has been coming up I just keep thinking I should have had a 2 week old baby on Christmas day this year

Mattsmamma I think while we are ovulating there is always a chance. Regardless of age.

Faith - thank you for the info, thats really helpful. I went to the zita west ivf clinic for an open evening recently and met her. She made some interesting points, and I did purchase some inositol & folate afterwards (cheap ebay version) so am now on that. She did also mention at the evening that most IVF will not for over 40's unless all tests came back really good, like that of a younger person. Interestingly though, a lot of people in the room were over 40.

Where did you get you DHEA and what does it do?

Hi all, Ive been missing from the thread recently but have been trying to keep up! congrats on all the BFP's and @keepingthefaith! amazing..

I just feel like utter shit today, one of those days... AF due today, was trying to book CD3 private blood tests but been ill with the cold last week as well as hubby and parents so looking after all, and everything just seems so damn complicated! overwhelmingly so!

My local private clinic say I need to book tests through a third party then they give me a token and then I schedule a consultation and then I get my tests taken, am I being silly in thinking I pay them for a hormonal profile, they take the blood tests and send me my results which I then forward on to my chosen IVF clinic (abroad)

I am not sure if its just my head thats messed up and I'm not thinking straight but can I not just pay privately for blood tests and receive my results?!!

argghhhhh!!!! sorry if I sound so damn stupid, I really feel it!

sorry should add I mean my Hormonal Profile tests!

@orchid - I agree, she’s not the absolute authority on egg quality over 40, but during the chat I had with her, she was brutally honest in respect of the fact that it pains her seeing lots of older women pin their hopes on IVF, for the odds to be low to start, and for it to fail. I also think she has a moral conscience about the industry and it’s money-making side.
I’ve a friend who is 44.5 yrs she has had 4 rounds of IVF (icsi) through ARGC and she is now going for her 5th round, they have given her a 7% chance of success using her eggs, rising to 40% if she uses donor eggs. She is going to try both - and is now going to Serum in Greece as it’s 50% cheaper ...

@cleo in respect of the DHEA - I used it every day of my cycle and bought it online from BIOVEA, I still have about a 1/3 of a tin left if you want to take it off my hands...
No idea if it did the trick, but I thought it was worth a try.. x

@cleo it’s supposed to improve egg quality so I believe.. and DHEA is something that ensures this, but depleted in women naturally with age.. x

@Snowie3 yes I find it tough to always instigate the BDing. I think my OH finds it really off-putting that It's premeditated. Maybe feels slightly used - makes a point of saying it. Difficult to be spontaneous especially when he tends to go to bed much later than I do. Means I end up running on empty waiting for him to come to bed so I can pounce...

I've read the stats about over 40s and IVF. I wonder if you had the embryos genetically tested then surely there must be a much greater chance of success if you know the embryo is chromosomally normal. But I'm pretty sure it's very expensive.

Hello, can I join? I am 39 yrs. DH and I have two children, DS 3.9 yrs and DD 18 months. We have been discussing vasectomy vs one more DC for several months and been using condoms- not very consistently- because I am sick of taking the pill. Anyway, we have decided we want to try for one more baby and then DH will have a vasectomy.

We were lucky with DS and DD. DS took 4 months and DD was first month. I am not expecting it to be as easy this time. I feel much older and more tired after the last 4 years.

So we are not doing anything different, no tracking or counting anything, just having sex and seeing what happens.

@taxgirl1. Ive heard genetically testing embryos significantly increases chances for ivf but you need to have enough embryos to test which isn't always a lot in over 40s.

Yes i also have to pounce on DH it seems. Bless him how he manages to deal with it. But he does get a bit resentful at times.

@cleo I use micronised Dhea from Macphearson labs i believe.

I take it throughout cycle but no idea if that is correct.

Hi ladies, just catching up with all the news here - sorry to hear that so many are having a tough time at the moment.
Just an update from me - just done my trigger shot for EC on Thursday morning. The stimulation has gone well - better than last time with 12 follicles this time and 5 over 20mm today which is great. Some of the others are not likely to get big enough by Thursday but it’s still a better result than last time as they look to be better sizes and took an extra day or two to get there which is better 😊
Best of all my lining has made it to a whopping 12mm which is absolutely amazing for me and almost 3mm better than last time - I think i have the acupuncture and yoga to thank for that and it makes me more hopeful as I’m sure I have a problem with implantation.

Anyway, sorry for rambling on - I hope you guys are all doing well and I’ll update after egg collection on Thursday for those who are interested.

Cleo-I'm good, thanks, busy! Found a new job that's exciting and should not give me the stress I had at my old one. It'd just be my luck though to get pregnant now and lose it haha. I don't think I need to worry much about it but it would be ironic. Anyway, no I haven't booked IVF yet, I've been researching clinics and found one that I think I want to give a try, just haven't managed to call yet! I didn't like the other clinic I went to, I got overcharged for the initial consultation and scan only to be told everything is fine and it's my age. Grrr! And everyone keeps telling me IUI won't help me...which is also annoying but frankly when I heard how much they charge for it here I decided myself it wasn't for me lol.
Faith-I see what Zita is saying about IVF but the fact is that in the early 40's I think there's still a chance of over 20% and many do manage to get pregnant with their own eggs. As for your friend, mine had 4 failed IVF rounds in her early 30's so you never know what's causing them to fail, it might not necessarily be age. Anyway, I feel I've given mother nature more than plenty of time with no result so need to try something else. Of course it might not work but I have nothing to lose at this point.

Critter-fingers crossed, let us know how you get on!

Just popping in to start a group hug

I'm in the tww but I think it'd be a miracle if we were successful this month roll on, October cycle! I've given us until Easter to get somewhere before we start thinking about next steps. I'll be 42 next June so....!

xxx

Good luck @ Critter, totally keeping everything crossed for you. Yes @Orchid, you are right, it varies from individual, the same friend had a DD in 2015 aged 41 from a successful IVF cycle (with ARGC) and I also have a friend who conceived with her own eggs through IVF aged 45.5 yrs.
My friend who is to undergo her cycle in Greece, says they do different things there, a hysteroscopy as standard and they ask for menstral blood to test for infections (apparently many women aren’t getting pregnant from things like non-symptomatic chlamydia) She is off to Serum next week to kick it all off ... I’ll keep you posted. XxxX

Good luck @Critter, I really hope this works out for you. I am definitely interested to hear how you get on. x
I am feeling really stressy, so I’m pretty much writing off this cycle even though I’m still days away from ovulation.... I wish I knew how to calm down and relax

Faith, thanks yes I'm tempted by dhea - although heard it can cause testosterone symptoms? But at the same time also heard its been called the elixar of youth...
Anyone else had any experience with it? Good or bad

Snowie I heard about the genetic testing for IVF, I think its expensive but our age it could be worth it and make all the difference for a successful cycle. Man, I wish I was a millionaire....

Critter good luck, do let us know how you get on!

Orchid - hopefully having a new job will be the perfect time for nature to throw a spanner in the works and you'll get pregnant. It's the kind of thing that nature does!! I need to find something that would be completely incompatable with pregnancy/a new baby so it plays with me too. Getting fed up with waiting for nature to help me out now, I'm the same as you orchid - 18 months trying and only one pregnancy that amounted to nothing. Time to get technical.

I’m wondering if Zita West means trying every single day from cd6 - cd14, or is every other day the idea? I’ve heard some conflicting ideas on this one. The every other day camp seem to be suggesting that sperm needs time to mature.

Chin up, @Letsdothis42. Things always seem worse when you’re physically under the weather.