TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 24 🐧🐧

[RedRobin7]

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

RedRobin7
Age: 29
TTC #1
MMC at 12 weeks in March 18
MC at 6 weeks in July 18
Waiting one cycle before getting back on the bus!

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@zarala I agree on the age thing, I’m 34 in 6 weeks. Had my first at 31. One thing I’m not worried about yet is my age....

Thanks. I know you're right on the age thing. I think I'm just worrying about everything I possibly can worry about at the moment!

@MynameisJune yes- we have too much other stuff to worry about anyway!
I'm sorry AF showed. I hope you can relax and do something nice for yourself today

@KnitKitty I agree with the other ladies, definitely go for the interview and see if you can suss them out. My friend started a new job and fell pregnant straight away but her work were lovely about it. It happens a lot. I would go where you feel you will be happy and try not to think too far ahead into the future. None of us know what's going to happen. I also have fears because I'm a freelancer, but then I just think I've got to focus on what's best for my well being and career, and if I fall pregnant then I'll deal with it!

Sorry to see our new joiners to the thread. @Hetty85 Just to reiterate @TedLife you have not left it too late, you have plenty of time. It's totally understandable to feel low after your chemical, that's so tough. But give yourself a bit of time to recover- you will feel better and things will start to feel more positive.

@MynameisJune really sorry to hear that it's coming up to a year post miscarriage. A few of us on this thread are on a bit of a journey too, so I can totally relate to that sad feeling x

Bit of a weird one, but is anyone suffering from rhinitis post miscarriage? I don't get allergies and it's definitely not a cold because it only lasts a day, but post ovulation I get the worst blocked nose/sneezing fits. It's happened a couple of cycles and is extremely annoying! Make me worry that my hormones aren't quite balanced, seems so odd.

@mrss2018 welcome and sorry for your loss. Have you taken a test? Any way it could be a new pregnancy? If not, I'd contact the doc if you're worried. It can take up to 8 weeks though I think.
@KnitKitty thanks hun. AF due/test day tomorrow. I'm swinging between being very positive and also convinced I'm out. So basically like every other month!! Aagghhh!!!! I'm dead tired, gone to bed the last 2 nights at 8pm, woken up tired after sleeping all night and my sense of smell is crazy. I'm smelling dirty clothes across the room. But my temp has also gone down and I'm having cramps so probably not my month. I would go for the interview. Sounds like there are a whole lot of ifs with your current job. I actually changed my job and then found i was pregnant with DS. You still have about 8 months even if that happens and they have to be ok with it. Anyway just going for interview can't hurt and then you can weigh your options.
@Hetty85 sorry for your loss and welcome. You're not too old but I understand the fear! We all have it. Hope it happens soon for you.

@knittykitty thank you, it’s definitely a journey. I know I’m lucky to have one DC but doesn’t stop the sadness that we can’t give her a sibling.

@MynameisJune sorry af showed up.

Hugs to all with upcoming due dates. I had both of mine in June and July and it's very hard when you're not pregnant again but this too shall pass. We will all get our rainbows

@Hetty85 , as other ladies on here said, for your age is definitely not too late! I'm currently 42, TTC#2 and had my baby girl when I was 41! Albeit with help of IUI treatment. Still! We had another IUI in May this year, sadly I suffered a missed miscarriage. So you're definitely not too late! And I'm absolutely convinced we will all have our rainbows! Sooner or later!

Hi @KnitKitty
Sorry I haven't really been on much for a while either recently. Went quiet as had a week off work visiting friends and chilling and was just trying to forget about everything really- as always easier said than done! I'm ok though thank you for asking. No change really- still have low grade symptoms I've had in my other pregnancies which is reassuring but know from the last MMC that means nothing really. Still thankfully so far so good! Only 6 weeks at the mo though so still a long wait ahead before I can find out what's really happening. Decided not to do any early scans- just a private one at 12 weeks before my nhs one- just so that if it's bad news I don't have to be walked through maternity hospital to EPAU like last time but have a bit more control with it! That's if the next 6 weeks continue to be uneventful (hopefully!).
I'm really sorry you've been having such a tough time with it all at the moment. I think there are definite peaks and troughs throughout this journey emotionally - only to be expected as this shit is hard! I hope that by taking a step back you get the space you need to heal emotionally at the moment though. And we're all here to voice out to if you are struggling at all- PM me anytime! Please don't worry or give up hope though- you will get your rainbow baby as I believe we all in the end it's just a case of when which we all frustratingly have so little control over. Work wise (congratulations on the interview btw!) I voice the others with going for the interview and seeing how you feel about the team and job. Though obviously you won't know for certain till you start working in a job you hopefully will get an idea of whether it's a nice working environment/team and how they'll be. As others said you might really click with everyone straight away. Either way there's nothing to lose by going and seeing!
Haven't had a chance to properly catch up for a while but I hope everyone else is keeping ok.
@Boboelephant good luck for testing tomorrow! Fingers crossed for you!
Welcome to the new comers @Hetty85 as others have said definitely not too late. Many women unfortunately also experience these problems even in their early twenties as well.

Hi @KnitKitty - I'm ok. Took a bit of a break to be honest. The TTC crazy took proper hold and I just felt completely overwhelmed and stressed. So tried to take a bit of a break, hence the absence. I think our fella's are cut from the same cloth-my man struggles to dtd every other day too. I'm lucky if we can manage twice a week when we're at home. Add to that the complication of weekday work stress and we've ended up being weekend bonkers...so not exactly great for maximising conception. I'm now 12dpo. AF due today/tomorrow. I'm pretty sure I'm out, been feeling distinctly periody since Friday. Crampy, tired and I also had some v light brown cm. Hoping she gets a wriggle on as it would mean this month's ovulation would hit over bank holiday...I have half a chance of making it a baby making bonk holiday if so! I'm also an October due date-booked the day off work and we're hoping to have a bird bath made as our little memorial to bean so hoping we can put it in place in the garden on the day.

In terms of the job, I'd go for the interview. Keep your options open. And it never hurts if negotiations at your current place need to happen to have the ability tomention you'd been for an interview elsewhere!

@hayleyfx you are incredible. Your strength is just astounding. Huge hugs.

@Boboelephant good luck for testing! Everything crossed.

I'm not sure who mentioned about age-but I've just turned 39, TTC#1 and had a MMC diagnosed in March. I too feel that I might've left it to late, and the thought petrifies me. But as others have said it is possible into your 40s. I'm holding onto that!

And I know someone else asked about ic opks...I use both those and CB. Tend to get a positive on IC late eve the day before the CB positive. I do another ic after lunch on that day and it's usually still positive-longest it's stayed positive on IC for me is around 18 hours-CB tends to only be positive for me on one day.

Sorry not to respond to all individually, now I'm feeling a bit less crazed I'll try to keep up better.

Sorry to all the newbies, but welcome to this lovely caring huddle xxx

Hello, So my af is due on Wednesday. I've been feeling nauseous all week. Especially today. Felt awful and had a headache. Boobs have been a bit painful too. It feels just like last time before I got my BFP. But I took a first response test on Saturday and was negative. But Idk if its just too early. I'm not due ny af till Wednesday so will take a test then if still no af. Idk if its all in my head and its just pms. I really hope it's good news but who knows. I hope you're all doing ok. Fingers crossed we all get good news soon.

Hi All

I've been lurking for a while but here goes

I'm 34, TTC after MMC in May 2018

Still feel so sad about our little bean and people were only really supportive for a month after.

Hello and welcome @glitterbug17 although I am sorry you have found yourself here but I do hope the ongoing support from all of us helps. It’s a horrible thing to happen and our feelings last rather than being back to normal after a month.

@Jessabean Thanks lovely! I'm so glad things are going well for you. Fingers crossed for an uneventful next 6 weeks.
@Laney79 thankyou! Good to hear from you, I hope your little break helped. I have everything crossed for you that af doesn't show tomorrow but if she is coming that she doesn't keep you waiting so baby bonk holiday is on! 😂
@Pancakes7 hello again. Good luck for Wed.
@glitterbug17 welcome and so sorry for your loss. I second @LilacIris, we don't just bounce back and it's normal to feel sad. We are here for you.

@Laney79 welcome back- I love the bird bath idea- really beautiful thought!
I do hope you get your bank holiday bonkathon haha- or else that you're already knocked up! Fx fx

@Pancakes7 ooh sounds promising! Fx for you!!!

Ok so it sounds like tomorrow or Wednesday we should have a few POAS results!!!!

Good luck to you all especially our girl @Boboelephant !

I'm poas Friday... just waiting waiting trying to stay cool,,, 🙄

@glitterbug17 I had a MC last October, it’s nearly a year. And I’m still so bloody sad about it, it’s grief. For the life never lived, all the things you plan in your head that never happen. It’s not just grief for the little bean but for the whole life that you started planning before you even got the 2nd line ona test. And that kind of grief doesn’t go away, it just becomes more normal and therefore feels easier to handle. Big hugs.

Hi all... so I'm 4 days late, bfn... anyone else had random anovulation out of the blue? It's the only thing that seems realistic but never happened before. Testing again tomo am. Welcome any thoughts??!
Xx

@Yukka huge hugs. It's horrid not knowing what's going on. is anovulation possible if you've had positive opks? Or could it be your cycle throwing you a curve ball and just being unusually long. Wish I could help xxx

Hello ladies
Sorry I've been awol just been trying to sort my head out. I think ttc is getting the better of me. Even though I know that AF was expected because a had a month off but for some stupid reason it still felt like a fail, probably will until my due date comes and goes. Not looking forward to it though as it is also our wedding anniversary 28th October. CD 8 today and not even a flashing 😔 I normally ovulate cd9 to cd11 so not sure if I will ovulate this cycle. To be honest I'm starting to get really fed up with ttc and feeling like I failed every time AF comes. I'm going to ask for help from the doctor if it doesn't happen again this cycle.

@laney79 thanks lovely :) I tested on opk right through the lh surge until it went back to normal to be sure we'd caught every opportunity. Plus I had ecwm. But in theory that doesn't mean I actually released an egg. Never skipped a cycle before ever ever ever so it's weird. Not tested since yesterday on a frer and was whiter than white. Going to test with fmu tomorrow.

I've had two normal af's since last mc. Maybe the hot weather caused a skip? Maybe it came later and I missed it? Maybe I'm menopausal ..... no let's not go there!

Small saving grace- I have 'non pregnant ' scans with consultant next week. At least we can check everything ok in there?!

Xx

@Lilimum4 maybe you are going to have a later ovulation like you hoped this month. Fingers crossed!
@Yukka no idea sorry. Hope today's test is positive and if not, that you get some answers at your scan next week.

Thank you again as always for all your good thoughts. Unfortunately once again it's not meant to be. Big stupid white bfn this morning. 😓

Oh @Boboelephant I'm sorry. It feels so unfair. Centre of the huddle for you 🐧🐧🐧🐧 xxx

@Boboelephant I'm so sorry, this is so shit and unfair. Try not to give up all hope until af arrives. Sending hugs

@boboelephant sorry for another bfn for you.

Bfn for me too this morning.