Over 40 ttc - summer baby dust for me!

[Orchid222]

Ladies here's our new thread!

By the way Critter, did you ever find that condom?

Karigan - so sorry. You hold out hope don’t you even though you know logically that it’s unlikely. Take care of yourself.

Ali - the early ovulation had been happening for the last couple of years. Since 40. Now it seems I ovulate either early or very late. Currently CD 19/20 and dry as a desert. This is maybe the third time in 6 months. Two of those have been since my HSG. That could be complete coincidence of course. How is ovulation for you these days? I know you are an early ovulater too....

Mimosa how late have you been ov'ing or have you had any anovulatory cycles? Are you getting anything at all on an opk?

Af has just finished for me and it was the most normal af since mid last year, which is weird as most af's can be wacky after mc but so far mine seems to have almost straightened out. I have no idea what to expect from my first real cycle after mc so quite anxious but have secret hopes that this mc may have re triggered my fertility....

So Mimosa, is HSG to check tubes are open?

Do you think early ov is on one side and late ov on the other? Or impossible to tell? Are you opk’ing at the mo, any lines?

I didn’t monitor cycle before ttc but know that they were around 24-28 days. Since ttc, on average, ov used to be cd11 (well opk+ and pains on cd11). It’s more like cd9 now. But I get the odd longer cycle where hormones feel generally much better and symptoms stronger. Think I had a chemical in April after a decent cycle (ov cd11).

I just feel like when I ov early, hormone levels are low and chances are low.

@Shinyblackdog - nope never found it! The clinic had a good look at my follicle scan and found nothing! All the bed sheets have been washed and dried - nothing. I even was checking the dog poops when picking them up for a while but ive given up hope now LOL. It’s a mystery....

So, this is a beginner's question! I'm too tight poor to buy OPKs. I'm doing it by guess work. It gets to mid way through the month and I notice a change in discharge ( sorry tmi). Is this the only ovulation symptom or could I notice something more potentially?

So sorry to hear about the tough times Karigan and Orchid.
And promising news critter :)
Welcome newbies.
I am 42.5 - thanks for putting me on the list shinyblackdog.
I am a bit of a lurker - it's been 18months and not a sniff. I don't even think I ovulated last month as temp struggled up then dropped back on CD19-21ish. I was working in france - on a yoga retreat so did a lot of yoga which was nice (including yin - someone mentioned that upthread. I rarely do slow yoga and it made me feel amazing) - and I feel quite philosophical about it all. But equally, don't feel very optimistic. I've doing acupuncture and herbs and I'll do that for another month, then I think I'll leave it. The next step after that would be IVF with donor eggs but that feels like a big decision and I'm not ready to make it yet.
Good luck everyone. On we plod! xx

Lol Critter. What a mystery!

Ali - yes HSG was to check my tubes were open. Thankfully they were. The dye went thru no problem apparently. It was the final fertility test from my GP referral. The procedure was pretty painless but my first period afterwards was difficult. It took 9 days to stop bleeding (albeit only spotting at the end) and i felt very drained and tired. I was having hot flushes in bed at night too. The next one after that was v short then the next one v light. It’s all been v up and down. I’ve given up on opks cos I seem to get the exact same line no matter when I do one. Always there but never positive. I do get positives but not this month. I know exactly what you mean about hormones not being strong enough when ovulating early. Have you tried acupuncture?

I only have one ovary so I’m guessing it’s pretty tired as it’s been doing ALL the work for the last 15 years! Perhaps it just needs a month off....

Mellon - everyone gets different symptoms but ewcm is the main one. I usually get ovulation pains too (only mild) and sometimes I get quite emotional. Other ladies report feeling incredibly horny too.

Thank you Polly.
Why are you saying the next step would be IVF with donor eggs? That would depend on your test results. I'm only a year younger than you and was told by a fertility clinic they'd go with my eggs.

Mimosa-I do swear by CB digital opk's, I couldn't do that whole lines business, I tried it one month and it didn't seem to work at all so I gave up. The digitals are of course more expensive which can be challenging but otherwise I'd never know when I ovulate. As for feeling dry, I always feel dry! So I could never go by ewcm and if I didn't have opk's I'd be lost. The first month I started on epo and greipfruit juice I did have some ewcm, more than in any other month before that but I only had it that one cycle. I also used pre-seed since I felt so dry. But...after my HyCoSy I decided to try and keep my tubes as clear as possible and I ditched pre-seed, only stayed on epo and greipfruit juice and on the 2nd cycle after HyCoSy I got my bfp. So, even though I felt dry there must've been enough ewcm in me to do the trick.

Ooh PollyIndia I'm glad yin is helping.. Came across her by chance after following another yoga lady on YouTube, her sessions popped up and I thought.. why not fertility yoga couldn't hurt..
littlemimosa I'm an early ovulater too, normally pop one in the first week after af. Can sometimes be later never follows the predicted path of my app. Although last month ov on 12 day of cycle and had my bfp swiftly followed by m/c. I can't tell you what my cycle was like before ttc.. but about 30 days as clockwork which is what I still am and luckily still loads of ewcm, more if I am quite hydrated.
mellongoose have used the Poundland ov prediction strips and found they work fab for me. Box of 5 for £1. Do you get any ov pain? I get more ratty and ov pain and a strong desire to jump the other half 🤦‍♀️🤣 as well as ewcm.. cant think of anymore symptoms..
there is a very old thread on here
"Cough syrup, epo, grapefruit and any other aid for getting pregnant"
Not sure if fact or just suggestions.. xx

Just reading an article about Stephen managan and he and his wife Louise had a surprise baby.. ( no 3) she was 46!!! Keep the hope ladies x

CHAT - thanks . Always love a story with some hope for all of us! x

No probs Polly.

Mellon I use the one step Internet cheapies (currently 50 for £8.49 on Amazon). They work well for me, helped me identify that I was actually ovulating a week later than I thought, but you do need to reduce liquid intake and therefore weeing for about three hours before you use them for maximum reliability. Also, because they're relatively cheap you can test twice a day if you're worried about missing lh surge. Received wisdom is that you can only be absolutely sure you ovulated if you see a sustained rise in basal body temp - for that you need an app, a basal thermometer and the ability to get at least three hours unbroken sleep a night, temping at exactly the same time each day when you wake. Not for everyone.

Mimosa, I find that a short cycle = a light period, so it makes sense what you’re saying. When was your HSG?

When you had your hormones tested, was it during an early ov cycle? I remember your hormone levels being great.

I used to have acu but it wasn’t sustainable financially and I conceived fine without it.

I get sweaty in bed before AF but also had this in pg so it must either mean prog is high or temp is coming down (perhaps)?

Orchid - I could go down the IVF with my own eggs route, but I know the chance of success would be way higher with donor eggs, so I felt like if I went down that route, I'd probably do that just to give myself the best chance of success. But who knows - maybe I'd have the tests and all would look good and it would make sense to use my own. I haven't really explored it yet as was giving it a go naturally for a bit.

That is good news chat!

Alibaba, I have always had pre menstrual night sweats!

Thanks for the OPK intel, ladies. I will take a look. Finished af today so have broken it to DH that we are going to dtd every other day for the next 3 weeks! He's devastated as you can imagine!

I'm joking, of course, because some days we are like ships that pass in the night, but where's the harm!

No ovulation pain that I particularly notice, @Chatbash72 but I do get ewcm. Does that indicate I'm ovulating? Periods are pretty regular at 29 or 30 days, but I have had a couple of late ones in the last few months.

mellongoose normally I can rely on cm, although this month I though I had ov a few days ago, but have a lot of it over last few days ewcm... we did dtd twice yesterday ( 🤦‍♀️ Father's Day had obviously made him frisky) so that could explain the extra cm..
Alibaba2 it's do flipping muggy at the moment... but had a few flushes just before af... but took as a good temp sign

I use cheapo's in the afternoon and clearblue fertility monitor in the morning. The rigmarole starts tomorrow at cd8, have been ov'ing on average cd14 but not sure what will happen post mc.
We also have limited opportunities to dtd as dh has low hormones so can only perform a few times eod before he runs out of steam. (Much to his distress) he's been tested for testosterone this week and if its low hopefully they can do something about it. Blooming age. Anyome would think we were in our 80's not 40's. I think him upstairs needs to get with the times. Modern day living does not fit with his plans anymore

Just catching up again..
Karigan..So sorry it turned out to be AF. I've suffered the same ..completely convinced it was bfp and sadly turned out to be a very slow starting AF. But from what you were saying it sounded just like what i had with DS. I was over by about 10-12 days and it was a v light bleed each time. Then discovered it was a bfp when i was 12 weeks gone! !
I just can't understand how our cycles can be so different and how it puts us through this sh*t every month!! Take care xx

Mellon.. I only ever use the mucus method. Tried temping and opks but not willing to spend much money on it so mucus it is! The only problem is i get so much of the damned stuff i just can't pinpoint actual ovulation. Tried tests and they didn't work but they were cheapies off Amazon. Good luck xx

Thank you Boosey. It was a non viable pregnancy for certain as the scan showed the embryonic sac at 4 weeks 5 days. They weren’t sure as it was too early for a fetal pole to be seen anyway not said it would probably not be viable as there was low hcg. Made it to 6 weeks 3 days before the bleeding started.

Ali - HSG was about 3 months ago.
I’ve always had the hot in bed feeling pre-AF but this has been different. It’s after AF finishes. It’s eased off mostly now (CD20) so I’m assuming my oestrogen is rising slowly.
My bloods were all good BUT they were taken a year ago now and they were 21 day tests for everything. So although my FSH was only 6 it was never repeated on CD2-3. It was a normal ovulation cycle I think (ie day 10-12 at least). My progesterone was 50 so v good but I distinctly remember strong ovulation that month. I just don’t seem to get that anymore:-( I think my ovary is just tired out/running out of eggs. I don’t get sore boobs post-ov anymore (despite having had positives on opks most month) either. I think the bottom line is that my cycles just aren’t what they were and I think I’m in denial.

Booseys - so sorry AF arrived.

Karigan and Orchid - hope you’re both ok.

So I've started a new symptom spotting and not in a good way! I'm now convinced menopause is starting!
My period lasts 5 days, always. This week I'm having random brown spotting still and I'm on day 8, NEVER happens. Plus I'm feeling a bit out of sorts and I can't put my finger on it, bit achy, bit warm, but I have a normal temp.... don't know what's happening! I get the results from my blood test on 2nd July so I'm now dreading it

Mimosa - the cycle changes are recent though right?

I do get 1-3 bad cycles and then a good one, or more. I had a really short cycle in March followed by a great one (with strong pg symptoms) followed by another ok cycle.

Even if you are having a poor cycle, it’s not permanent.

This cycle now is pretty poor although I did have ok prog symptoms around 7dpo. So wish I’d frozen some eggs when I was younger!

A friend of a friend was trying from late 30s, had one mc otherwise nothing. Then fell pg age 43. Loads of stories like this around. We do have some decent eggs left, just not as many as 10 years ago.

I agree with Ali, we get good cycles and bad cycles, but just because you get a bad cycle does not mean there are not good ones left to come. But yeah, it's totally stressful.

Mimosa are you going to get tests done again? Might be worth it, it might put your mind at rest if all still ok. Or it may give you reason to take action if not.

Weasle - what is your blood test for? I wouldn't worry about the spotting, I've had that for about a year and still got a bfp with it. Even if things are slowing down or changing, we are still throwing kut eggs. Perimenopause can start now but it can also last up to 10 years, so not necessarily the end

I wish I had frozen eggs too Ali! But we don't think of these when we aee younger. As the song goes "if I could turn back time...."