TTC after pregnancy loss - Love is the Drug - and lots of vitamins - thread 14

[TheGrumpySquirrel]

Shiny new thread. Hugs and supportive chat for those TTC after miscarriage or pregnancy loss ♥️

[Fillybee]

@stowie sorry your GP said that, what a silly thing to say to someone when all they want is a baby...

[weasledee]

Me too, we had a great 8 week scan and then the scan from hell at 12 weeks..... and there’s a poor lady from my original due date group had a terrible 20 week scan :(

[Fillybee]

Good luck everyone in the 2WW! When do you plan on testing? (Are you more disciplined than me, I always go from about day 7 🙈)

[Juancornetto]

Both times I've been pregnant I did the test till I was late. With DD I was 5 days late and then my MC pregnancy 3 days late. Hoping I can be as disciplined this month...

[rachelandthenoodle]

Hi ladies; mind if I join you again? 7 dpo today on month 7 since D&C. Feeling much more positive this month- thrown lots at it: acupuncture, temping, ovulation strops, lots of sex, fertility lube 😂, pretty much whatever we had... so hoping for a miracle.
Trying vvv hard not to poas for a few more days...🙈

[Lotty515]

So sorry for your drs comments stowie - really insensitive I hope you can find another local Dr.

Good luck to everyone with the tww - I hope to be reading about lots of teetotal Crimbo party plans.

[Flatwhite31]

It's my birthday today. 32. Have never been more disinterested in a birthday. I feel so guilty for feeling so down, as I have so much to be grateful for, yet I can't shake this all consuming sadness. We have even postponed our weekend away as I'm too tired to go this weekend.

[KerryLeanne84]

Happy birthday flat ❤️ I know birthdays don't feel worthy of celebration right now but I hope you have a nice weekend even if it just by relaxing

I'm in the tww - 9dpo now and fairly convinced period will show up on Sunday. I had one bit of rusty coloured spotting on 7dpo so of course my trickster brain was like 'implantation bleeding!'
Shut up brain

[coastalchick]

happy birthday flat. I felt same this year but I turned 39!!!!

I know it's hard but do try to enjoy the day. At the moment, we can't control whether we get pregnant or not but we can (try to) control our reactions to life and we all do have to get on with living our lives whilst we wait for our rainbow babies. Easier said than done I know. And not trying to minimise how you are feeling, just trying to help (probably not very well!)

[coastalchick]

sorry flat, just read your post and my post back - ignore me. It is hard when you cannot shake sadness even when you want to. Just be kind to yourself today and try to have some down time over half term x

[TheGrumpySquirrel]

@KerryLeanne84 it could well be, if that’s not normal for you. I’d get excited by that but I am a perennial hopeful twat!

@Flatwhite31 sorry you are feeling so down on your birthday. I hope you can have a nice relaxing weekend at least. I do sympathise. I was pregnant on my 31st birthday (in April) and now I won’t have had a baby by my 32nd. Obviously hoping to be pregnant again but who knows. And to think I delayed starting TTC till 2 months post wedding! Just got to keep swimming x

[Flatwhite31]

I'm just going to sleep all weekend. I think one of the reasons I'm struggling is that I'm so so desperately unhappy at work. I had 11 days off between ERPC and work, which were the rest of the school hols, so I wasn't signed off at all.
I've tried to help myself move forward from my MMC, but I've missed 3 talking therapy phone appointments due to work, I had to cancel reflexology as it clashed due to parents evening, and I've had to give up my one hobby - choir - because I'm just too exhausted in the evenings. I do think that because I literally have no time to do anything else, I can't focus on 'me' and move forward. It's a difficult situation. I know it is half term next week, but I'm so tired I don't want to do anything as I need to recover my energy levels. I'm not anarmic either btw, as I had some bloods done after the MMC which were all fine. It's the job that's draining me. I can't find a new one, as I wouldn't get mat pay. I just don't know what to do.

[Juancornetto]

I hope you manage to enjoy some part of your day flat. Statistically your most likely outcome - by a long way - is that you'll end up with a happy, healthy baby. But tiredness makes everything a million times worse. If you can, try and get some good deep relaxing done over the half term x

[Haybay1]

Happy Birthday Flat - Hope you have as good a day as possible. Spend the weekend and half term week getting lots of rest and sleep - That in itself might make you feel a bit better.

You never know KerryLeanne keep thinking positive... got everything crossed for you.

I am in my FW going by the length of my cycles pre mc so fingers crossed its back to a normal cycle... if so then I will be ovulating poss today/ yesterday / tomorrow lol (not 100% sure).. but anyway we have been dtd everyday... even at 6am this morning before I went to work . I have had some pelvic pains etc so I think I could be on track? I don't use any OPKs or anything yet... if we don't conceive in the next few months i will probably have a look into these more.

Hope everyone has a nice Friday I finish at 1pm woop woop

[Daffodil77]

@Flat Happy birthday!!! I hope you've got cake to get you through the last day before half term! I hope next week you're able to get the space and energy to start processing what has happened. Hopefully this will hope you cope better after half term. I'd really recommend trying to carve out that time for counseling if you can. I'm finding it really helpful. It also means I'm not constantly talking to DH about it which means we can spend our time focusing on other, less sad things. I find this helps me not to dwell on things. (I hope that's come out right as I'm not the best at phrasing things).

[KerryLeanne84]

Good advice daffodil 😊

Grumpy - I've NEVER spotted before my period before. But I have no doubt it's just my body / post mc hormones finding a new way to mess with me 🌈

[Fillybee]

Fingers crossed @Kerry!!

[Fillybee]

Happy birthday @Flat fair enough not wanting to celebrate but I hope you manage to enjoy a the bit of the weekend and of half term.

Would you not get mat pay if you changed jobs but stayed within your local authority? Or were you thinking about a completely different job?

It sounds like you could really do with the talking therapy, hopefully you'll be able to get a slot in half term when work can't interrupt? xx

[coastalchick]

I hate that feeling of being trapped in a job for whatever reason. Second what filly said, might be worth investigating if you'd get it if employed by same LA. I know its "only" money, but when I was staring down the barrel of no maternity pay as I hadn't been in job long enough (and I live offshore so different rules here) it scared the crap out of me as wanted to be able to enjoy being on maternity, rather than worrying about watching every penny.

Irony is, of course, I would now qualify, but sadly have no baby!

[Flatwhite31]

I've tried @Daffodil77 but it has only been offered during working hours, so I had to turn it down unfortunately.

[Daffodil77]

@Flat that's a shame. I got mine through our employee assistance programme. Is yours through work too or is that another avenue to explore? Could you call the miscarriage association during half term if you weren't able to get the talking therapy one?

[GreyCloudsToday]

Happy birthday Flatwhite Virtual for everyone, plus and

I hope you can have a small treat today, a takeaway or something nice. These crappy, tired times will pass.

[BlueeSpottyTiger]

Happy Birthday Flat xx
Kerry Goodluck! :)

I'm cd 10.. 1nd day of fertile week i was going to dtd every other day but now think I'll go for everyday as i don't want to feel like i could have done more. Dp is 26 and very fit (as in healthy 😂 and fit aswell lmao) so should have good healthy sperm that doesn't take over 24 to regenerate or whatever I've read .. if that's even real lol
I've only had 1 coffee this entire month and I've switched to decaf tea (btw pg tips decaf tastes exactly like normal tea..woo).
No alcohol.. eating fertility enriching foods.. concieve plus.. temping and opks.
My temp is bloody weird.. it's getting cooler and cooler... i don't seem to have a base temp 🤔

[BlueeSpottyTiger]

2nd* day of fertility week as when i update my ov which is usually day 13 then it bumps it forward.

My weird chart.... hmmm!

[Flatwhite31]

I work for a state primary school @Daffodil77 where we pay for tea and milk, so there's no way I'm getting counselling sadly! Lol.