TTC after pregnancy loss - Love is the Drug - and lots of vitamins - thread 14

[TheGrumpySquirrel]

Shiny new thread. Hugs and supportive chat for those TTC after miscarriage or pregnancy loss ♥️

@voxnihili I don’t know what to say, that’s so unkind! Is this all being done through the mums? Is it worth speaking to your friend about it? I can’t believe the lack of compassion, I really feel for you. Xx

@TheGrumpySquirrel, you're right, people totally don't understand unless they've been through it. Fortunately I have a cousin who miscarried last year (well, not really if you know what I mean) so she understands what it's like, even though she can't completely get my situation as she already had two kids and got pregnant straight after the mc, whereas I've been ttc for nearly two years and no kids. But she's been a great support.

@Eclecticmama, thanks, I'm still undecided. Maybe if she says anything I'll talk to her, but if she doesn't comment I'll keep shtum. It's just nice she's there to hang out with I suppose. I'm sorry you couldn't tell your mum about your mc, hopefully you've had great support elsewhere x

Oh my god @voxnihili that is so unkind, and completely lacking in any empathy or passion. How utterly thoughtless.

Can you speak to someone about this? In my darkest moments I booked an appointment with my GP, and she was amazing. Just having someone listen can be so helpful, and they can suggest ways of coping with people who are insensitive.

That should say compassion, not passion!

So I found out today I can’t et my procedure for 3 months. Looking into private options.

Vox, horrified to read your post!! You can’t go to the party! Like u say, will be a complete “elephant in the room” night out!!! If she’s a good friend she”ll understand x

@voxnihili I don't even know where to start. You're far from being selfish. The mum needs to back 100% away because she clearly isn't getting the picture and doesn't seem to care. I'm pretty sure that's way more selfish. Maybe see what your friend wants to do (solely through her) and maybe she'll be more understanding.

Some people just truly baffle me

Flashing face on clearblue ovulation stick this morning! Woohoo! Dtd last night, good job really. I wasn't expecting a flashing until cd16! The b6 must be helping. Just got to wait for that lovely static face :-) x

Hope everyone is doing ok today.

vox I'm sorry your friend doesn't seem to understand or respect what you need. My friends keep planning things which i know they intend to help me forget it. But I don't want / can't forget it. I think you're all right, noone else understands unless they've been through it. And it absolutely should be up to you if you go or not.

sooz I'm sorry your mum wasn't very supportive, maybe it would help you if she knew how long you tried and how precious that baby was? I'm not sure. I have a close relationship with my mum and she had a late mc with her first pregnancy but was surprisingly unhelpful during mine. She gave me the old 'at least you know you can get pregnant' and said no more to me but told everyone in my family it had happened.

I'm very much struggling with the fact that i work with babies today. sat in the back of the ambulance (i work in) crying hoping the driver doesn't notice.

I'm sorry to hear that, @Katsanddogs, it hits us all at random moments. I work at a primary school so surrounded by other people's kids all day and pregnant mums are just par for the course. Some days I the last two years I could cope fine, other days it was the worst. Look after yourself.

Best wishes for a bfp this month lookingatthestars

It can be very hard sooz sorry to hear you have to go through this too, and for such a long time. I work in a maternity hospital so am around pregnancy all the time and usually deal with it well. I'm dealing with a lot of social care cases today and can't help but feel angry at the amount of women that have healthy pregnancys dispite using every drug under the sun, etc!
Thank you for your message. Really hope you get another bfp soon.

Hi all, been keeping quiet just to try and stop me obsessing too much. I am 7dpo and can feel the poas urge beginning... I have a pub lunch on sunday which will be the day before i'm due i think, and also 12dpo. I normally have a 13 LP like absolute clockwork, so i'll test then, and if it's neg i'll know for sure i'm out and can at least enjoy a drink or two in the pub with mates. This weekend is also my second due date, from the heartbreaking MMC....its crap how they always fall on the same days don't they? Testing/AF and important dates of previous pregnancies always fall together...

Anyway, I'm so sorry to all those of you that are new and have joined here, sorry for all you've been through, this group is just the best for support.

vox i am shocked, these people have clearly never experienced miscarriage or infertility in any way. I'm so sorry you are made to feel this way.

Hi nocats sorry to hear you've got sad dates coming up, that must be really difficult. I am also 7dpo (i think). Good luck to you x

Ladies on the FB group, how does the request show up?

@NoCatsHere I have everything crossed for you. Xxx

@SoozC I also work full time at a primary school (teacher). I teach Y5 so it's a bit easier because they are older.

I a teacher too but in year 2. I find it's my colleagues who are pregnant or have recently given birth upset me more. Probably because I'm jealous.
Just wondered at what dpo do people normally start testing I'm only just 6 dpo and am finding it really hard to wait but also don't want to test to early and be disappointed unnecessarily.

@Flatwhite32, I'm moving to year 5 after Christmas! For various reasons but I'm looking forward to it, not taught year 5 before!

@Martydog, I feel the same, luckily few teachers at my school who are likely to get preggers. I've just found it so hard to handle in the past, exhausting trying to keep a happy front on.

Had a tough few days since seeing my pregnant friends on Sunday. Bad anxiety which I think is probably repressed grief? Who knows. Had acupuncture this morning and feeling slightly calmer but not in the mood for work at all. At least it’s almost Friday.. ish. DH doing his sample tomorrow for testing. Fx he manages to do it!

@TheGrumpySquirrel. I hope all goes well with your DH. I'm having a load of bloods done tomorrow and I'm already dreading the results! x

Thanks flat.

grumpy hope it goes ok for your DH tomorrow.

marty I would normally start testing about 10dpo but there’s nothing to stop you peeing on ic’s if you have them. I used to test as soon as I felt like it but now it’s been going on so long I try and wait for when I’m late or in this case I’ll test Sunday at 12dpo just because I’m off to the pub with friends and will want to know. The disappointed of a blank test is worst for me that being caught out by af. Good luck!

It’s very quiet in here now, are you all chatting on the fun group lots? Do I need to join?!!

Also I have no symptoms, please everyone with no symptoms tell me you got all the bfps!!! I’m driving myself mad!!

Urgh autocorrect! FB group not fun group!!!

@NoCatsHere Come join us on the fun group! 😬

Nocats I had zero symptoms my BFP month back in March. When I feel the crazy get symptoms I know af is coming!