TTC after pregnancy loss - Love is the Drug - and lots of vitamins - thread 14

[TheGrumpySquirrel]

Shiny new thread. Hugs and supportive chat for those TTC after miscarriage or pregnancy loss ♥️

Fine thanks. Just glad it’s all getting checked out rather than just wondering all the time if something is wrong.

Do you have an early scan booked flat ?

Kat & sooz i am so so sorry to hear about what you are both going through :( sending hugs.
grumpy your gp sounds informative, I'm glad they are checking things for you :)

I have my early scan booked fot 10+2 but feel like i need one about 7/8weeks too. Everytime i wee i check for blood or even just randomly check my knickers. As time goes on i feel more and more anxious and I'm only 5+3. I don't think I'm coping with the anxiety as I'm getting really worked up all the time. I went to work yesterday, sat at my desk after being up since 2am feeling sick and worried and got all emotional and went home. Then i was sick in public at the edge of a tesco carpark waiting for a taxi as i was too dizzy to drive.

@TheGrumpySquirrel glad you are ok. I don't have an early scan booked yet, but I'm going to. I am so terrified! I keep crying today because I miss the little bean I lost, and I'm also so worried I'm going to lose this one. I think the tears are partly hormones and feeling poorly (I'm on antibiotics for an infection), but I'm just so nervous.

Like you @BlueeSpottyTiger, I'm constantly on knicker check, although I had a MMC last time with no bleeding whatsoever! Not even a drop. My latest worry is that I have an empty sac pregnancy. No idea why, but I can't stop getting anxious about it. When I had my MMC the doctor at the hospital said they'd scan me in my next pregnancy at 6 weeks to check for a heartbeat, but my GP said this isn't necessary . I may have to just book 2 private ones.

I am not enjoying the norethisterone. Making me feel very weeping. Also hating the enforced ban on Ttc. Frankly I’m just so fed up of it all - I don’t think we are every going to get genre. And even if we do the age gap is going to be absolutely huge - dd is 6 in July.

Big, squishy hugs @beanhunter. Is that an expected side effect? Xx

@Flatwhite32 can you get in touch with the doctor or ward? Maybe there's a way around the gp. It'd be unfair to get told two different things.

Constantly on knicker watch too. Still very light bleeding but meh. DH has said that it's so far so good from our previous scans but it means very little to me tbh. I had no signs of a mc for over a month, so having very little signs anything bad is happening has very little comfort to me :/ Need to stop being so sceptical

Thank you for the welcoming guys. Reading through the previous messages has already made me feel better and less alone.
I'm sorry for all of your losses. In awe of all of you staying strong and hopeful after so many months of heartache. Feel like I'm losing my marbles already!

@Missmagpie I am just heartbroken for you - nothing else to say except to echo prior comments. I hope you have lots of support and we are all here for those moments you feel alone.

@Katsanddogs and @SoozC so sorry you are here with us - I wish you weren't in the nicest way. I have found this group to be amazingly supportive and I hope you both do x

Thanks for all your welcomes.

@MissMagpie, I'm so sorry to hear of your losses

@UnicornsandRainbows1 I'm actually seeing my GP again tomorrow to follow up this infection I have, so I will ask again re scan, and say that having the infection has made me more anxious (which is true). If she still says no, I'll ring the ward when I reach 6 weeks. I know the feeling re no reassurance. It's so hard not to be sceptical. I had zero signs of miscarriage when I had my MMC. No bleeding, pain, loss of symptoms. Nada. I can't stop thinking about things going wrong, and I keep saying to DH 'IF this pregnancy works out...'.

@MissMagpie I have been thinking of you. How are you doing? Xx

Hello ladies, please can I join?

I have a DD who is 20months, and I had a mc in July at 7weeks. I had naively thought that ttc would be reasonably easy afterwards as I'd been very lucky and fallen pregnant early on when ttc. Unfortunately my periods have been all over the show. I've also been symptom spotting (I know...I can't help it) and heartbroken when after starts.

I am really fortunate with my DD, but I just can't shake the empty void since mc, and want to fill it with a new baby.

I'm really sorry to hear of other people's stories on here. It seems to be a really supportive place

@Flatwhite Hopefully you can put that across and the infection clears. Nothing worse than being further on a knife edge. I say 'if' as well, and I really hope others follow suit but I doubt it. Nothing like being an anxious killjoy!

@Eclecticmama I'm sorry you find yourself here. I totally get the void filling bit. I think as you've experienced it before you want nothing more than to have a chance again and to have that feeling that today you have a baby. It's torture when your body isn't playing ball too as it's just this stupid reminder until it sorts itself out. I hope things even out for you

@missmagpie I’m so sorry this is happening to you, it’s so unfair... Just to let you know as you mentioned you are heading to the recurrent miscarriage clinic soon. I’m now on my 4th pregnancy after 3 mcs. Luckily my first recurrent mc clinic appointment was at 4 weeks 1 day in this pregnancy. So they couldn’t do all the tests they would have done otherwise, but did give me progesterone pessaries and heparin injections. BUT it was only because I’d asked about progesterone medication, and the Dr said he only gives it to people that ask for it. Which seems weird but I just wanted to let you know incase it’s the same in your area. I have got further in this pregnancy than any other the others, and obviously I don’t know if it’s down to the medication but worth a try xx

@electic sorry to hear your story, hope you get your bfp soon xx

Our best friend couple just told us they are pregnant and due the day before us! It’s amazing but I feel the pressure is really on now not to miscarry this one 😬 xx

Went to a social event today where I saw 3 of our friends were very obviously pregnant (only 1 I knew about in advance). I cried. I’m not proud. What a fucking shit day. I should have been 37 weeks today.

Sorry to hear that, @TheGrumpySquirrel. Big hugs.

Just wondering; those of you who've taken a while to conceive, did you tell anyone you were having issues? It's just, we got married in August and got our first BFP in October. Prior to that we'd been trying for nearly two years but I never told my parents. So I feel like they don't have all the facts and maybe thought it only took us a couple of months. So they might think it'll happen again really soon. I'm just not sure if telling them will change their view on my miscarriage or not. I'm not overly close to my mum and I feel a bit hurt that she didn't initiate contact between me starting to bleed and me having the second scan (a week later) that confirmed miscarriage. She never even texted to ask how I was getting on. But maybe she just doesn't understand the heartbreak because she didn't know we'd been trying for so long? If that makes sense? Should I tell her everything?

Thanks for all the well wishes. I am doing ok. I have almost stopped bleeding already and just determined to get back on track.
Your thoughts and love have really helped.

Well remembered @Fillybee. My appointment at the rmc is this Wednesday. So glad it wasn't cancelled when I told them I was pregnant last week. I will ask about progesterone and heparin. I have a list of questions and just hope I feel better for finally getting something done - even if we never get any definitive answers, which I know is very likely.

If there is anything that anyone thinks I should ask from experience or curiosity, please say so and I will add it to my list!

New to this so sharing my story . I fell pregnant this August on month 3 of ttc , had a miscarage a week later at 5.5 weeks and have been trying ever since with no luck starting to get disheartend , I have two children from a previous relationship but my partner has none but has had miscarages with a previous partner , feel like giving up

@TheGrumpySquirrel . Were your friends understanding? Xx

@Eclecticmama so sorry you are joining us. TTC after MC is so much harder, as anxiety underpins everything. You'll find lots of support here from lots of lovely ladies. Xx

Just a reminder ladies that there is a secret Facebook group for this thread. Nobody will know you're in it, and with the exception of the ladies in the group, nobody else will see your messages. If you would like to join, PM me the email address you use for FB. There is absolutely no obligation whatsoever to join though. Xxx

No one mentioned it except 1 person (also pregnant) came over to say she had lost one too and she hoped I was okay. That was really nice. I just don’t think people get it unless they’ve been through it.

Very true @TheGrumpySquirrel. People just don't understand unless they've been through it themselves.

@Mum1992 so sorry for your loss. AF is even more disheartening following a MC, as it reminds us of what we have lost. You'll find some great support here. Xxx

Hope everyone is ok.

I'm feeling like I'm on the verge of a meltdown. My best friend's mum wants me to help organise her baby shower (due day after I was). I couldn't face it so my mum was all understanding and had a word with her. The message I got back was that I was a selfish friend.

They've now come up with a plan that it'll be a Christmas gathering so will be easier for me. No it won't. Everyone will feel awkward and it will be like the elephant in the room. I told my mum this, she's very annoyed and is just pressuring me into it. Why does no one care about how I feel?

Thanks for the welcome ladies ☺

SoozC I'm also not that close to my mum and didn't tell her about my mc (she has this knack of making everything about her). If you think your mum'll be more supportive and understanding then tell her about your ttc journey. You might find she is less blase about you getting pregnant again quickly.

Oh, @Voxnihili, I'm literally gobsmacked at that comment. A selfish friend? Have they absolutely no compassion for women who've miscarried? It's called self-preservation and you are entitled to go or not as YOU choose because YOU come first in YOUR life. I really wish I could come and shout at someone for you. Massive hugs to you.