TTC after pregnancy loss - lucky thread 13

[TheGrumpySquirrel]

Hi guys I couldn't see a new thread so hope you don't mind me starting it off @BertieBotts ?

So much love to every single one of ours ❤❤ I'd like to think that they are all interlinked like we are ^^

Just popped back to say I am thinking of you all tonight. My Facebook is full of candles burning and I've had tears in my eyes almost all day today thinking of the twins I lost and all the other babies that didn't make it. Thinking of all our angel babies tonight. Xx

Sending lots of love to you and all your babies xxx

I’m burning my little candles.

Hugs to us all, here’s to all our little lights that were taken too soon. ❤️

Burnt my candle this evening and shed a tear for all our losses. Sending hugs to you all.

Love to all and all our lost little angels x

I have burnt three candles tonight too, one for each of the babies I have lost this year. This week has been so hard for me, as I seem to have been constantly faced with stories about baby loss and pregnancy loss and though important, it has brought it all back. I just so want my rainbow baby. Losing three babies in three cycles is just too much sometimes.

Grumpy that looks like a TTTLP, really hoping that it stays.

I've burned my three candles tonight too. Love to all you ladies.

Hugs missmagpie, that really is too much 😔

I'm out. AF arrived 2 days early this morning. Typically we will be at my parents when I'm next fertile, so it looks like next month is out the window too. Apart from the bleeding, I have no AF symptoms. No sore boobs, no cramps, no hormonal anything. That's not right. Guess it's another phone call to the GP. This is the worst I've felt since it all happened. I so hoped this was going to be our month, as we DTD at exactly the right time.

Oh flat, I'm so so sorry. Know how much you wanted this this month. There are no words. Just know we all understand x

Thank you so much @coastalchick. It's not surprising really. I'm so full of stress, anxiety and to a certain extent, depression, which can affect conception. There's definitely something not right with my hormones either. Not exactly a prime baby making environment. It's such a vicious cycle. I need to de-stress to get pregnant, but I'm so upset about not being pregnant I can't de-stress. It's so difficult. Feel like I don't know what to do.

Flat, I'm so sorry. I hope that your fertile days are different to what you expect this month. Hopefully the doctor will be able to help. I've never really had any symptoms even when I was pregnant. Everyone's different though and if you had them before I can understand your concern.

My husband failed his last accountancy exam by 2 marks last night (3rd attempt). He sat it 2 weeks after MC and 1 day before my sister passed. I really thought that we'd had our share of bad luck and that it was someone else's turn. Clearly these things do come in threes, but now I have no faith in the universe that that's it.

Yes, it's definitely a vicious circle flat - maybe meditation? I think it's hard. We are told not to stress, yet we can't help it, then we stress about stressing. I hope GP has some answers/help re the hormones and also the relaxation. I don't think any of us realised this world was so tough until we found ourselves in it.

Sorry about your husband's exam result daffodil. Life really does suck at times

@flatwhite31 I'm so sorry you're out this month And about probably not being able to try next month - hate how TTC impacts everything! My parents came up to visit last month and after checking Ovia I had to ask them to postpone their trip by a couple of days so they wouldn't be here during fertile time Luckily they're not the types to question anything so I didn't have to explain why but I hate how every time AF arrives I'm checking my next fertile dates and interrogating DH on where he's going to be on what dates.

Please try not to worry about the stressing. You can get pregnant if you're stressed, the whole 'just relax' advice winds me up no end I've got pregnant twice in my life (once with a successful outcome) So 2 BFP's in at least 30 months of ttc'ing and a lot of those 28 BFN months I was extremely relaxed about the whole thing. Those 2 BFP months I really wasn't! Massively stressed and obsessing over doing everything right to get a BFP...and I did. Obviously being relaxed is ideal but if you're worried about the impact of stress it's going to turn into a vicious circle and just make you feel worse.

Hugs, keep venting, we're all here to listen x

So sorry about your husband's exam result daffodil Not what you need on top of everything else

Sorry you got your period flat, that really sucks 😞 I have done a bit of research into stress and ttc (infertility is as stressful as having cancer apparently) and the consensus seems to be that if it's going to happen it will no matter the circumstance. Women get pregnant in war zones and after rape sadly and of course they must be insanely stressed out.

Daffodil - oh no how rubbish. You've been through so much already. It would be completely understandable if the circumstances affected your husband in his exam. What are his options now?

@flat so so sorry Hun... can you change the dates you see your parents at all? xx

@daffodil oh now that sounds a right pain, especially as was so close... is he allowed to do them again?

dafodil aww man! I'm sorry to hear that :(
Can he re-sit???
Flat oh no! Sorry for af coming.. can't you just try extra quietly while visting your parents( if your OH is going too) it's awkward but it wouldn't stop me 🙈 i did stop my brother sleeping over a few months back as it was actual ovulation day. But he's a 15 year old lad and he only lives 10mins away lol

My oldest most special friend lit 3 candles for us yesterday at her ds's christening yesterday & also said a prayer, she's such a lovely person (she's suffered 4 mc's) & now has 3 beautiful dc, she understands more than anyone bless her❤️ I completely understand the stress thing with ttc & life itself, unfortunately at the beginning of last week my dp had a new registration appointment at docs & he's blood pressure is through the roof it's so dangerously high it's on the verge of a stroke/heart attack, the gp is very closely monitoring him & has been referred to hospital we also found out the day of our rmc appointment his ecg results are irregular 🙈 So we're trying to use this time until I have polyp removed to de-stress, I am so worried I think my blood pressure is rising by the hour!! on December 19th it's a year since our sparkle died & we are going to light & let of a lantern ❤️ Hang in there everyone hugs to all ....

@flatwhite31
I'm mostly a lurker on this thread after losing my baby at 12 weeks at the end of February but I wanted to share my experience of my cycles post ERPC because I had some similar issues... Basically I wanted and expected my cycles to be normal pretty much straight away but in hindsight I didn't ovulate at all the first two months after the operation.. I had a very light period 6 weeks after the op and had no hormonal symptoms at all before that so am sure I didn't ovulate and it wasn't a proper period. Then I had a second month of the same - no hormones, no ovulation symptoms and a very light period on day 24 of my cycle (it's usually 29-30 days). I was so upset and frustrated that two months had gone by where I felt like I hadn't even ovulated.. But, my third cycle was completely different - mega pmt symptoms and a very heavy period on day 36 of my cycle. I think it just took three months for my hormones to reset themselves and fertility to return.. I didn't get pregnant that cycle or the next but did conceive on my third proper cycle and am now 15 weeks pregnant.
That was too long but I hope my experience helps in some little way...
Love to all the ladies on this thread ❤️

Morning ladies I found this post referenced in another thread about MC I hope you don't mind me joining in.

Missmagpie I am so sorry for your losses, I know exactly what you mean. We had an early scan last week and hoped to be able to give our friends and family good news but were sadly did not have good news. I am now waiting for a second scan on the 27th in case my dates are wrong but I use OPK so know they are right. It will be the longest wait.

I am trying to be postive and I've found much comfort from talking about my experiences and hopefully been able to offer comfort in return. I hope when this next few weeks is over and me and DH feel ready we can join you TTC. Hopefully the thread will have shrunk with successes by then x

Impala 1980
So sorry for your loss, it just goes to show how all different we are!! My af's were pretty much back in whack but like you suffered 1 af light bleeding but major pmt symptoms, then a normal but very heavy af & then an af that was so heavy & painful I ended up in A&E due to passing out!! (That was the 21 day cycle af) I completely understand/sympathise with you flat & all you other ladies especially when we want to ttc & just feel our bodies are normal again!

Huge congratulations impala so happy for you ❤️❤️

Haha @BlueeSpottyTiger that made me laugh! Luckily DH is coming with me. Worst case scenario he'll have to do it into a pot and then I'll, erm, you know...I just don't want to waste the cycle!

@Fillybee Unfortunately my parents live 609 miles away in Scotland and we have booked flights, so no option of changing them. If my period had arrived when it was supposed to, we wouldn't have this problem!

@Impala1980 thank you so much. Your post was so informative and helpful. Your story sounds exactly like mine. I'm really hoping my next cycle is normal. I'm sick of the lack of hormones, and very worried that something is wrong. Am going to contact my GP. Luckily she's lovely, and won't think I'm being a hypochondriac.

I know some people think this is total rubbish, but I'm thinking about alternative therapies like homeopathy to try and reset my system. Even from a psychological point of view, it'll feel like I'm doing something at least.