TTC after pregnancy loss - lucky thread 13

[TheGrumpySquirrel]

Hi guys I couldn't see a new thread so hope you don't mind me starting it off @BertieBotts ?

Oh anne that sucks. Especially when you feel like you've had a really good shot at it.

grumpy exactly - i felt young getting a tattoo - something i've wanted to do for years, my first at 38 - like a mini mid life crisis i guess!!!

presh welcome, sorry you find yourself here.

Ok so cd 12 and a flashing smiley today. Lots of ewcm too thanks to the eve primrose oil tablets seem to be doing their thing. Fingers crossed can persuade OH to dtd over the next few days. We've both been really run down with coughs so i don't expect to manage it more than once in my window, however both last pregnancies i fell only dtd once roughly in my fertile window. Last time i remember it was cd12 and i was a good few days off ov, so i'm trying hard to keep that in my mind and stick to 'what will be will be' attitude. (for now anyway until i drive myself mad with didn't do it more in the 2ww!!!)

I feel the same way nocats - we DTD every day for 2 weeks straight last cycle and all it did was stress me out that even that didn't work! When I got my BFP we DTD only 3 times in the FW, including day of ovulation and the day prior, and then 3 days prior.

Hi Anne, I am always bang on 3 weeks 3 days so my fertile time was last Monday-Saturday, according to ovia. I don't do opk's so don't know exactly. Just know that on Thursday, when I was apparently a 10, we DTD twice.
My obstetrician advised me against the opk's. Said if I didn't get a smiley, I'd get anxious. And if I did get a smiley and nothing happened, I'd get anxious. (Have quite bad anxiety at times). Let's see.
Got pregnant first time/first day trying last time but sadly ended in MMC at 9 weeks.

Glad to have found you all again! 

@AnneLovesGilbert
Sorry to hear that AF got you this month, keep counting down til fertile days start up again & you can go again. Totally appreciate how tedious it all gets!

I recently started acupuncture & taking Chinese herbs- if anyone suggested this to me 12 months ago I would've just laughed & said definitely not for me!

Now after 14 months of TTC I've just got desperate and think I'll try most things!

Also trying not to think about being 14 months older as well

I'm CD21 today and the hopeful twat in me is rising, as usual

This is my temping chart- so it looks like I ovulated around CD15, always get the sustained temp rise after the initial rise post-ovulation.

...and then AF always arrives somewhere between CD27-CD30

Hope everyone is having a good/ok day!

Ooh, how's it going Turquoise? I'm waiting to hear back from a clinic about starting acupuncture too! Figured I've tried reflexology, crystals, reiki, baby lube, not baby lube, dtd every day, doing it a bit less often, eating what I want, drinking, not drinking, eating more salad, taking aspirin - this is next, and I found someone through the Zita West website, so she's got to be a miracle worker right?

I'm also back doing pilates, will continue with the occasional jog and lots of walking too, but the weather sucks and I need to tone up my wobbly bits.

Do you mind sharing what a session is like, what they've asked, told you etc? I was high on painkillers the only time I had it, stretched out on my front over a bench, and it was an english physio who did it. I imagine this other place will be different!

You're absolutely right, just have to crack on. I'm struggling big time at 7 months so you have my tireless admiration for having any sense of humour at 14. Is the acupuncture only for fertility/conception or general wellbeing? And does it matter when in your cycle you have it?

I remember Miami saying when she had it her ewcm and ov pain started lining up again after a few post mc cycles being a mess and she was pregnant not long after.

I felt the same about temping actually, Swore I'd never do that or OPK, but I wish I'd started it ages ago. And to be fair, I did conceive 3 times without any of it, but it's not happening now and temping has given me a sense of more control, which I like a lot.

Hi Anne

I've thought about trying reflexology- what's it like and what exactly does it involve? It's something I might try and do towards the end of this year if nothing is happening by then.

Zita West is a bit of a legend by all accounts, hope you get your appointment soon.

Yes, I don't mind giving some information.
It was a chinese medicine practitioner I went to see, so the whole place is geared towards chinese medicine, massage, acupuncture.
It was an appointment specifically geared towards (in)fertility and so that was the focus.

She took a very detailed medical history, asking lots of questions about everything- what age my periods started, what my cycles are like, alcohol/smoking etc.

She looked at all the blood results that I've had done so far- Thyroid, FSH & LH and day 21 Progesterone- all normal.
Husband's sperm analysis- 1% morphology (eeeek!)

Then she explained all about the concept of chinese medicine, what it aims to achieve, yin & yang, my Qi (life energy/force) and how it relates to function of all organs and meridians in the body.
So far, so woo.

Then for the acupuncture I was lying on a couch with my jeans off (covered lower half with a towel) and she put the (tiny) needles into various parts of my body. Top of my head, lower cheek (weirdly had had a breakout of spots a few days before), a few on lower tummy below my belly button, hands/wrists, above knees and in my feet (I think).
Could barely feel them going in although the ones in my hands did sting a bit at first.

Then I lay there for around half an hour or more, actually fell asleep as it was so relaxing! Once it was done I felt ok but quite tired.

I think the fact that I'd done something about our TTC situation (apart from seeing the GP) felt strangely liberating, talking to somebody about it all in detail and then trying the acupuncture which is something totally new to me.

Also, I'm taking chinese herbs, drinking it as a tea- tastes awful but I'm getting on with it, I figure if it helps me get pregnant then I'm up for anything pretty much!

So that was my encounter with acupuncture/chinese medicine. Got another appointment in 2 weeks, look forward to it.

It some ways, doing this has broken the monotony of TTC somehow.

Sounds excellent! Thanks for explaining it so well. Where are they when you're lying with the needles in for half an hour? Do they come and twiddle them or leave you be? And have they said how often to have a session, every fortnight going forward?

I had quite a bit of reflexology but in the end wasn't mad on my therapist she wasn't woo enough for me and it was a bit tied up with having been excited and pregnant, and then sad afterwards, and then all of it again, and she didn't deal with it very well even though we didn't talk about it much at all. Where I've had hugs and tears and genuine heartfelt compassion from the nurses at my GPs, this holistic healer was stilted and came out with "sounds very difficult, but sure you'll feel better soon" and "sure you'll be pregnant again soon, but your hormones will be a complete mess for a while".

Well, yes, thanks lady....

Basic history for the first session, not much detail. Sit back in the funky chair, blanket over the legs, wet wipe of the feet, whale music on, then a routine on the bottom of each foot feeling all sorts of points and working on anything crunchy. I'd have liked to have had an explanation of what she was doing/finding but she wasn't very forthcoming and preferred a general chat or silence. At the end, bit of foot cream and a nice foot rub then all done.

The treatment itself was amazing, super relaxing, lovely quiet hour to myself, slept incredibly well afterwards. She came to my home so I'd have a bath and wash my hair before, have the reflexology then lie on the sofa watching crap telly for an hour and go to sleep.

I'd definitely have it again when pregnant. But for now I want magical energy forces on my side and/or a bit of ancient science wisdom

I've found a couple of promising looking practitioners, one much closer to home who's in the Acupuncture for Childbirth Team in my area! She must be good

Re where you are in your cycle, I don't think it really matters.

To be honest, I felt a bit of a fraud sitting in there, telling her about my regular periods and bang on normal cycle length etc.

Often I think women go to try and regulate their cycles or to try and get a period if there are very irregular- also I think quite a few women/couples go there before/during the IVF process. They asked me a few times about assisted conception/IVF

I cannot believe it's been a whole 15 months since my MMC- I try not to think about it too much as it really makes me sad and tearful.

Yes I've fallen pregnant twice before with none of this stuff- no planning, checking dates or temperatures or cervix positions!
But, it's just not happening again yet.

I'm sad thinking about the fact that Christmas is only a few months ago, the 1 year anniversary of my due date will be just before then.

Last Christmas I was sad as we should've had a newborn baby and also I reckoned I would've been pregnant by then (keeping the hope alive!)

This year I don't even want to think about- not only no baby from all our efforts over the past 14 months, but also quite likely to not even be frickin pregnant!!

Mother Nature is a complete bitch.

Also, in the back of my mind, I know I'll have to get pregnant in the next month or two if I have any chance of having a baby before I'm 40.
This time last year I was saying it needed to happen so I could have the baby aged 38.

Wonder where this will all end?

You're right about temping- I am so glad that I started doing it again- did it first about a year ago, for several weeks or so. Then started up again in July. It does help give me a sense of control too- I know for sure if/when I have ovulated, you don't get that with OPKs.

I used the cheap OPKs from time to time, bought my first ever batch of them a week or so after finding out about the MMC.

Bought the expensive CB dual hormone ones at the start of this year and used until I ran out of sticks- got the right smilies to indicate my peak days and we DTD lots. Am thinking now that DH's sperm issue is probably the reason we never caught- and I probably was ovulating etc.

I just chucked the device in the bin after a few months & feeling frustrated!

So since March I've been trying to chill out and not think about TTC (ha ha yeah right!)...then I swung the other way when it hit the year mark in July. Got the Ovia app back & started temping every day, and read the book 'Taking charge of your fertility'- it gives me something to focus on.

Maybe doing all this makes me more stressed about it, but I've come to the conclusion that we don't have any more time just to float along saying "it'll happen one day"- my next birthday is the big 4-0

I was left totally alone in the room for over half an hour- I think she went off to see another client or something. Nobody came back in, once the needles were in, no twiddling or anything.

I really liked the fact I was alone for that length of time, it was actually really relaxing!

She didn't say how often to have it, but my next appointment is 3 weeks after my first, at her suggestion.

Reflexology sounds like it's my thing- also sounds a bit like a foot massage?! I love any sort of massage.

Think I'll keep going with the acupuncture & chinese herbs, see if it makes any difference...if not, may go after some reflexology.

I have recently had some acupuncture sessions too. Very similar to what turquoise describes, but what was different was - she felt certain areas and asked which bits were painful in a very small area and put needle in more painful bit (but not in a bad targeting pain way as needles didn't hurt anyway). She said she wouldn't focus on uterus when I was bleeding or due to bleed soon as it might make me bleed too much, so before or soon after ovulation would be best I think. She left room when I was relaxing. I didn't know whether to keep still or wiggle toes / fingers or tense skin to make myself feel needles more. She said moving fine to stimulate points and i preferred moving a bit. It was very relaxing and I think helped me ovulate - although could have been coincidence, but cycles seem to be more on track after second miscarriage compared to first when no acupuncture. I hope you like it and it helps.

Oh and she said I was yin deficient and suggested foods that might help to incorporate into diet. But no Chinese medicines.

Ive attached my chart. Interesting how different charts can be. This is my temp and Opk chart. I thought I had short luteal phase but then did Opk and realised I ovulate couple days after Opk and couple days before temp rise so at limit of both expected time range. Most charts seem to have them closer I have seen.

Trying to conceive my second child took 18 months. I had secondary infertility and did all the first steps, me tested, bloods, OH sperm tested etc. Bought expensive fertility motor, drank grapefruit juice, cough mixture pre ov, ate pineapple post ov, and finally did a session of reflexology where she chatted about my issues, relaxed me and then worked on my feet. I really enjoyed it, love a massage anyway! But she said what she was doing, worked on various points. It was quite sore at one point when she was pushing on a point supposedly associated with my ovaries. She said i was due to ov in a few days. Think I went home and dtd either that night or the next and oddly (or not) fell pregnant that month. All went on to be ok and i had ds2.
Anyway, all this acupuncture and reflexology chat makes me think i might do another session!

Hi ladies, sorry I don't check my phone 9 hours of the day Mon-Fri as in so busy at work. Just wondering how long you all had off? I've got work at home today after a ten hour day at school (not unusual) and feeling completely overwhelmed, mainly because I don't give a shit about any of it! If I could go part time or quit, I'd do it in a minute. Got 2 parents evenings next week too, so that's two 12 hour days on top of the usual ten hour days, excluding evenings and weekend working. I just don't want to do any of it.

Hi Flat, I had two weeks off all together. Then I had a half-day back & straight into my usual long hours. It was really tough, I lead a team and it was hard to stay motivated.
I can actually remember thinking 'fuck this, fuck the mortgage, let's go on holiday'. However, on voicing this to DH got this face .
I did settle eventually but it took several weeks I must admit, mainly because I was so sure of a successful pregnancy I'd planned when I'd start my mat leave, how I'd find a job share etc etc and in my head wasn't 'at work'. It was tricky to get back into that mindset but I am now.

On a happier and waaaaay TMI note, got tons of ewcm today despite a negative OPK. Seduced DH just in case

Excellent work yellow! 🙌🏻

@yellowfrontdoor I feel exactly the same. I'm not motivated at ALL. I'm bored of it all. I was supposed be going in February, and I had it all planned out. Am struggling to get out of bed every day, as I just don't want to do it. Cried most of last night and again this morning. It's hard in teaching as I'm having to pretend to be enthusiastic, but inside I'm just not. I honestly couldn't care less.

only just found this! lack of messages on other thread confused me!! I will need to catch up on all your messages tonight but started the digital ovulation tracker yesterday and zero, then today, straight to static smiley! Last time I had zero, then one flashy then a static - OH wouldn't do the deed this morning as he didn't want to be late so we have to wait until tonight. I, of course, am panicking we are going to miss this month and have to wait a further month, though we have follow up scan at 235 so in some ways, makes sense that we wait until after that.

That is, if the digital kit is right - I did a cheapie one and only a faint line. I use first wee this morning but I had got up at 5 for one (and wasn't going to do it then as would've been awake) so a bit worried it's all wrong.

Arghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Has anyone else had hair loss after mc? I know I did after pregnancy with my daughter but my hair was all thick then after 9 months of good stuff. This time it's coming out in clumps but was already thin as I was so ill with hyperemesis. I look a right state.

Yes I have it bean, but I have alopecia anyway. During pregnancy my scalp stopped hurting and my hair seemed luscious. No longer

Don't worry coastal - the static smiley generally means you could ovulate in 24 to 36 hours so if you have sex tonight you should still be in plenty of time to catch the egg

Flat I had my MMC confirmed on 12 June, ERPC on Thursday 15th and was back to work on the Sunday. To be fair, we only had 2 weeks left of term so it wasn't very taxing. I remember being exhausted though. But that could me my hours and commute (up at 5, leave at 5.45 and home 4.30-4.45) 🙈🙈

Everyone seems to be having babies at the minute and it isn't nice for me (or any of us) but we have to stay positive and look at it logically that it happened once so it can and will happen again. Positive vibes to everyone.

Flat i had mine on the sunday and was back at work on friday. I just work part time though (as i have kids) so i just went on auto pilot. everyone is different though, if you need more time off then you must see if you can take it. I still feel having children already has helped me enormously to get over these 2 mc's. I'm sorry you're having such a tough time.

Well done yellow!

I got another flashing smiley today so i hope to get OH to dtd tonight!

Flat I had 2 weeks off and went back earlier than for what I was signed off. Wish I hadn't come back early. Wish I'd got another note. Everyone copes differently. So sorry you're struggling. Mother Nature is so cruel

I had 5 weeks off- which felt like ages but I know I needed it, just wasn't ready to go back to work. take as long as you need!

Did anybody find the first cycle afterwards messed up? Had my first period following my mmc, and now no idea what's happening- just more spotting / back pain every couple of days. Just want it all to settle down- so I can concentrate on TTC. So fed up.