TTC after pregnancy loss - lucky thread 13

[TheGrumpySquirrel]

Hi guys I couldn't see a new thread so hope you don't mind me starting it off @BertieBotts ?

Hi all I'll rejoin! Pretty sure I was on the last one although been off mn for the last couple of weeks so I don't know where I am!

Got my positive opk today since having a chemical pregnancy start of the month!

Really hoping it happens for us this month, as my due date would work out at pretty much exactly a year after we lost our little boy. I'm sure we won't be that lucky through 🙄

My period is starting! I'm taking this as a win since it's four weeks today since my erpc so at least my body has gone back to regular cycles straight away.

Top one is tests from yesterday and this morning - not sure which is which. Then just did cheapie now (next one down) and another clear blue with a spare kit I had - showing clear ovulation in my view

But not sure if can convince OH to DTD. Just went to see the Consultsnt who was AWFUL. English was not first language, which I don't mean in a racist way at all, just that it was difficult to understand with the language barrier, and some of his comments came across as unsympathetic. I ended up fleeing the room for a short while in tears as couldn't bear it. He hadn't even read my notes so thought I was pregnant - I mean, come on!

Anyway, good news is we got the all clear. In fact he said my uterus was perfect (hoping didn't get the language barrier wrong with that one!) but he reckons the uterus is like a house, someone has just moved out so we need to redecorate (period) before TTC again. Which is pure bollocks but now OH seems to want to follow his advice. Which is contrary to my uncles advice (he's a GP).

I did (after I'd fled) tell the consultant I felt like I was being patronised or thought of as stupid. I get he's the expert but I'm an intelligent person. He was the same with my friend apparently (who is a Cambridge graduate and science teacher) and she really does research properly, she reads medical journals and all kinds.

It does annoy me when they're like that - I totally get they are the expert but there's a way to handle an emotional woman who has self-researched sensitively!!!!

So the saga continues. Not sure if we will catch the egg or even have sex at this point.

What the fuck coastal? He thought you were pregnant?! That is inexcusable, I'm so sorry you went through that. I would consider making a complaint.

Yeah I know - totally unacceptable. I think he may have suffered enough though with my fleeing the room in tears!

I have rung the practice manager and not made a complaint as such but have said I'd like one of the other consultants (one of whom is husband of someone I know) to call me as feel I have unanswered questions I just need to understand

Just got a message from a work colleague telling me she had her 12 week scan this morning. She told me before anyone else so I didn't hear through gossip, which is so lovely of her. I can't stop crying though. That's the second lot of pregnancy news I've heard in two days from people I know. Both ladies are so lovely, but I can't help feeling like a complete failure. I just want to curl up and never wake up right now.

Flat i totally get it. And we feel awful for feeling this way, it does make us into bitter people. But it will be our turn one day. Please please try and hold onto that. We can do this xx

I know @coastalchick. I just can't help but feel that it should be my turn now. I feel like because the pregnancy wasn't successful, that I have wasted 3 months of my life, and for what? I got through all the sickness and exhaustion of the first trimester for bugger all! All I got was to be sitting at home every night in tears. I won't be back into a regular cycle either as my ERPC was nearly four weeks ago, and I have absolutely no AF symptoms yet (I always get them a week in advance). Yet more bloody time to wait.

@Flatwhite31
I'm totally with you about the feeling that it should be your turn now.

Totally felt that it was an utter waste of 3 months- getting through all the extreme fatigue, nausea and almost into 2nd trimester (1 day away!)

Yes- bugger all apart from the joy of deciding between surgical or medical management.

I get a pang of jealousy when others announce their pregnancies.

Saw a colleague at work yesterday, not seen her for a while but I did a double take as she's obviously pregnant, at least 20 weeks I'd say.

She only came back from mat leave around Easter- her LO is now 18 months.

I found it painful thinking back to last March when we heard the news that she'd had baby number 1. I then found about my pregnancy just a few weeks later (ended at 12+6 MMC)

Cannot believe I've been TTC most of the time she's been on mat leave and she comes back to work already pregnant....not fair (foot stamping!).

Plus she has the same December due date as I had.

She is lovely but I had to just walk away as she talked to other colleagues about this baby being the last one etc and that she was so happy to get it all done in the space of less than 2 years. How they'd totally planned it to be like this etc

All I could think to myself was, don't be so certain that everything will go so smoothly.

Obviously didn't say that to her but I hate the way MMC/TTC for over a year has made me

I can see that she's going to be one of those types who bangs on about the best age gaps, how to plan your pregnancies etc

Omg @TurquoiseDress you took the words right out of my mouth! I also work with someone who is going to be having baby number 3 just 15 months after baby number 2. She has been so so lovely to me too, but again, I can't help but feel sad and bitter. I actually think I'm on the verge of a breakdown, as I'm struggling to balance the emotions of this with my insane workload at school. I can feel it 'simmering' if you know what I mean, and I think it's going to spill over any day now. Tried ringing my GP today as I'm at breaking point, but was on hold for 35 mins and gave up. There really is no help out there.

Damnit turquoise that really is insane. And so fucking unfair. I can totally see why you wouldn't want to hear about it even if she is a lovely person.

Flat - I'm so sorry you're feeling so low. Can you call miscarriage association tomorrow to see if it helps to talk to someone who's been through it? Or try to get an emergency appt with your gp. It sounds like you do need to be signed off for another week or two. ❤️

Totally sympathise with this. I too look at friends who have got pregnant again quickly and everything fine with their second and I kinda think how is it fair you can have 2 pregnancies without complications and I can't even have 1

We've not DTD yet. Tried but it's really painful for me so we had to stop. Going to try again a bit later or in the morning but think we will probably end up missing this month so another 6 week wait before any notion of a BFP

We tried DTD on Sunday @coastalchick and I was getting awful abdominal pains during and after. That upset me, as I never had that before this shitty miscarriage. Soooo depressing.

Agreed. It's just pants. Want to try again after Dr Foster but not sure I can face it. I now just keep bursting into tears!

Today I got to work behind the counter for some of my shift this afternoon, cue first customer being fairly pregnant. Eurgh give me a break

Ffs unicorns - they are everywhere hey!

So we are not DTD tonight. Going to test again in the am and try then as just think we will be too tired egg g will frustrate us more.

If we don't make this month I suppose that at least I can not worry on holiday. But every month that goes by is another month we won't get married for

Hi all, sorry everyone is struggling with baby bombs at the moment.
Had a lovely weekend away over what would have been my due date, having had a negative test on Fri I was expecting AF all weekend, but no sign, so tested this morning and.. BFP! Hope it gives some of you hope that it can happen, and when you least expect it. I'm incredibly anxious right now, not even daring to look up due dates, but here's hoping 3rd time's the charm. Will hang about for a bit if that's ok?

That's super news @halloumi ^^ what a bittersweet weekend for you

Another reason why Miscarriage is so bloody hard...have cropped these to protect the identities of the women.

Omfg Flatwhite that's terrible. I know that the units are bust but Jesus fucking Christ that first one

Big hugs to everyone struggling- def take more time off work if you need to. I can empathise with the not caring about work feeling! However it does get better. I'm on cycle 5 post mc now and actually less obsessed with getting pregnant again, a bit more interested in my job and friends, and finally feel a bit more like my old self. I even broached the pay negotiation with my boss today and stage 1 of that process seems to have gone as well as it can. I'm so focused on getting what I want now, as hopefully next year I'll take some form of maternity leave so will have less negotiating power.

I emailed an acupuncturist after you lot were chatting about it - he's emailed me back straight away and is going to give me more information shortly. Hoping to get help for anxiety and my weird short periods. Although google says 2-7 days is normal and mooncup can shorten AF (how?? By opening things up more? ) I still think it's not normal for me - last one was 2 days!

Halloumi that is amazing news! Yay! Now I'm wondering if I should POAS to check my period was actually real ~not really but a bit~

Strike out fail! I've been whatsapping too much!

Congrats halloumi! Keep us posted how you're getting on..... x

Congrats @halloumisandwich. So pleased for you. This is going to sound awful, but I am so much happier for people like us who get a BFP, as we know how hard a journey it is. I couldn't care less about other people's BFPs, but do feel genuine happiness for people like us. Do keep us posted my lovely. Xx

Massive congrats Halloumi! Gives us all hope. x