TTC after pregnancy loss: We're nervous, we're hopeful, we're checking all the charts and taking all the vits!

[BertieBotts]

Welcome back all and welcome new posters.

Keeping it all crossed halloumi xx

What a lovely gp Flatwhite, glad it went well

That's interesting @JenCFA. I was only told to ring them if the bleeding was really heavy. I keep getting pains too, but my GP wasn't concerned and I have no fever, so I'm assuming it's just everything settling down. They aren't unbearable, so hopefully they'll disappear soon.

I'm so glad you have a GP that listened to you Flatwhite31

Hope everyone who started their new jobs/went back today had a good day

Starting to feel like I'm getting the beginnings of AF cramps. Might be due on the 14th. Time to try again - again

Had some pink cm this eve so expect af will be in full flow by the morning. My mc feels like so long ago that it makes no sense to me that I'm still trying?? Obviously disappointed / confused (we DTD every day for two weeks straight) but not as upset as I thought I'd be. Goal for next month = waste less FRERs...

Flatwhite your GP sounds lovely.

Sorry for af grumpy and unicorns ❤️

Question: I'm defo ovulating as poas confirmed this over the weekend. But the stomach cramps are quite bad! I've always been aware of ovulation but nothing like this! Considering pain relief! In bed with hot water bottle....Anyone had this first cycle after miscarriage??

weasledee I had this when I ovulated before first AF and it was pretty horrible. I put it down to things readjusting and going from suddenly having to work again (basically bullshit excuses to make myself feel better). I definitely noticed it was worse post MC though :/

Yep weasledee, this past weekend! It's very common apparently for ov to be way more noticeable/ painful post mc

Thanks ladies, it's settled down now. Couldn't believe that pain last night, was all for phoning for a scan or something this morning! You'd think you'd be told this kind of thing when you're discharged from hospital.

Well my period is trolling me as it still hasn't started. Another bfn this morning so I wish it would just hurry up

Got to sleep at 3 thanks to the wonderful cramping I had. Just turn up so I move on. On the plus side I'm cd27 so I actually appear to be normal on that front, even if nothing else is

Oh grumpy that sucks. especially as like you said you dtd for 2 weeks, how it's not easier to fall pregnant i'll never know. Although somewhere I'd heard that OH sperm can be better if you do it every other day to give it a chance to recoup? Is that even true or did I just make it up?

flat your gp sounds great, thank goodness. And how nice you can go back and see her to see how you feel in a few weeks time

I have a stinking cold which needs to bugger off soon so i feel more like dtd at the weekend. cd6 here so will begin peeing on things in a few days time. Think i'll have my fertile time mid next week.

Oh and anyone needing to stock up on various bits - holland and barrett has a buy one get one half price which might help if like me you are buying ridiculously expensive ubiquinol!!!

Is anyone else constantly up and down? One minute I feel fine and the next I'm in floods of tears. Am signed off until Monday but feel I should go back tomorrow, but then the thought of going to work for 7 hours fills me with dread.

Am also still raging over the people who haven't really given a shit if I'm ok or not. I honestly think people think it's just a bit of bleeding and we should get over it in a week. But it's not like that at all. It (and conceiving again) are ALL I think about. We are going away to Sicily next week and I don't even want to go. First holiday I've not looked forward to at all.

I just want to sit in my PJ's at home and rest. OH doesn't understand.

coastal i completely understand how you feel. The up down feeling happens to me, sometimes points in my cycle will set it off, the pre fertile week, when i'm gearing up for it all again, the crushing disappointment of seeing af turn up. Or someone announcing they're pregnant etc. I also don't feel people really get how long it all lasts. My first mc this year was in feb, second was in late april. People haven't asked about it but i feel it as raw as ever. I think people look at me with a mix of isn't she greedy (it will be my third child) to of course she's over it she has two already why should i be allowed to be upset? But it hurts, REALLY hurts having lost two babies. I don't feel over it, just because i have children already doesn't make the pain any less. In fact my oldest often asks when is he getting another sibling, he would love one, and i find that really difficult not to cry that i've lost two already... My OH sort of understands but he probably has no idea how often i actually think about it still now, 5 months after the last one, and how many random moments of sadness i have throughout the day over seemlingly nothing.

Sicily sounds lovely, i'm sorry you're not looking forward to it. Perhaps you can explain to your OH how you're feeling at the moment and plan a chilled holiday. Lots of walking along the beach, sitting in your pjs in the eve watching a good box set etc? Not doing too much, or asking too much of yourself, but just enjoying the island for the beauty of it, clearing your head and getting ready to start again? Masses of hugs to you.

@nocats - thank you and sorry for your losses too. It's just terrible hey? And I agree, just because you have children already, doesn't minimise how you feel - if another child is wanted, it is wanted, and any loss is tragic, and personally heartbreaking.

I just don't want to be a sad person, I want to appreciate all I have and being ALIVE, but it is hard at the moment.

Yesterday would've been my 12 week scan appointment (which would've been slightly early as I put my 12 weeks as this Thurs or Fri). Of course, someone (not one of my friends, but someone a couple of friends are friends with) announced on FB yesterday that they were having a baby in March so they must've had their 12 week scan yesterday. And I just hate them. And I shouldn't. It's not their fault and they deserve a baby as much as the next person. But I can't help it. That should've been us.

Yeah, I think I will suggest a chilled holiday to OH. He thinks I should be back at work already and that wallowing isn't good for me. He's annoyed that all I am doing all day is watching TV and being on here. But I need this. I just do. But I also don't want to be a sad person.

Well my 12wk scan would've been 2 months ago today (that I never had) and shot went down 2 months ago yesterday, and I still feel a bit all over the place. I get what you're saying about how long mc lasts for. Mine took about 3 weeks but tbf until my cycle gets back to normal and I don't spot again inbetween it will never feel like it's over.

Maybe for your holiday just exist, you know? Sometimes just being there is more important than running about trying to soak everything up

Coastal you won't always be sad, it will pass with time, i have moments now but its not as all consuming as it was in the early days. i find passing milestones like that more helpful - like the 12 week scan, then the 20 week and now i'm waiting to pass my due date at the end of the month and then maybe i can move on again.

And i needed time too - so don't feel bad about that, being off work and watching TV if its what you need now to feel stronger and feel a bit better in the future. i am never ungrateful for what i already have (two lovely lovely boys) but i can feel immensely grateful for them and also a bit sad too. its not an either or thing, its all wrapped up in a mix of feelings...

AF is here finally and I'm so angry that I lost my baby and I'm having to do this all over again

Hi everyone. Well it is three weeks since I miscarried at 11 weeks and I think it's now all over as bleeding stopped last week and my hpt was negative today. It's a relief but also incredibly sad. I should be 14 weeks now.

I totally agree about the aftercare Flat et al. Since I was discharged from hospital I have heard nothing. I am still awaiting the results of the tests on the foetus and the referral to the RMC. Without some really good friends who have let me talk to them, I would be a mess.

I am back at work now and it is helping but I know how you feel Coastal. There will be ups and downs for a long time.

FX for you Ek - really hope this is the one for you.

When I get pregnant again, after three mcs this year, should I ask for my thyroid to be tested? What about anything else? Why do people take aspirin? No Drs have said anything to me yet.

So sorry grumpy :(

Hi magpie, as u may have read further down I'm in week 7 after medical miscarriage at 14 weeks and I'm yet to hear from the hospital! I ended up calling them to remind them i still exist as we're waiting to hear from the genetics team. We're ttc again now but I don't know what the plan would be for me regarding early scans etc, no advice whatsoever!

so sorry grumpy. I feel your anger for you. It really is shit.

@magpie - I was reading some hashtag (can't find hashtag on my mac!) miscourage stories on Tommy's website today (really useful if others haven't seen them yet) and one girl mentioned Factor V Leiden test which is apparently re clotting - she had had 2 MC's then with 3rd baby (successful pregnancy) had been taking blood thinning drugs and baby aspirin. Might be worth pushing for the test. Apparently it's still in early stages of research through Tommy's as to whether this causes miscarriage, but this girl said both her and her friend had had positive result for this and then when taking the medication, carried to term.

@coastal I was on a plane to Italy 36 hours after my ERPC. I didn't want to go, and spent every day in tears while there. However, parts of it were enjoyable and I'm glad we went overall, but it'll forever be 'that' holiday, and I took very few photos. I'm still not sure if it was the right decision to go or not, but I'm actually finding things more difficult now I'm home, so maybe it was a good thing. Work is a distraction while it lasts, but I feel like I'm just 'functioning' at the moment rather than actually living. Am very very tearful today as DH is out this evening, and I'm not very good at coping when I'm on my own. I'm still getting BFPs 18 days after the ERPC and I hate my body for it.
@TheGrumpySquirrel I know what you mean about starting again. It's unbearable .

@coastalchick
Yep absolutely normal to feel up & down and well pretty much all over the place!

Take the time you feel you need, going back when you're wobbly and not quite "back on track" (relatively speaking) is not a good idea.

I remember the day before I supposed to go back to work (almost 1 week After medical management), feeling massively low & sad. Told OH I couldn't face going back in and he was trying to be positive and saying it may help.

In the end I told work I wouldn't be in/that I needed another scan, spent most of the day staring into space & looking on mumsnet/miscarriage association website.

Then I went for a long run, got home and the cramps started- then spent the next 48 hours properly passing the contents of my uterus

I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you're not feeling right/ready, take more time off. Work can wait

On another note, I'm CD15 just home from work a short while ago- spent the afternoon drinking lots of water & trips for a wee- randomly did a cheap OPK and it's ragingly positive!

Sadly DH is away tonight and won't be back for another 3 days/end of week
We DTD yesterday CD14 so maybe all not lost.

My temperature has dipped low today and the previous 2 days- I'm pretty certain I'll get the temperature spike tomorrow (we'll see!)
Shame DH not here to DTD!