TTC after pregnancy loss: We're nervous, we're hopeful, we're checking all the charts and taking all the vits!

[BertieBotts]

Welcome back all and welcome new posters.

I have @MogScratch and it's still positive unfortunately (not a dark line, but not a squinter either) so it'll be that resulting in the positive OPK. I still don't understand why the OPK was negative then positive though. Surely if I had enough HCG, the OPK would have been positive yesterday and this morning? Am I possibly having an HCG surge from retained 'products' (hate that word)? Who knows. Got the GP tomorrow, so will ask them. Think we might give DTD a go tonight, as we both agreed we just want to feel close and intimate again. I'm a bit nervous though I'll admit.

Yes my Opks were showing two strong lines when still hcg still present (second miscarriage) but I wasn't ovulating, so don't think they can be trusted. But i tested because in hindsight I thought I might ovulated after first miscarriage as hcg was dropping and might not have been totally out of system. Don't know if I even ovulated at all though. It's so confusing after miscarriage, try not to over analyse it if you can.

Good luck yellow!

flat firstly I'm sorry you are feeling so very down. I'm glad you are able to say it though and also going to the doctors about it too, it's very important to talk about it. It is the hardest I think just after the mc when everything is bloody messed up. I too had a mmc and had no idea I was carrying my dead baby about and felt my body had tricked me so understand your thoughts. I also wanted to say that a friend of mine who has had 6 miscarriages and various treatments has fallen pregnant again and made it to 20+ weeks by chance. They had investigated surrogacy as they really didn't expect to be able to carry their own child. So there is hope there. She's 38 as well so she was beginning to panic too. I hope stories like this give you hope, I know they make me feel better...

With regards to the opk. Do you have a digital pregnancy test? I'd do one of those - that way you might get a clear answer rather than faint lines? Just an idea. Then you'll know you are ok to try again, but I do think it's a good idea to want to be close to your OH. I hope tomorrow goes ok at the doctors.

I'm my news I'm having a stinking hot bath in the safe knowledge I'm not pregnant. Think I'm over af, seemed crazy short this month but never mind. I'm now onto the evening primrose oil. I've got 500g tablets, how many do people take to improve ewcm? Determined that my first 'due month' will be the month I fall pregnant again....

Hi all.
Thanks for all the good luck, it wasn't anywhere near as bad as I thought apart from this exchange:

SIL 'I can't imagine how frustrating it is for you both'
Me (in my head) 'frustrating?! Frustrating is getting to the end of your flat pack & there's a screw missing'
Me (out loud) 'frustrating?!' (Tinkly laugh). Devastating. Try devastating.
SIL 'yes, yes of course'.

Christ on a bike.

@KerryLeanne84 just read your comment about ovulation pain being stronger after mc. I had pain so bad 3 weeks ago I went to the doctor. Af work the next day my manager said I was grey I was in so much pain. I got a positive OPK that day but couldn't believe it was just ov pain! Never ever had it before but will look out for it this month. Wish I'd forced myself to dtd last month.
Nearly at the end of AF. Looking towards FW & trying to stay positive.

No cats - I took two of those. I think you can take more but that had the right effect.

Completely devastating yellow💛 Glad the rest of the party was bearable

The ovulation thing is another one of those great surprises that women who miscarry experience lol! Apparently lots of women go to the Drs because the pain is so bad.

All the eye rolls yellow. But I'm glad you said that out loud to her. It needs to be said to people who have no idea how utterly crap miscarriage is and not for a few days after like a bad cold...but for months and months...

Morning all, I had my first strong ovulation stick at the weekend post miscarriage 6 weeks ago. Made husband DTD as neither of us wanted to as we have colds! But, oh well we had to battle on! Can't do it anymore as he's more poorly today so now I'm in the 2ww..... not holding out too much hope

I've reminded myself to go back and count only the cycles where we actually DTD at the right time AND I definitely ovulated and so this is only cycle 7 since the last miscarriage according to that. I know it doesn't help to have time frames in mind but up to 8 months is where my calculations go as an average for healthy couples. (I would guess they get you to wait a year because it's rounder and to account for any anovulatory cycles or poor timing).

On a brighter note I took DS back to school this morning and as I was walking home there was the lightest, mistiest rain which didn't even feel like rain and when I got home and was making my breakfast smoothie I looked out of the window to see a perfect rainbow spreading right across my view :) I've been going a bit nuts the last few days looking for "signs" and so I feel calm and positive after seeing that. 🌈

Love a 🌈 Bertie! Here's hoping we'll all get our 🌈 Babies before long

@BertieBotts - lovely! Hope it's a sign! x

@weasledee - good luck on the 2WW - have everything crossed for you

@yellowfrontdoor - agree that it needed to be said out loud - I think unless someone has had a MC they think that a MC is just a bit of bleeding and something which can be overcome quite quickly (I think I thought this before my own), how wrong they are!

@flatwhite31 - sorry you are down. Hope your GP can give you some help/answers on the OPK point.

Good work weasle! I'm still waiting for my period - 4.5 weeks and counting. Can believe I actually miss the hyperemesis.

Still off work. Signed off until 18th and tempted to stay off but there's a drinks thing I organised between my work and OH's work on Thursday so I really ought to be in for that. Having hair done on friday (I don't work fridays anyway) - will be bittersweet as previously was stressing about what I could have done highlights wise given was pregnant - no need for that now!

OH and I are out for a posh dinner friday night as his mum got us a voucher for xmas that we need to use by this xmas and now that I can actually eat rare steak again and drink red wine we thought we had better make use of it, in case by some miracle, I get pregnant between now and xmas.

Then might be out with SIL and BIL Sat to celebrate my b'day (not that I ACTUALLY want to celebrate turning 39 as just reminds me time running out) so really think I ought to get into work by Weds so that there's no issue with me being seen out and about.

That said, it's not like I'm claiming to be laid up in bed - it's more the emotional stuff after MC. And surely they would understand that I need to get out the house?!

My period came at the 4.5 week mark Bean so hopefully yours will arrive soon! I had hyperemesis too, were you in that Mumsnet group?

oh and I'm bloody bleeding again - FFS!!!!!!

I agree with nobody understanding about miscarriage. I don't think people talk about it enough, like it's something to be ashamed off, which we know it isn't! When I told people about my miscarriages they would then admit they had had them too.

Yes weasle. I followed your sad story and then joined you hear two weeks later also after my 12 week scan x

I thought I recognised the name Bean, hopefully we can join the "awful" group again together soon!!

I'm sure they'll understand costal. DH and I went to Ikea the day after my MC, and spent the afternoon putting together a flat pack - it felt good to be doing something constructive (although everyone we told I'm sure thought we were nuts!) Sorry you're still bleeding - it WILL end - mine tapered off so there were a few days with nothing and then it'd suddenly start up again.
Good luck with your drs appointment today flat, I hope they're helpful. I've been feeling similar in terms of not wanting to go out, not contacting friends, it's made me feel quite lonely, but it's a slow process and we will get there . Think most of my friends have given up on me at this stage - as NoCats said, I think people expect it to be crap for a few days, but a month or so down the line there's an expectation that you'll be fine again, when really it's still all I can think about.

I'm 8 dpo and symptom spotting like a maniac. Am I more tired than normal? Do my boobs hurt? Best give them another prod to double check

Fingers crossed for you Halloumi!

Great advice Halloumi! My fingers are crossed for you too. When are you expecting af?

Thanks both. I'm not really sure on AF as I was bleeding all over the place and couldn't tell what was AF vs. MC, but will prob test on Friday- we're going away for a long weekend as my first due date is on Saturday so I want to know if I can have a glass of wine or not. Trying not to get too hopeful twat-ish!

@halloumisandwich my GP was AMAZING. She just listened and gave me her time. I cried, but she was so lovely. It was the little things that I noticed, like moving her chair closer to me when I was upset to show me she was really listening. She admitted the emotional aftercare for miscarriage is rubbish, and booked me in to see her in 3 weeks time to see how I'm getting on. I feel a little better just for going to see her, as I felt I could unburden myself a little.

@coastalchick my bleeding was very stop start. I thought I'd stopped yesterday, but got quite a bit of brown discharge today. It's so annoying isn't it, and just makes it such a drawn out process.

Keeping everything crossed for you @halloumisandwich! I remember symptom spotting when starting TTC earlier this year! The problem with me was I convinced myself every month that I was pregnant! I obviously absolutely hate that the MC happened, but at least I can symptom spot a bit more carefully now I know what it's like to be pregnant.

Fingers crossed! @halloumi

To anyone worried about bleeding/ waiting it out after an erpc, the doctor I saw at Queen Charlotte's (I think at the specialist Tommys research bit) said to contact the epu if bleeding went on for more than 14 days as they must do another scan - even if it was just a trickle. It is definitely normal in my exp for it to be a bit stop start, but thought I would mention what the hospital docs had told me. Don't be fobbed off if the bleeding is dragging on...