TTC after pregnancy loss: We're nervous, we're hopeful, we're checking all the charts and taking all the vits!

[BertieBotts]

Welcome back all and welcome new posters.

Thanks Lisa, I am aware that lots of posters here have had pregnancy losses later than that so there is even longer to wait before any sense of real possibility.

I know what you mean about anniversaries etc. We started ttc #2 in March 2014 and I was pregnant on my son's 2nd birthday in October 2014 so it has been a long round of "by Christmas/due date/other due dates/39th/40th/41st birthdays/before my sister's due date etc." I didn't celebrate my 40th at all as it was too painful. I have even thought about what I might do next April if this pregnancy doesn't work out.

Grumpy I know what you mean. DS is 8, I had him when I was 20 and I feel like I've never really had time to live so I am anxious not to be too much older when we have our second. But on the other hand it's the pull of the broodiness... argh! We have time though and you do too :)

hello
wondered if you mind another hopping onto this thread. i had a late loss last year, but now been ttc again for over year with no joy. - just got over the anniversary of the loss and funeral, (june and july) still trying but not holding out a great deal of hope now due to my age.

i got pg easily without tracking at 44 but now im tracking, using opks, apps, its not happened. i veer from throwing them a;; in the bin to ramping it up and im currently having a last ditch attempt with fertility lube! cd 11 here and a neg on the opk, (expected) didnt get a positive till cd15 last month.

BertieBotts

Thanks for that- yes I need to tread carefully now re the whole stopping smoking thing. Yes he's not ready to give up- he's never been ready the entire time I've know him/we've been together.

But the smoking thing now brings in a new dimension of TTC- he has his sperm analysis results printed out in black and white showing poor morphology (and acceptable level of motility) so he cannot deny there are things he can do to try and improve things.

I'm going to buy some vitamins for him although I will admit that I'll be furious if he just takes a couple then gives up- but obviously don't want to start off on a negative footing, but I know what he's like with taking medications, going to see the doctor etc.

I have had to nag him about going to see the GP and get his sperm tested since March- that's nearly 6 months ago...and I will admit that I'm cross that it's taken him this long to go.

Dunno about vaping but I'll emphasise to him that it's all very well getting re-tested after 3 months or whatever, but if he makes absolutely no efforts/changes it won't be that strange if the results come back the same.

My DH is funny about smoking in some ways- if we see one group of friends who we know via the gym/sports club (pretty much all non-smokers), he goes all funny if I mention smoking and he has never (to my knowledge) smoked in front of any of them.

Whereas, if we're with another group of friends (with smokers there) he will happily go outside with them in sub-zero temperatures to smoke, I even came in to find him sat there next to LO in a pram (aged about 4 months at the time) smoking away with his friends- yes I was furious.

Anyhow, it's a long old road this TTC thing and it is throwing up all sorts of issues between me and DH already. Maybe it's not a bad thing that his sperm analysis has shown problems- I hope this will motivate him to make positive changes to his health, for himself and our existing child/future children

just hopping on the new thread.

just want to add i seem to be planning my ttc around life events. Its dps 30th in November and we have something planned - fine if i am pregnant - not so good if i suddenly start miscarrying. Then there is Christmas - i dont want to miscarry again at Christmas. My first i came out of hospital 2 days before my 30th which was a week before Christmas.

Awful when that blights your journey. I guess just have to try and keep postive.

@MsJuniper
That's great news about the scan!
I have everything crossed for you, it's so hard (I imagine) but all you can do is take it one day at a time.

I'm absolutely with you on all those dates, continually coming around.

I turned 39 a last month and I remember last summer thinking- "by the time I'm 39 I'll either have a tiny baby or be heavily pregnant..."

I didn't really celebrate my birthday at all last month, just wanted to be at home and drink wine

Quite a few friends are discussing plans for our 40th next summer and to be honest I really don't want to do anything- it's too depressing if I get to my 40th and am not pregnant.

I envy some of my friends who already have their 2 or 3 children and their families are "complete" so there is no more thinking about TTC or pregnancy etc

Other friends do not want any children or have not met the right man yet.

But another part of me just thinks "fuck it" why should I hide away and miss out on a trip to New York or Las Vegas just because TTC is not working out for us?

I reckon we should book a blow out trip to Las Vegas- bet I'll be heavily pregnant by then and can't go!

@BertieBotts
Thank you for the new thread!

@MsJuniper - yay! That's great news. Know you will carry on being worried but at least that's a significant milestone out of the way.

Turquiose, Ginger I reckon book everything - that's what I've decided to do. Then sods law you'll get pregnant and have to waste loads of money for the best reason ever

Welcome, Still, and sorry you've had such a sh*tty time over the last year or so. We're a very supportive bunch and there are a few of us in our 40s so you're not alone x

I reckon we should book a blow out trip to Las Vegas- bet I'll be heavily pregnant by then and can't go!

Definitely, definitely do it! You'll either have a fab holiday or a fantastic reason not to go!

msjuniper that's amazing news! Definitely a step in the right direction. Hope it's put your mind at ease a little. Keeping everything crossed for you!

Hi vicar, I recognise your name, maybe from old ttc threads? So sorry to hear of your loss.

Did a test this morning (12dpo, maybe) but of course it was bfn. Trying to give up hope but it keeps on niggling at me 'it might have been too soon!' Gah. The pregnant after miscarriage thread came up in active so I had a nose. Vv lovely to see all the old names on there but just makes me want it even more

hi bertie - thank you and i recognise you too! i wasnt on the ttc threads until recently but was around for a long time before that, sorry you got a bfn....i just dont test anymore tbh unless af is late - i cant stand the disappointment.

Turquoise your DH sounds very much like my OH in terms of smoking! He hates if I so much as hint towards it when we're in certain company, and then when we're in others, he's out the door numerous times! He's starting to cut down now I'm pregnant again but I know if I lose this one he'll stop trying to quit again. I am aware that smoking can have impact on sperm but not too many details about it. It's been at the back of mind since the first mc. He seems to think he can kick it on his own though so let's hope they can both be rid!

Juniper, so so pleased on your positive scan - wonderful news. I understand you're not able to relax fully but it's great, as others have said, that you've passed some milestones.

I can also relate to the key dates ticking by. I still feel it now even though I have this new pregnancy. I don't mean to be ungrateful - I am over the moon and loving all the uncomfortable symptoms, I just really don't feel like it's real. Speaking to the counsellor today was helpful. She said that many women don't connect to their pregnancies, even when they're about to pop. So I guess it's good to know it's normal to feel disconnected. I'll have 12 sessions starting on Sept 6th so hoping she'll either help me through the next mc or (I can barely even type it), support me leading up and post the 12 week scan.

Lime, glad you're still about. Hoping you're able to keep busy x

MsJuniper good news on the scan and hoping it all keeps going well

I'm 5.5 weeks now, getting anxious as I had a tiny amt of spotting at 6 last time and the scan showed a foetal pole of only 2mm, so it would have stopped growing about 5 weeks I reckon. Have my booking appt with midwife Friday, when I spoke on the phone I asked her about an early scan and she suggested waiting until 8-9 weeks, but I'm not sure I can. I won't get one at the EPU anyway unless I have problems, so I'd much rather pay the £99 for one!

We're short staffed at work, one colleague has gone on mat leave and another is off sick, so I'm dreading going in tomorrow... I feel pretty crappy especially in the mornings, so am hoping thats a good sign still, and I'm eating more bread than I have done in YEARS!

Hi guys, just checking in on the new thread.

Sorry for radio silence, work has been crazy but a welcome distraction. Referred myself to the EPAU and have a dating scan booked in for next Friday as I got BFP straight after MC. Been feeling relatively positive this week for some strange reason even though I have to be less than 7 weeks (the point of MC) but got a very bloated stomach and sore boobs. No morning sickness though which, rather than being a relief, worries me a bit!

Juniper - so pleased about your scan! Great news!

Lime - keeping everything crossed for scan on Friday.

Hope, like others, that it's ok if I stay on this thread. It's less fun when you darent bare mat clothes/baby grows unless they become a painful reminder.

Still trying hope you don't mind me still tagging along x

Of course PossibiliTea, if you feel like this is the place for you we're glad to have you :) What's new with you?

HFA and PossibiliTea - of course you should both be here! As I said earlier, we are a lovely mix of TTCs and BFPs and everyone is welcome x

Big yes to pregnant posters checking in/sticking around/whatever you feel like doing but just in case you haven't seen it there is also a lovely PG after MC thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/3000878-Staying-posifrickentive-Thread-18-for-ladies-pg-after-mc

That's not meant to kick anyone out or suggest you're not welcome but more in case you hadn't already found it :) Post on both if you like!

Well it looks like I've finally got my first af now. Part of me knew it was a high posibility but god I feel really weird about it I guess it's the final stab in the heart.

Thank you Bertie ...I'll investigate the thread!
....but will still follow here as I've been following this group for a long time and feel invested in how people are getting on. Love to all!

Morning all. Thanks for the new thread! I'm still here, just a bit quiet at the moment... really happy to see so many bfps around, though. x