TTC after pregnancy loss: We're nervous, we're hopeful, we're checking all the charts and taking all the vits!

[BertieBotts]

Welcome back all and welcome new posters.

Anne here you go, this is the live link so you can stalk to your heart's content Like I said I'm taking with a pinch of salt this month as my temps have been all wonky because it's school holidays so my sleeping patterns are messed up. My DH is really broody too. His colleagues are expecting and I think he'll be gutted if we don't get pregnant before their baby is born.

www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1ea3be

Foxtrot although I'm an avid temper myself, I'm a great believer of not doing it if it's going to stress you out. For most people tracking ovulation etc isn't going to make much difference, so feel free to avoid it. If you do want to track your cycle the two most common tools to use are OPKs and temping. OPKs are better if you like to have something to pee on (it's like practising for pregnancy tests!) or if you want to know immediately when you need to DTD but they can be tricky to pin down and they don't guarantee that you're ovulating. Temping gives you a more accurate overview of your cycle but you don't get to see the pattern until afterwards which means it's only good for gaining an idea of your averages or confirming that you've definitely ovulated. Of course you can also do both.

Turquoise I think vits for DH defo a good move. And yes I think - if he can - giving up smoking is likely to have an effect on sperm quality as well. Would he consider switching to a vape? DH did a while ago to save money but actually he has felt so much healthier since getting off the actual cigarettes. He's cutting down the nicotine slowly and plans to completely drop it when I do get pregnant because I'm a bit iffy about the vapour stuff in the house with a little newborn. BTW there is a lot of bullshit online about fertility, but the smoking connection does seem to be fairly well researched and it does appear that stopping smoking or even cutting down can improve sperm morphology. I wonder if you could convince him to try cutting down for the next 2 months if his GP is happy to repeat the sperm analysis to see if it helps? And if it doesn't help he's free to take it back up again (if he even wants to at that point...)

Welcome Unicorns

MrsJ Thanks for the update! :)

Grumpy Sorry about AF.

We were thinking about IVF with PGD (That's the standard offering for translocation patients in the UK) but I don't think they allow it in Germany and I'm sort of hoping it won't come to that. But we'll see what the future holds I suppose.

Thanks for the new thread @BertieBotts

What's PGD?

Thanks for the new thread!

Grumpy, PGS/PGD is preimplantation genetic screening/diagnosis. It basically means that they check how the embryos are developing and pick the best ones. I don't know if there is a difference between the two - someone else might?

MsJuniper, I didn't have NK Cells testing through the RMC at Coventry. Dr Quenby didn't even mention it. Don't know if that's because I have a 2 year old. I was going to get it done privately and also have an endo scratch but I think I'm clutching at straws. The general consensus seems to be that my age is the biggest factor, hence the ubiquinol. Given that, I thought it was best to just crack on with ttc...

Love the new thread title, so true :)

juniper and impatient thanks for the info, will give it a whirl this month and try not to worry how much money I'm throwing at this ttc lark...

bertie thank you for doing the new thread!

turquiose I know how hard it is to give up smoking. My brother has always struggled with it. And there's nothing worse than being told to give it up when you're not ready... Perhaps cutting back or like Bertie suggested vaping instead would help and he could up his vit intake to try and balance it out for two months?

Thank you for the new thread.
I hope no one minds me sticking around. I don't feel like I belong in any of the pregnancy groups and feel so much safer here.

I called the hospital to inform them of my pregnancy and explained that my last one ended in MC at 12 weeks, hoping that I would be seen sooner or receive an early scan but no such luck.
I'm just taking each day as it comes. Some days I'm positive and genuinely just so happy and want to try and enjoy every second, and some days I'm beyond stressed, worried and convinced it'll be another MC.

Sending love to all on your continued journey to the BFP. Keeping everything crossed for you x

ForeverHopeful, please do stick around for as long as you like. I think I speak for everyone when I say we love a BFP and a pregnant lady on this thread. Quite nice that we're now a mix of TTCs and BFPs - gives the rest of us hope. Fingers, toes and everything else crossed for you x

Forever it's good to hear from you and I feel exactly the same.

Waiting for my scan now. Woke up with no sickness or dizziness and no tightness/pressure in my tummy, plus the hint of beige when I went to the loo so not feeling very confident. This has/had been the first pregnancy where I didn't have any bleeding (even with DS I had an implantation bleed and a later bleed at 8 wks).

Thank you @BertieBotts

I dunno about pgd vs pgs. It might be that pgd is when they're looking for a specific thing they have to rule out whereas pgs is more picking the most healthy looking/best stats? Either way it's a bit ethically on the fence (technically you can do sex selection this way, which I believe they do if you're at risk of carrying a sex linked condition) which might be why germany is funny about it.

Thanks for the new thread! Good luck today msjuniper - thinking of you.

Trying to remember there's probably nothing wrong with me given we conceived on cycle 3 last time (in march) and I have had a successful pregnancy before (DD is nearly 13, different dad). However it's still disheartening to roll over another month with no results. I was hoping to have a baby shortly after turning 30 at the latest. Got pregnant the month before my 31st birthday and DH bought me some beautiful petit bateau babygros Now I'll be 32 at least, even if next month works. I've had the worst of both worlds, was a teen mum and now I feel like I'm going to be an old mum too (sorry to those who are trying at 40+, I gave up my youth and freedom for DD who I love dearly, so really didn't want a 15-20 year gap to screw myself at the other end too). Hoping this holiday FW does the trick given I'm more relaxed and well rested.

It would also be nice to have the option of a second baby with DH but I guess time and money are always a trade off no matter how old you are. And if it's this hard now, not sure I can go through the stress again and again.

Just checking in. I'm still here just quietly counting down the seconds to my scan at 9 on Friday. At least I'll know then.

Like the new thread title too.

Hello! I'll read back through later, thanks so much for the new thread Bertie!

grumpy - you are, of course, right that there's almost certainly nothing wrong with you, and it's still early days, but I know how disheartening those milestones/dates ticking past are.

We started trying just over a year ago (the start of August 2016), and I do find that 'anniversary' a bit upsetting. It feels like we've been trying for a long time, although what with the pregnancies and this break it's only actually been nine cycles, and I fell pregnant on three of them. I thought last summer that I'd be pregnant or even have a baby by now - not that I'd spend a summer being prodded and tested for recurrent miscarriage (have an ultrasound on Tuesday - I really hate the dildocamera!). I also found my 30th birthday two months ago hard because I'd spent such a long time picturing myself pregnant on it. Little things like that come up all the time - I had a meeting about something annoying I've agreed to do for work in January the other day and remembered that when I agreed to do it I was pregnant and thought I'd get to fob it off on someone else because I'd be on mat leave! DH hates it if I mention 'where I'd be' and I know he wishes I'd forget the due dates, but it's hard! There have been quite a few friends' announcements for January, which reminds me that I'd be in the second trimester now with my third pregnancy and doing the announcing too, and my SIL is due ten days before my first one would have been so there's that constant reminder of what could have been.

God, that was a very long post - sorry!

Lime! There you are! Keeping everything crossed for your scan on Friday.

MsJuniper, all ok? Been thinking about you all morning. Hoping it's all gone well today x

Lisa, think we cross-posted. Totally feel your pain with passing anniversaries. Our ttc anniversary was in July, which made me really sad. Promised myself I'd be pregnant with a sticky bean before my 41st and doesn't look like that's going to happen either. It's only hopeful twatedness that keeps me going!

Thanks for the new thread

All ok here. The sonographer said straight away "it's good news, I can see the heartbeat". Measuring 7w1d which is 3 days ahead of my calculations. Next scan is 9w which will be the scariest point for me as I've had 2 mc at 9w after seeing a hb at 8w. But I'm past all my other mc dates so that's good.

I have a photo which I can share but I don't want to upset anyone.

I can also participate in a study which would involve weekly 3D scans up to 20 weeks and one (less glamorous) which would take swabs and samples to study bacteria.

Thinking of you Lime, hope Friday brings good news.

That's wonderful news, msjuniper. I know there's still a while to go before you can get past the scariest part for you, but this is a big hurdle and I hope it's made you feel a bit better. I hope the next two weeks go as quickly as they can - I know that each day feels like 100 years when you're waiting for a scan that you're scared of.

Lovely news juniper!

Forever please stay here with us if it makes you feel more comfortable. Good news on here gives us all hope xx