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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

anyone else just fucked off with this lark and want to moan?

999 replies

stillvicarinatutu · 06/08/2017 23:31

come on then.
moan away.
ill start. i m just so fucking fucked off. lost one last year at 44....i thought its a miracle!! wasnt to be but filled me with what appears to be false hope.

been trying ever since. and no. every month the same. this month as well as AF ive another surprise - a cyst. where no one ever ever wants one.
so this month will be lost. along with all dignity as i beg the hospital to lance it.

moan away. go on. you know you want to.

OP posts:
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14
SoozC · 20/10/2017 17:02

@Bubblegum89, no HSG yet. We ended up moving and getting married so things were put on the back burner. Being over 35 now the NHS won't help so we were supposed to go to a private clinic open evening last week but Ofsted got in the way, the fuckers!

justmeonly · 20/10/2017 18:06

Happy half term!

Well done in getting started on tests Just - I think I probably should go to the docs too. It just makes it so real.

Thank you everyone (especially Bubblegum) for the giggles this evening. Definitely needed.

I did eventually get a positive OKP about 5 days later than I expected. OH is away so couldn't do anything about it. Will be interesting (read: stressful) to find out if this is a longer cycle than normal or if I've been ovulating late for the whole time... aaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh

NimbleKnitter · 20/10/2017 18:24

Today is the absolute worst - not only did I get an effective bfn courtesy of my brain splitting in two - my friend had her second. Today. So I have to be all pleased for her.

And my lovely but clueless husband is wittering away about the mat-leave send off another of our friends had today, as she finishes work to have twins. And then asks why I’m being ‘all weird’ and not laughing at the hilarious baby names he came up with.

I feel like shit on toast.

Sorry. Been super negative this cycle. November will be different. Not much different. But different

juneybean · 20/10/2017 19:01

What?! The NHS won't help you if you're over 35?!?

juneybean · 20/10/2017 19:02

Oh nimble sorry you're feeling so down today :( have you got any nice tests for tonight?

juneybean · 20/10/2017 19:03

Ffs treats!!!! Sorry!

QuietTime · 20/10/2017 19:09

Loving the typos - making a grumpy Quiet smile :) on way home and feel like life balance is all wrong, so knackered.

Re SA results, ours (well DH's, obvs...) took 7-10 days.

Shouldn't you get extra/quicker help if you're over 35?! That's terrible!

nimble sorry it's been a shitstorm of TTC news - hope you can enjoy the weekend Flowers

SoozC · 20/10/2017 19:17

Well I can't have IVF in my county on NHS as I'm over 35 so if I have a HSG or anything else I'd rather do it with a private clinic in case we go for IVF in the future. It's quicker too.

Summer1986 · 20/10/2017 20:29

Sperm analysis is the next step for us, hubs is going to book in with the GP over the next couple of weeks.

Shit about the NHS in your area @Sooz I hate how it's such a postcode lottery. I've no idea what's available in my CCG, I have a friend who has had failed IVF this year and is looking to go private for her second cycle next yr as you only get one chance where she lives. I would think that pretty common.

SoozC · 20/10/2017 20:34

I think it was 1 shot where we lived before but we moved over the summer so now it's 0! But we are very fortunate that we can afford one cycle ourselves, although we're not 100% sure we want to. We're thinking about adoption too. It's getting to the point where the idea of being able to adopt a pair of siblings aged, say, 3 and 5 seems like the best option, we'd both love it. But we haven't ruled out IVF.

But we're having a last hurrah, as it were, for six months first!

QuietTime · 20/10/2017 22:45

That's harsh re NHS sooz though great you have some savings to use (just realised am not entirely sure of our options; didn't think we'd get to that stage). Used to work for a charity that runs an adoption agency - think adopting siblings is an amazing thing, so lovely you guys are open to it.

juneybean · 20/10/2017 23:01

It's so true about the post code lottery, I know of a lesbian couple who get a free shot at IUI on the NHS?! We get nothing up here.

micropig · 20/10/2017 23:06

I have some serious PMS today, poor DH! I'm being a right grump. You wouldn't believe the amount of adorable babies I've seen today too.

Really wanting to plan my next holiday with my friend, but hoping I can't go due to pregnancy or having a new baby. Beginning to think I may as well just book it.

Mrsjones17 · 21/10/2017 00:33

@mamas yes use opk and have had day 21 bloods done I am ovulating. No previous children we are TTC #1.

Today has been an interesting day in the range of emotions felt. My close work friend leaves to start maternity today. Baby due in a week. Then other work friend brought his beautiful one week old into work to meet everyone. On the one hand it was lovely. But on the other oh so tough!!

How do you broach the subject of getting sperm analysis done with DH? I feel like mine is putting it off out of fear but I don't want him to think im pressuring him into it. We have said if nothing by xmas then he will go and get tested. Is this right?

Janefx40 · 21/10/2017 07:41

@Mrsjones17 we were on a slightly quicker trajectory with the tests as we are both 40. When the GP first suggested OH got sperm test I immediately said I didn't think he would. It had taken me a while to get him on board with TTC so I figured no way he'd do tests. But I brought it up quite carefully, just said I was having a few tests as he knew and the Dr had asked if he'd be tested. I was surprised that he jumped at the chance. He didn't want us to go through disappointment of TTC only to find out later we were infertile. His GP (diff area to mine as I'm still registered at my old address) said the wait for sperm tests was 3 months but he managed to get a cancellation within about a week.

NimbleKnitter · 21/10/2017 09:13

Ive been reading Robert winston’s website and book (genesis research trust) and his view is that where infertility is unexplained (ie after having a load of tests, including a laparoscopy) - ivf is just as successful as natural conception.

IVF is really for known medical reasons, such as blocked tubes or low sperm count.

His advice is always more tests, rather than more treatment.

I’ve been putting off my laparoscopy to remove a cyst, on the basis that we’d lose cycles and possibly create scar tissue. But maybe I need to go back and ask then to poke about whilst they’re in there.

Maybe get DH to jizz in a cup first - sounds much easier than anything we have to go through

Mrsjones17 · 21/10/2017 15:42

I know I get 13 weeks holiday a year and I know people think teachers finish at 3 but I'm nackered and wish I was breaking for half term. Ofsted has killed me off! Worked over 60 hours this week and feel like I can't remember my own name! All of that coupled with just feeling like this month TTC is a write off with the one shot wonder just makes me feel like shit.

Wonder if the investigation process will be different with DH being under military medical care or would it work same as NHS? I'm thinking of getting one of those home analysis kits anyone ever used one?

Janefx40 · 21/10/2017 16:39

Hi @Mrsjones17 sorry about being knackered. Not sure I know anything about military care and never tried home testing. If Dr will do it quickly, I'd assume that's a better option - if you're told it's a long wait then home testing seems sensible.

DP had a bit of a meltdown today. It's hard on him too all this trying and failing. I feel like I wanted our baby to bring him happiness but instead it's just making him sad. I feel guilty. It was me who persuaded him to try in the first place. Ugh! I feel pms free this month which is a blessing but feeling AF approach (cramps getting stronger and spotting appearing) is still damn upsetting.

Hating this today :(

Summer1986 · 21/10/2017 16:55

I'd avoid home testing like the plague, I don't think the technology is particularly advanced and I think a false result would cause more upset, if it showed an issue you would need proper testing anyway.
Hubby is a lab scientist, if home testing was a reliable option I'm sure he would take that option rather than hand over his sample to people working in the same building as him! The kits you can buy on amazon/boots have mixed reviews....

No idea about military healthcare sorry, does he have a regular GP Or just military docs?

Summer1986 · 21/10/2017 16:55

I'd avoid home testing like the plague, I don't think the technology is particularly advanced and I think a false result would cause more upset, if it showed an issue you would need proper testing anyway.
Hubby is a lab scientist, if home testing was a reliable option I'm sure he would take that option rather than hand over his sample to people working in the same building as him! The kits you can buy on amazon/boots have mixed reviews....

No idea about military healthcare sorry, does he have a regular GP Or just military docs?

Summer1986 · 21/10/2017 16:56

Sorry for the double post, can't seem to remove one eitherConfused

SoozC · 21/10/2017 17:19

@Mrsjones17, you got through it though, well done! But I know what you mean. Are you not on half-term this week? Hopefully you can get some r&r anyway over the weekend.

@Janefx40, sorry to hear DH is feeling it hard right now. Same for me; years to convince DH to try and now he's almost more keen than I. I don't know what to suggest so just sending you virtual hugs. Propping each other up in a relationship when ttc is really hard.

Janefx40 · 21/10/2017 18:30

Thanks @SoozC the kind words and virtual hugs genuinely help!

Janefx40 · 21/10/2017 19:10

@SoozC assume no sign of AF still? Fingers crossed for you xxx

SoozC · 21/10/2017 19:55

You're welcome, Jane, we all know how it is! No sign today, testing tomorrow!