anyone else just fucked off with this lark and want to moan?

[stillvicarinatutu]

come on then.
moan away.
ill start. i m just so fucking fucked off. lost one last year at 44....i thought its a miracle!! wasnt to be but filled me with what appears to be false hope.

been trying ever since. and no. every month the same. this month as well as AF ive another surprise - a cyst. where no one ever ever wants one.
so this month will be lost. along with all dignity as i beg the hospital to lance it.

moan away. go on. you know you want to.

However in more upbeat news, at least the rest of my office are not of the sort to gawp over babies. We're all dog people, so whip out a dog photo and everyone awws!

I'm amazed at how intensely mind consuming TTC is? I know that sounds stupid, but we went for the 'we will just have fun etc to start with' and now all I'm thinking is why aren't I pregnant yet.
Also, if the girl at work tells me about how many times she's been pregnant ONE MORE TIME. I'm not responsible for my actions.
Continued good luck to everyone!

Vivienne the bbq sounds like a nightmare. Is your DP bothered about being infertile / would he like children? PS. I'm always dreaming about having a baby! What a kick in the teeth that is!

ChrisPratt we did the same ...12 months of 'if it happens it happens' to 27 months of monitoring, charting, life-consuming hell. As I write this I'm also opening another tab to countdowntopregnancy.com

Good grief I just want to get pregnant ...and manage to keep it ...and have a baby at the end of it. Is that too much to ask!!!

ForeverHopeful21 he means well. He's devastated about the lack of kids in our future, and honestly intended it to be a nice conversation to join in on. He has a tendency to be insensitive through lack of thinking.

Hope you get a sticky BFP soon!!

Can i join in?
So i was one of the accidentals, not once did i moan though because i was told itd take a while to ovulate and even longer to conceive.. 3 weeks later, i was pregnant (didnt know until half way through due to waiting for this prolonged period). It really was a miracle and my ds is almost 2.
So this time, weve been trying for 7 months and with my cycles varying from 33-60 days i have no idea whats going on. Periods can last from 7-15 days and all old blood.. being referred to a gynaecologist. Yayy!

Sick of being asked "so when are you having a sibling for your boy" or "you need to have another, cant just have the one"

:(

I want to rant so badly I may scream.

The arsehole fairies really have done a number on me. Had a MMC at 10 weeks in February and since my cycles have been 25 days long with spotting on CD24-25. I was expecting it yesterday, I really was. (I still don't know when the fuck I ovulate because I'm so broken) and so when I started spotting I just broke the dam. I sobbed like a baby into DHs chest and didn't stop.

My due date is sept 4th. Guess when AF is due next. Yep. Arsehole fairies thought I wouldn't be having a shit enough day that AF will help too - I just know I won't be pregnant. Why am I so fucking broken??

Bucket loads of baby dust to everyone!

I think I'll join in and have a needed rant!
Ttc for 20 months, 4 chemical pregnancies, living cycle to cycle and it's god damn draining
I swear in this time a million people/friend/friends of friends/family have had a baby or become pregnant 😭

I think this is the thread I've been looking for! I am so pissed off with the whole universe and anyone who is pregnant right now. I have one DD (took 3 years to conceive) and by a miracle got PG again after 'only' a year TTC...only to miscarry the baby due on my birthday after we'd made certain huge changes (e.g. to DP's job, rented new house as tenancy up etc) based on our (apparently entirely unreasonable) expectation that a BFP meant we were having a baby. I am sure TTC was worse last time round, but a special pain this time is that basically everyone I know has a small child age approx the same as mine and therefore are all getting pregnant again. Some of them already have babies age 6 months now. I will utterly lose my shit if I get a 3rd pregnancy announcement (definitely batting out of order to do that!) and I am still flapping around in this mess of sadness and rage and despair. I am being fairly horrible in that I am cutting a lot of people out of my life / hiding on FB / ignoring WhatsApp etc if they are pg/etc but I can't get rid of all of them or I will have literally no one to talk to. I just need one space where no one is talking about their fucking smug fertility! And also, if I'm wishing for things I can't have, for the fucking prats and 'accidental' people to (a) shut up and (b) stop getting knocked up so easily. I know it's envy / jealousy, with a side helping of rage / grief. I would love to be a fucking smug person asking if my bump looks fat in soft focus pictures in a meadow (#blessed) (#fuckoff). I have absolutely no clue what to do with that diagnosis however.

And breath.

Thank you for the space to write that, even if no one reads it! I've read all the above and have 0 helpful comments unfortunately. I wish you all the luck in the world - and if you can't get the best news, I hope you get some good news, or at least cake. Or gin.

Since I last posted this thread seems to have took a turn but I totally get it and sympathise with all of you. As horrible as it is, this threads made me feel less alone. op Thank you for setting this up

youre very welcome shar and everyone else.
i dont think ill be ttc anymore. i have 6 stitches in my vagina and its all gone so very wrong. at 45 i think this is my queue to desist. please do use the thread though for any general moans. good luck to all who continue to try.

Im so glad that this page was posted.
I literally sobbed yesterday on hubbys shoulder.. everyone i know is pregnant again and im struggling to work out when my periods will regulate!
A girl i have known for years is pregnant with her 4th, just like that. Moaning she didnt want another and didnt mean for it to happen.. that she cant cope with the 3 she has already.
My mum sending me pictures of my sisters new born.
Im utterly devastated. Still trying to stay hopeful that i will miraculously get pregnant before this gynaecology appointment and i wont need medication to help (looking more and more unlikely as time goes on) x

Thank you for making this thread.

I am so fed up with ttc!!!!!!!!!!!!

This has really helped me today after another shit morning with AF arriving. Thank you all for sharing!

I fucking love this thread.

I have been trying for 2.5years first BFP. In that time there's been accidents, illness, close family becoming extremely, bitches with nothing better to do, lovely couples TTC just as hard then turning all smug with 'omg, you're still trying', hospitals saying you're too fat (no drinking or smoking yet a few stone overweight), fucking starving, fucking pregnancy testing like an addict, fucking yoga, fucking listening to all the good but mainly shit advice, popping folic acid like I know what I'm doing, generally not allowed full results until my appointment ON FUCKING HALLOWEEN but I get 'it all seems normal, don't worry', trying to find the most comfortable upside down position but failing and looking like clumsy fucking panda rolling about the bed trying to keep 'it' in... dirty fucking thirties... or twenties or forties, whatever you are, I fucking understand!!!!!

Will I keep trying? Yes, it's my fucking dream and someone I love more than life is seriously ill, they're hoping I get a BFP more so at times!

But God... I feel fucking hopeless!!!

I wish on an island, with a cocktail, a cigarette and watching my OH trying swim, the plank! Ha ha!

Fuck AF. And spots. And healthy lifestyle. And my fucking chocolate ban.

Was that too much??

rolling about the bed trying to keep 'it' in yep I am so fucking fed up of listening to dh sleeping whilst I'm lying in some fucking yoga pose trying to keep 'it' in.

DH went out last night and I fell victim to google whilst sitting in on my own (think 'how many couples take more than 6 months to fall preg....') I literally cannot be trusted to be left alone!

Like a saddo sat in tears here now
Glad this thread is here. A friend has just text saying she is pregnant, so happy for her but it's not fair. 6 months ago her and her husband didn't even know if they wanted children, obviously changed their mind and click of fingers it's happens, I'm so upset I just feel awful, then I feel even worse that it's so happy for her and I an currently resenting her and I shouldn't, it's amazing for her. I hate this. I haven't replied and wish the text chat with her and our friends would stop popping up.

Ahh

Hellybelly, I've turned off notifications in a group chat for a surprise baby shower for a truly lovely girl but I can't listen to it. As the last one not to have kids, I try pretend to Bridget Jones, I'll text the standard 'congrats' text then think about the 'Chaka khan' part of Bridget! It makes me cry too. This girl, lovely, she tried for a year and used the ovulation detector and she told me about how they used it the month she conceived... couldn't tell her I've been using it for 8 months!

Just text then switch off notifications!!!

X

I have 2 dc, conceived easily years ago with my [s]twat[/s] of an ex. But I'm eternally grateful for them.

Now I've married a wonderful man, he's so wonderful to my children and me. We're so very ready for a baby.

15 months of trying and nothing has happened so far, not one positive test. Tests showed at first a morphology of 0.5% for him (other counts great) so we were sent on our way for more tests and possibly IVF.
Then subsequent tests showed morphology of 3% and consultant assured us we'd get pregnant in the next few months but we could still carry on with IVF in a few months if needs be.

I know I should be hopeful, I'm definitely grateful for what we already have. But it's just the constant BFNs that are getting me down especially after the consultant giving us what I feel is false hope, the increasing realisation that it may not happen for us without IVF.

Everyone is pregnant around us, in fact most have had their babies now. I just feel so frustrated and angry with everything.

I've been feeling really sorry for myself so grateful to have a place to moan! Here goes...

Ttc for 2.5 years. First IVF - BFN on my BIRTHDAY. Second IVF - BFP yay...except not bc I mc at 6 weeks. And I can't even do that properly bc the tissue isn't going on it's own (likely it was ectopic) so 8 weeks later I'm still having to go in for blood tests/monitoring and will probably need medical management..which will postpone next ivf.

Even worse my ds who got married in MAY called to tell me she was pregnant a week after I found out I was miscarrying. It was her first month trying.

I can't get pregnant. I can't stay pregnant.!i can't even miscarry properly. I'm fucking fed up, broke, and currently engaging in what I'm sure is some form of emotional self harm by binge watching one born every minute. I just want to cry.

I meant dsis not ds!

Bastard period is here. Cue two days of trying to sit up straight and not touch my boobs on anything. Owww.

FFS.

This ttc lark is soul destroying isn't it? I'm on cycle 11 ttc my second. DD took 16 months/10 cycles, but then I'd been diagnosed with hypothyroidism, which is now being well managed with levothyroxine, so I hoped this time round would be slightly easier, but it appears not. I did have a very brief CP in May, so something seems to be working- still frustrating though. I just want to be the right side of the statistics for once!!!

ive no idea what cycle im on anymore. its been over a year.

ive ordered some conceive plus. ive got about a week to try and get my fanjo into working order. im hoping the stitches will have dissovled by then. or something.
ive no idea who im trying to kid anymore. im 45 ffs.