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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

anyone else just fucked off with this lark and want to moan?

999 replies

stillvicarinatutu · 06/08/2017 23:31

come on then.
moan away.
ill start. i m just so fucking fucked off. lost one last year at 44....i thought its a miracle!! wasnt to be but filled me with what appears to be false hope.

been trying ever since. and no. every month the same. this month as well as AF ive another surprise - a cyst. where no one ever ever wants one.
so this month will be lost. along with all dignity as i beg the hospital to lance it.

moan away. go on. you know you want to.

OP posts:
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Mrsjones17 · 04/10/2017 12:15

Hahah love the name of the retreat. I've just nearly spat drink everywhere laughing!

I know I've got the potential to become bitter and twisted so moaning about it on here is a good outlet! Poor DH got into bed last night as was like 'do you think it's me?!' although it might be there is no way way I'm sending him off on deployment with those thoughts! We can look into it when he comes back. To be fair it could be either of us.

No more reading 'is this a line' posts! Haha!

QuietTime · 04/10/2017 12:27

It's been a while since I posted here, but just wanted to say the last couple of pages have been glorious - ladies, I salute you :)

Hugs to anyone feeling blue and please add my name to the weekender. My family's started giving me pitying looks now - ARGH.

Lines, fertile fuckers, tips on relaxing - they can all do one. As can the helpful MN prompts on my mobile (here's how to chart!).

Strength and alcohol to all!

LimpLettice · 04/10/2017 12:37

We could set up loads of attractions, like a festival. Stick the Needle in the Acupuncturist, the Tent of 1000 Pee Sticks and a supplement sniffer dog. Ha.

I got that bloody prompt too. As if I need another way to obsess!

FFs. I don't really hate fertile or pregnant people. I just need somewhere to let off steam so the evil bitter bitch stays out of real life. It really helps.

gonnabreakmyrustycage · 04/10/2017 12:41

Dh told his mum we were going to try, about a year ago. This is the woman who bitched about her sisters being shit at getting pregnant and bragged about how she's the only one in her family who's good at making amazing babies.
I could have killed him. Now I don't ever want to see the ILs.
I'd totally go to this retreat if it doesn't clash with my fertile days !!

Justwaitingforaline · 04/10/2017 12:53

I’ll get looking on air B n B for us all this evening - we could play pin the sperm on the egg and all drunkenly sob about how shit we are at it in RL.

We’re looking at the Maldives or Bali I think, totally child inappropriate and Home of many, many cocktails. I found a really good book on Kindle recently about TTC and it’s so funny and true to life - she even describes people as smug fertility goddesses and writes a chapter dedicated to how shit they are.

Steaksauce · 04/10/2017 13:00

I'm up for the retreat! Especially if there's wine involved.
When AF turned up on Sunday I boshed a bottle of red. Good job I wasn't in the office on Monday. Felt rough as.

Steaksauce · 04/10/2017 13:06

I also feel slightly guilty as dh has devised a healthy eating menu for us but was so pissed off this morning that I went and bought a twix and a bag of hula hoops.

Oops.

juneybean · 04/10/2017 16:41

I need that book just sounds fantastic

Loving the idea of a festival, creased at these posts.

My acupuncturist with if I'd considered seeing a dietician... I'm hoping she meant for fertility foods rather than I'm a fat fucker.

WhiskyChick · 04/10/2017 16:55

Hoping I'm allowed to join. Myself and my partner decided the time was right to quit both control and see what happens. We've been enthusiastically practicing for a couple of years. But he's now had to move away and I was so bloody cross when AF turned up just want my chance Sad

Mrsjones17 · 04/10/2017 18:14

Do you reckon you would get sacked if you smashed a colleagues face in?? Said colleague got married same time as me, started working at same time and is similar age. Said today 'so no babies for you yet then?!' whilst rubbing her very pregnant tummy. What the actual fuck????

Janefx40 · 04/10/2017 18:16

Amazing posts today gals. Just catching up and been laughing out loud on the train and getting strange looks.

I'm on for the retreat - especially loving the sound of the "stick the pin in the acupuncturist" activity.

Welcome @WhiskyChick !

juneybean · 04/10/2017 18:17

I work in HR and I would categorically back you in this, fertile colleague would be clearly asking for a smacking.

Janefx40 · 04/10/2017 18:18

@Mrsjones17 omg! That has to be the most extreme insensitivity ever! What a knob. One thing is for sure - we will never be that insensitive or cruel even if we do get our BFPs!

Mrsjones17 · 04/10/2017 18:27

@juney can I put u down for legal aid?! Haha

@jane yes that very true it's certainly opened up my eyes.

I have to admit I was so taken a back I didn't know what to say. Normally I'm pretty good at sarcastic replies. Was just totally dumbfounded that she thought this was ok to say!

juneybean · 04/10/2017 18:34

I truly think people who haven't struggled just don't get it and don't engage their brain and kind of think "you should totally try this baby making thing" as if we've never thought to try in our lives.

LimpLettice · 04/10/2017 18:48

MrsJones 'Oh, god, no! We never understand these people who feel the need to rush their next big thing! Married life is too wonderful to worry about filling any gaps just yet!' Or similar 😂

Steaksauce · 04/10/2017 19:55

@Mrsjones17 that's awful! Who says that?! Fucks sake.
See Id be really bitchy and say something like "nah, I don't want a saggy fanny and gross stretch marks all over the place, and did you know the average child costs £100k over their lifetime.
I've just booked a 5 star holiday to the Maldives....not planning any holidays anytime soon then? -smug face-" to said colleague.

Sorry not sorry

hellybellyjellybean · 04/10/2017 20:17

She's sounds like a complete dick @Mrsjones17

Mrsjones17 · 04/10/2017 22:53

Got it in one @hellybelly

SoozC · 05/10/2017 07:38

I really hate it when people comment about having kids. Infertility is a medical issue and just assuming everyone can have children is as dick-headed insensitive as they come.

My family is huge and they all seem to pop kids out like rabbits. Big family holiday next July, I got married this summer so I can just imagine if I'm not preggers by then how many comments there'll be about it. Plus I'll have to be surrounded by my cousins and all their children to remind me how I don't have any. It'll be 30 months of trying then, I'll be type for smacking people in the face if they say anything.

SoozC · 05/10/2017 07:38

*ripe for smacking them I mean!

Steaksauce · 05/10/2017 07:51

It's a pet hate of mine @SoozC. Firstly, men never get asked questions about when they're going to have babies which annoys me as there's still this assumption that women aren't complete beings until they've popped out a baby and it's their purpose in life.

And secondly it's nosy and rude.
If people I ask me (and I'm in the right mood which is pretty rare) I respond with "are you asking me if I'm having unprotected sex with my husband?"
It normally makes them uncomfortable enough to not ask again.

juneybean · 05/10/2017 14:12

omg this thread ->
fuck the fuck off and fuck off some more

gonnabreakmyrustycage · 05/10/2017 14:36

If she turns out to be pregnant I'll just give up on life completely @juneybean

Stuck at home with a flat tyre on my day off. Was planning on going shopping to cheer myself up. FML

Steaksauce · 05/10/2017 14:47

Oh the poor lamb. How worrying that must be for her Hmm