SQUARE ONE'RS TO GRADUATES! Morale & energy is low, but we will not be beaten, BFPs WILL be achieved in this here thread!

[Tee4me]

Roll call:

Tee4me: 34 years old
TTC: #2 since December 2015
DC: DS nearly 5 years old
x2 early MCs
Diagnosed with high level of activated NK cells with positive result for Antinuclear Antibodies plus Hypothyroidism.
About to embark on 1st cycle with medication (from ovulation).
CD7 and gearing up for FW!

Welcoming original square-oner's and any newbies battling along and in need some support x

Aww ladies it's heartbreaking reading all this. It's exhausting for you all, these painful emotions, trials and heartache I really do feel for you all. Feel like my last 2 years were just a waste of time not alone the expense and now to be told that's it I'm a dried up prune. Totally rubbish.. but like Tee I have to be thankful for what I do have. Concentrating on my marriage at the mo, hoping for that miracle.
I couldn't leave the thread as we all have supported each other for sooo long and you are all my friends now.

Tee I'm so sorry hon, I hope you are not in any pain and have plenty of nice friends / family close by to help you recover. You sound strong but you must be crumbling inside. Look after yourself xx

Kate I totally see it, really wish I could click my fingers for you. Well done for being honest. Unfortunately some people will take offence but we have been with you on this road for two years so totally understand. You have done amazing to stay sane with everything, we all have, to be fair. We all want that finish line and when we all so desperate it's hard to be pleased for others. I get it, deep down we are really but we are all so desperate.Recently my sister just had twins and hasn't stopped moaning how she only wanted one.. I wanted to scream at her. It's so hard, Emotions all over the place. Go easy on yourself, and big hug. We will always be here for you..
Hope Dh is there to support you too and provide some comfort. I know some men are not very good at compassion! (No offence to anyone).
Mine is useless! I have no words of wisdom but always here if u want to rant.

Russ - glad your daughter is doing well and wish you well. Sorry to hear about your recent bfn x

Apologies to any new comers.. it's not really a thread of good news at the moment and we only really just support each other through this painful journey. Wish you all the best in your individual journeys. I'm sure two years of testimonies tears and joy will provide advice and tips and all what we have been through.

Hi to Mimi too and Jam if she's still around x

And af is here. She's hurting like a beast too!!! So I guess ivf it is? Still need my paperwork appointment... if cycles go back to longer without clomid it means we have five weeks to sort paperwork, funding and meds. Unlikely? I think so... so I'm guessing more like the following cycle: 9 or 10 weeks.

Still reading and keeping in the loop thinking of you all as I so wish you all get the outcome you want and deserve.
I understand the heartache of trying for your first and others are now on to their second. It definitely will hurt deep down and it’s only natural of course.

It’s so difficult because stress makes it even harder to conceive but ttc is stressful so it’s just a massive circle

Sending all my love, hugs and wishes for BFPs all round xxx

Kate sorry about AF!
CD17 here and still flashey face. That’s seven days in the row! What the hell! I hope it doesn’t affect AF as we got our IUI scheduled at the end of this month. Hate the unknown!

Oh dear Russ! I guess try and relax? Baths? Maybe have a massage or go for an acupuncture session to chill out?

I reckon I'll start my acupuncture sessions after next af or my paperwork appointment.

Hi Radders! Yes it is incredibly painful on a personal level, but also really exciting on a more objective level! Exciting for people who actually have a chance of making it happen... Hope you are well... long time no see!

how are you doing @Tee4me. thinking of you and hope you are taking care of yourself .glad no intervention is needed but still sending you all the love and hugs in the world. upwards and onwards indeed, but it sure ain't easy! !!!!!!

oh so sorry @physicskate for the stupid witch. hope you are okay lovely and you will be first time lucky with ivf. who would have thought that we would be at it for years. how is the break from work going?

so lovely to hear from you @radders.how is your ds? must be all grown up now.

hie @Russkispy, hope you finally got a static smiley by now. so sorry for the failed iui last month hun. hope you get lucky this cycle before your next iui. how is your lo doing?

hie there @footy1.how are you and oh? it is rather hard seeing babies when you desperately want one yourself. worse the mom doesn't seem appreciate the blessing. still believe that one day we will all graduate. even though miracles.

hie @Russkispy, hope you finally got a static smiley by now. so sorry for the failed iui last month hun. hope you get lucky this cycle before your next iui. how is your lo doing?

hie there @footy1.how are you and oh? it is rather hard seeing babies when you desperately want one yourself. worse the mom doesn't seem appreciate the blessing. still believe that one day we will all graduate. even though miracles.

Thank you ladies, finally got my static smiley face! That’s day 9 of it! Never never had it before! But so glad to see it and things work properly after endo scratching! Now hopefully AF arrives in time as flights are booked to go home for IUI. My LO is good and 10 months tomorrow!

oh @russ, the baby is so adorable and all grown

Thank you Mimi!
I do wonder if I get AF late because of late ovulation (CD19-CD29)? My cycles are usually around 27-29 days.

CD19-CD20 rather!

We have our consent appointment 26th of April. Not sure if we will start with next af towards the beginning of may (no idea what cycle will do post clomid). If we miss that one it should be mid June? Two weeks of injections, then collection and then hopefully transfer. I could be pregnant by June or July. But probably won't be... trying to keep expectations low!!!

wishing you all the luck in the world @physicskate. please keep positive and really excited for you hun. lts nice to know you are doing something.
af got me again
how are you tee?

@physicskate I can totally understand the self preservation, but this really could be it for you!! 🙏🏻

@Russkispy your LO is gorgeous!!!
@Mimilicious013 I'm good thank you. Bleeding finally wrapping up and I'm opk'ing already! Got my first BFN yesterday, so weird to be pleased to see a BFN 🤯 Sorry AF got you 👎🏻 xx

@Russkispy your LO is gorgeous!!!
@Mimilicious013 I'm good thank you. Bleeding finally wrapping up and I'm opk'ing already! Got my first BFN yesterday, so weird to be pleased to see a BFN 🤯 Sorry AF got you 👎🏻 xx

Tee I'm passing your message on. I'm thinking about what could go right, but not much. It feels a bit out of my control so, for the moment I am a bit detached...

and everyone else gets upduffed í½í¸­í½í¸­

celebrated my 42nd birthday yesterday and AF is heading my way. More likely tomorrow as spotting today. Heading home for IUI end of next week. Got my Clomid and supporting meds to take prior the procedure and then we’re good to go 😉😉
How’s everyone else doing?

Had a positive opk today at cd 13. Earliest I've ever had a positive. Looks to me like a week won't be time to get blood results and then start ivf cycle a week after my consent appointment

Hi anyone left!!

Had the most busy day today. Had my ivf consent appointment and they said we could crack on when af arrives (short protocol). But looking at a calendar, that might not work cause it's due Friday (fingers and toes crossed it's early or late) and next weekend is a bank holiday and they don't scan at weekends!!! So we might have to wait a cycle (I've waited so many, what's one more?).

The other reason to delay is because I got them to test my tsh and it was 3.8, so now taking levothyroxine and want it to get below 2!! They made a big song and dance that it's fine but they're only treating because of ttc... they won't retest... it's fine... etc... so still very little support with thyroid.

Then we were sent for bloods for all the diseases ever. Bit worried as I've had hepatitis vaccines, so not sure if that will make something flag up...

So more tests and things done today than in the past two years!!

But enough about me...

Love you guys. Miss you...

Hope you had a good birthday Russ and your little one is gorgeous and growing up fast

Hey Kate, sounds an awful lot of tests but good that you are getting it all done in one go. Think wise to wait a month if you have all that going on.. like u say.. what's another month. Least u can plan.. eat well etc..
Met this lady from my church and she's use to work in a fertility clinic in NZ. She studied cells and mucus! (What a job eh)
Anyways.. she was telling me how cells can react when under stress, infections, autoimmune and thyroid probs. You can repair cells yourselves by eating the right vitamins. From what I can remember from our chat zinc, magnesium, potassium all scream out. How what u eat and how you feel all change your cells and mucus. Got me on Google.. quite interesting stuff. Keep going kate x

Hey everyone else, hope all ok with you.
How you doing tee? Cycle back to normal?

Hey girls!
@physicskate you're SO close now, what's another month to get everything totally in line?! This could nearly be it for you! 🤞🏻
@Footy1 yes that's a funny old job!! 😆 I started drinking Shakeology for breakfast in Feb (anyone who knows about the beachbody brand should have heard about this), it's a nutritionally dense meal replacement shake. I'm convinced it helped me fall in February/March cycle. I also started on Iodine drops, so possibly another contributor!

I'm not sure if I ovulated this cycle as my opk was never a convincing positive. It got pretty dark last Friday, but I don't think quite as dark as the control line, then they faded off over the following days. Could have been a quick surge and I just missed the peak, or my ovary failed to release the egg 🤷🏼‍♀️
AF due next weekend, so hopefully things will get back on track. Might look at IVF in the Summer x