Anyone ttc baby #2 in July?

[Impatientmummy36]

Hi all,
Anyone ttc number 2?!

I know lots of you are so I thought I'd see if anyone in same boat wants to chat on a new thread?!

I chat to some lovely ladies on the monthly ttc buses....I know some are ttc their first baby (some with real difficulties like MC, or just for a long time) and I feel so bad to be worrying about conceiving #2 when I already have a lovely little one tucked up in his bed upstairs, when I'm sure they'd love to be in that position. (Not that they'd ever say anything or show any resentment, as they're all lovely and just as supportive whether people are trying for 1st or 5th!!!)

It is a bit different though, different emotions... grateful for what you have but longing to be a mummy again... and different challenges (trying to fit in dtd when you have a little person sabotaging your efforts and popping up to demand a drink/teddy/phantom tummy ache, I swear he has a radar for it!)

So I just wondered if anyone wanted to chat who's in same boat ttc #2, as it can also be hard when you desperately want to have another baby, to give your others a sibling, and it's seemingly not happening...

I'm ttc#2 (ds just turned 3)
Age 36
Cycle 5 (af just ending). Feeling disappointed but hopeful ...

Good luck all ttc whatever number you're on!

X

Mynameis and Jack.. Hope both your appointments go okay.

Jack, I agree though that it could just be your cycles adjusting after the pill? Try not to worry too much about light/short periods just yet.. Mine were the same coming off the pill to TTC #1.. They only lasted around 2/3 days and only one day was 'heavy' (though nowhere near as heavy as before the pill!).. The other day(s) were really just light spotting. They were like this the entire time it took to conceive DD and I did also worry about thin lining.. Though when we went to GP for initial tests (the month we conceived!), she didn't think it was anything to worry about. Your lining thickness does change throughout the month and probably would be different anyway on the pill as it prevents pregnancy?

Impatientmummy.. Oh, I totally understand! Am not at that point yet as only cycle one but I remember all too well the crushing disappointment each month. It's probably actually worse to remain positive in a way as I was awful for symptom-spotting and giving myself false hope and then was even more disappointed when it came to nothing.. Note to self: Implantation bleeding is never implantation bleeding I can't remember if you've said but did it take long to conceive your first?

Just reading back.. Jack, I also had an EMCS after a three-day labour. Despite regular (and very painful! DD was back to back) contractions, the midwife breaking my waters and being put on the drip, I still only got to about 6/7cm by which point DD was in such distress that they whipped her out. Am undecided about ELCS versus VBAC.. What makes you lean towards VBAC? The consultant also insinuated at one point that she was too big for my pelvis (she was 8lbs 8oz and I'm only 5'4 and size 8-10) so I don't know whether that was also a factor.

Other than Spnfan is anyone else tracking their heart rate each cycle using a Fitbit. I've tracked two cycles so far and they've both been completely different. Last month, I had a huge increase in bpm a couple of days after ov, but this month there's been no increase at all (hence why I reckon this cycle has been anovulatory)... I'm struggling to know what a normal cycle looks like, and also what to expect if I did get upduffed... Any advice welcome...

Hi silversun was pregnant within first month of coming of the pill last time, wasn't even tracking ovulation or anything I was totally clueless. This time armed with opks, supplements, and having read every book on Amazon on the topic it's not working!!! Must be my ageing eggs?!

Re the ECS vs Vbac, I had to have a section first time because he was breach. I really didn't want one then and didn't have a choice, but this time I'm pretty sure I'll be wanting a Cs again. Trying not to think that far ahead! Not looking fwd to the whole debate over how to give birth again (with everyone making you feel like a monster if you suggest you may want more than a hot water bottle and calming music as pain relief!) X

Welcome to the newcomers!

That's really interesting Cariad I haven't tracked mine, but I may do so now. No advice though, sorry.

AF has just finished today, so back to trying again.

Cariad I've only tracked for two months but so far I get a small peak at ovulation and then a massive peak for AF... It's interesting if nothing else! I've attached last month if you're interested!

I'm sorry to hear about your losses.

Spnfan - This was the first month I tracked (last cycle) which looks very much like yours...

Spnfan - This is my current cycle which I'm pretty sure is anovulatory (I will find out definitively on 10 July as I will get the result of my progesterone test taken this cycle then)

Impatientmummy... I think I'm more leaning towards an ELCS but as you say, a long way off and definitely need more info before I make a decision! Ha ha.. On one of my unsuccessful visits to the birth centre where I was still only 2-3cm despite having minute long contractions every 4-5 minutes they sent me away with aromatherapy oil!

That's really interesting re: heart rate.. Is it meant to stay high if you've conceived?

Hello! Would like to join please

Just read through all the posts... that took a long time! Lots to comment on and many interesting stories and I will add more on that later, but as a start it's good to know there are lots of people in a similar situation and I am not alone. Don't feel I can talk to anyone properly in real life about this, and it is getting me down.....

My details:
TTC #2, DS 21 months
Cycle 5
Age 37

Took 9 months to conceive my first, so not necessarily an easy ride - all the gruelling disappointment each month - and I was 3 years younger then! Feel like time is not on my side.

Use fertility friend to track cycle, as I did last time, and everything seems ok. I ovulate every month, though the date can change by up to 5 days.... lp is usually 12 days. Cycle length usually 29 days. Our timing for bd has been impeccable for 3 of the 4 months so far, but still no luck....I know it will take time, and many have taken much longer, but still can't help being impatient!!

Need some PMA and encouragement.... (and probably to stop being selfish and obsessing!) and I will offer lots back in return! I have started running and given up caffeine as a start, but still eating crap...that's my next thing to work on...!

Well, sorry this got so long, hope to chat soon,

Lopey xxx

Hi Lopey and other newbies!
Good luck to you!
It's good to see some other mums of 37 on here I'm terrified I've left it too late due to circumstances outside of my control. Fingers crossed for all of us.
It's so disheartening isn't it? I'm on cycle six now... Starting to lose faith! I've had some really short cycles though so hoping for a decent length one now.
On CD 5 I think now so a while to go yet.
What cycle day are you Lopey?

P.s. also I've had to STOP running :-( as I thought it might be the running that was affecting my super short luteal phase. I miss it...

Hi Hazel! CD 3 for me today....period came like clockwork on Sunday... always the most depressing day. Yes, it is all very disheartening. Seems my life can be mapped out in monthly cycles at the moment of: a week of depression; a week of renewed faith (just about!); then two weeks of hope mixed with increasing crazy (!!)....until the final crash of disappointment again and back to depression...! Oh dear.

A good place to look if you're worried about being "older" is anything written by Jean Twenge...she wrote "The Impatient Women's Guide to Getting Pregnant", amongst other things. It balances all the stuff about being over 35 and having left it too late, and usually makes me feel a bit better....

I should prob not run as I still have a prolapse from my first birth (v. difficult delivery with forceps and ventouse; baby's shoulder got stuck....long and harrowing story, as they all are...!) which is not ideal for running, but I just love it, and tbh I really need it for my mental health...

Oh and I second the stuff said about short luteal phase and vit b6 and vitex/Agnus castus: I take both and my lp went from 10-11 (this was before first baby) to mostly 12 these days. Not sure if coincidence but I thought I would try at the time and it seems ok for me... May as well try anything!!!

Soildering on for the next cycle now...let's call it lucky July!

Omg you've just described my month exactly!
Will look into that author, thanks!

I must be the oldest one on here at 38! My cycle has been all over the place this month but I think I'm on DPO3 and CD19.

I actually find the TWW easier to deal with than waiting to ovulate! ( I may not be saying that in a weeks time though)

Welcome Lopey. Your monthly rollercoaster sounds just like mine.

I can't emphasise enough how grateful I am to have found this thread. It's so reassuring to be surrounded by others who "get it."

I also need to tackle diet; carving out time for myself and exercise. I found sticking to a healthy diet really easy in the early months, but 7 months in and I feel I spent a good week of every month comfort eating to ease the disappointment.

I've spent much of this evening on the verge of tears, feeling ridiculously bloated, eagerly anticipating AF at any time tomorrow.... I honestly wouldn't wish long term ttc on my worst enemy. I find the whole thing so draining....

Silver - yes, I assume that just like temp charting, if you conceive your heart rate should stay high, although I have to confess that I've never seen a conception heart rate chart....

Hi everyone,

Nice to know I have lots of company in the 35+ age category! I have also read that book and found it useful. Think the 'sperm meets egg plan' was useful too (i get them mixed up, I now have quite a collection on my kindle.)

cariad I know exactly how you feel, I cry for ages after af comes, it's so so disappointing, really sorry. 2 month ago af came just as we were about to leave for Thomas Land for my 3 yr olds birthday day out. Luckily he couldn't see me in the front of the car! Pulled myself together by the time we got there!

I was also so positive at the start, eating healthily, etc (have just eaten 3 Freddo bars in bed reading :)

x

Cariad that does look a little off. Do you do OPKs? I hope the tests give you some sort of peace - knowledge either way, I guess. Do you think it's just this one cycle that's been anovulatory?

There is a thread here on Fitbits and TTC - I'm not good at links so here goes...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2895915-fitbit-ttc

spnfan - Thank you. I will take a look. Yes - I use opks and got a positive on CD13 this cycle accompanied by loads of EWCM in the run up to it, so if it wasn't for my Fitbit, I would have assumed it was a normal cycle... I had my progesterone levels checked last Thursday so will report back once I know.

Af has just arrived, so ovulatory or not, Cycle 8 is over and I'm now on CD1 of Cycle 9...

Hello ladies,

Can I join you? I've been lurking for a little while but Lopey's post prompted me to join in as I also have a mild prolapse from my first birth and feel a bit nervous about pregnancy/birth with it so floppy down below already. How do you feel about it Lopey?

My stats
33
Ttc #2 (ds is 23months)
Cycle 3, now on tww

Hey Squashy! I think I've been lurking for around a year before actually posting...!!

The prolapse is not tooooo bad....either it's got maybe a bit better in recent months, or (more depressingly) I've just got used to it. I can feel it when I run, walk for a long time, or lift heavy weights (e.g. a toddler)...and hoovering is the worst! (Good excuse not to...!)

In terms of another pregnancy and birth, in the words of the gynaecologist I saw about it, "the damage is done", and another round really won't make that much difference. It's so messed up down there anyway. And I really, really do want another baby so so much....that I don't care about the toll it will have on my body. Maybe a silly attitude but I can't push away these deep desires to make another baby....

I did wonder whether, if I was lucky enough to get pregnant again, they would offer me a Caesarian because of the prolapse. There's this fear that with it already bulging, all the pushing of a vaginal birth would just send everything all the way out! Grim. Don't fancy that at all. I already have to wear a pessary which makes me feel like I am an 80 year old woman having to prop her bits up to avoid all and sundry tumbling down and out the hole!!! Also quite odd having sex with it there.....

Mostly I don't think about it anymore. I think about my gorgeous boy who wouldn't be here if I hadn't suffered and pushed him out...and the promise of another to keep him company.

Hi everyone,

I'd like to join please. Currently ttc#2, ds turned 3 in June. I'm regretting leaving it so late to try for a second but just hadn't felt ready. I'm 39 and we have been trying for about 8 months. Using bbt and ff, opks and acupuncture (which I'm sure helped first time round) but so far no luck! Took around a year first time so was prepared for a struggle again but starting to stress that we've left it too late. I'm getting sick of trying to be healthy after 8 months but need to try and stick with it as age is against me. Hopefully won't have to wait too much longer, fingers crossed for July 😀

Hi , mind if I join too?
I have a dd, who's just turned 3. She has been difficult so we haven't felt ready to try until March this year. Since then I've had a chemical preg and now I'm not sure what's going on! I think I'm 3dpo. Sitting here with major cramps.
Last time I conceived first try so we thought it would be the same situation again...
Definitely finding it harder to try this time- as well as a toddler meaning chances of dtd are reduced, I'm married to a shift worker so sometimes daytime is only opportunity! Hard work.
Good luck to everyone. I'm due af on 9th July- I have extra long cycles...
Glad to have found this thread!

Lopey I admire your choice to run anyway. I really miss it but know it's a bad idea. I had quite a lot of physio and am now totally warned off any high impact sport. I think mine has improved but it starts bulging again unpredictably.

Does anyone find being between babies makes them less healthy? I keep thinking I better make the most of being able to drink after pregnancy and 18 months of breastfeeding. It probably isn't helping our chances of ttc!

Hello fellow newbies!

Hi newcomers hope everyone is doing okay!

CD6 here so opk testing has started again, I'm at the doctors this morning so that's something.

DH has cleared the garage again so I can start working out again with my punchbag. It's a good stress reliever if nothing else! I'm hoping it will help with my mood and maybe not get so obsessed this month.....