Thread 29 | The one with the BFPs (please)

[Londonjam]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Key:
HS - have/had sex
GOS - good old shag
ELH - enthusiastic lavatory happenings
LSFX - legs spread, fingers crossed

Welcome MrsTobe!

Wedding is end of June, I believe it's all under control. I don't feel like I've done very much, not really into this kinda thing. Most my time and effort has gone into planning our honeymoon 😂

Thanks :)

sk1pper when are you getting married?
I'm the 1st of July! It's so stressful isn't it! Where are you honeymooning?
Due to SO's job, we're not going on a proper honeymoon but we are going to a music festival next week as a kind of pre-honeymoon!

Ah skipper that's great! I got married last sept after a 5 month engagement and it was brilliant - I was very laid back about it beforehand too, to the point where I didn't expect to enjoy the day as much as I did - was actually the best day of my life!

I'm so bored in work today, looking forward to the weekend already...

Harriet I'm glad you said that - one of the things I like about using a softcup is seeing how much blood there is. You don't really get a sense of it with tampons.

Hi Basset and Katie fx AF stays away

Sorry AF got you tommy I don't have much advice I'm afraid on long cycles. Have you started fertility investigations?

Pyjamas know the feeling... sigh

Skipper so soon now! Ahhh I'm sure it'll be wonderful

Welcome mrstobe

DH had quite a meltdown with me today. We fell out last night - seem to be at each other's throats a lot. To be honest at times I feel like infertility is ruining our marriage. We're both so unhappy. He wrote me a long email today explaining how it's making him feel. Fertile week affects him a lot more than I realised. I kind of feel like saying - what can we do though? If we want to get pregnant then we have to shag when I'm fertile! There's not much I can do about that. He's booked to see a therapist - something he's never done before. I'm really pleased he's done this and have suggested we have a session or two together. Infertility is not for the faint hearted!

Mrstobe - ahhh congratulations to you too! You can always have a proper honeymoon later, ours has been a last minute thing to be honest. We're going to Tokyo, and might take a few day trips out like Mt Fuji. So excited!

Jam - goodness, I'm starting to realise how much this long term TTC takes it out of couples. IMO there should be much more emotional support available via NHS for couples going through this. I hope he feels better soon xx

Ah skipper and mrstobe how exciting about your upcoming weddings! I got married last year after a 9 month engagement and was the direct opposite of relaxed - it really brought out my control freakery. The day turned out great - but I often wonder what it may have been like if we'd had a smaller and more intimate day.

Sorry to hear about your troubles with DH jam - I completely get where you're coming from, nothing has affected our relationship like ttc has and I've sometimes questioned whether we will get through it. It's so great that he's booked therapy for himself and I really can't recommend joint therapy enough - it's really helping us. Individual therapy is great, but couple therapy is a whole different story.

sk1pper omg you must be so excited!! Tokyo is going to be so amazing! I've never been - you'll have to tell me what it's like

pyjamas normally I stress about everything, but I've actually been surprisingly laid back with my wedding, even though it's become a ridiculously over the top and expensive day lol
I'm glad you had a great though! If you want something small and intimate, maybe have a vow renewal ceremony one day down the line and just invite the people most important to you :)

jam I'm so sorry you're going through such a hard time. It's good that you and your DH can communicate about the struggles you're experiencing. I really hope things get better for you and you get that well deserved BFP!

Hope you went for a run today skipper!

Pyjama's goodluck for FW. I'm trying my new clear blue fertility monitor although it tells me to test from day 6 but not going to bother until day 10 otherwise I will be broke the amount they the opk's cost!

Jam, thanks for the list and for the well wishes. I'm doing a lot better thanks but still very tired post surgery.

Harriet, hope you are doing okay.

Pug, I had an abdominal myomectomy to remove fibroid nearly 8 weeks ago. Feeling alot better than I did but still shattered.

Hi to the newbies.

Should of said fibroids there were 3 of the buggers lol!

Skipper I totally agree. I think there might be emotional support available from our CCG I need to check the paperwork

Pyjamas I can really sympathise. I actually suggested to DH this morning that I move back to my mum and dads for a week or two to give us a break. I don't think I'll do it but it's an indicator of where my head is at! I would suggest to him having a break from trying for a few months but I've just taken 5 days of sodding clomid

Hopeful there was an item on myomectomy on Woman's Hour the other week - a specialist was discussing options there was a way of starving them instead of removing them?

Mrstobe - how's your wedding prep going?

Welcome mrstobe good luck with your upcoming wedding and Fx for this cycle.

sk1pper we went to Japan for our honeymoon. Absolutely amazing. We went to Osaka, Kyoto, Mount Fuji and Tokyo. Would love to go back. You'll have a fab time. When are you going?

londonjam sorry to hear about your troubles with DH. Good that he's seeing a therapist. Will also look into ivf abroad. Probably won't be a candidate for egg sharing as I don't have many eggs left and I'm not sure about the quality. Do you know if there's an age limit for egg sharing?

kerry I live in Essex. The post code lottery is really annoying.

lisa which region are you in? I agree with you that if we pay the same taxes we should get the same treatment options

katiegd my af is due in two days as well. We are cycle buddies! Are you testing on sat if no af?

That's partly why I went on my spa break jam - we needed a break from each other! I do see where you're coming from, it's so so difficult and especially because we can't predict if or when the difficulty will end. I've found that through joint therapy, we can more easily see the other person's point of view, our individual triggers and communicate better when there's someone there to impartially navigate the conversation. Such a horrible feeling - TTC is hard enough on it's own without the added stress of putting our relationships under massive strain! It just adds an extra dark cloud. I keep telling myself if we can get through this together, it means we'll be even stronger 🙂

I went absolutely mental at DH last night 😔

It's the clomid - I was totally nuts, saw red. Shouted screamed and cried for about an hour 😧😔😔

DH slept in the spare room. We've apologised to each other this morning and he knows this isn't the normal me.

God. It's probably not even going to make any difference. And I feel SO low! Skipper did it make you go crazy / low mood?

Otters - trying to find a positive, you're at least not far from London where some of the top clinics are?

Jam I'm so so sorry that the clomid is affecting your mood so much. You poor thing, that sounds just horrid

CD#1 over here as AF has arrived early just in time for a spa day!

That means my luteal phase was only 9 days - really bad but at least it gives me ammunition to see my GP tomorrow and then consultant on Monday and ask for help with it.

Ttc really does take its toll on your relationship. There have been times I've questioned if myself and my partner are going to get through it or not. I've had many nights sat crying or shouting at my oh through it all. Definitely isn't pleasant!

Sorry to hear the clomid is affecting you this way jam.

I was going to ask my gp if it was worth starting me on it considering I ovulate on my own. I think I will be using it along with injectables for my IUI but scared of the side effects as I have heard so many things.

cd9 here, so not much to do but distract myself...... 6km run yesterday ! my longest run yet.
to all of us.

Jam - I didn't get angry but I certainly felt mood swings. It was all post-ovulation though rather than whilst I was taking it, what CD are you? Remember I had that thing where I imagined my OH getting killed by a bus and randomly started crying? Definitely the Clomid. Did you just take 25mg?

Well done Hep! 5 km is still my longest.

I'm considering giving up and going back on the pill. I desperately don't want to stop TTC but the constant bleeding is getting me down and I don't see how I will ever conceive when my uterus starts falling out as soon as I ovulate.

Sorry for that downer. I'm actually feeling otherwise OK. Just fed up.

Sorry the clomid is having such unpleasant side effects Jam.

Alexia hope you're ok if you're reading.

flash, jam

Well done on the run Hep - its so much easier to face it on nice days of sunshine!

Sorry about AF Kerry - hope you are OK.

So sorry to hear about the tough times with your DH Jam - I really hope that you are OK. Perhaps a bit of space from each other is a good idea - certainly seemed to work for PJs Do you need the Clomid to ovulate or are you just giving yourself a bit of a boost?

I'm coming out of the AF fug (CD5 now) and looking forward to the next cycle. However apparently DH SA results won't be available for 3 weeks?! Seems a bit ridiculous but we are hoping to tie in a GP appointment for that plus the results of my re-do of the 21 day bloods (again will be done on CD23!)

Not sure if I'm going to be able to temp this month, I am so restless overnight and waking up every few hours.

If anyone is looking for a distraction or a bloody good laugh in the next few days - I'd definitely recommend going to see Baywatch at the cinema - its hilarious and not a single baby or pregnancy reference.

sk1pper Everything is pretty much done now :) I just have to get the bridesmaids presents and then I've finished :) Never thought I'd be this organised but my mum and DH have been so fantastic!

Jam I'm so sorry that the Clomid is taking it's toll on you! Have you considered relaxation exercises like yoga or meditation? It may help just take the edge of xxx

I do remember you saying that at the time skipper. I'm only on 25g too but I've been mental. Absolutely nuts. I screamed and shouted the house down until about 2am. Our poor neighbours. I must have yelled "we are never going to have children" 20 times.

It's never been this bad before - and especially at this point in my cycle! This is usually the chilled out bit where AF has gone and just thinking about HS again!

I officially hate clomid. I don't know if I can take it again! Our marriage might not actually survive it!

Jam - I honestly wouldn't take it if you feel that it is having such a negative effect on your emotions - because without meaning to sound like a wank - any positive effect that it might be having on your hormones will likely be wiped out by the negative effect of your unstable emotions and doesn't sound like there is much chance of a GOS either with the way things are? Obviously I'm not a Doctor though!

PYJAmas - my fertile week supposedly starts today but reckon Glow is out by 4 days. Partner overseas and back Monday - he had better have energy - trying to DTd tricky as he's perms knackered from travel. We've certainly had the "expecting me to perform / never will have children if we don't shag" arguments. Couples therapy I will fed do in six months to keep us sane/togryher

I'm really hoping I can get get a positive OPK this month. Going to do at lunchtime and bedtime

Temping seems complicated and only lets you know that you have ovulated. I don't think I am

Back at dr next week for second opinion on cycles and thyroid

So sorry for those of you with AF arrivals. I get raging PMT the day before some never a total surprise. Look after yourselves