TTC after miscarriage- March 2007

[duchesse]

Sorry, guys, can't leave a redirect at the old one- it's not accepting new messages. I hope nobody's already set a new one up...

NO! oh alittlebitshy ? I am so sorry hon, really I am that is exactly what happened to me, I don?t know if you felt it but I did feel relief that the MC was all over and that I did not have to go through anything else to get to the end of the experience. The sonographer looked at my ovaries and tubes too and that does put you another step forward than you were before you got pregnant with this one because you now know that they look ok. Small comfort at this stage I know They do tend to be a bit brisk, I guess they have to toughen up in that job . I did a test on Sat (which will have been 2 weeks after my scan) and got a negative. In a weird way, that made me feel better.

Please be kind to yourself and your body, both are very shocked and upset and need lots of TLC. Take as much time as you need before TTC again. How is your DH? I hope his faith helps him. I went to church a few days after my MC and lit candles and prayed for my little one, it gave me comfort. I was also recommended Prof Regan?s book on Miscarriage which was very good and when you are ready, there is a great one for trying again.

I am so sorry this happened we are all here for you if you need us.

Hi
littlebitshy god so sorry is so awful and the worst thing is that you have to carry on with daily life!

Winkygirl poor you - feels weird that someone has joined who has a due date later than mine (24/09). Sounds like we went through something similar - feels like your body has tricked you doesn't it? I almost feel ashamed that I spent so long "being PG" when it wasn't true. I have told quite alot of people now and it feels good - like it is normal and not my shameful secret. Also as the physical pain gets better there are more times in the day when I almost forget about it. God are we doomed to be defined by our MCs and ttcs and PGs forever? I think I was so much more innocent and cheerful before all of this happened! Can't wait to feel like me again!

MrsMcChoc you are such a positive influence. I am going to town on Friday to find a fabulous easter outfit that doesn't make me feel like one of the krankees!

lol at mrsmcchoc - THAT is a fab name too

dh seems to be okay. obv a bit upset but i tink he is worried thati'll go over the edge on this (depression etc in the pst). bizarrely i do feel in control of my enotions though whch is good.

re the scan, she noticed my c-section scar which i suppose showed that she was doing her job right (lol not that I am insinuating she wasn't, just that I am still bovvered by the discomfort in my left side cos it is not like period pain - more like something niggling).

god i'm being self absorbed .

Popsy ? my EDD was 7/10 I sometimes forget too and it?s just me again for a while, it?s nice enjoy shopping for your Easter Outfit

i just want to pop in and say how stong you ladies all are for TTc again, i also was trying to concive last year for 6 months, fell preg and sadley had a missed Miscarrage in August at 10 weeks, After 4 hard months we have fallen pg again and i am now 19 weeks, this pg hasnt been without worry as it never will be for you ladies , but this thread and the Pg after m/c thread are both fantastic and you have a lovley ladie on here to keep you all going ( you know who you are Mrs) - im sure you are all lovley!!

Our little ones have never or will be forgotten, they are all playing together xx

Look after yourselfs xx

Oh missed that name sorry Popsy! I do like mrsmcchoc

alittlebitshy ? that is good about your emotions be nice to yourself. I?m now worried about your pain. Did the EPU give you a phone number? I think you should give them a call and ask them to tell you what it might be. You might have to get a bit stroppy but you need peace of mind (and for the pain to go away!) I don?t like the sound of it. You are not being self absorbed at all.

That was so nice Pinkranger, thank you! Glad to hear you are ok, you are moving along aren?t you! Nearly half way there!

Littlebitshy, I am very sorry to hear about your sad news. Lots of TLC and when you feel up to it try again.

Josie, I really hope you get a very bad dose of morning sickness soon. I could swallow pills the size of houses but not very keen on injections!

MrsMcEasterBunny (I just love that, can you think of one for me?) other than on a few threads on here I am not a prolific poster but I am a notorious lurker. Like I said I have had to give up on the ante-natal May thread as it became agony. I am also weaning myself off the childbirth, birth announcements and postnatal threads. I am a curious and love to read what?s going on with other people?s pregnancies but I know that very soon people due in May will start posting about their imminent births and announcing the arrival of their bouncing babies so I?d rather steer clear away from these threads.

Alittlebitshy - so sorry hun
You should definitely share your concerns with someone, GP or EPU - extra worry will do you no good and you need your mind to be put at ease. When I was scanned after m/c last year they made a point of checking my ovaries too, probably to make sure there is nothing left there. I do think the attitude of many of the staff dealing with ladies like us sucks, many of them are very nice and understanding but just as many treat what is a very difficult and emotional situation for us as routine.

MrsMcEasterBunny - glad your friends were understanding with you, I think it is hard for them to realise that you are still happy for them (a problem I am having with a friend of mine at the mo - she didn't even tell me she had been for her scan in case I was upset). It will get easier for them and for you too. about spotting but it could just be your cycle getting back into swing - some people spot when they ov don't they? Anyway, hope you enjoy your facial!
You will be hard pressed not to tempt fate with that little lot!!! You seem very in tune with yourself - you said you thought you controlled things too much but there is nothing wrong with knowing where you are! I think if my cycle was more regular (or shorter even) then I would probably use pre-seed and OPKs and temps, etc. I think for now I just have to keep busy and hope I ovulate! If not then hopefully will get some answers in July.

Gillian how about Gillian?sEasterBonnet or Gillian?segghunt ? sorry, they?re not very good I can understand how you feel, I?m sticking mainly on Conception but checking out pregnancy sometimes too.

Hi Becklespeckledhen ? thank you for your thoughts yesterday, they made me call two friends last night and they actually seemed amazed that I was still happy for them! I struggle with that but there you go; they know I care and that they can talk to me so that?s good. No spotting for me sorry if I gave that impression, nothing so interesting happening I meant my skin facial was lovely and skin feels nicer today. In hear what you say about being irregular but pre seed is worth considering if you don?t get an abundance of EWCM as I don?t.

Feeling a bit low today, I?m tired and feel fat and nasty (weighed myself this morning I?m now 4 pounds heavier than I was when I got my BFP and I was too big for my liking then) I?ve got tons of work to do but no motivation at all If I don?t do some work soon, people are going to start noticing .

Morning ladies, I still haven't told my friend that we're not going to visit at Easter - I keep hoping that this cloud will lift and I'll suddenly feel able to talk PG and babies with her arghhh. I felt happy for the first time in ages yesterday but am a bit scared of moving on (don't want to tell people I feel a bit better as they think great thats over then). I saw a thread of a woman who got pregnant the month after her ERPC and have been searching to see if she made it...god I'm obsessed!

morning ladies,
well, my parents have gone home after being her helping us lok after dd (so we could go to appts etc).

I'm about to go into London to meet my best friend for lunch whicj will be nice then i have work this eve (mn time lol).

feeling v wobbly...

argh dh needs puter for work.

later

ey Popsy, don?t worry, there?s still time to make up your mind. How do you feel about telling her the truth and that you are just taking each day as it comes? If she?s a friend, she?ll understand. You don?t need anything at the moment that puts pressure on you That?s good that you felt happy, don?t feel bad about it, it doesn?t detract from what you?ve been through (or mean that you won?t still have bad days ? I?m having one today ) moving on doesn?t mean forgetting about your baby, it just means finding a way to exist until you feel stronger. I too have been hoping and praying that I?d fall quickly again to help take the pain away but I have to be realistic, I?m now cd28 and I haven?t ovulated so I suspect my body just isn?t ready yet Sending you hugs, it?s hard.

Alittlebitshy ? I hope you enjoy lunch and that it helps you feel a bit better. Are you sure you are up to going to work? I didn?t feel ready for the outside world for a few days after I found out, I just wanted to hide. Don?t be too brave. Take good care of yourself

Lunch was nice (pizza at ask - yum)
Then i made the mistake of wandering round oxford street briefly and coming to work (i only do one evening a week so thought it would be okay). Felt very weak and wobbly and just like i wanted to keel over and be put down .

am work now, wishing i was at home but it's only 3 hours then i can go home and curl up.........

spent ages in a cold bath last night hoping more hot water would come thorugh so i could top it up. it didn't and i just sat there crying, and even went to bed and missed life on mars.

why do i feel like this? I was only 5 weeks pg.

waaaah

Hi Ladies, lost my network coverage earlier so went for a lovely long walk. Thanks for the advice MrsMc - I am going to call her tonight. I have also planned a shopping trip tomorrow to buy some nice clothes and perk me up. Is so hard coping with all of this when you are used to having control over everything in your life. Its also hard to look ahead to events etc when I have no idea when I next might get PG. I'm kind of looking forward to trying but also am nervous about the worry and disappointments that could lie ahead...need to find something else to focus on until then - might take up a new hobby to keep me sane. Hope you are all enjoying the beautiful evening sunshine! xxx

Littlebitshy - just read your message - sending HUGE hugs! I don't think it matters how long you are PG for - your hormones flood in and then your body starts to change and you can't help but get excited for the future and then it takes ages for your brain to accept that it is not going to happen after all. I remember my doctor telling me not to get excited and that "you are not pregnant until the scan confirms it". I think that is total bollocks and we would have to be made of wood to not feel pregnant. Give yourself time and lots of treats and try to think of something to take your mind off it until you can start trying again (I admit I haven't managed this yet but am going to try .

and i gave up chocolate for lent. i so need it

lol.

what hobby are you thinking of popsy?

Oh god no chocolate...the only other option is booze which I am trying to stay off as when I was PG everyone guessed as I am never sober if I can help it. Can't deal with people knowing again so am going to be T-total until PG again (with the odd lapse infront of ER in private )

I thought of doing an evening class like pottery or a language at the local FE. However, both of these things involve me doing more (I am supposed to do less from now on even though am sure did not MC due to stress is as good a reason as any to chillout a bit!) The other option is to transform the garden as I have totally neglected it due to being too knackered. Could plant lots of pretty flowers and some veggies so I have something to nurture through spring and summer?
p.s.just ran to the post office and 5 heavily pregnant women were coming up the road with husbands and bean bags...felt like was in some sick comedy sketch - trying to laugh about it as is sure to be plenty more where that came from

husbands and beanbags????????????????

gardening sounds good. my dh has been planting seeds for veggies. bless him he put down loads of ones that say they can be planted early then it snowed lol so he went and bought cheapo shower curtains from tescos to cover them up. I had images of him sititng there with my hairdryer nurturing his precious veggies (last year he was too late planting so we didn't get many so this is very important to him lol).

I'm always a reader but I have taken to even more chick lit to get me through this. A degree and a masters yet i still love my chick lit above all else!!!!!

alittlebitshy - sorry to hear this bad news. you're not being self-absorbed at all - i think all of us on here still have days where our lost babies are all we think about. you just have to give yourself time to rest and heal.

winkygirl - hello and welcome to our thread. sorry to hear your news but hope you feel a bit better offloading on here - we're all here for mutual support.

hello gillian - was only thinking about you recently because you didn't seem to have been around so much. weren't you going for some reflexology? how did that go?

MrsMcJnr - sounds like you're having a low day today. Are you tired for particular reasons? Is it work? Not sleeping? Diet? I find it very difficult to eat healthily (and in moderation) if i'm tired; in fact there's good evidence to show we crave more high fat/calorie foods when we haven't slept enough. Perhaps if you tried to address the underlying reasons for your tiredness then you could get to grips with your diet (i mean diet as in the types of food we eat btw) and that should help you start to feel a little better. I'm saying this as someone who battles with food (ishoos, i suppose..), but I know for sure that i over eat when tired and it's a vicious circle.

hello everyone else. hope you've had good days today.

Just logged on again and wanted to say how I was to hear your news alittlebitshy you just have to take one day at a time and make sure you don't rush back to work as it takes so much out of you emotionally and physically. It doesn't matter how far along you were the emotions are the same.

Popsy76 - I've decided a new hobby/class is the way forward, I also reduced my hours down slightly at work so I can play more

mrsmcchoc - thanks for all your lovely words - I had a mistype last time and what I meant to say was that I thought before the mc that it was so easy to plan and that I would wait for three months and then get pregnant just like that.I guess I was very naive about ttc

winkygirl - welcome sorry to hear your news hope you are getting lots of TLC

Oh forgot to ask someone mentioned taking flaxseed oil what was that for???

Thanks for being so welcoming everyone.

Popsy - cannot believe what the doctor said. How can you not embrace your pregnancy until the 12 week scan? Rhhh.

Well, I'll be lurking on here for awhile and thinking good thoughts for you all. Bleeding is tailing off after D&C. Before DH and I can start TTC I will be keeping busy with home improvement and a few beauty appointments. xx

alittlebitshy my first laugh at the day with images of your dh out in the snow hairdrying his seeds! ha ha ha

Off to brent cross to spend money - have been ordered to by DH - sobetter put some effort in have a good day ladies!