TTC after miscarriage- March 2007

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Sorry, guys, can't leave a redirect at the old one- it's not accepting new messages. I hope nobody's already set a new one up...

Hello, am back. Hope everyone is okay. Welcome to littlebitshy, sorry to see you here and hope your stay is as brief as possible.
I'm feeling better today, had a good weekend, went away to see some friends then dh and I went shopping in Ikea, for some retail therapy. Bought some furniture, new bedding, glassware and crockery (have had some breakages!) and some tealights and holders - the tealight holders were 9p each!!!

Hi Becklespeckledegg ? How about MrsMcBonnet for me? It?s a bit lame, any suggestions? Did enjoy the walk, made us feel quite virtuous! I know you are right about weight not making a difference to pg if it just a little either way but I would be happier to be lighter next time round (currently a few pounds heavier than when I got pg before though ) I don?t believe that anything I did or didn?t do made me MC, I do accept that it was just one of those things that I couldn?t have avoided. That?s funny about wanting to eat cold food when you were pg but then again, heat is an issue in early pg isn?t it and it may be your body?s way of protecting the baby ? ingenious! I look forward to us all complaining about pg/post partum issues very soon!

My maternal Aunt has a type of Thrombophilia caused by a prothrombin G20210A mutation. She is late 40s and it was discovered because she has a couple of small strokes. Her Dr has advised all blood relatives to get tested as it is a hereditary thing and if you have it, it is important to know as it will guide your decision making with regards to the pill, pregnancy and HRT. Given the MC, I just want to know if I do/don?t have it as I?ll worry next time round if I still don?t know. I understand that management of it in pregnancy includes taking baby aspirin and possibly heparin whilst pg but if you don?t the clotting can stop blood getting through the placenta and can cause MC or small for dates babies. My Aunt has 2 daughters, both weighed less than 4 pounds at birth, they were a few weeks early but nothing significant, they were both born post 38 weeks. I wonder what the issue is with hamsters? Is it toxoplasmosis like with cats? We have 3 cats, they are all house cats though but DH still deals with their litter as a precaution.

Oh Cazzybabs that is wonderful! Congratulations! I am so excited for you!!! I really do recommend my book ?Trying Again? by Ann Douglas and John Sussman (got mine on Amazon) as it has loads of info for being pg again and putting your mind at rest. Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy and a beautiful, perfect baby!

Welcome alittlebitshy but I really hope that you don?t need to be here and that it is just one of those weird things. Have you spoken to/been to the EPU? I think that would be your best bet if your local hospital has one. It is early and they wouldn?t see much in a scan but they could help in other ways, it?s so horrible being in limbo . You have joined at a great time though as we are all feeling upbeat and excited for Cazzy!! If it is a MC we all know how it feels on here and really hope you find the support and comfort you need in us how are you feeling now, physically and emotionally now?

The amount of bleeding doesn?t necessarily mean a MC hon as BeckleSpeckledegg as already said, it is amazing how much some ladies have and things are still ok How do you feel? any dizziness/vision blurring? (I had this the day my MC started and I did not know then that this could be a sign ) nausea? cramping? Fever? Chills? Shoulder pain? Any pain in abdomen? Headache? Dehydration? Does it hurt when you pee? Any watery discharge? Any swelling anywhere?

Don?t give up yet but yes, if you have had a MC and the bleeding has stopped and there is no risk of infection, you will probably be told that it is safe to try again. Some Drs tell you to wait until after your next period but that is only for dating purposes and scans make that wait unnecessary. Lots of people do get pg again quickly (some say you are more fertile after a MC) but the return of ovulation seems to be the key thing and I don?t think I have ovulated yet and my MC started 25 days ago and I usually OV cd16-18 and have a 28/29 day cycle . The first day of bleeding in a MC is counted as CD1 apparently. The leaflet I was given by the EPU says that periods should resume within 6-8 weeks of a MC. It?s not heartless to think about TTC again immediately, DH and I felt exactly the same way. The baby we lost was our first and we had tried for her for 8 cycles and we feel the best medicine for us to get over our grief would be to get pregnant again as soon as we can

Wheelybug ? we?ll miss you but have GREAT hols

Hi Uki nice to see you, how are you?

Hello Catbabymummy glad you enjoyed the retail therapy and most importantly that you feel better.

alittlebitshy - so sorry to see you here - how are you today?

To try to answer your questions (and purely based on my own experience) I had a m/c last Friday at 6 weeks and my surgery didn't want to do anything about it; but then again, neither did I. It was plain to me from the amount of heavy clotty blood lost that there couldn't be much of anything left, and then I tested negative a couple of days later.

Do you have an EPU near you? As Beckle says, you count the day you m/c as CD1 and pretty much start from there. I've been flooded with ewcm the past couple of days but don't appear to be ovulating yet. The nurse I spoke to said some doctors say skip a month ttc so they can more acurately date your next pregnancy but many these days say just go ahead if you want to (esp with early m/c): early scans can date the baby.

cazzybabs what lovely news - when is your due date do you think?

Great news about the EWCM Peanutbutter - go for it!

Hi Ladies, Can I join your thread? I had an ERPC on Friday, went for my first scan on the Monday which should have been 13 weeks but I must have miscarried at 9 weeks. Still in shock and grieving for the life we had planned out. I know time will make things easier but I am now desperate to start again even though I am terrified of going through the same thing. I was told to wait one cycle (god that seems like ages!) before having sex - maybe this is because of the surgical procedure? Anyway - lovely to meet you all and hear that others are in the same boat!

hi,
thanks for all your lovely words everyone

we went to a and e in the end last night(tried out of hours gp but he was crap and didn;t even want to see us, sent us to a and e). They were actually great. Called gynae dr down.

Took bloods. going back tomorrow for more bloods (checking hcg levels) and an early scan.

did quick internal which allayed all my fears about internals - i hated them when pg with dd but this was ok). My cervix is still closed. Trickle of blood (as i now cos i am still bleeding but not as hevaily. more than spotting but not full blown period).

I suppose it is scan and wait and see.

Sigh. I went in convinced i'd m/c'd and now i assume i am still nominally pg (5+4 now)although I have to assume the inevitable.

dh and my mum being fab - making me rest lots.

I still have discomfort on my left side but i suppose a scan will help with al that.

want to know now

Popsy76 ? Welcome! really sorry to hear about what you have been through it must have been a horrible shock when you went for your scan. We all know exactly how you feel, the feeling of loss is indescribable isn?t it? I really hope that this thread and all its lovely dwellers will make you feel much better and give you lots of support and knowledge, I know that that has really helped me through the last 3 weeks.

There seems to be mixed thoughts on how soon you can try again. I was 10 weeks and had a natural complete miscarriage and was told that we could try again as soon as the bleeding stopped but that we might want to wait a cycle so that the next pregnancy (if we are that lucky) is easier to date. We decided not to wait but I haven?t ovulated yet and that does appear to be quite common after a miscarriage.

Alittlebitshy ? Glad to hear that A&E looked after you well I know it will seem like a lifetime until the repeat bloods and scan tomorrow, hang in there. I?ll be thinking of you. That is really good news that your cervix is still closed . I hope the bleeding stops and the scan shows a safe beanie tomorrow.

I think the best advice we were given when we were in horrible limbo was to hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. I found that making a list of the possible scenarios and what questions I?d like to ask in the event of each of them was really helpful as it focused my mind both before and after the scan as I wanted all the answers. The outcome for me wasn?t what I wanted and I had miscarried but it was not worst case scenario as far as what had to happen then and because I had prepared for the worst, it was easier to get through what the actual was. Remember as well that your body is still pregnant and will stay that way effectively even if you do MC for a few weeks yet so be nice to it I know that there is a desire to punish it, I guess that is just one of the emotions we feel.

I really hope to see you on here tomorrow all happy because your beanie is safe

oh mrsmcj - you're lovely (I knew that anyway cos i'd read ttc threads before we started ttc) and you got your bfp not long after i immersed myself in the ttc section, so i never really chatted to you.

thanks though - you're a lovely shining star

You're welcome hon, I know exactly how you are feeling right now, take very good care of yourself

Hello everyone

Haven't been on line for awhile but it was great to get all your messages. It really helps to talk to other people who have gone through it. I just feel that everyone I know is pregnant or has babies, I think my best friend is pregnant but I'm sure she is a little worried that I will get upset. I will be so pleased for her but it just reminds me what I lost.

Popsy76 - I waited for three months after my ERPC because I thought I needed time emotionally, however I think you should try when you feel ready. I wish I had just seen what happened and not tried to control everything. I know exactly how you feel, the whole world is continuing as normal yet you have an unbelievable emptiness which you carry around. It does get easier.

alittlebitshy hope everything is ok.

Catbabymummy - glad you feeling a bit better, sounds like you had good weekend! Ikea is fab, wish I had one nearer to me - got loads of hurricane glasses and candles from there for my wedding - think they were 79p each - such good value!
MrsMcJnr - I like MrsMcEasterBonnet! or how about MrsMcEasterEgg or something? I am not too inventive myself but lots of the others are! I think you are right to have your bloods looked into, better to know these things and be prepared. There is thick blood in my family too, lots of strokes and thrombosis. My Mum was taken off the pill at 30 because of it. Don't think it is the same as your family have though - my babies were definitely not small! The thing you can get from hamsters and mice is Lymphocytic Choriomeningitis, can cause some nasty problems for baby. You can get it from touching or inhaling the urine (spores I guess in the case of inhaling). It does say it's only usually found in wild rodents but if there has been any contact then pet ones may carry it too. Problem is that my DSs are a bit young (6.9 & 4.2) to clean theirs out properly and get him out of the cage... We too have cats but I wear gloves to do their tray - a job my DH will take over if I get pg again.
Peanutbutter - how are you doing now?
Popsy - how awful for you, with my first I went for a scan at 15 weeks and they said baby died at 12-13 - is such a shock, before that point I didn't know there was such a thing as a missed m/c. I had and ERPC last year due to m/c and was told I could start trying as soon as I was ready once bleeding had stopped. I waited until next AF but you have to do what feels right for you.
Alittlebitshy - I have everything crossed for you, please let us know how you get on tomorrow.
Poppy - IKWYM about your BF being pg and not telling you, mine is too and was really worried about telling me in case I was upset (she wasn't going to but we went to a psychic evening and the psychic told us!). I am soooo pleased for her, just a little sad for myself too...
Everyone else, Hi! Hope your all doing okay.

Thanks again for all your support ladies, am doing some what better especially as I have been off loading on the boss
Special thanks to MrsMc, you are definitely our rock here
Cazzy - belated congrats from me, I am pleased for you.
Poppy- {{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}
Josie - thanks for you advice too, hope you are feeling okay, sending lots of good vibes yo your little bean (and all the other beans!)
Alittlebitshy - fingers and toes crossed for you, hope everything is okay on your scan.

hello everyone

alittlebitshy - good luck with your scan today, we'll all be keeping our fingers crossed for you & your little one.

popsy76 - welcome to the thread; we all know and understand those feelings of shock and grief you're experiencing. The kind and understanding support from the other ladies on this thread has made things better for me so I hope you can take what you need from it as well.

BeckleSpeckledEgg i'm doing okay thanks - still compulsively checking the bbc pregnancy calendar and the ante-natal threads of course.... How are you? You have rather a long wait til your Consultant appointment don't you ? Do you think your hormones are settling down now though?

MrsMcJnr & catbabymummy and everyone else good morning!

Thinking about you today alittlebitshy and sending you positive vibes!

Hello Poppy75 I know hon you time will come. What did you mean when you said ?I wish I had just seen what happened and not tried to control everything?? I?m very keen on control and sometimes I don?t think it serves me well

Becklespeckledegg ? do you like my new name better? think you might! I don?t plan to ever go back on the pill, for the last 5 years or so (of 18 ) I had some issues and needed to change brand a lot, I plan to keep temping and charting and if I end up getting it wrong and having loads of kids, so be it! I?m 33 now so just how many could I have!? I?d like 4 but think that?s a bit optimistic! That thing from rodents sounds nasty (don?t really like them myself so probably sounds even more nasty to me ? inhaling and touching their urine ? yuck!) Think your DH should take over both jobs now, doubt you?ll miss them and better safe than sorry. My GP actually told my DH at my first ante-natal appointment to take over. He?s quite happy to keep going as he doesn?t like the idea of risking it even when we are TTC.

Catbabymummy ? glad to hear it! what a nice thing to say, thank you

Peanutbutter - hello there! Don?t torture yourself with the ante-natal threads hon I go over sometimes to check on my October pals but I did actually forget I?d be 13 weeks today until I got an email from Emma?s Diary to tell me that I have now unsubscribed 3 times from those! I must be getting a bit better. I?m trying to focus on weeks until I get pg again rather than my next due date, that just seems so far off and as I?m probably into 2008 by now, that seems so far away!

I?m probably being paranoid but it seems as though all my pregnant friends are avoiding me at first I thought they were giving me space because they thought their condition would upset me but now it?s beginning to look like the other way round, maybe they think I am a bad omen or something. I feel quite lonely, there are 9 pregnant ones at the mo and I don?t like being out of the gang! I know people just don?t know what to say but I feel that saying nothing and staying away are worse don?t you?

off for my scan in a few mins...

was q relaxed but v v scared now.

was feeling a bit more hopeful but there is still bleeding, whereas overnight it was only a couple of spots!!! argh!!!!

let you know later.

thanks all.

It's only natural that you feel like that and there will be more blood when you are walking about rather than lying down overnight, doesn't mean it's started up again. Wishing you SO much luck xx

Littlebitshy, hope your scan goes well - thinking about you!

Peanutbutter, the compulsive checking of pregnancy sites when you have had a mc can be uncontrolable. I never joined my ante natal thread as I felt it was too early (I mc at 9 wks) but I lurked there a lot. I have eventually had to stop picking at that scab as it was getting me very depressed. I have also banned myself from a lot of MN threads and other pregnancy sites just for my sanity.

Popsy, welcome to our thread. Sorry to hear your about your mc. You are amoung friends here. Waiting to TTC again can seem an age. Some people just go for it and others wait. Only you can decide what is best for you emotionally.

Catbabymummy, I too find retail therapy cures a lot of ailments!!

Josie, how are you doing? Have you tested again and/or contacted EPU? BTW I think you are very brave to self inject!

MrsMc and Beckle, love the new topical names!

Hi ladies, thanks for the lovely messages. I was supposed to go into work today but couldn't face it. Funny thing is being at home is pretty rubbish too. My pregnant friend rang last night. She is the only one of the three that I can bring myself to talk to - maybe is because she had an MC before this one and has always been just as worried as me. I'm going to cancel trip to see other PG friend at easter - too much too soon. Just have to shift this "eating for 2" weight and get my skinny jeans back on - feel like an advert for what not to wear at the mo...just off to get the last magnum out of the freezer - well it is sunny!

Thanks Gillian for your message-luckily I don't mind injections (con't swallow tablets mind you!!)
Have tried to phone EPU, but senior m/w on holiday, the consultant is going to ring later to have a chat. Keep panicking that my pg symptoms have gone, then relieved when they come back, lets hope they stay, never thought I'd say this, but lets hope I get a good dose of morning sickness soon!

Afternoon all!
Alittlebitshy - hope your scan goes well, thinking of you x
MrsMcEasterBunny - love the new name! (I am such a child...) I don't ever plan on going back on the pill either, after next child DH is going for the snip! I always wanted 4 kids too until I realised how stressful pregnancy can be! I am still amazed we decided to have another, but now I can't bear the thought of not having anymore. I too think my DH should take over the hamster and cats but he won't...He says 'well you're not pregnant yet are you?', hmphhh. Got appt with GP tomorrow morning so will ask him then, maybe gloves and a mask will be enough. Your DH sounds lovely, mine is not quite so hands-on. With regards to your pg friends ignoring you, they prob just don't know what to say. Having been in the position of m/c when everyone else still pg and being pg when other's m/c - I have to say that the latter was harder. I felt very akward and was so worried that my friend would feel I was rubbing her nose in it so I tried not to talk about my pregnancy unless she brought the subject up. Perhaps you could try talking to them? Tell them how you feel.
Peanutbutter - Is hard not to keep thinking 'I would be XXX by now', very hard, hopefully you will be pg again by your due date though - that does make it easier I think because you have something new to focus on. I have got a bit of a wait until next appointment - July 20th - feels like forever to me though! I do feel my hormones are settling down a little, although cycle was even longer than last one, AF only stayed 8 days compared to the 23 days she stayed last time and 15 days the time before! Also, no on/off spotting beforehand either - straight into it. Still very spotty though but hopeful that it is all calming down now.
Popsy - take as much time as you need to recover, your body and mind have both just had a massive shock! It took me 2 weeks to get back into work after my first m/c. You enjoy your magnum and look after yourself.
Fingers crossed for some morning sickness for you too JossieJump!

Hi Everyone, can I join in? I was due in October but started bleeding last Thursday (9.5 weeks) and a scan showed the baby had died at 8 weeks. Had a D&C.

We have a DD of 10 months so our babies would have been 17 months apart. Back to ttc. It seems like such an uphill struggle. I know I am so blessed to have DD as looking after her has kept me busy.

MrsMc - I was following the October thread but hadnt introduced myself. Was so sad for you and the others - obviously was not a lucky due month...

Keeping fingers crossed for everyone.

Sorry to hear your news and welcome WinkyGirl. How for you. You are lucky to have your DD and she will help keep your mind off it all but make sure you take some time for yourself too. Sometimes we forget to do that.

Gillian ? hello, which other threads have you banned yourself from?

Hello Popsy ? I know that feeling, I put off going back to work a couple of days, just take each as it comes I know what you mean about food and how you feel about your body. Mine seems too big for one

Jossie ? thinking of you, hope the consultant makes you feel better

Hey Becklespeckledegg ? thanks for the advice, I have called a few of them but don?t want to make them uncomfy, I can understand what you are saying, it must be hard to not feel that you are rubbing it in. I had a long chat with BF at lunchtime, she is 33 weeks and we were so looking forward to time off work together with our babies she?s been having BP issues and I think she?s a bit low. I asked if I could come and see her nursery (she?s spent ages getting all done), she was a bit taken back I think but I tried to explain that I just want everything to be ok for my pg friends, and that I have no other emotions about their pregnancies. I?m spotting too going for a facial at 5pm, can?t wait.

I?ve done everything possible to tempt fate to give me a BFP soon , I?ve stocked up on peanut butter, I?ve bought £50 worth of pre seed, OPKs and pregnancy tests plus months and months worth of EPO and Flaxseed oil capsules, I?m going to a Spa Hen night on 28/4, I?ve rekindled my love affair with wine (but am being a little shy this time round!) and with sushi and to top it off, I have just bought a dress for a wedding on 19/5 and if there is a single additional inch on me, especially round my boobs, I won?t be able to wear it? tempting enough for fate do you think? Or will he wait until I?ve booked my flights to the BVI for April 2008! I suspect so!

Winkygirl I?m so sorry to see you here and even more sorry that this has happened to you I hope you are ok. We all know how you feel and will offer you as much support as we can. I hope it?s not long before you fall again. Our AN thread seemed to be unlucky for a lot of us, I was discussing it with another MN who is due in July and she couldn?t believe how many of us have had to leave .

hi,
well it is over
scan showed an empty uterus (and although she was very brisque when i mentioned my one sided discomfort she said my ovaries were ok so i presume she looked at my tubes as well).
got a pg test to do in 2 weeks time.

she said to wait 2 cycles, but i am deffo waiting til i've had a period, then once i've had that, and after easter (dh is a vicar so a bit busy lol) we'll get back to work.

I keep crying. I thought i had run out of tears.

we went out for lunch (my lovely parents are collecting dd from school) and wandered rounda few shops. nearly sobbed at the pg books in whsmiths lol.

got some leotards from tchibo for dd though - she's just started ballet

keep having waves of feeling so low. I am sure it is normal but it is so horrible

so sorry for your loss, alittlebitshy.
Take care of yourself.